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The David Miscavige Mag

Apparently taking a page from Oprah Winfrey, Dear Leader has commissioned his own magazine “David Miscavige.” The difference is, of course, that Oprah’s magazine is actually about things other than Oprah. This would appear to be more like something published by the PDRK PR team about Kim Jong-un than a magazine simply bearing someone’s[.......]

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ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
. . .
The Don Hubbard Mag

David isn't the only one who's commissioning a hagiography nowadays. Seems like our own Don Hubbard
is in the game now with his new magazine retrospective. I haven't received my copy yet, so I can't tell you
what's in it. Maybe someone else here has gotten a copy already and can do a review.

DonHMag.jpg

:evillaugh:
 

TheOriginalBigBlue

Gold Meritorious Patron
Ambiguous droning prose hauntingly familiar - did Sherman write this?

A prelude to "David Miscavige Life Exhibition" coming soon to Hollywood?

Will it include dioramas or life sized replica and re-enactment of his defining accomplishments:

Destroying all evidence of Hubbard's financial and managerial control of the organization after the 1977 FBI raids.

The notorious 1982 Mission Holders Conference and the thuggish International Finance Police.

Navigating the vulnerable Church through that inconvenient and perilous Lisa McPherson affair.

Creation of The SP Hole and senior staff joyfully playing Musical Chairs to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Perhaps a section on his wife, Shelly featuring a recap on that ugly Leah Remini disappearance controversy or even a public appearance to show us that she is still alive, in good health and free to do as she pleases without any handlers.

The uniquely Scientological PR optics success of the Squirrel Busters caper?

Will it feature constant replay of this video of Miscavige explaining to Ted Koppel how the Xenu mythology with the alien DC-8s is comparable to the Virgin Mary's birth of Jesus at 14:00? Say, wasn't this Miscavige's last TV interview?


Videos of warm family reunions with his dad and siblings and copies of "Ruthless" for sale in the bookshop?
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
. . .
The Don Hubbard Mag

David isn't the only one who's commissioning a hagiography nowadays. Seems like our own Don Hubbard
is in the game now with his new magazine retrospective. I haven't received my copy yet, so I can't tell you
what's in it. Maybe someone else here has gotten a copy already and can do a review.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

...been traveling, sleep-deprived, semi-conscious.

Than I just peeked in at ESMB and saw the Miscavige magazine and it was too horrid to not read about, LOL.

About to sign off and go to dreamland, but then saw the Don Hubbard magazine and instantly started laughing aloud. OMG that was funny, actually woke me out of my somnambulistic slumber. Damn! Now I don't feel tired, why did you do that? LOL LOL LOL
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
. . .
Originally posted by IL2L

The Don Hubbard Mag. . .
David isn't the only one who's commissioning a hagiography nowadays. Seems like our own Don Hubbard is in the game now with his new magazine retrospective. I haven't received my copy yet, so I can't tell you what's in it. Maybe someone else here has gotten a copy already and can do a review.​


Don is similar to COB in that he is the ecclesiastical leader of the Church of Hoaxology.

Miscavige is further down the command channel as he is merely the e-sleazy-astical leader of the COS (Crimewave of Scientology).

By the way, to answer your question. . .


Originally Posted by Don Hubbard

Thanks everyone for all the huge unprecedented wins and success stories that you sent me about my new "DON MAGAZINE".

I believe that these phenomenal & paranormal wins people are having on my magazine are proof of OT; take a peek at the rave reviews I am getting:

"...totally handled the ruin I came in Scientology to handle decades earlier!"
"Upon reading just the table of contents on DonMag[sup]tm[/sup], I experienced more case gain than all of my previous Bridge combined!"
It that is not proof of the miraculous, I don't know what is---considering that people are having these mindblowing wins before we even published or even wrote the first copy. Hey, we're thinking of issue number 1 being called "DON THE CHILD PRODIGY" chronicling Don's early life as a six year old boy, traveling through Asia on his own and giving spiritual enlightenment seminars to all of the Buddhist minks. So far, the surveys indicate that people absolutely love hearing about the 6 year old Don using judo to beat the hell out of some a gang of Tibetan bikers who knocked over his Harley and started pouring beer on it.

