HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.
That reminds me of that idiotic idiom!!!
Hubbard used it ad nauseum in his marketing scams to sell messianic miracles & paranormal powers.
Often "Dr" Hubbard doubled-down on that copywriting hook, saying things like:
It has great significance to Scientologists--and especially PCs--to have "the being" handled. Let's eavesdrop, shall we, on Ideal Scientologist Billy Blowdown. . .
DISCLAIMER: About once or twice a year, we let two Scientologists 'get in com' and then we just step band and we let 'em talk. No filters. No cut com. No 8C to get to the point. We just......(as I say)......let 'em talk, lol. So, it might go short and it might go long. Way long. Ya never know what'll happen when planet-clearers use their com cycle tech, on this planet! the following conversation is part of the full length video now being sold in church of hoaxology bookstores everywhere. order the full 7 hour unedited version today today for only $99.99! call now: 1-800-666-ITSA and order your copy of "WHEN SCIENTOLOGISTS GO WILD!"
.
Free bonus Buddhist brush art was added at no additional cost to you--the being--in order to add spiritual credibility & gravitas to this post.
That reminds me of that idiotic idiom!!!
"You--the being"
Hubbard used it ad nauseum in his marketing scams to sell messianic miracles & paranormal powers.
Often "Dr" Hubbard doubled-down on that copywriting hook, saying things like:
"This rundown is tailor-made to handle you the being.
It has great significance to Scientologists--and especially PCs--to have "the being" handled. Let's eavesdrop, shall we, on Ideal Scientologist Billy Blowdown. . .
DISCLAIMER: About once or twice a year, we let two Scientologists 'get in com' and then we just step band and we let 'em talk. No filters. No cut com. No 8C to get to the point. We just......(as I say)......let 'em talk, lol. So, it might go short and it might go long. Way long. Ya never know what'll happen when planet-clearers use their com cycle tech, on this planet! the following conversation is part of the full length video now being sold in church of hoaxology bookstores everywhere. order the full 7 hour unedited version today today for only $99.99! call now: 1-800-666-ITSA and order your copy of "WHEN SCIENTOLOGISTS GO WILD!"
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Hey, I just attested to OT VII!
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wow! That's so theta. I just
attested go Grade I!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
You good, but.....
you really need to get on the level!
SCIENTOLOGIST
Yeah, I'd love to do that. I just don't have the
money. It's another $450,000 from Grade I up to Solo Nots.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
I want to select you as your FSM to do your entire
bridge up through OT VII!
SCIENTOLOGIST
(apathetically)
Um...okay.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Now I am going to help you apply Ron's tech to get
the MEST money particles you need.
SCIENTOLOGIST
(soaring uptone!)
OMG! Really! You can do that??!!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Of course, LOL.
It's rather simple, LOL.
Obviously you're here at Flag because you
are amongst the elite!
SCIENTOLOGIST
The elite?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yes, Ron says that! You are in the top
one-percent of the top one-percent of the
top two-and-a half-percenters. Or something like that.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wait, aren't the two-and-a-half-percenters the SPs?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
don't necessarily have total certainty
on the percentages. Hey, I said I was OT VII, total cause over
life, but I still may have some wholetrack charge on math or whatever.
But we are handling you, so let's not Q&A. You just attested to
Grade I, problems release right?
SCIENTOLOGIST
Um, yes.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
And you just attested to the ability to spot the source
of any problem and make it vanish---right?
SCIENTOLOGIST
Um, yes.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well then, you can get the $450,000!
SCIENTOLOGIST
Whuttttttttttt?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Just use your new ability. Spot the
source of your problem and make it vanish.
SCIENTOLOGIST
I did spot the source of my problem.
I don't have enough money.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
I see. Well, that's no problem either!
We'll just use the LRH remedy for that!
SCIENTOLOGIST
OMG, really? Ron discovered the remedy
for not having a half-million dollars?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
LOL. Hey, it's Ron we are talkin' about! LOL
So, the next step is this command. "So, how
COULD you get $450,000?"
SCIENTOLOGIST
That's it?!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
LOL, simple right? LOL
SCIENTOLOGIST
I tried that already. I have no
idea how to get $450,000.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Oh, I see. . .
Well, that's not a problem either
We'll just apply Ron's tech. So, I'll
give you this r-factor: You nee
to make it go right!
SCIENTOLOGIST
And?????????????
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yeah, just do that, then your money problems
are gone! Just make it go right!
