What got you in? What made you stay?

[Bea Kiddo]

I'd be interested in peoples mini stories of what got them into the Church of Scientology and what made them stay. I am curious if it is the same thing or not.

Without getting into your specific story, can you all state something about it?


-----

For me, I got in by being born into it. No self determinism at all. I stayed because, well, why did I? No idea.

Good question. :confused2:

I'll have to figure out my own answer to that one. I will post it when I figure it out.

-----

But others? A win on something? It helped you quit smoking? Stopped beating wife? Got off drugs? Became happier? Found something to do? Discovered it might have the answers to life and the universe?


Peace out.

 

[Tanstaafl]

How I got in - I got good wins on others using Book One and got promo saying you could now get much better results, much faster.

Why I stayed in - I had my head up my arse. The contradictions between the claims and the practice seemed to hang me up. Also, I was really motivated to achieve "stably exterior with full perception". Being British, I was far too reserved and polite to go around asking "OTs" what they could do. Now I know the answer: "fuck all".

 

[nw2394]

For me, I got in by being born into it. No self determinism at all. I stayed because, well, why did I? No idea.

Good question. :confused2:

I'll have to figure out my own answer to that one. I will post it when I figure it out.

Try telling us about why you got in in the previous lifetime.

Me, this L/T, I got body routed off the street in Edinburgh. Had been in a relationship with a girl and she had wanted to move on and, frankly I was a bit caved in about it. They sold me a comm course and I, well relatively speaking anyway, snapped back into PT.

Last L/T, about all I recall is finding a copy of DMSMH in a second hand book shop in about 52. I can't fully explain why even now, but I just felt drawn to it.

There are earlier similars on the track too. I have, however, already violated the reality of the more critical on this list, so you'll forgive me not writing a book about it all.

Nick

 

[Tanstaafl]

There are earlier similars on the track too. I have, however, already violated the reality of the more critical on this list, so you'll forgive me not writing a book about it all.

To hell with them! I want to hear more - I love this kinda stuff.

 

[Bea Kiddo]

Try telling us about why you got in in the previous lifetime.

Me, this L/T, I got body routed off the street in Edinburgh. Had been in a relationship with a girl and she had wanted to move on and, frankly I was a bit caved in about it. They sold me a comm course and I, well relatively speaking anyway, snapped back into PT.

Last L/T, about all I recall is finding a copy of DMSMH in a second hand book shop in about 52. I can't fully explain why even now, but I just felt drawn to it.

There are earlier similars on the track too. I have, however, already violated the reality of the more critical on this list, so you'll forgive me not writing a book about it all.

Nick

I dont mind. What came up in session, truth or not:

I was living in the south (and slightly east) of England with my parents on an estate. I got fed up with them and the lifestyle when I was 16 and took off. I ended up in London. Walked right past an org of some sort. Was offered a free test or something and went in.

I was getting away from my family.

I did not spot the ruin from then either that made me go in, or stay. (But I will ramble to see what comes up here).

I was extremely short tempered.

I know I blamed myself for a lesbian friend killing herself at too young an age. I did not have any relation with her except friends. She told me about her problem (as she stated it) and caved in. I tried to help her and couldnt. My family never raised me, even then. My parents had me raised by a maid. My mother couldn't stand having me around. She disliked children. My father was too occupied with work to notice.

After I took off and joined the church, my mother did take an interest in me and tried to be loving. But for me, I was already gone.

I disconnected from them several times during auditing back then (like the old disconnection where you would just disconnect for a few days).

Probably frustrated the heck out of them.

If it's true at all.

Boy, I am full of suprizes, eh?

 

[Vinaire]

I'd be interested in peoples mini stories of what got them into the Church of Scientology and what made them stay. I am curious if it is the same thing or not.

Without getting into your specific story, can you all state something about it?

I got in because I hoped to handle problem with my back. I did handle that problem.

I stayed in as long as I felt Scientology was helpful.

I got out when I felt Scientology had stopped being helpful.

I maintained my self-determinism throughout this cycle. I am still in communication wth selected Scientologist and promoting my viewpoint on a gradient that is real to them. Here is an excerpt from my recent email to a Scientologist:


Handling MUs takes times. Some people who know nothing about math expect to be fixed so they can pass their next test. This is like asking for producing a "one-shot clear." Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Hard work is needed to earn rewards.

It was nice talking to you today. I find that Flag has royally squirreled on my ethics cycle. Tampa Org hasn't scored high in my book on ethics handling either, so I am keeping my distance from Flag and other Scientology organizations, because the whole thing is just one system. Unfortunately, it is being squirreled and that has to come from the top.

My why for this squirreling is as follows:

ETHICS IS BEING USED LESS AND LESS AS RATIONALITY, AND MORE AND MORE AS PUNISHMENT.

