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acknowledgments / tr2

yeah

Aberrated
Ever since I did the communication course , I have had the habit of acknowledging things people say but I wonder if it is normal .. obviously not the whole ' I got it' and 'thank you' in tone 40 or whatever, but i wonder if it stalemates what might rather be said... if it were better to instead of saying 'right o ' or whatever to what people say , instead to pause , let there be silence and maybe say something which might make the conversation more meaningful or a bit deeper ... cause 'okay' and 'alright' are kinda like end of the conversation words or maybe just agreement words , but that isn't necessarily good to use all the time...

thoughts?
 
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pineapple

Silver Meritorious Patron
Ever since I did the communication course , I have had the habit of acknowledging things people say but I wonder if it is normal .. obviously not the whole ' I got it' and 'thank you' in tone 40 or whatever, but i wonder if it stalemates what might rather be said... if it were better to instead of saying 'right o ' or whatever to what people say , instead to pause , let there be silence and maybe say something which might make the conversation more meaningful or a bit deeper ... cause 'okay' and 'alright' are kinda like end of the conversation words or maybe just agreement words , but that isn't necessarily good to use all the time...

thoughts?
I still acknowledge and think it's a good thing to do. I think the TR's are the most useful part of scn and the one thing I got the most benefit from.

You have to kind of gauge your acknowledgement to the situation. If you think there's more coming, just give kind of a half-ack, like "Okay ...," as if you're waiting for the other person to say more. If they seem to be finished you can give them a more definite ack.

IMO most people respond positively to this if it's done right.

I left scn in 1981. Welcome to the board.
 

F.Bullbait

Oh, a wise guy,eh?
Good thing Ron invented the art of conversation...

4839f312e91a096a2581ec52c798d1d2.jpg
 

JackStraw

Silver Meritorious Patron
Ever since I did the communication course , I have had the habit of acknowledging things people say but I wonder if it is normal .. obviously not the whole ' I got it' and 'thank you' in tone 40 or whatever, but i wonder if it stalemates what might rather be said... if it were better to instead of saying 'right o ' or whatever to what people say , instead to pause , let there be silence and maybe say something which might make the conversation more meaningful or a bit deeper ... cause 'okay' and 'alright' are kinda like end of the conversation words or maybe just agreement words , but that isn't necessarily good to use all the time...

thoughts?
I appreciate acknowledgements and try to use them, even to "follow" the HCOB on the subject, making them as appropriate as possible. (I know, standard real world conversation!)

I also notice a frequent lack of same on tv news/opinion shows where an entire "conversation" takes place and there's nary an ack. to be found. I find that to be annoying.

Jack
 

tr8theta

I Love Kitties
Ever since I did the communication course , I have had the habit of acknowledging things people say but I wonder if it is normal .. obviously not the whole ' I got it' and 'thank you' in tone 40 or whatever, but i wonder if it stalemates what might rather be said... if it were better to instead of saying 'right o ' or whatever to what people say , instead to pause , let there be silence and maybe say something which might make the conversation more meaningful or a bit deeper ... cause 'okay' and 'alright' are kinda like end of the conversation words or maybe just agreement words , but that isn't necessarily good to use all the time...

thoughts?
I just listen attentively to what people are saying and then when they finish I'll just make the appropriate comment in response to the content of what they've just said. my response might be "Wow, that's cool!" or "No kidding!" or whatever. Even "Okay and "Alright" are sometimes the appropriate response. Just don't cut them short in mid-sentence. I have a home business (I convert home movies on tapes -like VHS - and old film reels to dvd) so i am always sure to repeat what they have expressed to me as being their needs and also when they give me their tel# so they KNOW for sure that I got it right which also confirms for myself that I did.
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
I also notice a frequent lack of same on tv news/opinion shows where an entire "conversation" takes place and there's nary an ack. to be found. I find that to be annoying.

Jack
On these TV "discussion" shows, I've noticed the discussion seems to mainly consist of people talking over each other, rather than waiting for the other person to finish talking before responding.
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Ever since I did the communication course , I have had the habit of acknowledging things people say but I wonder if it is normal .. obviously not the whole ' I got it' and 'thank you' in tone 40 or whatever, but i wonder if it stalemates what might rather be said... if it were better to instead of saying 'right o ' or whatever to what people say , instead to pause , let there be silence and maybe say something which might make the conversation more meaningful or a bit deeper ... cause 'okay' and 'alright' are kinda like end of the conversation words or maybe just agreement words , but that isn't necessarily good to use all the time...

thoughts?
I'm fairly careful these days about who I talk to in the first place, I've been trapped too many times in the past with strangers zeroing in on me and proceeding to talk complete twaddle 'at me' without coming up for breath! I realised after a while that it was my own fault because I was being overly open to it and apparently encouraging it by just looking at the person properly and acknowledging them, which feels like the right thing to do ... but meant I often found myself losing the will to live.

