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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

HelluvaHoax!

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CURIOUS WOG
Hey, Scientology! If an SP can have a hit tv show on
Scientology, why can't OTs have a hit tv show on Scientology?


SCIENTOLOGY
But, we do have a hit tv show on Scientology, haven't
you see our cable tv channel that runs 24/7?


CURIOUS WOG
That's hardly a hit tv show. You people pay
for that programming but nobody watches it.


SCIENTOLOGY
Not true! Our stats prove that our
program is a breakout blockbuster success!


CURIOUS WOG
What stats? It's not even listed in
the top 1000 most watched shows.


SCIENTOLOGY
Wrong! Our show is loved by hundreds of millions around the world!


CURIOUS WOG
Where did you get that information?


SCIENTOLOGY
From our leader, Mr. Miscavige.
He never lies--because he's ethical.


CURIOUS WOG
Ethical? Really? Isn't that the guy who kicks,
imprisons, chokes and beats his staff bloody?


SCIENTOLOGY
No!


CURIOUS WOG
But there have been many former Scientology staff that have
given sworn affidavits that he viciously assaulted and beat them up.


SCIENTOLOGY
No, people only attack our leader because we are winning.


CURIOUS WOG
WInning? Whatttttt?
What are you even talking about. Who's winning?


SCIENTOLOGY
Obviously Mr. Miscavige is winning. He beat the living
crap out of those DBs, they can't fight worth shit.


.

 
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HelluvaHoax!

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cross-posted from another thread discussing Scientology's view of "Ethics vs Morals"

- - -
[bcolor=#fcf0e4]posted by Guanoloco[/bcolor]
"Ethics consists simply of the actions an individual takes on himself.
It is a personal thing. When one is ethical or has his ethics in,
it is by his own determinism and is done by himself."
- Hubbard
.
.
I just ran Hubbard's definition of ethics through a CULT'S IDIOTIC IDIOM[sup]tm[/sup] translator:
"Putting ethics in" - Putting deposits in
"It's a personal thing" - It's a personal Swiss bank account
"By his own determinism" - Discretionary funds
"Done by himself" - Spent by himself (i.e. inurement)
.
 
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THE DB'S DINKY DICTIONARY OF
IDIOTIC CULT IDIOMS




8th Dynamic - the Supreme Being

TRANSLATION: The Supreme Source of Scientology and/or the party that currently has legal custody & control of the bank account, mimeo machine and goldenrod paper.

.
 

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Stupid Scientology Scriptural Slogans: "WE COME BACK!"

WTF IS IT? The sacred motto of the Scientology's most responsible, elite, total cause & paranormally powerful Sea Organization.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? That "a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away" Scientologists were (in their previous incarnations) attempting to "Clear The Planet" and "Salvage This Sector", but miserably failed. And now, hundreds of trillions of years later, they finally got their act together and are ready to deliver what they promised. So, now they have "come back"! They apparently waited this long to invoke the statute of limitation on refunds.
WAIT A MINUTE, WHY DID THEY FAIL IF THEY HAD ALL THE TECH BACK THEN? Based on scientific wholetrack research done by a doctor and nuclear physicist, the tech trillions of years ago was only missing one tiny little thing. The "Correction Department". Please recall that hundreds of trillions of years ago beings were perfect and therefore did not need any correction. But, at some point they began goofing up. Problem was, nobody knew what to do when they made a mistake. The word "correction" was not even a word yet! So, when nobody was going Clear or OT back then they did not correct the problem. However, now they are back and know to route all problems to the correction department who knows how to solve everything. The great part of this discovery is that the Corrections Department can be run by just one15 year old that flunked out of high-school---that's how streamlined the tech has become---and THAT is what has now made planetary clearing a reality!
HOW DO WE KNOW THAT RON'S WHOLETRACK RESEARCH IS REALLY REAL? Because it is not just his opinion, it's science and on top of that it's religious scripture!
YEAH BUT HOW DO WE KNOW THAT HIS RELIGIOUS SCRIPTURE IS NOT JUST SHIT THAT HE MADE UP? Because right in the scripture itself it states that it is science.
WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! IS IT SCIENCE OR IS IT SCRIPTURE? It's scientific scripture. And there's technology to support both of those. Therefore, if you don't believe the scripture, we can help you by using precise scientific instruments to locate the word you didn't understand that is preventing you from understanding the self-evident fact that Dr. Hubbard is infallible.
.
 