ML,

Don Hubbard
Founder
Church Of Hoaxology Int'l
 
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Wilbur

Patron Meritorious
When I was in the church, I remember a rumour going around that Miscavige was OTXIII (or something like that). Apparently, one ability gained on OTXIII was the ability to perceive another person's withholds. To back it up, there was an anecdote about Miscavige arriving at St. Hill for an event, seeing the then Commanding Officer of Saint Hill Foundation somewhere around the castle, going straight up to him, demanding "What are you withholding?" and having the CO SHF break down and confess that he was having an extra-marital affair. My understanding was that the CO-being-busted bit was actually not spurious.

It reminds me of another rumour that was on some taped L's briefing, where it was stated that the L's came out of LRH's research into OT 22.

I wonder whether the new magazine will have similar amazing OT feats. You've got to admit it: single-handedly crashing the church into the ground in two decades takes a certain amount of 'make it go right'.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
When I was in the church, I remember a rumour going around that Miscavige was OTXIII (or something like that). Apparently, one ability gained on OTXIII was the ability to perceive another person's withholds. To back it up, there was an anecdote about Miscavige arriving at St. Hill for an event, seeing the then Commanding Officer of Saint Hill Foundation somewhere around the castle, going straight up to him, demanding "What are you withholding?" and having the CO SHF break down and confess that he was having an extra-marital affair. My understanding was that the CO-being-busted bit was actually not spurious.

It reminds me of another rumour that was on some taped L's briefing, where it was stated that the L's came out of LRH's research into OT 22.

I wonder whether the new magazine will have similar amazing OT feats. You've got to admit it: single-handedly crashing the church into the ground in two decades takes a certain amount of 'make it go right'.
LOL

I love tales of advanced (and very mysterious, yet powerful) OT levels that have not been released.

Scientology abounds with intentionally prolifterated "hidden data lines" that refer to things not published nor officially part of the cult's "holy scripture". Th cult uses these mythological tales as propaganda to cause desire, fear or whatever emotion they are trying to produce in their pathetically duped parishioners.

Speaking about or simply alluding to yet-unreleased OT levels is an INSTANT STATUS GRABBER. I wasn't at the event where they announced "Ron unexpectedly dropped dead, but hey it's really a huge win!"---but I saw that video where Pat Broeker gleefully giggled his way through a tortured tale of a dozen or more OT levels that he (Pat, the "loyal officer") knew all about. Then thetan-thug Miscavige stared blinklessly into the crowd and assured them that Ron was working on an OT level so advanced it was beyond anything we have ever dreamed of! Thus, Miscavige must have known what was on that level Ron was doing, right? Or he couldn't have told us (knowingly) about how amazing it is.

Because they wouldn't just make shit up, right? They must have ....KNOWN, lol.

Anyways, Scientologists are credulous fools and easy marks for the guru snipers atop the command channel. . .

OT BOB
Hey, I noticed you have been sniffling and coughing and sneezing,
you really need to go to Ethics and find out what your out-ethics
situation is that is causing you to rollercoaster and get sick.

OT BILLY
No, no, no. LOL, I am really winning! This body stuff is just
confusion blowing off because I recently attested to OT III and
when you put order into your universe, all the other stuff blows off.

OT BOB
I don't know, you have been sick so often, you must be PTS to
an SP. You really need to go to Ethics and find your SP, and then
write up all your crimes against that SP that made you go effect.

OT BILLY
No, no, no. LOL, I am just pulling in my next level, OT IV, because
my perception is so high. Yeah, I am pulling in confidential material
from really high up the Bridge. You really need to do your next
OT level because your finances are so bad I heard you can't even
buy a Patron status for your wife and kids.

