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In the Life of an ordinary woman.... the beginning

Good twin

Floater
Wow. It does feel just like I'm back there. I was a very new Scientologist training as a Course Supervisor. The location of the Base was still secret from Scientologists. We were known as "United Churches" to the wog public. As public we went through debriefing and were also given shore stories for any contact with public or even Scientologists from home. The Ft Harrison was a mess. I was routed into isolation when sick once and the room we stayed in was horrible. Anyway, yeah it was just like you said. Keep writing, please....
 

duddins

Patron Meritorious
Wow Ozzie, you just reminded me of so many things about living at Flag. The bugs there had the adaptation of 'flight' and there was no getting away from them in the rooms on the higher floors.

When I was there for two years (78-80 or thereabouts) there was no air conditioning in the Sea Org berthing....only in the rooms for paying public.

We had to leave the windows open at night in hopes for a breeze.....(fat chance) and in the bugs would fly.

I remember waking with a roach on my face. (of the big palmetto type)

It was, as you say.....a "just get over it" type thing at the base. But I remember having nightmares about bugs crawling on me long after leaving the SO.

I also remember the constant barrage of insults thrown at us, as we walked the streets of Clearwater in our SO uniforms. I almost forgot about it because we were practically numb to it, due to the frequency of the insults.

I used to go across the street to the little store and get a yogurt or a healthfood bar on those rare occassions when I had money. We were completely socially isolated from the people on the outside. It amazes me how much it got to the point that it did not bother me what they said because they were just "wogs" and not important enough to even consider as "real" people. Isnt that odd?

In retrospect...who was being "real" and who was not?

I also recall that to avoid the people of Clearwater, I took to jogging at night...as late as 2 o'clock in the morning. (safe huh?)

My "run" was down the Blvd to St Petersburg to the big white wooden Victorian hotel and back again. Sometimes I jogged along the causeway across the water.

Jogging alone at night was part of my sanity. (Jesse Prince was my savior in that area of my life. He taught me how to jog while at the Pac Base.....and I didnt stop for several years in the SO that followed. )

Ozzie.....your posts are amazing. Just when I thought I had remembered all there was to remember.....you start pouring out your guts here!

You are so correct that it was the fond memories of people that we got to become friends with on the inside that kept us going. Not the leadership or orders we were carrying out. It makes me cry to think of the people I became close to....that I never got to see again. :bigcry:

Please, when you get the chance....keep going! PLEEZE!
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
I think one of the hardest things to understand is why we stayed. You show why so well. It's the isolation of the group from the real world, the feeling that any odds can be overcome with enough 'confront' and determination. Failure is simply not an option, no matter the insanity of the task, because the longer you are there the more 'normal' it all seems. With nothing to compare it to, and the outside world viewed as full of SPs and nutters, it's a whole different reality.

You inspire me...I know this is not easy and lots and lots of hugs. :thumbsup: :hattip: :smoochy:
 

ozzie

Patron with Honors
Thanks people! I love you all and I can't express the feeling of gratitude I have for the support you all give.

Here goes a little more.............. the downfall of management and the gang bang sec checks begin........

:bigcry:

It was also the time when the great “Life History” was put into effect. Now, just imagine being told that you had to lay bare your life - every single detail of every single sexual experience, with names and places and times - along with everything else about your life. Why we filled that stuff in I don’t know but I bet you there were a large majority who didn’t give up everything. One thing I can’t figure is why ones sexual experiences and with whom would matter in regards to qualifications for a post! No one in the “wog” world asks these questions.

Then of course came the big dismantling of management. First our fearless leaders were taken - those of us in management didn’t know what the hell was going on. We saw and heard things we didn’t understand fully. One day they were all called to “int” and were gone. Now they all were terrible Sps, some of these people had been there many years and had dedicated their lives to the Sea Org. They were treated horribly and were labelled and laughed at. And even if one didn’t laugh - one nervously agreed. Fear was an everyday thing. We had new commanding officers and new management people, but they came and went - people would get removed for the slightest things. Dumped in the RPF - that was a threat the constantly hung over our heads. Not just management people but everyone.

