So, my story is kind of crazy. Where to start. I was raised in Scientology. My parents were raised in Scientology as well, for the most part. Most of my life I grew up not really understanding this language that my parents were speaking. I remember my mother asking me when I wanted to start (scientology), and I was about age eight or so, and I told her when I was 11. I felt a certain kind of pressure, like I HAD to become one. That it was very important and that it was the only way she'd be proud of me. I was an only child and my mom was told she could not have anymore kids, so I always felt like I had to make up for that.So, I started it. At first, it made sense, and I was always a bit of a free spirit and loved the idea that I was an immortal being who could potentially have infinite powers. I did the lower levels, the study tech, etc. I had some auditing done, and even visited Flag a couple times with my mom and dad. I eventually went "clear". However, something didn't feel right. I had all these questions, I was always told that anyone who attacked Scientology were criminals and degraded beings, or SP's and I didn't want to be one of those. I wanted to make my parents proud of me. I never even made it to the OT levels before realizing that my parents were a part of a cult. A dangerous one at that. I knew what the church would have my parents do if I disagreed with it. I loved my parents......but finally I couldn't take it anymore. I told them that I didn't want to be a Scientologist anymore. I will never forget their expressions that day. It was as if I had told them the worst news anyone could hear, they tried for hours to change my mind, asking me what overts I'd done, etc, it was torture, but I'd made up my mind. Eventually both of them told me to get out. I was in college at the time, and only had a minimum wage part time job. I ended up having to stay with friends for awhile.....but because of the stress of being estranged from my parents I ended up dropping out of college. It's been a few years now since then, and I've been to countless therapy sessions, etc. I finally managed to get back into college, but my entire life has been ripped apart by this religion. I've been diagnosed with depression, and I can't seem to shake it away because the parents I love so much won't even talk to me even after all this time. I guess I am just looking for some kind of solace in this messageboard. Has anyone else here been through this? If so, any kind of help you can give me to get out of this rut, or maybe even get my parents to see the truth, would be greatly appreciated.