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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid OT Moments in Scientology

.

I have a lot more , but as they say moderation.


Another little taste, who wouldn't want this? How much to get this?
kansas%20city%20trailblazers_13.jpg


. . . who wouldn't want this?

:hysterical:

I don't know who wouldn't want one of those trendy Trail-Blazer white faux leather jackets--because they make such a confident fashion statement, proudly signaling to everyone: "Hey, bitch, I just drove up here in a damn 1975 candy apple, metal-flake red Firebird Trans Am--the same bad boy that I used to drive to all those Trail-er-Trash carnivals where Evil Kenevil might show up and sign autographs!"

However, I find those white pleather jackets very restimulative!

I think I am experiencing wholetrack deja vu. . .


Dianetics_-_The_Evolution_of_a_Science.jpg
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 MILITARY MESSIAHS in Scientology

..

When will the cult finally cognite?!

Why are the masters of knowing-how-to-know always the last-to-know?


un-retouched original photo from Tony Ortega's always entertaining & enlightening site: THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER

SeaOrgPoster-e1503193131389.jpg



When will they figure out that:

* fanatic freaks in naval costumes, staring-and glaring-you-down, is not something anyone needed/wanted "on this planet". Hey guys, go back and re-do your "new non-existence formula", you're creeping people out "on this planet".

* talking about the word "planet" (which obsessively punctuates every Scientologist's totally certain and altitudinous pronouncements) why are you people always depicting yourselves imperiously looming & lurking over a nearby globe? (EXAMPLE) Yes, we know that you believe you are "handling" the planet, but have you noticed at all that the planet is actually and quite devastatingly handling you?

* we have talked to you so many times about that "Galactic" icon that adorns your fake military costumes--yet you keep flashing it publicly as though you are not already the most mercilessly reviled & ridiculed "religion" on this planet. Sure, we understand, you can't refuse to follow The Commodore's special briefing to Sea Org members where he carefully explained how proud you should be to wear the 75 million year old Xenu confederacy icon. You're expecting so much from that, we know--because Ron guaranteed you that if humans saw that double-wreath and star, they would automatically be restimulated into a wholetrack engram, whereupon they would immediately "OBEY!" you and your commands. Yes, Ron was very certain that everyone would obey you, and now you are very certain they are obeying you, right? (HELPFUL TIP FOR SO MEMBERS: Do a clay demo of why everywhere you go, wogs who see you begin line charging--and how your ethics presence is causing them to key out so heavily).





SHADOW%20ORG_zpsbouojaq6.jpg
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
...


The essential methodology by which Scientologists quickly spread stupid cult think (and avoids the "high crime" of verbal data) is by the clever device known as an "R-Factor" (reality factor). That's not a suppressive act because (um) it uses "reality"--which scientifically comprises 33.33% of the ARC Triangle. The ubiquitous "R-Factor" (aka a "Briefing") has two components:

1) The BRIEFER who delivers the r-factor.

2) The BRIEFEE who receives, duplicates and thereafter complies with the briefing "data".

We have in the previous post a prime example of Hubbard "r-factoring" Scientologists that the Sea Org "Galactic" icon has talismanic power within it, which is very useful as a tool to conquer and enslave mankind on this planet. If you recall, just the mere sight of this icon immediately shatters any resistance to "command intention" by a Sea Org member!



sea-org.jpg




There are a near-infinite number of "Briefings" in Scientology. You can "brief" anyone on anything, as long as they are below you on the org board. By universal laws, the Briefer is empowered to trick anyone to do anything, by simply making up a WHOLETRACK PARABLE whose lesson must be followed if the planet is to be saved.

OT III, iteself, is nothing more than a Briefing, albeit one that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to attend.

Remember the "Briefing" a few years ago where COB "briefed" Tom Cruise, who later angrily lectured ex-wife #3 that (holding hand above head), "LRH IS UP HERE!" Then lowering his hand to scalp level: "COB IS HERE!" Then lowering his hand slightly to eye-level: "AND I AM HERE!" Tom had huge wins on that briefing that he wanted so badly to share with others, lol

People often wonder how a billionaire movie star like Tom Cruise can be so easily manipulated. The answer is "Briefings" Okay, here's how COB could make Cruise believe/do virtually ANYTHING, as long as the briefing was on proper trajectory.


COB
Hey Tom, I need to give you an urgent, very special VIP Briefing!

MR. CRUISE
Really? I'll be right over!

CUT TO: Somewhere in a super-secret underground briefing vault.

COB
Tom, remember when I gave you a gold medallion for being the
world's most dedicated Scientologist?