LRH says that if ethics is out, tech and admin will be out too. That is because ethics is rationality, and without rationality, one would not be able to apply tech and admin properly. So, I find myself unable to trust the Scientology organizations for producing the results that LRH expected. It is unfortunate, but I refuse to go along with this squirreling.

But please do not be influenced by my observations. Make your own observations and act accordingly.

.

 

[nw2394]

To hell with them! I want to hear more - I love this kinda stuff.

No. Sorry. It is a heavy area and the earliest earlier similar - well - I don't intend to go into session right now and use this message board as a worksheet. This is an insufficiently safe space.

I can tell you that there was more to what was going on in Inc 2 than mere "population control".

Where, for example, do you think that implanters got the items to put in an implant?

Why would many implants be similar to earlier ones?

Do you think that implanters would have done the necessary research to come up with these incidents themselves? Or would they have stolen it from other people? Might those other people have perhaps had better intent than the implanters?

That is just one sort of earlier similar. Some religions on this planet are earlier similars too.

Nick

 

[Tanstaafl]

I was living in the south (and slightly east) of England with my parents on an estate. I got fed up with them and the lifestyle when I was 16 and took off. I ended up in London. Walked right past an org of some sort. Was offered a free test or something and went in.

Bea's a Brit! I knew it! :dance2:

 

[nw2394]

I dont mind. What came up in session, truth or not:

I was living in the south (and slightly east) of England with my parents on an estate. I got fed up with them and the lifestyle when I was 16 and took off. I ended up in London. Walked right past an org of some sort. Was offered a free test or something and went in.

I was getting away from my family.

I did not spot the ruin from then either that made me go in, or stay. (But I will ramble to see what comes up here).

I was extremely short tempered.

I know I blamed myself for a lesbian friend killing herself at too young an age. I did not have any relation with her except friends. She told me about her problem (as she stated it) and caved in. I tried to help her and couldnt. My family never raised me, even then. My parents had me raised by a maid. My mother couldn't stand having me around. She disliked children. My father was too occupied with work to notice.

After I took off and joined the church, my mother did take an interest in me and tried to be loving. But for me, I was already gone.

I disconnected from them several times during auditing back then (like the old disconnection where you would just disconnect for a few days).

Probably frustrated the heck out of them.

If it's true at all.

Boy, I am full of suprizes, eh?

Thanks for saying.

Sometimes people get in to get a ruin handled. This L/T I did. Last one, no. Have been interested in what one might loosely call counselling for a long time.

Have you ever contacted your friend since? I mean in session primarily.

I have sometimes run across previous relatives, friends, colleagues in session and run somethng appropriate. Even had a suppressed persons R/D type EP after when another person from the same time period, who had been giving me a hard time, says something to the effect of "Hi, I see you weren't such a miscreant after all"

It is nice when one's mother in law from yonks and yonks ago finally forgives you for being, in her view of the time at least, an inadequate SOB for her darling daughter. F...ing magic actually.

Just saying this as it might give some sort of encouragement...

Nick

 

[Steven James]

I had Diaentics highly recommended to me by two non-Scientologists.

I also read the OT data which seemed to tie in with some research that I had done.

I walked into London Org in Tottenham Court Road and took the Book1 course. I did have one session where I felt very good afterwards. After that session Book 1 became irrelevant. Think I rehabbed the state of Clear there and then.

I joined staff and did the Purif, TR's & Obj, Int Rundown, Basic Study Manual, Staff Status 0,1 & 2. Then moved onto the Student Hat.

I stayed, well, not for two long, less than 18months. My health was getting worse and my dynamics were in an appalling state. It became a fruitless exercise as I was not allowed the time to come off post and handle family matters or employment matters. I tried to route off. It was pointless. I woke up one day and asked myself 'what is it I want and need to do today' and that is what I did. Did not answer any call from London Org.

As for last lifetime/s. I don't know if others feel this way, but those you cross swords with now are often those you crossed paths with on the track of time. The nagging wife etc etc. Karma is asking for a handling maybe.

 

[tessa]

What got you in?What made you stay?

I was brought up in a village ,no water at the time, no electricity and no tv .Well i made the postulate to know about life, to travel and yes to Know about the mind.I knew as a career i wanted to be a Psycologist or something like that Well in the country i was raised was no work study progams and of course no help from the family. At 21 one with practically no money and no language skills i took myself to north america.Few years later i was cruising the oceans after convincing the Junta in Argentina to let me go out in the ocean when my engineer boyfriend was waiting in line with a cargo ship. In 82 divorced and bored was what next?Sure i was bored .I got the flyer went to the org got about 15 hours dianetic auditing went clear!Then Int run Great ,I was for a couple weeks with a frozen smile in my face ,felt no mass of my body ,needed barely no sleep.I knew i could be as powerful as i wanted and as well that i had the choise to do also bad.I also knew i was ready to move on to stabilize that condition . I was aware of all the crap and complained i even asked to show me where the money goes.So i got all the wrong indications these guys knew nothing where i was coming from ?So i got more lists and more sec checks till i was found clear.WHY i stayed even though at all times was aware of all the shit Is because i was hoping To correct The bad auditing that i got.I left scientology totally feeling misurdestood and with many wrong indications.:tessa

 

[Div6]

That is an amazing story tessa. What a reach you have!