The RPF at Flag land base was no walk in the park - I know I ended up there. How was kind of strange and I still don’t know what I supposedly did to get there, but it happened. We (large majority of management) had all been called to PAC to be briefed on mission orders - the majority of management were being sent on missions to handle the orgs or continenents or whatever. Now understand this - this was when a lot of people had already blown and there were a few left. This was after Kerry Gleason, Alan Buchanan and David Mayo - after they were all declared and made the scapegoats. After the original CMO Int people were removed and David Miscavige took over. ALL of us were pulled to PAC for this mission business. Well, hey I was already a management Chief and running a mission into Mexico - my missionaire had been the Latam Mgmt Chief Sylvia Grout, she was currently there doing this mission, I was running her as we didn’t have any action bureau left. Doug D’Aubrey was the CO IMO. Someone found out about this mission - why they wouldn’t know is beyond me - all our telexes went through WDC anyways.

Well, guess someone up there didn’t like what was going on in Mexico and decided that the mission orders and the eval the mission orders were based off were wrong and that we (Doug and I) were pushing a known SP in Mexico (mind you I didn’t know who this person even was - I had heard their name before but had no involvement with this person in any way) and the eval and mission orders had been written by Sylvia and approved all the way through the lines - including through WDC. Even so - Doug and I were determined to be “heads on a pike” - this was our first experience with “Gang Bang” sec checking - I had heard of this but never experienced it or seen it. Talk about degradation! Being sat in a room full of the top Scientology Int Execs, including Marc Yager, Liz Ingber, Guilliame Lesevre - you name it they were there - being ordered to pick up the cans with a person on the other side of the meter for both Doug and I - we were sitting next to each other. I was flabbergasted! This was tech? This was Scientology? Now I knew for sure that it wasn’t it was someone’s idea of degradation, intimidation and an attempt to get “crimes” that didn’t exist. We were both accused of doing horrendous, immoral things.

I was accused of having an affair with this person I didn’t even know. Accused of doing horrible sexual things - that seemed to be a big thing with these people - sexual crimes! They all fired accusations at both of us. These accusations were screamed at us repeatedly by these top management people, one after the other. It was horrendous! By the time this was all said and done Doug and I were literally under the table locked in this room - I was rocking back and forth - in total grief. I don’t remember what Doug was doing - I couldn’t think with what had just happened. We were told we were evil, suppressive, destructive etc. Talk about intimidation. I don’t think I have ever felt so degraded in my life. I asked Liz who happens to be my sister, why she would do something like that was as far as I could see totally “out tech”. Why she would participate in something so wrong and so awful - her response - I had no choice - yes you did Liz - yes you did!!!

I do love my sister - I do forgive her, but it was wrong and that was the start of my no longer believing in what the Sea Org and everything else was all about. That was the beginning of the end for me.

Doug and I were escorted back to Clearwater - we were silent on the plane back - totally and utterly degraded! We were met and taken immediately to the RPF. I never got a straight answer as to what we did - we didn’t even bother asking for a comm ev as we both knew that we wouldn’t get out of it. We were also told that even if we did request a comm ev we would be found guilty so why bother.

The story continues...... believe it or not - it gets worse.

Ozzie:yes:
 
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Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
I knew Sylvia for years from the UK. Used to play Bridge with her after dinner in the early 70s. Later she gave me my Leaving Sec Check when I was in the PAC RPF's RPF in 1996 and she was the RPF's RPF Bosun. She was quite a decent sort then. I see she is back in the RPF now (Sylvia Crundall).