MR. CRUISE
Yes, sir, I do. I still regard my $25 million dollar donation that prevented
a nuclear war in the Middle East when we air-dropped over 1 billion
Arabic Way To Happiness pamphlets on terrorist training camps,
with yellow highlighter on the precept:
"Do Not Murder People Who Don't Deserve It!"

COB
That's right, Tom. But now we have something bigger
that I need your help to handle. Much bigger.

MR. CRUISE
If's its ripping other celebrities a new asshole, like I did with Brooke
Shields and Matt Lauer, I am locked-and-loaded sir, ready to roll!

COB
No, Tom,it's even bigger than that! It's something in a totally
confidential briefing that LRH gave me before he departed
for Target II back in 1986.....he saw the future and predicted
everything that would happen!! I swear to God, Tom, when
you and Scientology's only other parishioner that is qualified
get this briefing, your mind willl be blown beyond imagination
and planetary clearing will be come a reality!

MR. CRUISE
Wow!


[AFTER THE VIP BRIEFING ]



3386F5EE00000578-3571281-image-m-2_1462281926975.jpg


!!! SUCCESS STORY !!!

I can't reveal too much about the Super-OT Briefing, but I can say this.
Only two people in the world had the necessary quals to attend it.
It has to do with level of havingness--and only myself and
Bob Duggan were allowed to hear the briefing, which was
personally delivered by COB himself! Well, back in 1986 LRH
predicted that the world would fall apart and destroy
itself. And before that all the countries in the world would
attack and sue and criminally prosecute leading Scientologists
like COB and myself. LRH stated that the only handling to
guarantee mankind's eternity was if we bought an Ideal Island
where we would secure our own sovereign country! Naturally
this plan had to be kept 110% confidential until we had "pulled it
off". Well, now we have pulled it off. Both Bob Dugan and I
donated a half-billion dollars each and that was the downpayment
needed to buy the island. The deal is now closed and Scientology
owns its own country!!! We are going to join the fucking United
Nation and get our own fucking army and eventually our
own nuclear fucking
weapons!! THE WAR IS OVER! THE WAR
IS OVER! THE WAR IS OVER! THE WAR IS OVER!!!!!!!!
So anyways, I didn't believe it at first, but then COB showed me
the Sea Org galactic, double wreath icon and read me
LRH's own words explaining what it means. You see this wreath
on the left? That is LRH himself! And the reciprocal right left?
Why, that is COB himself! And do you see what is in the middle?
A star, right? Well, LRH said that star is me. A movie star! The
world's biggest movie star! I can't tell you how overjoyed I
am to find out my true destiny. This is reality people! That's
why they call it a reality factor, can you fucking DB
small beings even duplicate this shit?!!! God damn, keep
going on your bridge, people, so you can eventually get your
screwed up havingness level up enough to save entire planets!

ML,

Tom ("Mr.") Cruise

 
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guanoloco

As-Wased
...


The essential methodology by which Scientologists quickly spread stupid cult think (and avoids the "high crime" of verbal data) is by the clever device known as an "R-Factor" (reality factor). That's not a suppressive act because (um) it uses "reality"--which scientifically comprises 33.33% of the ARC Triangle. The ubiquitous "R-Factor" (aka a "Briefing") has two components:

1) The BRIEFER who delivers the r-factor.

2) The BRIEFEE who receives, duplicates and thereafter complies with the briefing "data".

We have in the previous post a prime example of Hubbard "r-factoring" Scientologists that the Sea Org "Galactic" icon has talismanic power within it, which is very useful as a tool to conquer and enslave mankind on this planet. If you recall, just the mere sight of this icon immediately shatters any resistance to "command intention" by a Sea Org member!



sea-org.jpg




There are a near-infinite number of "Briefings" in Scientology. You can "brief" anyone on anything, as long as they are below you on the org board. By universal laws, the Briefer is empowered to trick anyone to do anything, by simply making up a WHOLETRACK PARABLE whose lesson must be followed if the planet is to be saved.

OT III, iteself, is nothing more than a Briefing, albeit one that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to attend.

Remember the "Briefing" a few years ago where COB "briefed" Tom Cruise, who later angrily lectured ex-wife #3 that (holding hand above head), "LRH IS UP HERE!" Then lowering his hand to scalp level: "COB IS HERE!" Then lowering his hand slightly to eye-level: "AND I AM HERE!" Tom had huge wins on that briefing that he wanted so badly to share with others, lol

People often wonder how a billionaire movie star like Tom Cruise can be so easily manipulated. The answer is "Briefings" Okay, here's how COB could make Cruise believe/do virtually ANYTHING, as long as the briefing was on proper trajectory.


COB
Hey Tom, I need to give you an urgent, very special VIP Briefing!

MR. CRUISE
Really? I'll be right over!

CUT TO: Somewhere in a super-secret underground briefing vault.