Me? I read DMSMH....then I read every other book he wrote. Went ext on the purif and told myself "this was home". And it was, for a good 15 years or so, until an evil gnome unsourced source and re-sourced source as himself...

I stayed because I got results both personally, and in applying it to others.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

Was in last life. (I even have a good idea of who I was.)

This lifetime, though- different story. Dad was into it and used to mention it a lot.

When I was in high school I had a bunch of term papers due at the same time and was very nervous. He recommended some basic Scn courses to calm me down, but only if I wanted to do them. So I did, and it felt right, and I stayed. I liked the information.

Stayed in against my better judgment- was scared of losing salvation (so to speak) because I didn't think "Squirrels" could deliver tech. (this was incorrect). Plus took me a while to ditch the indoctrination that Hubbard was always right, CofS is fine, etc, etc, yadda yadda.

Started talking to Scientologists who actually were quite critical of the organization and even of Hubbard, in some cases, and was able to start evaluating what I'd read, etc.

This had far more credibility than the supposedly highly trained people (ex members/critics) who mainly used that to whap me in the face with it instead of actually helping me understand anything.

Thus, I was able to step away. Finally, I was able to walk away. I'd never ever have been able to do that without the "false data stripping" (to use Scn terminology) I received from some Scn'ists which enabled me to give some ex members and other critics a fair hearing, as well.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

I was brought up in a village ,no water at the time, no electricity and no tv .Well i made the postulate to know about life, to travel and yes to Know about the mind.I knew as a career i wanted to be a Psycologist or something like that Well in the country i was raised was no work study progams and of course no help from the family. At 21 one with practically no money and no language skills i took myself to north america.Few years later i was cruising the oceans after convincing the Junta in Argentina to let me go out in the ocean when my engineer boyfriend was waiting in line with a cargo ship. In 82 divorced and bored was what next?Sure i was bored .I got the flyer went to the org got about 15 hours dianetic auditing went clear!Then Int run Great ,I was for a couple weeks with a frozen smile in my face ,felt no mass of my body ,needed barely no sleep.I knew i could be as powerful as i wanted and as well that i had the choise to do also bad.I also knew i was ready to move on to stabilize that condition . I was aware of all the crap and complained i even asked to show me where the money goes.So i got all the wrong indications these guys knew nothing where i was coming from ?So i got more lists and more sec checks till i was found clear.WHY i stayed even though at all times was aware of all the shit Is because i was hoping To correct The bad auditing that i got.I left scientology totally feeling misurdestood and with many wrong indications.:tessa

Sounds like you had some amazing experiences and also that you know what you want and what you don't want.

Good for you!

 

[Voltaire's Child]

John The WonderHusband

I was on staff, sitting on Reception, and John walked in. Saw me, saw the Scn sign, was curious. I sold him a DMSMH book. Easiest sell ever. (I'm no saleswoman, believe me.) He read it over next few days, was electrified by it.

Came in, took courses, took more, signed on staff, went gung ho all the way.

All he wanted to do was audit. He didn't want the crap and the politics. He just wanted to audit and wordclear.

Instead, they kept yanking his pcs and students out here and there on various protests (his comment: "they don't REALLY want any auditing taking place") then came the expulsion (both of us) for leaving staff without permission. (well, actually, we did ask. But it was denied.Assholes.)

This pissed him off.

Even after we got unexpelled (this was expulsion #1) it was never the same again.

But he's still very pro-tech. A bit more party line than I. But heretical enough to fit in here, were he still into posting.

You guys would like him. He's way cool. Way smarter than I, too.

 

[tessa]

what got you in ?what made you stay?

Thanks Div 6 and fluffy for your acknowledgments.: I followed my voice inside me for the most part i knew how far i can compromise.Yes my life is being like odysseus in modern times and yes i took incredible risks around the planet not prepared at all from my backround .Yes i got knowledgy and adventures and stepped up to find myself through life. Reviewing my life seems that i followed closely the archetypes that parts of my personality relate to. I followed no one elses rules but the ones that suited me! On the horizon my next trips are europe and mogolia and this time i will have more fun! tessa

 

[namaste]

I'll tell you what got me in.

One night, back when I was in high school, I was sitting in my room at my desk doing a homework assignment for my accounting class. That's when it all happened.

