Well I think this is the last installment - Ive kind of condensed everything. I hope I can open others eyes.
To each and everyone of you that reads this - thanks! It helps to have the support - especially to my wonderful friends FTS and Duddins - I love you ladies!
And Paul - Sylvia was a very good friend of mine - she was always a good sort! Seems like she has been in the RPF so many times...... I hope she comes through ok.
Let me go into a little bit about the RPF at Flag at the time - we (RPFers) had our “offices” in the car park of the Fort Harrison Hotel - many of us also slept there. Some of us did have bunks in a few rooms but the majority slept in the car park. We would take out our foam mattresses - less than an inch thick - and lay them out at night in the car park, sometimes on the top of the car park and sleep. That is if you were lucky to have a mattress. We would find little niches to do our auditing in - we ate after everyone else - if they were on rice and beans we were on rice and beans and that happened a lot at that time so most of our meals were leftover rice and beans. We were lucky if we got much as we got the leftovers. Nothing was cooked for us - we took what was left. Occasionally we got bread - they made their own bread then but it wasn’t a given. And of course no butter - even the regular crew only got margarine, most of the time we didn’t even get that. Our drink of course was tap water. Sometimes we got bug juice. If there was any left over. Pay was cut of course because we were RPF - then again regular pay for crew was for sometimes weeks on end not even given - so being in the RPF it was usually nothing.
We would at that times clean the publics rooms - yep even they wouldn’t talk to us and yep we even had to call them “Sir”. We cleaned all areas of the Fort Harrison we also at times had to clean the galley - which was always roach infested and of course clean the garbage areas where the dumpsters were - that meant getting into dumpsters and scrubbing them, we would stink and we couldn’t shower till the day was done - it was a hard life. Showering of course was done in one of the rooms that we were allocated. I think we had two rooms - one for guys and one for girls. Maybe a one minute or two at the most shower, mostly cold water as the hot water would be gone by 11pm when we got off.
I ended up being the RPF MAA - I would handle the people coming in to the RPF. I remember a lot of GO guys being busted by the Finance police at the time - they all would come totally stunned - never knowing what hit them. One in particular was so traumatized she couldn’t speak. I sat with that lady for days just trying to “destim” her. Then she cried and cried and cried. She didn’t know what she had done. She told me of the threats, the abuse she received, told me how she had been pushed up against a wall, screamed at by these “police”, told how fucked up she was, she said they got so close to her face she felt their spit. One had his hand around her neck and was strangling her, telling her to admit to her crimes. And my god, all I could do was hold her hand and listen. It sucked - there were many that came to the RPF at that time through the actions of the Finance police. They were just like Gestapo! In fact a few made comments of that nature - but softly and only to those who wouldn’t report them. It was a bad time. We also had one person chained in the boiler room - the only person in the RPFs RPF. This person was chained to the boiler - to stop them from blowing and was watched 24 hrs a day - I did a bit of that watching before becoming the MAA.
My attitude was one of help - I tried to help, I don’t know if I succeeded, but I do know I couldn’t scream at or hurt another human being - I felt so bad for some of these people. It seemed that everything was just falling apart. There were many victims during this time. Good people wasted and destroyed by the actions of a few mad individuals. There were certainly some individuals who fit right into the role of Finance Police - they looked like Gestapo, they acted like it and they relished in the fear and the control that they created and had. I can’t describe exactly what went through each of our minds during this time - some of it was incredulousness at what was occurring but most people at that time kept their thoughts to themselves for fear of being reported. It was a bad time then. Really bad.
I did complete the RPF that time - took me a few months. During that time I rarely saw my family - talk about guilt.
I, of course went back into management after completing, only this time there were very few management people left.
I think at the time I decided enough was enough, there were two management chiefs - me and one other, we worked day and night. Spent days and days without sleep, got daily telexes from our WDC terminals about what to do and what to push, did stat analysis of every single org and cont each week by ourselves. I was sent on a “do or die” mission during this time also - I was told - make it go right and handle the org or you’re done for. I did raise the stats of the org I was sent to, however the org was small, had no auditors and very few public on lines - wasn’t difficult to get someone in the field who could audit to come in and audit, so of course the stats went up.
At this time also my personal life had been in somewhat of a mess - my husband and I were close to divorce - won’t go into reasons but after 11 years it just was falling apart. I had been in the process of moving into a dorm when sent on this mission. The move was never finished as when I returned from this mission, the end of my career in management and in Clearwater was close. I wouldn’t stay more than a few weeks if that after my return.
It was a Thursday night and I had already been up for days - two people doing analysis of every single org, every cont. There were a lot of them. I was assigned a certain amount and the other person was assigned a certain amount. I finished mine - must have been about four am or maybe a little later. I hadn’t slept in about four days, I had already gone through my “second wind” more than once and couldn’t handle it any more. I had to sleep. I went home.
I couldn’t have been asleep more than an hour when there was a knock - well, banging on my door. “Get up you have to come in and finish the stat analysis (blank) is being sent on mission”. I could barely keep my eyes open, I could barely stand. I thought ENOUGH!!!!! I refused - and damn did it feel good! I refused to go in - I had also just found out that I was pregnant and I just could not handle the no sleep and the lousy food any more. I had to sleep - I just had to. That was the end of my career in management.
That same day after I came in after sleeping for about six hours I was informed by a missionaire that was now there from Int (didn’t know who she was but she was a mean bitch!) That I was going onto heavy, very heavy mest work. I told her I would not do heavy mest work I would do other work but would not endanger my baby. Her response was fuck you and your baby I don’t give a shit what happens to you or your fucking baby you will do what I say. I refused - told her to piss off that I had enough and would not follow her orders. Man did that feel good! I felt empowered for the first time in years. I wasn’t being a robot, I just could not take any more of the crap. I just couldn’t.