COB
Tom, remember when I gave you a gold medallion for being the
world's most dedicated Scientologist?

MR. CRUISE
Yes, sir, I do. I still regard my $25 million dollar donation that prevented
a nuclear war in the Middle East when we air-dropped over 1 billion
Arabic Way To Happiness pamphlets on terrorist training camps,
with yellow highlighter on the precept:
"Do Not Murder People Who Don't Deserve It!"

COB
That's right, Tom. But now we have something bigger
that I need your help to handle. Much bigger.

MR. CRUISE
If's its ripping other celebrities a new asshole, like I did with Brooke
Shields and Matt Lauer, I am locked-and-loaded sir, ready to roll!

COB
No, Tom,it's even bigger than that! It's something in a totally
confidential briefing that LRH gave me before he departed
for Target II back in 1986.....he saw the future and predicted
everything that would happen!! I swear to God, Tom, when
you and Scientology's only other parishioner that is qualified
get this briefing, your mind willl be blown beyond imagination
and planetary clearing will be come a reality!

MR. CRUISE
Wow!


[AFTER THE VIP BRIEFING ]



3386F5EE00000578-3571281-image-m-2_1462281926975.jpg


!!! SUCCESS STORY !!!

I can't reveal too much about the Super-OT Briefing, but I can say this.
Only two people in the world had the necessary quals to attend it.
It has to do with level of havingness--and only myself and
Bob Duggan were allowed to hear the briefing, which was
personally delivered by COB himself! Well, back in 1986 LRH
predicted that the world would fall apart and destroy
itself. And before that all the countries in the world would
attack and sue and criminally prosecute leading Scientologists
like COB and myself. LRH stated that the only handling to
guarantee mankind's eternity was if we bought an Ideal Island
where we would secure our own sovereign country! Naturally
this plan had to be kept 110% confidential until we had "pulled it
off". Well, now we have pulled it off. Both Bob Dugan and I
donated a half-billion dollars each and that was the downpayment
needed to buy the island. The deal is now closed and Scientology
owns its own country!!! We are going to join the fucking United
Nation and get our own fucking army and eventually our
own nuclear fucking
weapons!! THE WAR IS OVER! THE WAT
IS OVER! THE WAR IS OVER! THE WAR IS OVER!!!!!!!!
So anyways, I didn't believe it at first, but then COB showed me
the Sea Org galactic, double wreath icon and read me
LRH's own words explaining what it means. You see this wreath
on the left? That is LRH himself! And the reciprocal right left?
Why, that is COB himself! And do you see what is in the middle?
A star, right? Well, LRH said that star is me. A movie star! The
world's biggest movie star! I can't tell you how overjoyed I
am to find out my true destiny. This is reality people! That's
why they call it a reality factor, can you fucking DB
small beings even duplicate this shit?!!! God damn, keep
going on your bridge, people, so you can eventually get your
screwed up havingness level up enough to save entire planets!

ML,

Tom



Shouldn't Tom as an OT and a Super Power completion know about spatial references and, more importantly, correct spatial references? To be correct Tom would have to lower his hand to about waist high and say, "COB IS HERE!"
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

This ain't no shoop.

This ain't no Poe's Law.

This ain't no spoof.

This ain't no (dianetic) disco.

The shit just got real. . .



d9e68f0a96ec2e0a195f7d84ac4cb8a0.jpg


See Sally Sea Org!

Obnose Sally Sea Org handling the planet!

Spot Sally Sea Org's high-toned, super VVGIs! (very vicious glaring indicators)

Sally Sea Org is warning us her fanatical fatwa is determined to CREATE A SANE PLANET!

Sally Sea Org's Jihad makes her willing TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!

Sally Sea Org has the resources & tone 40 intention to pull it off!

Sally Sea Org is locked & loaded, ready to clear this mud ball!



What then is inside Sally Sea Org's briefcase that
will allow her to achieve her cosmic clearing mission?





THIS IS A CONTEST--FEEL FREE TO SEND IN YOUR ANSWERS!


The Grand Prize Winner will be awarded a lapel pin featuring

Sally Sea Org's resting [STRIKE]bitch[/STRIKE] ethics-presence face.
Wear it around other Scientologists and notice your compliance
stats soaring to unprecedented highest-evers!


 

guanoloco

As-Wased
..

This ain't no shoop.

This ain't no Poe's Law.

This ain't no spoof.

This ain't no (dianetic) disco.

The shit just got real. . .



d9e68f0a96ec2e0a195f7d84ac4cb8a0.jpg


See Sally Sea Org!

Obnose Sally Sea Org handling the planet!

Spot Sally Sea Org's high-toned, super VVGIs! (very vicious glaring indicators)

Sally Sea Org is warning us her fanatical fatwa is determined to CREATE A SANE PLANET!