I'll try to explain.

Somehow, I was having trouble on a certain part of the homework assignment and I got frustrated and threw my pencil down on the desk.

What happened immediately afterward was the single most significant incident of my lifetime.

It was as if I'd stepped into another dimension. The homework was not so important anymore -- something much bigger was happening.

All of a sudden, I was looking at myself from a viewpoint where I could see everything about myself as it really was.

I noticed a lot of what I guess you might call social? circuts that I operated on constantly.

I was a robot.

I was not ever being me.

Now, all of a sudden, I was me -- my true self -- and I knew this with total certainty and it was beautiful.

This state of being that I had just aquired was the way I was supposed to be. It was the way I was always meant to be. I knew that.

I wish I could describe it. It was just a total high. I remember that the music I was listening to sounded awesome and that I was aware of how my mind worked.
There was the "usual" way that it worked, i.e. all of the circutry and me being a machine and being a puppet of this machinery, and then there was the way it was working now -- self-determined and aware of everything.

I only knew that It was extremely important to maintain this "new", self-determined state of mind. It was the right way to be and it was wrong to be the other way.

This brought about a problem -- how could I maintain this state of mind? If I went to sleep, would I wake up in the morning and be the old usual way? That just mustn't happen!

It was scary.

And it was very, very, sad to think that I might not be able to be my self again.

So I made what was the strongest postulate in my life that night. I would find a way to maintain the state of mind that had occured. Nothing would ever be as important as that.

And I stayed up as long as I possibly could that night trying to figure out a way to do it and afraid to go to sleep for fear of losing my identity.

Eventually, I fell asleep.

And when I woke up I wasn't me anymore and I knew it.

But being aware of it seemed to kind of put me in a state somewhere inbetween. I knew, though, that if I were in the "good" state that I would know it for sure, so I must not be.

All I could think about was what had happened the night before and I still vowed to become that way again and stay that way. Didn't know how to do it though. I only knew that I must and that nothing else would mean anything until I did.

Well, life goes on and the day-to-day obligations have to be met and so, even though I never forgot that night, I got pulled further and further into the "ordinary" way of life and thought about it less and less.

And then it happened again.

And again I realized how important it was to be this way and how different it was from the usual way and I vowed again to find a way to maintain it. The difference is like Jeckyl and Hyde.

Again I fell asleep and woke up like before, etc., etc., It would happen to me every now and then.

So what brought it about? If I could determine that, maybe I could figure out how to do it at will.

The first time it seemed to be anger, but one time I remember that I was sitting outside on my front porch at night (it always happened at night; never in the daytime.) and it was a peaceful night and I remember that there was a full or nearly full moon and it looked nice and everything was fine and I was just chillin' and BOOM! Next thing I know I am in that state of mind again.

My brother (six years younger) came out and sat on the porch a few minutes later and I told him about what was happening and how it had happened before and how important it was to me and do you know what he said?

He said, "You know," "maybe you should get that book, Dianetics that has been on TV commercials lately." "Maybe that would shed some light on it."

Funny he should say that; he knows nothing about Dianetics, Scientology, Hubbard, or any of it. Maybe he just didn't have an answer and wanted to contribute something, I don't know.

I said I'd get the book and see what it might offer.

I got the book and read it and it really did make a lot of sense to me.

I wanted to become "clear". Maybe it would help me reach my "desired" state, but even if it didn't I would likely to be able to play pool like a motherfucker.

So I went down to the org nearest where I was and decided I couldn't afford to pay for the bridge but joined staff to get it done that way and to help others do the same.

Being on staff wasn't a thrill. I hated going outside and trying to rope people in.

After a few months I got sent to PAC for OEC training.

When I got back to my org I blew after a few months mostly to get away from the lunatic who had become the ED. I would have stayed longer for fear of losing my eternal freedom and costing everyone else their's but she was a real bitch.

To this day I am still on the lookout for a way to realize my total identity. I believe it can be done.

 

[Tanstaafl]

Great story Namaste - I can really identify with that.

May you reach your goal!

 

[Div6]

Wow.

I had similar. What was happening is that I was going exterior, and "being 3 feet behind my head". Anger at times is a trigger (as it is a "disagree" flow), aesthetics can be a trigger, sex has been a trigger....drugs never really did it for me, they put me someplace else. The Bhuddist term for this is "naked consciousness".

I am still not able to maintain it constantly, but I do find it is getting easier....


Great story.

Thanks.

 

[Terril park]

To this day I am still on the lookout for a way to realize my total identity. I believe it can be done.

Fascinating story!

Was your experience related to going exterior do you think?

I had my first experience going ext around age 6, and it was scary.
Happened on and off for several years and eventually I learned to do
this at will.

Your experience sounds somewht similar in some ways.