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QUESTION: If Scientology abided by Truth-In-Advertising practices, what then would the Sea Org motto be?

ANSWER:

WE COME BACK!
(when we are able to raise your credit card limits)

.
 

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A very perplexing KSW KOAN. . .

If, per Dianetics, the engram is the cause of all human suffering and therefore one is never supposed to speak aloud around unconscious people (to avoid ruining them with "engramic content"), why then did Hubbard consistently & flagrantly violate that rule- -by giving those many hundreds of (audiotaped) lectures to Scientologists?
.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
.


A very perplexing KSW KOAN. . .

If, per Dianetics, the engram is the cause of all human suffering and therefore one is never supposed to speak aloud around unconscious people (to avoid ruining them with "engramic content"), why then did Hubbard consistently & flagrantly violate that rule- -by giving those many hundreds of (audiotaped) lectures to Scientologists?

.

To say nothing of their thousands of BTs.
 

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SCIENTOLOGY ACTUALLY DOESN'T LIE
WHEN THEIR PROMO CLAIMS. . .


"Scientology is the ultimate tool to discover the
complete and exact truth about life and the universe."


BECAUSE. . .

Whatever Scientologists tell you, the truth is the complete
and exact opposite. In this way, Scientology's lies
(inadvertently & paradoxically) leads
you to discover the truth.


.
 

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To say nothing of their thousands of BTs.
That seems to be a key engramic phrase within Scientology. . . "say nothing":

  • One must "say nothing" during TR-0.
  • One must "say nothing" around an unconscious person.
  • One must disconnect and "say nothing" to SPs.
  • One must "say nothing" about the fact that Clear and OT powers don't exist.
  • One must "say nothing" (using TR-0) while one is being defrauded & bankrupted on the Bridge to ideal, total say nothingness.

TECH TIP OF THE DAY:

If Hubbard truly believed that one must say nothing in the vicinity of an unconscious person. . .
He would have said nothing in those 1,837 audiotaped lectures he gave to Scientolgists.
.
 
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JustSheila

Crusader
I think what you have spotted is that Dr. Hubbard's TONE 40 POSTULATE was not so tone 40, after all, since he had that "doubt and reservation" about whether the planet was going to self-destruct. Ergo, he ordered earth beings to bury his tech so that hundreds of thousands of years from now cave men (and Piltdown Men 2.0) will stumble across it and figure out how to read english.

I always wondered (if it is buried deep underground in a remote mountain) how they will even notice it.

I also wondered (if they can somehow manage to even find it) if it will contain a titanium demo kit and a titanium box of clay.

I worry about stuff like this. lol

.
:roflmao: :laugh:

That is SO funny! Which gets me to thinking, what else does the cult haz in its titanium pocketses?!


What a story it will tell to the future of mankind!
:hmm:
demo kit
clay
an ashtray
a pack of Kools
a cheap gold plated OT necklace next to
Hubbard's skull
a roll of toilet paper
Prescription bottles for pinks & greys and Vistaril
Hubbard's failed BT zapper
a recording of 'Thank you for Listening'

:omg:
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
Making the clammy scam work for you!

HelluvaHoax! said:

"Scientology. It is the ultimate tool to know the truth about life and the universe---because whatever Scientologists tell you, the truth is the exact and complete opposite. In this way Scientology (inadvertently & paradoxically) leads you to the truth."
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
That seems to be a key engramic phrase within Scientology. . . "say nothing".

  • One must "say nothing" during TR-0.​
  • One must "say nothing" around an unconscious person.​
  • One must disconnect and "say nothing" to SPs.​
  • One must "say nothing" about the fact that Clear and OT powers don't exist.​
  • One must "say nothing" (using TR-0) while one is being defrauded & bankrupted on the Bridge to ideal, total say nothingness.​


TECH TIP OF THE DAY:

If Hubbard truly believed that one must say nothing in the vicinity of an unconscious person. . .