Sally Sea Org's Jihad makes her willing TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!

Sally Sea Org has the resources & tone 40 intention to pull it off!

Sally Sea Org is locked & loaded, ready to clear this mud ball!



What then is inside Sally Sea Org's briefcase that
will allow her to achieve her cosmic clearing mission?





THIS IS A CONTEST--FEEL FREE TO SEND IN YOUR ANSWERS!


The Grand Prize Winner will be awarded a lapel pin featuring

Sally Sea Org's resting [STRIKE]bitch[/STRIKE] ethics-presence face.
Wear it around other Scientologists and notice your compliance
stats soaring to unprecedented highest-evers!



My guess is that it's a loaded Vistaril syringe just waiting and ready for Ron's lard ass!












It's time for another shot of...

VISTARIL PUPPY!!

syringe-jpg.23117

SCIENTOLOGY: STICK A SYRINGE OF VISTARIL IN IT

…Ron, it's time for your booster...​
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

. .
d9e68f0a96ec2e0a195f7d84ac4cb8a0.jpg




What then is inside Sally Sea Org's briefcase that
will allow her to achieve her cosmic clearing mission?



ANSWER: Sea Org Sally has the solution to planetary clearing right there, inside her briefcase! It's a tiny Kingston 2 terabyte flash drive!



d8ac98ea-1a8c-4abb-851c-b72e216ff284_zps5tic5mwc.jpg





SEA ORG SALLY'S SUCCESS STORY

Using the most recent technical advances, we now have
reached the point where planetary Clearing has become
a reality! The key to this is inside my briefcase in the form
of a small memory stick that can has neutralized all of the
counter-intention against Ron's goal of a Clear planet that
is coming from bitter apostates, former celebrities, former
Clears and former OTs that have blown and then squirreled
Ron's tech by suppressively using their Grade 0 powers to
communicate freely to others on any subject, especially
when they told others our sacred secrets!! But now we
have shuddered those SPs into silence with this tiny
memory stick--that contains scans of 100 million pages
of the SPs' worksheets and 100 hours of session
surveillance videos where they confess to masturbating!
If they even say one more word about "the hole" or COB
beating staff or our fair game black ops stalking and
terror campaigns against former members, we simply
upload all those docs and video footage to
Freedom Magazine, right?! With all their CI
removed, our enemies have been eliminated
and we can now move in and immediately
achieve planetary Clearing, on this planet.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
..

. .

ANSWER: Sea Org Sally has the solution to planetary clearing right there, inside her briefcase! It's a tiny Kingston 2 terabyte flash drive!



d8ac98ea-1a8c-4abb-851c-b72e216ff284_zps5tic5mwc.jpg





SEA ORG SALLY'S SUCCESS STORY

Using the most recent technical advances, we now have
reached the point where planetary Clearing has become
a reality! The key to this is inside my briefcase in the form
of a small memory stick that can has neutralized all of the
counter-intention against Ron's goal of a Clear planet that
is coming from bitter apostates, former celebrities, former
Clears and former OTs that have blown and then squirreled
Ron's tech by suppressively using their Grade 0 powers to
communicate freely to others on any subject, especially
when they told others our sacred secrets!! But now we
have shuddered those SPs into silence with this tiny
memory stick--that contains scans of 100 million pages
of the SPs' worksheets and 100 hours of session
surveillance videos where they confess to masturbating!
If they even say one more word about "the hole" or COB
beating staff or our fair game black ops stalking and
terror campaigns against former members, we simply
upload all those docs and video footage to
Freedom Magazine, right?! With all their CI
removed, our enemies have been eliminated
and we can now move in and immediately
achieve planetary Clearing, on this planet.


Shit! I wanted that lapel pin...
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Top 100 Stupid TONE 40 APPLAUSE Moments in Scientology

.

A cringey video from another thread reminded me of something that was intolerably stupid even when I was in the cult! The virtue-signaling, faux-win-celebrating, euphoric tone 40 clapping!

-----



Originally Posted by Anonycat

[video=youtube;1AoCW9Iz2xw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AoCW9Iz2xw&list=PL0A9CA9E344A6F7EB[/video]

.



Remember when Tom Cruise, the "World's Most Dedicated Scientologist," R-factored (Rage-factored) Katie Holmes about his big being altitude and rank, on this planet?

With blinkless fire in his eyes he brought his hand up above his head and announced: "LRH IS HERE!"

Then, with sinister stealth, he lowered his hand to scalp level: "COB IS HERE!"

And with fanatic finality, lowering his hand to eye level, he hissed: "AND I AM HERE!"