OT BOB
No, no, no. I am doing fantastic. My MEST finance lines are enturbulated
because I am now operating in the THETA universe where I am totally
flourishing and prospering.

OT BILLY
But wasn't your car just repossessed and your house foreclosed?
And didn't you just retain a bankruptcy attorney?

OT BOB
No, no, no, that's all wrong. I have been doing an extension course
on postulates and I pulled in material from OT 18.

OT BILLY
Wuttttt? OT 18? That's not even released yet.

OT BOB
Yeah, I know, it's super confidential and super powerful. You
can't believe how high my perception is to pick up material
from OT 18! You are only pulling in material from OT4-- I mean,
it's okay and everything---but man, wait until you find out what's
up there in the real upper OT levels like OT 18! You're gonna love it!

OT BILLY
You know what's on OT 18?! You got a confidential briefing?

OT BOB
No, something better, knowingness. By the way if you think OT 18
is amazing, wait until you start bumping into OT 23!!! LOL. It's going
to kick your ass! It's totally OT and totally cause and totally miraculous.
By the way, can you flow me some MEST money, I've got to catch the bus
downtown to pick up my MEST food stamps, on this planet.​
 
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DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
Wouldn't this would be akin to becoming an avid porn collector of hardcore XXX material featuring Pee Wee Herman? :eek:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Little known fact: Waaay back on the track Don Hubbard invented poetry.
lol lol

If you read Issue #29 of DonMagazine ("Don the Inventor") you will also be pleased to learn that quite in addition to poetry, way back at the beginning of the time track Don also invented:

-- WORDS
-- SENTENCES​
-- DICTIONARIES​
-- CLAY​
-- IDEAS (yes, before Don invented it, nobody ever had an idea)​
-- INVENTIONS (Don was the first being to come up the idea of coming up with the idea)​
.
 

Dave B.

Maximus Ultimus Mostimus
lol lol

If you read Issue #29 of DonMagazine ("Don the Inventor") you will also be pleased to learn that quite in addition to poetry, way back at the beginning of the time track Don also invented:

-- WORDS
-- SENTENCES​
-- DICTIONARIES​
-- CLAY​
-- IDEAS (yes, before Don invented it, nobody ever had an idea)​
-- INVENTIONS (Don was the first being to come up the idea of coming up with the idea)​
.

Don's IDEAS idea was the Technical Innovation of 389,270,175,377,286,427 years ago! As soon as we read the bulletin we all slapped our foreheads and said, "why didn't we think of that!"
 

Cat's Squirrel

Gold Meritorious Patron
Right! In an alternate universe Miscavige really made Scientology the world's coolest religion.

Miscavige is only in the position he's in because no one in the Scientology sphere of orbit, and certainly no one at the top, has any realistic idea of what a genuinely spiritual person is like. He can get away with his hard-arsed "slappy" routine because no one knows enough to call him on it.

I sometimes wonder if this was the real reason behind Hubbard's prohibition against "mixing practices" (over and above the understandable desire of C/Ses not to compromise an actual auditing cycle) - to ensure that people exposed to the Scn world had no legitimate basis for comparison.

Just as an example, a while back I went to a weekend meditation workshop led by Eddie and Debbie Shapiro. Eddie turned out to be a big, warm smiley New York Jewish guy and, when I told him at his stall afterwards that money was an issue for me, he told me I could have two of his tapes (which I still have) for the price of one (and he gave me a hug as well). Imagine that in a Scientology org, or Miscavige himself doing that.
 
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Dave B.

Maximus Ultimus Mostimus
My feeble attempt to stay on topic:

.......... I'm having difficulty processing the bizarre feeling of unreality that overtakes me when I try to wrap my wits around the idea of a Miscavige magazine. It's something so wrong that it shouldn't exist at all. Like a strange bottom dwelling sea creature that scientists have photographed that is so weird-looking it strains credulity. Like seeing a Pterodactyl flying over Manhatten......
 