He would have said nothing in those 1,837 audiotaped lectures he gave to Scientolgists.

.

Say nothing to merchants of chaos

Say nothing to staff when routing off staff

Say nothing to Power Pcs

Say nothing to RPFers

Say nothing about the confidential levels

...when in doubt...communicate.

...communication is the universal solvent.

...the biggest crimes of the universe...being there and communicating.
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
Yes, the cult of paradoxes and contradictions.
The Church of Say Nothingology.
Thank you all for those incisive observations. You've really honed your obnosis skills. lol
 

TheOriginalBigBlue

Gold Meritorious Patron
Say nothing to merchants of chaos

Say nothing to staff when routing off staff

Say nothing to Power Pcs

Say nothing to RPFers

Say nothing about the confidential levels

...when in doubt...communicate.

...communication is the universal solvent.

...the biggest crimes of the universe...being there and communicating.
...and especially say nothing to the police and the courts. Keep everything in-house. Take it to the Ethics Officer or Chaplain:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...ist-jenni-weinman_us_5a15c995e4b09650540f05b6

(snip)
Bixler dated Masterson for six years and says that he raped her at least twice when she was unconscious. One morning in 2001, she says, she woke up in pain with her anus bleeding. When she asked Masterson what had happened the night before, she says, he told her “We had anal sex.” According to Bixler, when she confronted Masterson about his callousness and said she hadn’t been able to consent, he replied, “Stop it, you’re making me feel bad.”
Bixler was a Scientologist at the time ― as Masterson was and still is ― so she filed what’s known as a knowledge report to the Church ethics office. One of the key policies of the Church of Scientology is that a Scientologist must never report another Scientologist to law enforcement. (They’re also not allowed to sue fellow Scientologists.) Filing a police report would have led the Church to declare Bixler a suppressive person ― a harsher form of excommunication that would have required any Scientologist to immediately “disconnect” from her.
Bixler filed the knowledge report with the Church, but was told by Church officials that what happened to her couldn’t be considered rape because she was in a relationship with Masterson. She says the Church repeatedly threatened her to stay silent, and that in 2002 it coerced her, under the threat of being declared a suppressive person, to sign an agreement releasing Masterson from any claims, including palimony.
(snip)
 

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...and especially say nothing to the police and the courts. Keep everything in-house. Take it to the Ethics Officer or Chaplain:

(snip)


SCIENTOLOGISTS TALKING TO SCIENTOLOGISTS [ RANT WARNING! ]:



ETHICS OFFICER
Do you know why you've been routed to Ethics?

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
I am assuming it's about the OT VIII who stole
$500,000 from my bank account and---

ETHICS OFFICER
(interrrupting)
No! It's not that.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Well I hadn't finished. After they stole
the money, they stole my car and---

ETHICS OFFICER
No, that's not it.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
If I can please continue, after they stole my money and my car, they
ran over me and then backed up and ran over me again, leaving
me for dead after they stole my diamond ring and Rolex.

ETHICS OFFICER
No, no and no.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
You mean when I was in the hospital and that same sociopath came in
my room while I was unconscious and unplugged my life support
machines so they could cash in--using the fake will that they
forged to collect my life insurance money after I died?

ETHICS OFFICER
No.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Then why am I here?

ETHICS OFFICER
You are here because when you regained
consciousness you filed a police report.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
So?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well, first of all the person you are attacking
is an OT VII. That's a total PR flap for Scientology.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
So?

ETHICS OFFICER
So, we have issued a non enturbulation order
on you, if you keep spreading this entheta
to others, you will be declared SP.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
What do I do about the OT VIII who tried to murder me?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well you can start by doing an amends project and donating
money to the IAS--in order to make up the damage.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
I don't get it. What damage?

ETHICS OFFICER
The damage is sabotaging Ron's goal of
a world without insanity and criminality.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Really? how did I sabotage Ron's goal? What about
my goal to not be robbed and murdered?