Mr. Cruise's chest heaved with adrenaline-fueled ferocity as he proudly contemplated his sacred role-- as one of only 3 astonishingly able "Big Beings" upon whose shoulders rested the daunting task of saving mankind on this planet!

But that's not all you get if you join the cult today, we proudly announce--



A Cult Clapping Curiosity!
"Just like the Tone Scale--but wayyyy more scientific!"



THE E-SCALE

25f34ded-e18f-45b4-bd54-f25d144a639d_zpsqf8zwwei.png



Elbow Elevation Evaluation
SCALE


"A precision methodology for instantly
determining a comrade's Degree of Dedication!"




Mr. Cruise furiously claps at nose/knows level: "MY APPLAUDING ELBOW ELEVATION IS WAY UP HERE!"

Then Cruise disdainfully glances at his entourage: "WHOEVER THAT GEEK IN THE BLACK DRESS IS, HER ELBOWS ARE NOT LIKE TOTALLY ELEVATED OR DEDICATED OR WHATEVER!"

He then dramatically accelerates his clapping rapidity of particle flow, while r-factorings everyone within listening distance: "I MEAN, LIKE, JUST LOOK AT DB DAN SHERMAN'S ELBOWS. HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE LRH BIOGRAPHER BUT HIS ELBOW ALTITUDE IS SO IMPOTENT HE CAN'T EVEN GET IT UP!"

Suddenly, the moviestar messiah notices Katie and shoots her a horrified look: "WTF?! I JUST OBNOSED THAT KATIE HAS LIKE TOTALLY DOWNWARD SPIRALING ELBOWS! SHE CAN NEVER BECOME A SECTOR-SALVAGING CULT CLAPPER OF MY UNPRECEDENTED MAGNITUDE! NOTE TO SELF--HAVE COB START TAPPING HER PHONES AND BEGIN FAIR GAME BLACK OPS. THEN FACE RIP AND KR COB FOR SABOTAGING ME BY RECRUITING A 2D TERMINAL THAT IS ACTUALLY A WRONG ITEM!"
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
OK, I can forgive a lot of stupidity, but, this *Thursday by 2 PM* shit just has GOT TO END !

25 years out & even if in all innocence someone wants something done BY Thursday ? OSOD.

Your birthday is on Thursday ? Forgetaboutit, I'll see you Friday.
When my birthday falls on a Thursday ? Friday we'll talk.

You need a ride home from the hospital on Thursday ? Call Uber.

I don't do nothing on Thursday all frickin day long !

WTF is this Thursday @ 2 insanity ? Doesn't THAT say it all ?





*Thursday by 2 PM* : Why did I finish every course, every internship& every level before *Thursday by 2 PM* ?
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.


photo from Mike Rinder's blog, that has been doing an outstanding job of covering the cult's "Volunteer Minister" hoax.


Harvey.png



Hey, planet clearers!

Something
WAS done about it!

That's why your ideal orgs and "disaster relief" booth are empty.

Guess you'll just have to handle your disaster by yourself.



( ps: kindly send Commendation Reports
to all defrocked apostates, critics & SPs!)
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
.


photo from Mike Rinder's blog, that has been doing an outstanding job of covering the cult's "Volunteer Minister" hoax.


Harvey.png



Hey, planet clearers!

Something
WAS done about it!

That's why your ideal orgs and "disaster relief" booth are empty.

Guess you'll just have to handle your disaster by yourself.



( ps: kindly send Commendation Reports
to all defrocked apostates, critics & SPs!)

Too funny !The little cult got an EZ UP complete with banners BUT the public has long since gotten wise to their scam so no more money for the cult !
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

.

GYPSIES & GYP-Ts (Gyp Thetans): Part I

From time to time I have posted the eerie parallels and striking similarities between gypsy PSYCHIC THERAPISTS ("advisors") and SCIENTOLOGY THERAPISTS ("auditors").

Like this post back in 2009:



Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax!

I was wondering WHY OH WHY would someone go someplace and cough up perfectly good money for completely superstitious mumbo jumbo?

That rang a bell....GYPSIES!


gypsy.jpg


I encountered them when I was first in business as a young dude---and quickly learned their street smart ways in order to protect my fledgling enterprise. I encountered them later when I moved to Europe and observed Gypsies up to the same thousand year old scams.

Their "Psychic" storefronts dot the globe with a continuous procession of working stiffs lining up to bring them money.