:(


I decided to continue to smile at people but not to make meaningful eye contact unless I have the time and willingness to be dragged into a conversation that I possibly don't want to have ... but if I'm chatting to someone by choice I certainly acknowledge them because that just seems to me to be good manners and has nothing to do with the cult.
 

tr8theta

I Love Kitties
I'm fairly careful these days about who I talk to in the first place, I've been trapped too many times in the past with strangers zeroing in on me and proceeding to talk complete twaddle 'at me' without coming up for breath! I realised after a while that it was my own fault because I was being overly open to it and apparently encouraging it by just looking at the person properly and acknowledging them, which feels like the right thing to do ... but meant I often found myself losing the will to live.

:(

I decided to continue to smile at people but not to make meaningful eye contact unless I have the time and willingness to be dragged into a conversation that I possibly don't want to have ... but if I'm chatting to someone by choice I certainly acknowledge them because that just seems to me to be good manners and has nothing to do with the cult.
A lot of people are lonely...and many never even get to feel they are being listened to or cared about and then there are those who hardly ever get acknowledged so they are inclined to talk endlessly. So when you look eye to eye at someone, like you said, it may encourage them to start a conversation. Ironically, I find myself being the one who initiates conversation. And then there are those who are only engrossed with their telephones. Families at restaurant tables and everyone is texting, tweeting, instagramming...instead of speaking to one another...it's a shame.

"but meant I often found myself losing the will to live"

This comment concerns me and I'd like to most politely ask, if I may, what exactly made (or makes) you feel this way? I know you don't know me so if you'd rather not, I'll understand.
I used to suffer from clinical depression - REALLY bad - like I don't wanna live anymore" type bad...but I'm way past that now having recovered fully. On the other hand I feel that I am ready for the next phase of my existence as a being, having lived 68 years now...been there/done that. I'm not to happy about the state of affairs of our world - specifically all the hate, crime, abuse of man against his fellow beings. hopefully what awaits me "afterwards" will be better. If I had the money though I'd love to travel and see some of the beautiful places on our Earth and bring my videocamera (I'm a videographer) and I love to capture nature - animals, flowers, trees, sunsets...stuff like that - PEOPLE, not so much LOL.
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
A lot of people are lonely...and many never even get to feel they are being listened to or cared about and then there are those who hardly ever get acknowledged so they are inclined to talk endlessly. So when you look eye to eye at someone, like you said, it may encourage them to start a conversation. Ironically, I find myself being the one who initiates conversation. And then there are those who are only engrossed with their telephones. Families at restaurant tables and everyone is texting, tweeting, instagramming...instead of speaking to one another...it's a shame.

"but meant I often found myself losing the will to live"

This comment concerns me and I'd like to most politely ask, if I may, what exactly made (or makes) you feel this way? I know you don't know me so if you'd rather not, I'll understand.
I used to suffer from clinical depression - REALLY bad - like I don't wanna live anymore" type bad...but I'm way past that now having recovered fully. On the other hand I feel that I am ready for the next phase of my existence as a being, having lived 68 years now...been there/done that. I'm not to happy about the state of affairs of our world - specifically all the hate, crime, abuse of man against his fellow beings. hopefully what awaits me "afterwards" will be better. If I had the money though I'd love to travel and see some of the beautiful places on our Earth and bring my videocamera (I'm a videographer) and I love to capture nature - animals, flowers, trees, sunsets...stuff like that - PEOPLE, not so much LOL.

Re my comment above ... it's just an expression, it wasn't meant literally.

I'm a nature lover too, it's where my main focus seems to be and has been since I was child though not as a photographer/videographer (I'm hopeless at that, lol).
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
That's what ultimately lead to my taking an early retirement from where I worked.
I spotted that a gal who transferred in from the property appraisers office and landed in the 2nd in command catbird seat of the GIS department for which I did aerial mapping and other duties from my position in another nearby dept.
Her position allowed her to put out tentacles into the databases of all departments, though they'd demoted her over at the P.A.'s for reasons then unknown.
She had a strong tendency to lock in her TR's on you when you talked and constantly ack'd you with her big one being a constant "got it, got it" like she was fielding everything you threw at her with a catcher's mitt.
So I kept getting ever more curious and started using Scientology words that I'd slip into conversations but she never took the bait.
She may have already known that I was a disgruntled former member and I finally just HAD to ask her "were you ever in Scientology?"
She dryly said no but then, as I'd find out MUCH later, began to fair game me by putting out a rumor that I'd touched myself inappropriately in her presence.
That sure as hell never even came close to happening as she was a skanky coke bottle glasses wearing Bahamian of Chinese decent, or so she said.
Of course no one told me about any of this at the time so that I could defend myself but as there had been a sizeable number of men that had been forced out in some fashion due to similar allegations, I was too, having been told that my position was slated to become part time!?! Hell, I was the only one who stayed busy in my department, but that's another story.
I've only been back in once since I left and she was totally freaked out to confront me like she wasn't sure what revenge I was there to exact upon her.
I've since had people come forward and tell me the whole story of what a hatchet job she did on me behind my back, all of which only occurred after inquiring about her Scientology affiliation.
A plant, no doubt at all.
Helena is her name in case anyone knows of someone that fits the description and background. I would just love to sue to get back my previously great reputation around there.
The lesson OSA, your own TR's have given you away and people know who you are without you knowing that they know.
 