I exchanged a couple of messages six months ago with Doug D'Aubrey on Ecademy, a business networking site. I knew him from the UK too. I noticed he had just joined. I then told him what I was doing now, and never heard back from him. Guess he didn't like my Robot Auditor. :)

Paul
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
... and to think.. I got pissed at the treatment I got.. Heh.. I didn't have much stamina it seems.. :screwy:

Things got waaaay worse in that cult after I ran away! - This story makes me angry, furious.. What an offensive, stinking mess that organization is! :grouch:
 

Wisened One

Crusader
... and to think.. I got pissed at the treatment I got.. Heh.. I didn't have much stamina it seems.. :screwy:

Things got waaaay worse in that cult after I ran away! - This story makes me angry, furious.. What an offensive, stinking mess that organization is! :grouch:

Yeah, and the more people tell their stories, the more people we can keep from joining Scamology!!:yes:
 

nowout

Patron with Honors
Amazing story Ozzie, thanks for sharing the tough times. I guess they didn't get you and Doug to the examiner either after the gang bang, so there were no "red tags" for out Tech.
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
Really enjoying reading your story Ozzie.

Some things sound familiar,at the beginning.

When i left i knew it would get much worse and it surely did.
Sharon
 

duddins

Patron Meritorious
Arg....Life History Pjt! :angry:

Arg.....Mexican SPs! :grouch:

Your story gets closer to home Ozzie!

Much of it is intertwined with my own.

The Crasher of Continents (er um LATAM) understands what being the skapegoat for the f**k-ups of others does for the spirit!

I was spared the horrid treatment you recieved! I got out just in time.

This is an amazing read!
 

ozzie

Patron with Honors
Well I think this is the last installment - Ive kind of condensed everything. I hope I can open others eyes.

To each and everyone of you that reads this - thanks! It helps to have the support - especially to my wonderful friends FTS and Duddins - I love you ladies!

And Paul - Sylvia was a very good friend of mine - she was always a good sort! Seems like she has been in the RPF so many times...... I hope she comes through ok.


Let me go into a little bit about the RPF at Flag at the time - we (RPFers) had our “offices” in the car park of the Fort Harrison Hotel - many of us also slept there. Some of us did have bunks in a few rooms but the majority slept in the car park. We would take out our foam mattresses - less than an inch thick - and lay them out at night in the car park, sometimes on the top of the car park and sleep. That is if you were lucky to have a mattress. We would find little niches to do our auditing in - we ate after everyone else - if they were on rice and beans we were on rice and beans and that happened a lot at that time so most of our meals were leftover rice and beans. We were lucky if we got much as we got the leftovers. Nothing was cooked for us - we took what was left. Occasionally we got bread - they made their own bread then but it wasn’t a given. And of course no butter - even the regular crew only got margarine, most of the time we didn’t even get that. Our drink of course was tap water. Sometimes we got bug juice. If there was any left over. Pay was cut of course because we were RPF - then again regular pay for crew was for sometimes weeks on end not even given - so being in the RPF it was usually nothing.

We would at that times clean the publics rooms - yep even they wouldn’t talk to us and yep we even had to call them “Sir”. We cleaned all areas of the Fort Harrison we also at times had to clean the galley - which was always roach infested and of course clean the garbage areas where the dumpsters were - that meant getting into dumpsters and scrubbing them, we would stink and we couldn’t shower till the day was done - it was a hard life. Showering of course was done in one of the rooms that we were allocated. I think we had two rooms - one for guys and one for girls. Maybe a one minute or two at the most shower, mostly cold water as the hot water would be gone by 11pm when we got off.

I ended up being the RPF MAA - I would handle the people coming in to the RPF. I remember a lot of GO guys being busted by the Finance police at the time - they all would come totally stunned - never knowing what hit them. One in particular was so traumatized she couldn’t speak. I sat with that lady for days just trying to “destim” her. Then she cried and cried and cried. She didn’t know what she had done. She told me of the threats, the abuse she received, told me how she had been pushed up against a wall, screamed at by these “police”, told how fucked up she was, she said they got so close to her face she felt their spit. One had his hand around her neck and was strangling her, telling her to admit to her crimes. And my god, all I could do was hold her hand and listen. It sucked - there were many that came to the RPF at that time through the actions of the Finance police. They were just like Gestapo! In fact a few made comments of that nature - but softly and only to those who wouldn’t report them. It was a bad time. We also had one person chained in the boiler room - the only person in the RPFs RPF. This person was chained to the boiler - to stop them from blowing and was watched 24 hrs a day - I did a bit of that watching before becoming the MAA.
My attitude was one of help - I tried to help, I don’t know if I succeeded, but I do know I couldn’t scream at or hurt another human being - I felt so bad for some of these people. It seemed that everything was just falling apart. There were many victims during this time. Good people wasted and destroyed by the actions of a few mad individuals. There were certainly some individuals who fit right into the role of Finance Police - they looked like Gestapo, they acted like it and they relished in the fear and the control that they created and had. I can’t describe exactly what went through each of our minds during this time - some of it was incredulousness at what was occurring but most people at that time kept their thoughts to themselves for fear of being reported. It was a bad time then. Really bad.