I realized just now that the "BRIEFINGS" (i.e. reg cycles) are virtually identical to GYPSY FORTUNE TELLING. In both:


  • The mark has a problem they are worried about or hope can be solved
  • The hopeless mark finds hope with a "Briefing" or "Fortune Telling" (same thing)
  • The Illumined Party "briefs" the money party, usually about what will happen in the future, good and bad.
  • The money party prays to discover what they can possibly do to avoid the bad future and only realize the good future.
  • The Illuminated Party discovers that the Troubled Party has lingering evil spirit which must be exorcised.
  • The illuminated Party advises the Troubled Party that it will take personal sacrafice in the form of something dear and valuable---like money. The Troubled party agrees.
  • The Troubled Party sacrifices the money to lift the curse (take resposibility) for making the bad future go away. It could be "case" or "psychs" or "SPs" or "everyones' eternity" or just any old demonic annoyance.
  • When it is all said and done the Illuminated Party (Registrar or Gypsy) has the money and the Troubled Party does not. Typically the Troubled Party already begins to voice relief (or give huge wins) on just the fact of giving the money. (see video promos of Scn who gave mightily to IAS, Ideal Orgs, etc.)
  • The Troubled Party still has the trouble. If they complain, they are told their sacrifice was judged insufficient and/or that the magnitude of evil is far greater than anyone suspected. They must sacrifice even more. Much more.
  • The Troubled party, still guilty and troubled, digs even deeper for money they cannot afford to lose and returns for another briefing/reading.
  • The briefings/readings continue until the Trouble Party is out of money.

At these Scientology "briefings" the future is foretold. The message is always the same. "Evil & terrible things are afoot and there is precious little time to prevent a tragedy in your life!"

The mark buys it every time. If they show up for the briefings (one after another) they are already evidencing that they are paralyzed with superstition. It is a primitive ritual where both parties go thru a pre-ordained rite in order to banish evil spirits (bts, psychs, whatever...)

The script always end in jubilation (see the recent celeb-endorsement promo film on Ideal Orgs). Everyone gets saved.

Okay, fine people, consider yourself BRIEFED! :roflmao:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

.


GYPSIES & GYP-Ts
(Gyp Thetans): Part II


From today's newspaper. . . See what I mean? LOL



dm_com_29.png



Jersey Shore psychic and her son scammed an elderly man into paying $147,000 for treatment to rid him of evil spirits.

-- The victim visited psychic Sally Wando in New Jersey this month.

-- He was offered treatments to cleanse his soul and allow him to live in peace.

-- His first visit coast $5,000 but Wando recommended a 14 step program that
would
cost $10,500 per step.

-- Police say Wando used information she had learned about the man's unpleasant childhood to make him believe she could help him. He was told to wire transfer the $147,000 to her son's (Frank Marco) car business.


A New Jersey psychic and her son are accused of cheating an elderly man out of more than $147,000 for treatment they said would rid him of evil spirits.

The victim had visited Sally 'Kim' Wando at Village Psychic in Smithville, New Jersey earlier this month where he was offered treatments to cleanse his soul and allow him to live in peace.

He told police that the first visit to the psychic cost him $5,000 but after additional visits Wando had recommended a 14 step Chakra program that would cost $10,500 per step.



43A6DE0300000578-4830530-image-m-57_1503938120024.jpg




+3​
43A6DE0700000578-4830530-image-a-58_1503938136178.jpg
+3​
Wando allegedly told the man he had eight evil spirits that only she could eradicate via the 14 step program.

Police say Wando used information she had learned about the man's 'unpleasant childhood' to make him believe she could bring him relief.

She allegedly told him he would endure more torment in his life and the afterlife if he refused to complete the program.

The victim ultimately agreed and was allegedly told to transfer $147,000 from his checking account to the psychic's 24-year-old son Frank Marco's car business, Frank's Classic Carz.

Police said Wando told the victim not to tell anyone about the arrangement or risk more evil spirits.

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The hilarious part of all this is that if a Scientology OT read this post, they would be both confused and aghast. Probably because they were unable to obnose any similarities at all between PSYCHICS and SCIENTOLOGISTS. LOL

Seriously how is the "PSYCHIC ADVISOR" scam different in any way?! (besides being less expensive for the same OT results/abilities)
 
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cleared cannibal

Silver Meritorious Patron
If you really want to help. How much of that money will go for blankets. LOL


VM DISASTER RELIEF IN THE WAKE OF HURRICANE HARVEY
Hurricane Harvey made landfall in Texas on 25 August at 11pm. As a category 4 hurricane with 130 miles per hour winds (209 kilometers per hour), this is the strongest storm to hit Texas in over 50 years.

An IAS emergency grant was immediately provided to deploy hundreds of Volunteer Ministers to assist in the disaster response.

Hurricane Harvey has already caused record rainfall, damaging neighborhoods and causing life-threatening flooding.

The storm has also flooded parts of Houston, the largest city in Texas. Torrential rains are expected to continue for several more days.

