Today is the day I thank God for every year especially, among the other days of the year for my freedom from that cult.
February 7, 1991 was my day, the day I walked free out the doors of CLO EUS. I had my boxes piled up from the reception desk and in a straight line back through the entry way for anyone coming and going to see as I piled them into the van my friend brought to load my stuff and leave.
Nobody searched my boxes, nobody sec checked me. A few people questioned what was going on and I said, "I am leaving."
The first thing we did before leaving NYC was go to a restaurant, of all places one that cooked indian food.
I can't stand curry. I don't remember what I ordered but it was full of freedom seasoning and was the best meal I had had in 2.5 years.
I have been thinking over the past month or so since finding ESMB how my life would have been completely different if I had just blown like I was tempted so many times while in. I could have, I really should have. It would have granted me the same freedom from being chained to them. But, would not have led me to the life I have currently which I love and appreciate, and give complete recognition for the path that God showed me, and absolutely nothing that Scientology had to offer me.
To SCN, I was worthless, my post was required and they just used me to fill the spot. The person they replaced me with was routed out by me a few months earlier as a security threat because he had originated that he was only in SCN to discover what LRH had done so he could invent his own bridge. I don't know how the hell he got back in after he routed out, but on my freedom day he was on my post.
I spent most of my time there programming and networking their computer system. Had I blown, I would not have had that experience that I taught myself through reading manuals, and online help documentation. SCN did not teach me how to do it, I did it myself. They wanted me to do my post, but they all benefited from what I was really doing for them on the computer. (edited info) When I first brought up the idea of me programming their computer system, Carl Askew (CMO) wanted to know why I would want to do that since it wasn't my post. I told him I have programming experience and it would likely save lots of wasted time. He blew later, I did the programming despite their objections, and other than whatever happened after I left, I know I saved them countless upallnighter stat evolutions. (end of edit)
After I left I figured within a month the whole system would crash since nobody there could maintain all the programs I had written and had in place.
I used what I learned, by myself, after getting out to do computer consulting as a way to gain other jobs. Had I blown, I would have done something different, but would have been free likewise. It is hard for me to understand how different my life would have been had I not stayed and worked my plan. I remember just after finishing a program I said to myself, "it is done, please God can you help get me out of here." Very soon after that, maybe a week, God showed me the path when someone broke in and stole a VCR from the dining room. I have no idea who it was or how it happened, but I used that to free me from them.
That morning they woke me up to tell me the VCR had been stolen. It suddenly was a clear vision in my mind exactly how I could use this to get the hell out of there.
They removed me from post and put me on some disgusting MEST work in the boiler room. but the idiots left me on the same schedule hoping to put me back on post. They put me in confusion and expected me to do the formulas to get back there.
I had something else lined up for them though, FO13 which stated that anyone trying to put me back on post would acquire my condition. They tried to put me on the meter to figure out what I was doing, but at the beginning they asked if I had enough food and sleep. I told the auditor I hadn't eaten in days. That was the next step because they stopped the meter session right then and tried to get me to eat something. I refused, they sent me to bed. This went on for days. They thought I was starving. I look the part I was playing very well, I am 6' 7" and I only weigh 150 lbs.
Leaving me on my night schedule was utterly stupid, I went to the kitchen and ate any leftovers I found in the fridge. I also still had complete access to the computer systems, I had so many back door root access identities that they never knew about. I had programmed each of the login identities to scrub the logging history so they couldn't be traced after I used them. I also had a keystroke logging system built into all my programs so I could see what keys anyone typed. Mainly, I used that to fix errors and adjust things for the programs, but it also came in handy if I needed to see what they were doing about me from time to time.
After about 4 or 5 days, maybe a week they were getting worried because they really thought I was starving myself. They called a friend of mine to have him come get me and hold me up in a hotel for a month until I was well enough to return.
The night before he showed up to get me, Incomm called and they wanted me to process some telexes for the Comm chief so they would be on the desks in the morning. That was something they had me do all the time while the Comm chief was sleeping. Incomm didn't know I was off post and in confusion though and locally this time they had the door to the telex computers locked. I dragged a chair over, climbed over the cubicle wall and went to process the telexes. Oh wait, they also changed the passwords so I couldn't do that.
No big deal for me at that point. I won't tell the details of what I did to fix this stop, but I did, no big deal for me at that point, then I processed the telexes, placed them on the desks as Incomm wanted, and told the Incomm guy it was done. That was apparently a big no no on my part because the Comm chief and the CO grilled me to find out how I did what I did. I just acted starved and no intelligencia to convince them that I had no idea how I did it, just "made it go right."
They were yelling back and forth at each other that I could not have possibly done that and they had to find out how I did it. The CO said: "what is he, some 2 bit hacker? How did he do that, Incomm needs to know." (I can assure you, Mr. Henderson, I was way way way more than some 2 bit hacker, had anyone ever paid enough attention to what I can do with computers, too bad you all took it for granted, Your entire staff benefited from my "2 bit" hackery - I am so sure it didn't last much after I left, and oh, btw, if it was all still running, did anyone ever notice the trojans I implanted? I spent weeks testing them.)
The next day, February 7, was the day I walked free.
Thank you God! Thank you to my friend, and absolutely No Thank you to Scientology and the S.O.!
I am free, this is my day, may God show the path to freedom in whatever way to those still imprisoned by SCN and the S.O.
Really, I give my vote to just blowing right now and don't look back. But, if you got a plan going on, do it, make it happen and leave with the knowledge that YOU are in control of your freedom, not them.
May God bless all of the people who need it, and all those on ESMB! Thank you.
I have lots more to this story, but that is what came out of my fingers tonight.
Have a happy Freedom day no matter what day that is for you! I am and have been enjoying mine!
(as Paul Harvey might have added: "heh heh, and now you know the MEST of the story, however, there is quite a bit more, this was freedom day tale")