ETHICS OFFICER
You sabotaged Scientology and endangered this
planet and mankind by filing that police report.
The police arrested the OT VII.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
And that endangers mankind....how?

ETHICS OFFICER
The OT VIII was in jail for 5 days before bailing
out and he missed all those days on course and our
Ideal Org's STUDENT POINTS stat totally crashed.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Did the OT VIII also get sent to ethics?

ETHICS OFFICER
Unnecessary. They have ethics protection. They donated
$500,000 to the Way To Happiness project last week.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Hey! That was my money! So if someone gives you people my stolen
money they can do anything they want and nothing happens to them?!

ETHICS OFFICER
Oh, no. Something definitely happens to them. They
get a huge humanitarian medallion. Matter of fact
the IAS Awards are tonight and the OT VIII is getting
the Freedom Medal of Humanitarianism. Hey, I don't see
you on the list of confirmed. You definitely need to be
there as part of your amends, especially to flow power
to power. So can we count on you to be there?

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
I have to go applaud the insane
asshole who tried to murder me?

ETHICS OFFICER
No, we aren't saying that. You won't actually be in the
auditorium, you are assigned to the cleanup crew out back
where the food dumpster bags are--it's part of your amends
project. You're lucky we are even letting you attend
an event like that with such super-upstat OTs.​
 
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guanoloco

As-Wased
SCIENTOLOGISTS TALKING TO SCIENTOLOGISTS [ RANT WARNING! ]:



ETHICS OFFICER
Do you know why you've been routed to Ethics?

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
I am assuming it's about the OT VIII who stole $50,000 from my bank account and and---

ETHICS OFFICER
(interrrupting)
No! It's not that.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Well I hadn't finished. After they stole the money, they stole my car and---

ETHICS OFFICER
No, that's not it.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
If I can please continue. After they stole my money and my car, they
ran over me and then backed up and ran over me again, leaving
me for dead after they stole my diamond ring and Rolex.

ETHICS OFFICER
No, no and no.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
You mean when I was in the hospital and that same sociopath cam in
my room while I was unconscious and unplugged my life support machines
so they could cash in using the fake will that they forged to collect
my life insurance money after I died?

ETHICS OFFICER
No.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Then why am I here?

ETHICS OFFICER
You are here because when you regained consciousness you
filed a police report.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
So?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well, first of all the person you are attacking is an OT VII. That's
a total PR flap for Scientology.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
So?

ETHICS OFFICER
So, we have issued a non enturbulation order on you,
if you keep spreading this entheta to others, you will
be declared SP.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
What do I do about the OT VIII who tried to murder me?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well you can start by doing an amends project and donating
money to the IAS--in order to make up the damage.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
I don't get it. What damage?

ETHICS OFFICER
The damage is sabotaging Ron's goal of
a world without insanity and criminality.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Really? how did I sabotage Ron's goal? What about
my goal to not be robbed and murdered?

ETHICS OFFICER
You sabotaged Scientology and endangered this planet and
mankind by filing that police report. The police arrested the
OT VII.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
And that endangers mankind....how?

ETHICS OFFICER
The OT VIII was in jail for 5 days before bailing
out and he missed all those days on course and our Ideal Org's
STUDENT POINTS stat totally crashed.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Did the OT VIII also get sent to ethics?

ETHICS OFFICER
Unnecessary. They have ethics protection. They donated $500,000
to the Ideal Org last week.

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
So if someone gives you people money they can do anything
they want and nothing happens to them.

ETHICS OFFICER
Oh, no. Something definitely happens to them. They
get a huge humanitarian medallion. Matter of fact
the IAS Awards are tonight and the OT VIII is getting
the Freedom Medal of Humanitarianism. Hey, I don't see
you on the list of confirmed. You definitely need to be
there as part of your amends, especially to flow power
to power. So can we count on you to be there?

NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
I have to go applaud the insane asshole who tried to
murder me?

ETHICS OFFICER
No, we aren't saying that. You won't actually be in the
auditorium, you are assigned to the cleanup crew out back
where the dumpster bags are--it's part of your amends project.
You're lucky we are even letting you attend an event like that
with such super-upstat OTs.​

The game where everyone wins.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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cross-posted from another thread where it was observed that
political cults were identical to religious cults, like Scientology.