In immediate response, a cavalcade of 14 VM vans and trucks are bringing in vitally needed supplies for emergency shelters. This includes three larger trucks able to navigate the heavier flood zones due to their size.

VM headquarters have been set up in Austin, Texas, with 130 volunteers on the ground providing help. VMs have come from all over the USA including as far as Los Angeles, New York and Tampa. Also on location is the world-renowned search and rescue team Los Topos who deployed to Rockport, Texas, where the hurricane made landfall.
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Volunteer Ministers arrive to an emergency shelter set up in the Houston Convention Center and begin distributing supplies
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The VMs further deployed to shelters including the largest one in Houston with nine-thousand men, women and children who have been forced from their homes. One VM on site reported the shelter he was at received 2,000 more arrivals overnight.

Among the requested items the VMs are providing are hygiene kits, towels and bedding, as well as cribs, baby formula and supplies.

VMs are additionally bringing one-on-one assistance to those in need.

Calls have been flooding in to the VM International Hotline from Scientologists and non-Scientologists alike, offering help and asking to volunteer.

With continued IAS support, the next 100 VMs are already enroute, with more vehicles being scheduled and loaded to bring further supplies and volunteers to help in this disaster.

If you would like to help as a Volunteer Minister, please contact the International Scientology Headquarters in Los Angeles at:

1-800 HELP-4-YU or +1(323) 960 1949.

Everyone else can help by making a donation to the IAS today.
Donate today. Volunteer Minister disaster response is made possible only through your support of the IAS. It is one of the vital programs funded by IAS grants. Make a donation today.
Data provided by the Church of Scientology International.
© 20‌17 IASA. All Rights Reserved. Scientology, the Scientology cross (rounded) and the Scientology Volunteer Ministers symbol are trademarks and service marks owned by Religious Technology Center. "Scientologist" is a collective membership mark designating members of the affiliated churches and missions of Scientology. IAS Administrations is a nonprofit organization contracted to provide services to the members of the IAS. #4073-5

Mailed from 6331 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90028
If you wish to be taken off this mailing list, please write to the address below:

IAS Administrations
1311 N. New Hampshire Ave
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.


If you really want to help.

How much of that money will go for blankets. LOL



VM DISASTER RELIEF IN THE WAKE OF HURRICANE HARVEY
Hurricane Harvey made landfall in Texas on 25 August at 11pm. As a category 4 hurricane with 130 miles per hour winds (209 kilometers per hour), this is the strongest storm to hit Texas in over 50 years.

An IAS emergency grant was immediately provided to deploy hundreds of Volunteer Ministers to assist in the disaster response.

Hurricane Harvey has already caused record rainfall, damaging neighborhoods and causing life-threatening flooding.

The storm has also flooded parts of Houston, the largest city in Texas. Torrential rains are expected to continue for several more days.

In immediate response, a cavalcade of 14 VM vans and trucks are bringing in vitally needed supplies for emergency shelters. This includes three larger trucks able to navigate the heavier flood zones due to their size.

VM headquarters have been set up in Austin, Texas, with 130 volunteers on the ground providing help. VMs have come from all over the USA including as far as Los Angeles, New York and Tampa. Also on location is the world-renowned search and rescue team Los Topos who deployed to Rockport, Texas, where the hurricane made landfall.
har_r1.png
Volunteer Ministers arrive to an emergency shelter set up in the Houston Convention Center and begin distributing supplies
har_r2.png
The VMs further deployed to shelters including the largest one in Houston with nine-thousand men, women and children who have been forced from their homes. One VM on site reported the shelter he was at received 2,000 more arrivals overnight.

Among the requested items the VMs are providing are hygiene kits, towels and bedding, as well as cribs, baby formula and supplies.

VMs are additionally bringing one-on-one assistance to those in need.

Calls have been flooding in to the VM International Hotline from Scientologists and non-Scientologists alike, offering help and asking to volunteer.

With continued IAS support, the next 100 VMs are already enroute, with more vehicles being scheduled and loaded to bring further supplies and volunteers to help in this disaster.

If you would like to help as a Volunteer Minister, please contact the International Scientology Headquarters in Los Angeles at:

1-800 HELP-4-YU or +1(323) 960 1949.

Everyone else can help by making a donation to the IAS today.
Donate today. Volunteer Minister disaster response is made possible only through your support of the IAS. It is one of the vital programs funded by IAS grants. Make a donation today.
Data provided by the Church of Scientology International.
© 20‌17 IASA. All Rights Reserved. Scientology, the Scientology cross (rounded) and the Scientology Volunteer Ministers symbol are trademarks and service marks owned by Religious Technology Center. "Scientologist" is a collective membership mark designating members of the affiliated churches and missions of Scientology. IAS Administrations is a nonprofit organization contracted to provide services to the members of the IAS. #4073-5

Mailed from 6331 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90028
If you wish to be taken off this mailing list, please write to the address below:

IAS Administrations
1311 N. New Hampshire Ave



IAS, the International Association of Scammers are hard at work!