I did complete the RPF that time - took me a few months. During that time I rarely saw my family - talk about guilt.

I, of course went back into management after completing, only this time there were very few management people left.

I think at the time I decided enough was enough, there were two management chiefs - me and one other, we worked day and night. Spent days and days without sleep, got daily telexes from our WDC terminals about what to do and what to push, did stat analysis of every single org and cont each week by ourselves. I was sent on a “do or die” mission during this time also - I was told - make it go right and handle the org or you’re done for. I did raise the stats of the org I was sent to, however the org was small, had no auditors and very few public on lines - wasn’t difficult to get someone in the field who could audit to come in and audit, so of course the stats went up.

At this time also my personal life had been in somewhat of a mess - my husband and I were close to divorce - won’t go into reasons but after 11 years it just was falling apart. I had been in the process of moving into a dorm when sent on this mission. The move was never finished as when I returned from this mission, the end of my career in management and in Clearwater was close. I wouldn’t stay more than a few weeks if that after my return.

It was a Thursday night and I had already been up for days - two people doing analysis of every single org, every cont. There were a lot of them. I was assigned a certain amount and the other person was assigned a certain amount. I finished mine - must have been about four am or maybe a little later. I hadn’t slept in about four days, I had already gone through my “second wind” more than once and couldn’t handle it any more. I had to sleep. I went home.

I couldn’t have been asleep more than an hour when there was a knock - well, banging on my door. “Get up you have to come in and finish the stat analysis (blank) is being sent on mission”. I could barely keep my eyes open, I could barely stand. I thought ENOUGH!!!!! I refused - and damn did it feel good! I refused to go in - I had also just found out that I was pregnant and I just could not handle the no sleep and the lousy food any more. I had to sleep - I just had to. That was the end of my career in management.

That same day after I came in after sleeping for about six hours I was informed by a missionaire that was now there from Int (didn’t know who she was but she was a mean bitch!) That I was going onto heavy, very heavy mest work. I told her I would not do heavy mest work I would do other work but would not endanger my baby. Her response was fuck you and your baby I don’t give a shit what happens to you or your fucking baby you will do what I say. I refused - told her to piss off that I had enough and would not follow her orders. Man did that feel good! I felt empowered for the first time in years. I wasn’t being a robot, I just could not take any more of the crap. I just couldn’t.

I spent about the next week working in mimeo and trying to get myself sorted out - what was I going to do and where was I going to go - I knew I was done there, but I didn’t have any money, my relatives that weren’t in the sea org were in another country and I had no place to go. I called someone who I ended up marrying later on. A die hard scieno till this day but I had no where else to turn. I found all my belongings missing and locked out of my room. I went to the MAA and asked for my belongings back, he told me they would sue me, I was an SP, I would never see my children again, that my husband was taking out a restraining order on me, that legal had been contacted and they would ensure I never got my kids. I was terrified of never seeing my children again.

I did get my stuff back - and I went to the nursery to get my children - I found that they were at the beach with their nannies - I found out later that it had been deliberately planned that they would be gone so I couldn’t take them with me. But fortunately one of the people at the nursery had not been informed of my “disaffection” and told me where they were.

