My feelings about it are best explained by Paul (below):
It's funny how those grudges just dissipate over time.
Also, none of those words: stupid, victim, gullible, etc. seem to quite describe my scn experience anymore, though at one time I called myself all those things. Not that I didn't spend quite a few years doing the facepalm.
It's just that I've looked at my scn experience from so many angles that there was a lot more to it than blaming those true believers who got carried away with their authority while they were brainwashed. The whole system was corrupt and came from the deranged mind of a schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur who somehow managed to inscribe his delusions on others' brains for the purpose of controlling them and lording over them and personally benefiting from their labor. It was sick beyond sick.
In life, we are never completely secure. If we ever think we are, we can lose it all in a heartbeat. Eventually, everyone gets sick, everyone dies. The more we chase security, the less free we become. We stop taking risks, we worry about holding onto things or regaining things that may not last anyway.
Letting go of the past, of anger at individuals and moving on to do what you wish in life and what makes you happy is as free as you get.
In Scientology, there was security in believing there was someone with the answers and I didn't have to think about it or worry about it anymore. There was security in believing in a single purpose of improving the world without any distraction. Of course that security was false. In the Sea Org, my security was threatened every week, depending on my stats being up or down. So even the security of believing in Hubbard was false from the start. Of course people were undeclared Clear; there was never any security in any action of the bridge helping with anything, no matter how much praise or how many success stories or how outrageous the stated wins.
The Church of Scientology is still an abusive, criminal organization masquerading as a beneficial church. It is still scamming people, destroying families and ruining lives. Those still in are still trapped, those that are out are free or on their way to becoming free. There is every reason for those who know to spread the word and help the others as much as we can.
Most people become a whole lot nicer when they leave scientology and the scientology personality. They become a whole lot happier too.
I think Mike Rinder is a great guy. He's being himself these days and seems genuinely happy and likes who he is. I wish he could have had that for himself instead of the years he had as a fake scientology persona. In a way, it wasn't really him that did those things. Only an exscn can truly understand what I mean by that, too. Mike Rinder was cheated. We all were. So you brush yourself off and get up and move forward so you can live the rest of your life as well as possible and be your genuine, ideal self.