LINK TO THREAD HERE
- - - - - -

.
Ksw Kult Koan: If every cult has one (1) evil enemy that is causing all the suffering in the world--and someone simultaneously belongs to three (3) cults [Social Justice Warrior, Nation of Islam & Scientology], then who is the evil enemy?





.


Stumped?

I hesitate to feed anyone the CultCog, so take as much time as you need to mediate on this.

It may take hours, days, weeks, years or decades---such is the price of enlightenment.

















What's that?

This is annoying you say?

You wish to expedite your illumination?

You mean, you want a clue?

My, my, my--there are no shortcuts to cosmic consciousness, my friend.








.











What?

You're still here?

Expecting for me to "feed you the cog", were you?

LOL

My friend, I would gladly have done that, if it were not for this simple technical fact.

Feeding another being the CultCog can result in messing up a being's case.

No, you'll pardon me if I do not screw up your eternity.

I am thinking of you, the being.

Think about your future, my friend.

Do not keep asking for a quickie epiphany!

Come back when you think you have the answer.

We will be more than happy to let you know if you "made it".

Good luck my friend!









.

















What the hell is going on here?

I thought I told you to go mediate.

Did you actually want to achieve supreme knowledge like me or not?

Are you seriously desiring to attain the Bodhi state, or what?!

I mean, what the hell are you doing?

Spiritually speaking, if you're honestly looking to attain spiritual serenity, go fuckin' mediate!




.








Okay, just this one time we are going to help you out.

But, do not blame us if trillions of years from now the rest of us are master OTs, playing out in the stars with godlike miraculous powers, laughing and mocking up perfectly blissful dynamics and going to the best restaurants in the universe with our OT friends-----while you are back on Earth, and condemned to dine alone in the dark[sup]1[/sup].

Okay, we tried to warn you.

Last warning, spiritual spoiler ahead. Proceed at your own risk. . .



If every cult has one (1) evil enemy that is causing all the suffering
in the world--and someone simultaneously belongs to three (3) cults
[Social Justice Warrior, Nation of Islam & Scientology],
then who is the evil enemy?



ANSWER TO KSW KULT KOAN
A rich, white psych



.








[sup]1[/sup] Click here for link to: "DINE ALONE & IN THE DARK"

.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Cross-posted from another thread discussing
"THE GOLDEN AGE OF DELUSION", an excellent
post by Mike Rinder over on his
BLOG.
- - - - - -

Posted by HelluvaHoax!

Illuminating post by Mike. Scientology is, if nothing else, wildly innovative.

They have taken a new age concept ("What's real to you is what is real") and turned it into a full blown mental illness where delusional ideation is commercially monetized at a metric exceeding $500,000 per psychotic break. LOL

(Yeah, I know, it's not really good to LOL at mentally ill people. But, they taught me that laughing is really F/N[sup]ey[/sup], super-pro-survival[sup]ey[/sup] and uptone[sup]ish[/sup], and will help me get wins, jumbo certificates and lapel pins).

.
.
Posted by Clay Pigeon

On it's current trajectory I would expect CoS to become as small as the Theosophical Society when Hubbard is no longer in living memory

.
.

Yes!

Or possibly a small desolate chain of Christian Science Reading Rooms Hubbard Science Clay-Demoing Rooms.

.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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cross-posted from a thread discussing
"The Tone Scale: How Valid Is It?"
- - - - - -​


What tone level was it when Dr. Hubbard:

--lied about Dianetics being a "science" with real research and clinical case studies?

--promoted and sold the non-existent state and abilities of a "clear"?

--pretended he was an advanced spiritual being with supernatural powers?

--claimed that he was the authority on "exteriorization"--something he was unable to do?

--bragged that he alone had discovered and solved mankind's tragic ruin--Xenu's BTs?

--imprisoned a hysterically crying 4 year old into a chain locker for days?

--went on the run from authorities and civil lawsuits by hiding in a motorhome?

--treacherously conspired to falsely imprison, drive insane and/or murder Paulette Cooper?