My future husband and I went to the beach, along with all that I owned, which wasn’t much, to get my children. They were pleased to see me of course but their nannies weren’t! The main nanny decided I needed to be restrained and hit - she proceeded to put me in a head lock and then a body lock - she was a lot bigger than me and a lot stronger. She screamed at people that I was stealing these children, that I had deserted them, that their father had instructed them to keep me away as I was crazy. She punched me in the head and smacked me in the face and held me tight. My friend didn’t know what to do. I asked him to grab my kids and run - he just stood there. Unfortunately, this of course got the attention of people on the beach - I asked a man to call the police. Someone did and meanwhile my children were grabbed and put into a van and driven away. I didn’t see them for almost a year after that. These nannies told the police I had deserted my kids, that I had committed crimes against the church and for some reason they listened to them and told me there was nothing I could do about getting my kids back. They told me I would have to handle with their father and of course he wasn’t going to talk to me, I had just blown! I was devastated and the only thing I thought I could do was walk away. I don’t think I have ever seen a person gloat so much as that nanny who had held me and hit me.

I ended up moving across the country and trying to get my kids back. I went down to LA after management was moved there and I did finally see my children. My oldest daughter screamed and ran away from me - I couldn’t understand why - I found out later from her that they both had been told that I had intended to kill them after I took them away from their father, because I didn’t want them. Their father later told me he never knew any of this. They had believed it - she was afraid of me! It took a very long time to handle that.

I ended up going back into the Sea org. My new husband went with me but didn’t qualify due to LSD so we lived in LA and I worked at ASHO. I went back out of guilt. Buttons pushed on helping mankind, buttons pushed on my children - I wouldn’t get my daughters back till I had left for the second time and found that they were being neglected. I took them and never let them return after a visit. That took almost three years.

I should note that the nanny from earlier in my story had me pulled in for a court of ethics in LA with the CMO there. I was in labour at the time with my second son - was told a story about seeing someone briefly - this at 10.30 at night - on my way to the hospital to give birth. I was locked in a room with this nanny and a CMO girl and told I wouldn’t get out of there till I agreed to pay for the loss of this nannies bracelet which had been lost on the beach. I told this girl I was in labour - she didn’t care and said I was the one that blew therefore I had the overts and had to pay and couldn’t leave till I agreed. I did agree but I never paid for that bracelet. My son was born 10 minutes after getting to the hospital. Wonderful people - just wonderful!

I also at the time of being in LA at ASHO was called in by my sisters to a phone call from my parents who had moved back to Australia from England some years earlier. It seems that when the shit hit the fan on all the missions my parents who had been taking services at one of these missions in Perth had decided that the declaring of the mission holder and the labeling of him being squirrel was wrong. My father who had been taking services at this mission continued to do so even though the mission holder was declared. He couldn’t see how there was any squirreling going on. There wasn’t - but hey most of the mission holders at the time had been declared squirrel and gotten rid of. This was one of many.

Anyway it seems that my sister had apparently been trying to “handle” my parents - unsuccessfully. I hadn’t talked to my parents in some time, I wasn’t aware of what was going on and had a good conversation with both of them. Telling them I loved them etc. My sister proceeded to get on the phone and started screaming at them. Cussing and telling my mother how my dad was an SP. Her husband also got on the phone and did the same. She told my parents that they were disconnecting from them and that my father would be declared. He was.

My mother refused to disconnect from my dad. I agreed to disconnect, but it was one of many things that was wrong and when I left for the last time I reconnected with them and have been in contact with them since. I also have reconnected with others who are declared - people I have known in some cases for over forty years.

I was however married to a Scientologist and a fanatic one at that - I remained one for some years after and not until the last few years did I finally decide that I couldn’t be one any more. This after finding out certain things from my kids about what was done to them and others at the cadet org. And after finding my brother had blown, I got on the internet and tried finding him to no avail. He hasn’t contacted any of his family. My parents just want him back in their lives. My sister hasn’t responded to any of my letters or calls for the last ten years and it was only recently that I found from some of those recently out that she was in the SP hall.