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yeah

Aberrated
sounds like a sea org member...


edit: nevermind
 

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tr8theta

I Love Kitties
Re my comment above ... it's just an expression, it wasn't meant literally.

I'm a nature lover too, it's where my main focus seems to be and has been since I was child though not as a photographer/videographer (I'm hopeless at that, lol).
Oops , sorry I didn't know it was just an expression.
Hopeless??? ya can't go wrong with today's easy to use cameras and camcorders...even your cell phone takes pics and video...I bet you can do a very nice job :)
 

pineapple

Silver Meritorious Patron
My first job after I got out of scn was as a telephone interviewer, doing market research (not sales). I found my TR's very useful in this job. Doing surveys over the phone is alot like auditing!

Only once did an interviewee object to my acknowledgements. He said, "You know, this would go alot faster if you didn't keep saying 'okay,' 'good' and 'thank you' all the time." So I dropped the acks (which felt really weird) and finished the survey without them.

It was only much later that it occurred to me that he may have been an ex-scngst and the acks were restimming his scn experiences!

If you've ever done that kind of work by the way, let me recommend this movie, "Sorry To Bother You." You'll probably like it even if you haven't. Currently doing well in theaters in the US. They're doing telemarketing, different from what I did, but close enough. And we had black interviewers who used their "white voice" very effectively, too.

 

JackStraw

Silver Meritorious Patron
On these TV "discussion" shows, I've noticed the discussion seems to mainly consist of people talking over each other, rather than waiting for the other person to finish talking before responding.
Very true! But, even when they are civil conversations, it seems like they practice not acking, almost like it's seen as extraneous or something.

It still bugs me sometimes.

Jack
 

JackStraw

Silver Meritorious Patron
I'm fairly careful these days about who I talk to in the first place, I've been trapped too many times in the past with strangers zeroing in on me and proceeding to talk complete twaddle 'at me' without coming up for breath! I realised after a while that it was my own fault because I was being overly open to it and apparently encouraging it by just looking at the person properly and acknowledging them, which feels like the right thing to do ... but meant I often found myself losing the will to live.

:(

I decided to continue to smile at people but not to make meaningful eye contact unless I have the time and willingness to be dragged into a conversation that I possibly don't want to have ... but if I'm chatting to someone by choice I certainly acknowledge them because that just seems to me to be good manners and has nothing to do with the cult.
Ahh, the joy of being an introvert! I am so self-contained I can sit in the middle of a full-on multi-part convo. and not contribute a bloody thing. I am quite content to take it all in, mull it all over, deciding who makes sense, who doesn't, who there may be hope of changing their mind, those who it would be a total waste of time...

Idle small talk is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. I can't stand it. Not much fun at parties, but then, I kinda hate parties anyway. Not anti-social, but, rather, non-social.

Jack
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Ahh, the joy of being an introvert! I am so self-contained I can sit in the middle of a full-on multi-part convo. and not contribute a bloody thing. I am quite content to take it all in, mull it all over, deciding who makes sense, who doesn't, who there may be hope of changing their mind, those who it would be a total waste of time...

Idle small talk is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. I can't stand it. Not much fun at parties, but then, I kinda hate parties anyway. Not anti-social, but, rather, non-social.

Jack


Lol! I've been known to sling myself down the stairs to avoid having to go to a party ...

:hidecomputer:
 

yeah

Aberrated
I don't know what that attachment is about?
right here's what I deleted

So recently I have been compelled to say "true" , "alright" , "yes" , "u-huh" whenever people say something and a part of me feels this is flawed because people like to run their mouths and make noise and sounds but it doesn't necessarily have to be analyzed or run through the machinations of yer mind.

(random thoughts)
plus as animals we/they can sort of tell if you are listening or not, or maybe they don't care because it isn't always so important as to get a response. A lot of times people just speak to themselves or out loud and enjoy being heard because it arouses a and it generates a certain kind of configuration in their mind which then results in a kind of body language of the most primitive kind ... which is communication if you pay attention ... some kind of metaphysics ...
emanates or radiates, transmits their state of mind projecting into the astral plane of imagination hehe
(that may or may not have made much sense)

so for instance this conversation (see attachment)
I am part of a group on facebook and the question which was posted publicly in the group was something along the lines of 'what sins have you recently committed"

Some random woman said what was in the screenshot and I replied by asking her a question.
I feel like the conversation could continue but I have no Idea what to say ... according to auditor training or the part of me which was raised in scientology which is just an inkling now, says that maybe the appropriate acknowledgment is to say " i understand " or "oh" or something... the rest of me says that's just boring and maybe it is simply better to ask another question, say something cheesy, or to leave it as it were , as I have done

For a while I felt and still feel like the 'like' button serves as an ack for when people don't know what to say or don't feel like taking it further

fyi she lives in another country
 
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