Gratuitous natter to follow:

Here is a quote from their generality-laden, chest-thumping, self-congratulatory PR caper: "One VM on site reported the shelter he was at received 2,000 more arrivals overnight." This is entirely meaningless. Let me help the COS (Crimewave of Scientology) write the copy for their next humanitarian crusade. They don't even have to travel anywhere to achieve greatness!

"One VM on site reported that the medical clinic he was at treated 2000 homeless patients!" This could be "achieved" when a VM living in Los Angeles took a bus downtown and sat for a bit in the waiting room of a free clinic that treats homeless people. Nothing to do with him/her or the IAS. But they were "at" the clinic (for 5 minutes) and the clinic did see 2000 patients that month.

The slick promo contains countless other bits of dark rhetorical legerdemain, this next one being a fine example:

"Everyone else can help by making a donation to the IAS today."

Really? How entirely stupid is that? A hurricane devastates wogs in Texas. So Scientologists should donate more money to the IAS.

The IAS!?!

That's the International Association of Scientologists! Why in the world would anyone wanting to help wogs in Texas donate money to Scientologists! That makes no sense whatsoever, considering that the Int'l Association of SCIENTOLOGISTS uses its money to benefit---SCIENTOLOGY!

When in the 67 year history of Scientology has it ever donated its cash to wogs? Never.

So, recapping: Wogs are in desperate need. So, give a lying, treacherous cult money, even though it has BILLIONS of dollars of unused cash in its bank accounts.

How completely insane is it for people to donate money to SCIENTOLOGISTS in order to help WOGS?

Scientologists get the money?! And then what? ("Just trust us, we know what to do with the money")

There is not even any slightest connection between the two concepts. In Scientology (like orders, Com Evs, Declares and responsibility) never flow UP the command channel, only down. Same with money. It never flows from upstat IAS Scientologists down to downstat DB wogs.

Never.

Only a Scientologist could clay demo this demented, delusory "Big Lie" deception!
 
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Anonycat

Crusader
.
<Snip>

"Everyone else can help by making a donation to the IAS today."

That would be "out-exchange", which is "off-source". In English rather than cultspeak, donating money, goods or services, is in direct violation of Hubbard's strict "Scripture"!

The IAS is an out-exchange machine! They pressure scientology clients to give them millions! Tax exempt religions are REQUIRED by law, to engage in charitable work. They NEVER have!

https://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?keyword_list=scientology&bay=search.results
 

cleared cannibal

Silver Meritorious Patron
This was really the wrong place for this, it isn't in the least funny.

People are in real need and even the tapped out public Scn care . The cult is taking much needed resources from people in desperate need. Talk about lack of compassion.
 

Anonycat

Crusader
This was really the wrong place for this, it isn't in the least funny.

People are in real need and even the tapped out public Scn care . The cult is taking much needed resources from people in desperate need. Talk about lack of compassion.

Donations:



City and County Officials Urge People to Donate to Hurricane Relief Fund

August 29, 2017


HOUSTON – In the wake of the devastating effects of Hurricane Harvey, individuals may want to donate to help affected residents. Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner and Harris County Judge Ed Emmett are urging people who wish help affected residents to donate money to recognized charities that are currently engaged in the response and recovery.


After receiving an overwhelming number of inquiries from citizens and companies who want to help, Mayor Sylvester Turner and County Judge Ed Emmett have established the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund that will accept tax deductible flood relief donations for victims that have been affected by the recent floods.


To donate, vist:
ghcf.org/hurricane-relief The fund will be housed at the Greater Houston Community Foundation, a 501(c)(3) public charity.

While some may feel compelled to donate specific household items to disaster survivors, please remember that this may create a burden on responding agencies, as they must collect, sort, clean, and distribute items.

The City and County have activated a joint donations management program with various non-profit agencies to manage requests. A phone line has been established by the Houston Food Bank to handle questions about donations.


Residents, organizations, companies and groups may call:
(800) 924-5985 between the hours of 9:00am to 5:00pm Monday through Friday to ask questions about making donations.

___________________________________________________________________

Sylvester Turner, Mayor of Houston is celebrating Houston's Birthday.



HAPPY 181st BIRTHDAY, HOUSTON! Give Houston the best birthday gift: DONATE to our #Harvey relief and recovery efforts!
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To donate, visit: ghcf.org/hurricane-relief
Residents, organizations, companies and groups may call: (800) 924-5985
More info here:
http://www.houstonemergency.org/city-and-county-officials-…/
 
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