Wilbur

Patron Meritorious
My feeble attempt to stay on topic:

.......... I'm having difficulty processing the bizarre feeling of unreality that overtakes me when I try to wrap my wits around the idea of a Miscavige magazine. It's something so wrong that it shouldn't exist at all. Like a strange bottom dwelling sea creature that scientists have photographed that is so weird-looking it strains credulity. Like seeing a Pterodactyl flying over Manhatten......
Well, 'they say' (see, that proves I'm an SP) that the best way to get rid of a bad law is to enforce it rigorously.
 

TheOriginalBigBlue

Gold Meritorious Patron
Miscavige is only in the position he's in because no one in the Scientology sphere of orbit, and certainly no one at the top, has any realistic idea of what a genuinely spiritual person is like. He can get away with his hard-arsed "slappy" routine because no one knows enough to call him on it.

I sometimes wonder if this was the real reason behind Hubbard's prohibition against "mixing practices" (over and above the understandable desire of C/Ses not to compromise an actual auditing cycle) - to ensure that people exposed to the Scn world had no legitimate basis for comparison.

Just as an example, a while back I went to a weekend meditation workshop led by Eddie and Debbie Shapiro. Eddie turned out to be a big, warm smiley New York Jewish guy and, when I told him at his stall afterwards that money was an issue for me, he told me I could have two of his tapes (which I still have) for the price of one (and he gave me a hug as well). Imagine that in a Scientology org, or Miscavige himself doing that.
One of the things that makes Scientology so deceptive is often the people who get into it have a sincere interest in understanding the mind or spirituality or psychology by any other name, and there will be some of these people who would do well in the field in general because of this interest and natural abilities. When I hear of people telling of their Scientology wins that they insist have helped them in life I think of this. How much of that was due to having been helped by one of these people in spite of the damaging effects of Scientology and Hubbard's madness?

Even in Hubbard's twisted mind he must have been aware of this and wanted to capitalize on it. But if you don't understand this or appreciate it even to manipulate it for your own dark purposes then what does that leave? It leaves the old standbys of raw intimidation, coercion and force.

One of the lingering benefits of Scientology is being able to dissect the insanity of Scientology with Scientology. We got into it because there was something about it that made sense to us, it clicked with a previously existing interest or idea. LRH knew this so he designed it to offer something for everybody. Love is good, love is bad, hope is good, hope is bad.

From where I am sitting it looks like Miscavige took to heart this rant by Hubbard about the use of “Force”. Force is good, force is bad, or…force is very very good. This much of it seems he understands. It would also be consistent with Aleister Crowley's "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under will." The more I know about Crowley, the more I see it in Scientology. The ultimate goal of Scientology is to be able to create universes at will, both physical and in a theta sense. Eventually these universes with complete self-determinism have to coexist with other completely self-determined universes so what do you do? Negotiate for a respectful co-existence or resort to force? Hubbard laid down the equivalent to Crowley's law with KSW. KSW is force, the Ethics Tech is force, the Guardian's Office and OSA advices on handling opposition are force - no other reality is acceptable, no other personal integrity is acceptable.

Scientology under DM is Scientology stripped of it's thin social veneer - now it's just force.

https://tonyortega.org/2018/01/04/e...hubbard-like-he-had-the-universe-figured-out/

(snipped)

This is a force universe. And don’t EVER make a mistake about that. And if it was the only universe there was, God help all of us! It’s built on trickery, and it’s built on force.

Every single item that you see in a store is condensed energy, existing in space. Every single brick that you see out on the street is a condensation of energy. Any action you see on the part of a MEST object is some manifestation of force at work in this universe. And don’t think for a moment that a low scale action in this universe will be greeted by anything but force.

You can protest, reason, agree, grovel, beg, it does not matter. Force is there, heavily and solidly, to greet the BEST of intentions to help. This universe does not care anything for brightness, for aesthetics. You could go out and make the prettiest planet that ever existed in this whole universe, solely by your hard work, and application and genius. And the force that is this universe could simply roll it up and blow it away. Without the least tremor.

