Scientology even dislikes plain medical doctors, preferring Scientologists go to chiropractors.
REASON: Medical doctors are too complex. Ron states that "complexity is equal to degree of non-confront". On the other hand scientology chiropractors have gargantuan confront and can quickly and easily find your mest body's why.
DISCLAIMER: I do not want to evaluate for Scientologists, so I will let them speak for themselves:
SCIENTOLOGIST
Doctor, my lungs have been giving me huge problems,
for years I couldn't stop coughing and now I can hardly
breathe. "
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
We'll need to do a full workup, blood panel and
other diagnostic tests so that we can exactly
determine the source of the problem, so that
we can make it vanish.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wow, that sounds complicated---and expensive!
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
Oh, no it's quite simple, actually I already ran
all the diagnostic tests.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wuttttttt? When did you do that, today
is my first visit to your clinic?
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
I did it after you described all your symptoms.
The WHY is that you have spinal subluxations.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wutttt? My spine?
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
Yes, the misalignment of your vertebrae are
suppressing the flow of theta to your lungs. I
can give you a series of adjustments over the
next months and your lungs will be as good as new!
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wowwwwww! That is amazing. That's it, there's
nothing else for me to do or be worried about?
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
Well you will need to do two things--first, pay for
a 12.5 hour intensive of adjustments today and
get the sliding scale discount.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Okay, I hope it's not too expensive. What was the other
thing I need to do.
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
You need to take the prescription I am going to give you
today.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Oh, drugs? I was hoping to avoid that.
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
No, not drugs, LOL. We base our presciptions on
real science and naturally growing herbs and such.
Before I write your prescription, I need to ask you
if you are a smoker and if so how much you smoke
a day.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Well, um...yes, I do smoke. About a pack a day.
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
Okay then, here's your prescription, I need you to
increase to 3 packs a day, like Dr Hubbard smoked.
He stated that lung cancer is caused by not smoking
enough cigarettes.
SCIENTOLOGIST
My cousin is an emergency room doctor and he told me
that my lung cancer is from smoking.
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
LOL. Well, obviously your cousin is a wog, so he doesn't know.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Actually my cousin is the one that got me into Scientology. He's
a grade IV!
SCN CHIROPRACTOR
LOL, well that's all fine, but he's only a Grade IV and I am an OT I,
so obviously he doesn't have all the advanced confidential information
and secret upper level technology.
SCIENTOLOGIST
Wow, that indicates! I feel all the charge is totally blowing,
i think my cough has already been handled, I didn't cough for the
past 10 minutes just being in your theta space!
Do you have any blank Success Story forms?
.