I spent about the next week working in mimeo and trying to get myself sorted out - what was I going to do and where was I going to go - I knew I was done there, but I didn’t have any money, my relatives that weren’t in the sea org were in another country and I had no place to go. I called someone who I ended up marrying later on. A die hard scieno till this day but I had no where else to turn. I found all my belongings missing and locked out of my room. I went to the MAA and asked for my belongings back, he told me they would sue me, I was an SP, I would never see my children again, that my husband was taking out a restraining order on me, that legal had been contacted and they would ensure I never got my kids. I was terrified of never seeing my children again.
I did get my stuff back - and I went to the nursery to get my children - I found that they were at the beach with their nannies - I found out later that it had been deliberately planned that they would be gone so I couldn’t take them with me. But fortunately one of the people at the nursery had not been informed of my “disaffection” and told me where they were.
My future husband and I went to the beach, along with all that I owned, which wasn’t much, to get my children. They were pleased to see me of course but their nannies weren’t! The main nanny decided I needed to be restrained and hit - she proceeded to put me in a head lock and then a body lock - she was a lot bigger than me and a lot stronger. She screamed at people that I was stealing these children, that I had deserted them, that their father had instructed them to keep me away as I was crazy. She punched me in the head and smacked me in the face and held me tight. My friend didn’t know what to do. I asked him to grab my kids and run - he just stood there. Unfortunately, this of course got the attention of people on the beach - I asked a man to call the police. Someone did and meanwhile my children were grabbed and put into a van and driven away. I didn’t see them for almost a year after that. These nannies told the police I had deserted my kids, that I had committed crimes against the church and for some reason they listened to them and told me there was nothing I could do about getting my kids back. They told me I would have to handle with their father and of course he wasn’t going to talk to me, I had just blown! I was devastated and the only thing I thought I could do was walk away. I don’t think I have ever seen a person gloat so much as that nanny who had held me and hit me.
I ended up moving across the country and trying to get my kids back. I went down to LA after management was moved there and I did finally see my children. My oldest daughter screamed and ran away from me - I couldn’t understand why - I found out later from her that they both had been told that I had intended to kill them after I took them away from their father, because I didn’t want them. Their father later told me he never knew any of this. They had believed it - she was afraid of me! It took a very long time to handle that.
I ended up going back into the Sea org. My new husband went with me but didn’t qualify due to LSD so we lived in LA and I worked at ASHO. I went back out of guilt. Buttons pushed on helping mankind, buttons pushed on my children - I wouldn’t get my daughters back till I had left for the second time and found that they were being neglected. I took them and never let them return after a visit. That took almost three years.
I should note that the nanny from earlier in my story had me pulled in for a court of ethics in LA with the CMO there. I was in labour at the time with my second son - was told a story about seeing someone briefly - this at 10.30 at night - on my way to the hospital to give birth. I was locked in a room with this nanny and a CMO girl and told I wouldn’t get out of there till I agreed to pay for the loss of this nannies bracelet which had been lost on the beach. I told this girl I was in labour - she didn’t care and said I was the one that blew therefore I had the overts and had to pay and couldn’t leave till I agreed. I did agree but I never paid for that bracelet. My son was born 10 minutes after getting to the hospital. Wonderful people - just wonderful!
I also at the time of being in LA at ASHO was called in by my sisters to a phone call from my parents who had moved back to Australia from England some years earlier. It seems that when the shit hit the fan on all the missions my parents who had been taking services at one of these missions in Perth had decided that the declaring of the mission holder and the labeling of him being squirrel was wrong. My father who had been taking services at this mission continued to do so even though the mission holder was declared. He couldn’t see how there was any squirreling going on. There wasn’t - but hey most of the mission holders at the time had been declared squirrel and gotten rid of. This was one of many.
Anyway it seems that my sister had apparently been trying to “handle” my parents - unsuccessfully. I hadn’t talked to my parents in some time, I wasn’t aware of what was going on and had a good conversation with both of them. Telling them I loved them etc. My sister proceeded to get on the phone and started screaming at them. Cussing and telling my mother how my dad was an SP. Her husband also got on the phone and did the same. She told my parents that they were disconnecting from them and that my father would be declared. He was.
My mother refused to disconnect from my dad. I agreed to disconnect, but it was one of many things that was wrong and when I left for the last time I reconnected with them and have been in contact with them since. I also have reconnected with others who are declared - people I have known in some cases for over forty years.
I was however married to a Scientologist and a fanatic one at that - I remained one for some years after and not until the last few years did I finally decide that I couldn’t be one any more. This after finding out certain things from my kids about what was done to them and others at the cadet org. And after finding my brother had blown, I got on the internet and tried finding him to no avail. He hasn’t contacted any of his family. My parents just want him back in their lives. My sister hasn’t responded to any of my letters or calls for the last ten years and it was only recently that I found from some of those recently out that she was in the SP hall.
This is my major reason for being here on this board. My family!
I have laid low due to living with my ex husband and not having the finances to live by myself. And that is why I have laid low, not said anything, not been involved in anything that has been going on. Lurking and reading and learning more. I recently found out that my sister had contacted my older brother and had told him to ignore all the information coming out from anonymous. She told him all of it was lies. I decided screw it. It is time to tell. My own personal safety doesn’t mean much when there are those that need help. So here is my story. I hope I open some eyes and I hope that those “in” read and see what this scam of a Church does to people.
They haven’t stopped, they have just gotten worse.
If my sisters don’t see the truth then all I can do is let it be.
I just want them to know I love them - I am here and if they need me I will come and get them.
Ozzie