The strong man who uses force, fort main, as his sole criteria of existence is nothing but a brute. Nevertheless, the strong man who is able to make something in this universe must be able to protect it. Because this universe doesn’t care.

That’s what breaks the heart of Man — it doesn’t care. No matter what he does for anybody, no matter how much he tries to help, in this universe with MEST force on the loose, and relatively uncontrolled, it makes no difference whatsoever. It is that remorselessness, that crushing capability without discernment as to a finer quality, that breaks him at last.

He thinks in this universe there ought to be such things as love, and goodness, and he thinks these things ought to repay. And you find somebody working himself to the bone, trying to be a good guy, trying to be a straight guy. What will you find around him? Pitfalls waiting for his tiniest error. He will go crashing down.

And who will push him? The people he helped the most. It’s a great universe. It is so debased and degraded, really, that the better capabilities of theta, the better capabilities of beingness, almost can’t exist in this universe. They are here in the flimsiest possible form.

(snipped)
 

Cat's Squirrel

Gold Meritorious Patron
Good post Blue. I think Scn also appeals though to people who believe that psychological / spiritual phenomena can be tamed and controlled - that if you do the "right" things and avoid doing the "wrong" things, you can effect some kind of alchemical transformation of your consciousness and be permanently happy, healthy, successful etc.

I have to admit that when I was in, this was a large part of its appeal for me - I admired and envied the spiritual status of teachers like Ramana Maharshi, Barry Long etc. and wanted to find a well mapped and workable way of achieving them. I was never, for the most part, particularly interested in OT abilities for their own sake.

The question of force really deserves its own thread IMO.
 
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TheOriginalBigBlue

Gold Meritorious Patron
Good post Blue. I think Scn also appeals though to people who believe that psychological / spiritual phenomena can be tamed and controlled - that if you do the "right" things and avoid doing the "wrong" things, you can effect some kind of alchemical transformation of your consciousness and be permanently happy, healthy, successful etc.

I have to admit that when I was in, this was a large part of its appeal for me - I admired and envied the spiritual status of teachers like Ramana Maharshi, Barry Long etc. and wanted to find a well mapped and workable way of achieving them. I was never, for the most part, particularly interested in OT abilities for their own sake.

The question of force really deserves its own thread IMO.
I also believe that ethics is inseparable from any pursuit of spiritual or psychological enlightenment. It is as old a concept as the concept of religion and philosophy. It is also one of the central components of Scientology but like the Spanish Inquisition, it can be used politically and psychopathically to subjugate followers instead of helping them. "Don't sin" requires context. Even LRH pointed out that for a criminal, to not steal or commit a crime when the opportunity clearly presents itself can be interpreted as a sin to a criminal. And so it is with Scientology - to not abuse yourself or another for the greater good of furthering the aims of Scientology is a sin.

But this subject also touches upon the more superstitious beliefs in Scientology. The idea that there will be some magical change to the world by virtue of reaching some critical mass of Clears or OTs - that this will lift the emotional Tone level of the rest of the world or some such. What are we really saying with this? Most Scientologists have no idea that to be an OT means that you have spent at least 3 levels trying to get alien body thetans unstuck from your body. I still need someone to explain to me how this can be done without there being some kind of law like the Conservation of Matter? There are hundreds of billions of BTs on earth and apparently it is a closed system - they aren't leaving the planet, and the OT auditing doesn't destroy them as they aren't bad, just confused they took drugs and they are greatly misunderstood, so they must just migrate somewhere else. So what we are saying is the more OTs we create, the more other people will have BTs until the last human who isn't OT will get them all.

As for the subject of "Force" in Scientology, I am reminded of this scene in The Fly. There are no Scientology politicians in the Scientology world. There is no Scientology parliament to submit and debate over proposals and anything that looks like a Board of Directors is a complete rubber stamping farce.

 
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