--chronically "stole valor" by claiming to be a doctor, nuclear physicist, war hero and galactic savior?


I guess that's enough tone-level spotting for one post.

Were there any other questions about Hubbard's high-toned lying, high-toned fraud, high-toned sociopathy, high-toned treachery, high-toned criminality and high-toned sadism?
.
.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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a brand new feature on
The Stupid Thread

"WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SCIENTOLOGY. . ."


OWNED A SKYDIVING SCHOOL?

You would have to buy years worth of training at lavish expense
to study Ron's wholetrack research and breakthough on the planet's
only advanced and 100% workable technology for skydiving.


And, you'd be required to purchase two (2) Standard Golden Age of Skydiving Parachutes.

All that before you would be allowed to enjoy your first skydive.

But before that, you would be required to get an "Invitation"
from a person you never met or saw that would allow
you to go to the airport to skydive.


However, before you could go the airport, you would
be required to demonstrate your "contributions" to
the company that sold you the courses/parachutes
and prove you helped introduce many other
paying students to the business.


But, before you would be allowed to board the shuttle van
that would take you to the airport at a confidential location,
you would have to pass a lie detector test to ensure you
were going to use the parachute tech in an ethical way.


When the van arrived at the airport, before being allowed off,
you would be required to make a substantial donation to
the IAS (International Association of Skydivers).


Before being allowed on the plane you would have to turn in
and pay for your two (2) parachutes to be "Silver Cert-ed"
since it has been more than a year since you bought them.


While you are waiting for your parachutes to come back, you
would be required to rent a room at the Skydiving Hotel and
after checking into your room, you would be informed that
you needed to pay for and do a "Refresher Course" and
a "Six Month Check" since you graduated the HSSSC (Hubbard
Standard Skydiving Specialist Course) more than 181 days earlier.


Once aboard the plane you would get a mandatory briefing
where you would be informed that even though you were
qualified to be on the skydiving plane and take off--
you were not yet qualified to jump out of the plane
when it was at altitude. In order to do that, you
would have to make a substantial donation
to the Ideal Airport Fund, that the
company would use to build
new high-tech runway
and hangar.


When the plane hits altitude, you would then be asked
if you really wanted for your dive master (that would
accompany you on your first dive to ensure safety) to be a student skydiver--
or if you wanted to pay $5,000 for a Class VIII professional skydiver
that could save your life in the event of a mid-air emergency. You naturally
then would let them take your charge card, but before they ran it, they
would tell you that it would actually not be that safe unless you paid extra
to have a Class XII Master Skydiver who is the only dive master who has
never had one of their student-divers die due to malfunctions or other stuff
that always happens---so you pay $10,000 just to be on the safe side.


Now you are finally ready for your first dive. Your dive master secures the
tether between your gear and his own and you both leap out and begin
freefalling earhward in an exhilerating rush of air, noise and motion!


Midair, you get the signal to pull the chute cord and do so. But your
chute does not open. Frantically your instructor signals you to
pull your reserve chute. That doesn't open either. Now
you are clinging on for dear life to your dive-master as
you plummet downward at a deadly accelerating rate.


The dive master screams: "Whoever packed your damn chutes
must have been PTS. You should have paid the extra fee for a Class XIII
Chute-Packing Specialist to do a CES (Chute Error Summary)

and this wouldn't have happened!" Over the din, you scream back:"What
do I do now?!!!" As the instructor disconnects your tether (to ensure his own safety)
and you begin the nightmarish free-fall towards your certain death, he shouts
down to you from far above: "Just make it go right...and don't get all by-passed
charge-ey & victim
-ey about it, because we'll keep the unused credit from
your skydiving package on your account for next lifetime."


.
.




postscript: And your funeral would become an "Event", hosted by Skytologists who would charge your estate $25,000 for standardly delivering it. And the mourners would be r-factored that you had shed your body on your own determinism, fully at cause, because your body had become an impediment to the joyful sensation of falling. But now you were "totally free" to fall vast intergalactic distances without running into "counter-intention" and "stops" like the ground.

.
 
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