This is my major reason for being here on this board. My family!
I have laid low due to living with my ex husband and not having the finances to live by myself. And that is why I have laid low, not said anything, not been involved in anything that has been going on. Lurking and reading and learning more. I recently found out that my sister had contacted my older brother and had told him to ignore all the information coming out from anonymous. She told him all of it was lies. I decided screw it. It is time to tell. My own personal safety doesn’t mean much when there are those that need help. So here is my story. I hope I open some eyes and I hope that those “in” read and see what this scam of a Church does to people.

They haven’t stopped, they have just gotten worse.

If my sisters don’t see the truth then all I can do is let it be.
I just want them to know I love them - I am here and if they need me I will come and get them.

Ozzie
 

Terril park

Sponsor
[snip]

My own personal safety doesn’t mean much when there are those that need help. So here is my story. I hope I open some eyes and I hope that those “in” read and see what this scam of a Church does to people.

They haven’t stopped, they have just gotten worse.

If my sisters don’t see the truth then all I can do is let it be.
I just want them to know I love them - I am here and if they need me I will come and get them.

Ozzie


Well OK! You've got me to reinforce my knight in shining armour valence.

Was Chuck Beatty I believe set up a website for those in need of help.
With phone numbers to call. One was mine. 0208-864-4940
This is London UK. or [email protected]

Currently travelling in the US, but calls can be relayed. Also I have wide
connections with Freezoners worldwide, some, many, I hope may be willing to help.

So who do you call : COS busters. :)

Well........ See my mentors below. :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If5phlHLOeQ
 

Terril park

Sponsor
[snip]

It was a Thursday night and I had already been up for days - two people doing analysis of every single org, every cont. There were a lot of them. I was assigned a certain amount and the other person was assigned a certain amount. I finished mine - must have been about four am or maybe a little later. I hadn’t slept in about four days, I had already gone through my “second wind” more than once and couldn’t handle it any more. I had to sleep. I went home.
[snip]

Ozzie

You mean a data series analysis?

Its an area i'm very curious about. A beginer data analyst.
 

gomorrhan

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thanks for your story, Ozzie. It amazes me the cruelty people in a group will do to each other, when the idea, to me, is clearing, sanity and love. I am so glad you are finding your way out of the insanity, "enturbulation" and games of cruelty and hatred. I hope you find the help you may need to come completely out. I hope your husband has the clarity and responsibility to confront what you are saying and doing. I hope he sees you with love, and treats you with respect, and stands by your side. Surely he has seen some of this abuse himself.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Oh Ozzie...shit shit shit. :bigcry: :bigcry:

I thought I had read the worst it could get. OMG, those two incidents with your children on the beach and the one in labour is just beyond words. I need to go take a walk before I write anymore. :grouch:
....

Ok. I hope karma rolls around for that nanny. And I KNOW it will for the organisation. I almost feel survivours guilt for having escaped these extremes, because I came close. I am so sad that you experienced this, so very sad. Mothers and children should never be exposed to such criminal and indecent treatment from anyone, let alone "a church". Fucking bullshit.

....

And as a matter of interest, it is very probable that the man who raped Ozzie was the one who raped me. The time frame and description match. How sick is that? We both suffered for decades because of it, two innocent young teenagers who could not tell anyone. I wonder how many more there are?

......

At least we are here together nearly 40 years later. Bless you my friend, for having the courage to do this. Please, if there are any problems make them as publicly known as possible, immediately. You have support and friends. We are not alone anymore. Love ya!

Another walk needed....
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
I know that many people will read these stories and say "Oh it's terrible the things that happened in the past, it doesn't happen now". Well a quick flick through the stories emerging, like ChaoticPyschotic's etc, or ExScn Kids, will show that is not true.

It does happen now and is probably worse.

That statement above was made to me less than a month ago. I was even told - wait for it - the WHO had been found! :happydance: I wonder which one that was of the never ending heads on pikes? Mayo, Franks, the flavour of the month? It was suggested I "write it all up for the church". :melodramatic: The purpose was to stop me posting here. Ain't gonna happen.

Thankyou everyone for telling your stories like this. For us oldtimers and 2nd/3rd generation it is especially significant, after almost a lifetime of being shuddered into silence.

It is current, it is present and a lot worse than most people know.
 
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