SCIENTOLOGIST
I tried that already, it didn't work.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Um, okay. I see your ruin is still not handled. Ron says
that until you get on your OT levels you are still a kind
of degraded being. Too bad you can't get on OT VII, because
that level handles you the being! Then you wouldn't have
any problem paying for OT VII!
SCIENTOLOGIST
I don't know about that. I also did L-10 and Ron said it is
a series of tailor made actions that really handle you the being.
But it didn't really handle me the being. I borrowed $100,000
for that and now I'm kinda broke and kinda screwed.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
That's totally not true. If you did L-10, it handled you the being!
If you are broke that is not you the being. That is you the money.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Don't take this wrong, but WTF are you the being talking about?!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
I'm talking about you the being.
SCIENTOLOGIST
What.The.Fuck.does that even mean?!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
It means you the being.
SCIENTOLOGIST
I don't get it!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
You the being!
You know---you the being--on this planet ?
SCIENTOLOGIST
Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Now I get it!
EXPLANTION: Scientology is a joke. The punchline is always an idiotic idiom. If the idiom doesn't make any sense, Scientology can explain it to you with another idiom of equal or greater idiocy. Hey, I just attested to OT VII!
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wow! That's so theta. I just
attested go Grade I!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
You good, but.....
you really need to get on the level!
SCIENTOLOGIST
Yeah, I'd love to do that. I just don't have the
money. It's another $450,000 from Grade I up to Solo Nots.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
I want to select you as your FSM to do your entire
bridge up through OT VII!
SCIENTOLOGIST
(apathetically)
Um...okay.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Now I am going to help you apply Ron's tech to get
the MEST money particles you need.
SCIENTOLOGIST
(soaring uptone!)
OMG! Really! You can do that??!!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Of course, LOL.
It's rather simple, LOL.
Obviously you're here at Flag because you
are amongst the elite!
SCIENTOLOGIST
The elite?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yes, Ron says that! You are in the top
one-percent of the top one-percent of the
top two-and-a half-percenters. Or something like that.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wait, aren't the two-and-a-half-percenters the SPs?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
don't necessarily have total certainty
on the percentages. Hey, I said I was OT VII, total cause over
life, but I still may have some wholetrack charge on math or whatever.
But we are handling you, so let's not Q&A. You just attested to
Grade I, problems release right?
SCIENTOLOGIST
Um, yes.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
And you just attested to the ability to spot the source
of any problem and make it vanish---right?
SCIENTOLOGIST
Um, yes.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well then, you can get the $450,000!
SCIENTOLOGIST
Whuttttttttttt?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Just use your new ability. Spot the
source of your problem and make it vanish.
SCIENTOLOGIST
I did spot the source of my problem.
I don't have enough money.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
I see. Well, that's no problem either!
We'll just use the LRH remedy for that!
SCIENTOLOGIST
OMG, really? Ron discovered the remedy
for not having a half-million dollars?
BILLY BLOWDOWN
LOL. Hey, it's Ron we are talkin' about! LOL
So, the next step is this command. "So, how
COULD you get $450,000?"
SCIENTOLOGIST
That's it?!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
LOL, simple right? LOL
SCIENTOLOGIST
I tried that already. I have no
idea how to get $450,000.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Oh, I see. . .
Well, that's not a problem either
We'll just apply Ron's tech. So, I'll
give you this r-factor: You nee
to make it go right!
SCIENTOLOGIST
And?????????????
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yeah, just do that, then your money problems
are gone! Just make it go right!
SCIENTOLOGIST
I tried that already, it didn't work.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
Um, okay. I see your ruin is still not handled. Ron says
that until you get on your OT levels you are still a kind
of degraded being. Too bad you can't get on OT VII, because
that level handles you the being! Then you wouldn't have
any problem paying for OT VII!
SCIENTOLOGIST
I don't know about that. I also did L-10 and Ron said it is
a series of tailor made actions that really handle you the being.
But it didn't really handle me the being. I borrowed $100,000
for that and now I'm kinda broke and kinda screwed.
BILLY BLOWDOWN
That's totally not true. If you did L-10, it handled you the being!
If you are broke that is not you the being. That is you the money.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Don't take this wrong, but WTF are you the being talking about?!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
I'm talking about you the being.
SCIENTOLOGIST
What.The.Fuck.does that even mean?!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
It means you the being.
SCIENTOLOGIST
I don't get it!
BILLY BLOWDOWN
You the being!
You know---you the being--on this planet ?
SCIENTOLOGIST
Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Now I get it!
.