2 Years in S.O.

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by In&Out, Sep 1, 2017.

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  1. EZ Linus

    EZ Linus BT-free since 2003!

    As a matter of fact, I think she was 12. I was 16 at the time and I had been on my own for a couple years by then, but I still thought it was odd. Now that I try harder to remember, she was his fiance. He and I worked together at a Scientology company. It was on the 2nd floor of a house. We were sitting across from each other at a large table stuffing envelopes (of course!) and didn't normally work in the same room, but that day we did. I was a computer nerd and did data entry and was normally very quiet.

    The 12 year old girl had been playing ball in the street out front with some friends and ran up the stairs and asked him for a few dollars for the ice cream man. Seriously. Now, she was tall and nearly fully developed and she was incredibly beautiful. Dark long wavy hair and beaming bright blue eyes. She looked like a model. When she ran back downstairs, I said, "Wow, your daughter is so beautiful." And he said, "Isn't she a knock out? That's my fiance!" Then I remember being shocked and asking all kinds of questions after that and even asking the other guys around the table if they thought that was okay. Some didn't want to make a comment.
     
  2. Jenyfurrr

    Jenyfurrr Patron

    That says it so well! Friends I've spoken to who are exes, one in particular when she was having a "mini-breakdown," explained how she'd spent SO many years repressing her feelings and things she saw that were just wrong and once she broke through that wall and could FEEL for herself and others, it was just overwhelming because once it started she couldn't turn it off. (Another friend who's also an ex said the EXACT same thing after a similar experience)

    Lastly, she said the money she'd spent made her feel bit violated almost - similar to how she felt after her house was robbed. But it was the years of believing in and giving her heart to a lie that felt most painful. She joined because of "saving the planet" and helping people is what she wanted most out of it. She also feels some guilt because of people she brought in (she's in counseling & knows logically it's not her fault - she didn't know it was a con).

    ALL of that said to say... there are so many abusive & bad things about Scamology, but the investment of one's heart and mind, often to the exclusion of all else, is one of the most damaging!
     
  3. Jenyfurrr

    Jenyfurrr Patron

    I had a hard time hitting "like" on the post just because that's horrific! But maybe if more people would've spoken up like you had the courage to, she would've been able to remain a little girl vs some man's plaything. Ugh that truly makes me nauseous.

    Any idea whatever happened to her/them?

    I can't fathom why/how her parents could consent to that! I've heard a lot of crazy CO$ stories about people getting married young, but it was mostly both people being too young to get married. Good for you for actually saying something (the response/lack thereof is disturbing)!
     
  4. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

    I came to view some Sea Org posts as a kind of Siberian exile. People can be on one of these back office posts for 10-30 years. Maybe they are the kind of person who really likes a job where everything is a well worn routine with little responsibility. Or maybe they are someone who rose to a high level of responsibility and were tossed under the bus and relegated to one of these posts and they now appreciate the lack of responsibility and stress. You would find some guy who used to be the high muckety muck, well known and respected now filing dead folders in the basement or mowing the lawn for years, kind of thing. I consider the lack of advancement, change or opportunity for these people to be another form of abuse in itself but even though these posts are not completely free of stress, neglect and abuse they can provide a kind of enclave in the eye of the storm as it were.
     
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  5. Enthetan

    Enthetan Mutant

    I could see it happening, due to the financial pressures that Scns are typically under. Mom is perpetually broke, some guy offers to take over taking care of the kid, it provides her with a way to into the SO. I could see org people approving, if it results in a new recruit.

    The thing is, it's not generally legal to marry that young. In California, you need a judge's approval to marry under 18. Then again, if you DO have a judge willing to sign off, there is no statutory legal minimum age.

    I've seen over-18 staff members date under-18 girls. At an org I was at, a staff member was getting ready to marry a 15 year old female staff (who was already pregnant by another guy). They broke up before the wedding, and both left staff, so I don't know what happened to them.
     
  6. Enthetan

    Enthetan Mutant

    It's a by-product of slave labor, and the SO considering SO members as "free", costing only what it costs to feed them and berth them. In the regular world, somebody who falls into disfavor just quits or gets fired, and goes to work elsewhere, usually doing what he had been doing. If the SO had actually been required to PAY their people real-world wages, this wouldn't happen.

    Then again, if Scn orgs had to pay real-world wages, Scientology would shut down within a couple of weeks.
     
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  7. EZ Linus

    EZ Linus BT-free since 2003!

    Don't you know it!
     
  8. EZ Linus

    EZ Linus BT-free since 2003!

    I understand your nausea! I don't think I had that exactly at the time. I was too young to understand how "gross" it was. I too was a victim of childhood sexual abuse over a long period of time and it took another adult (not a Scientologist) to inform me that it was not cool what was going on (the age difference), so I knew their age difference, being much more vast than what I'd gone through not long before, was "wrong." However, the guy I worked with made it seem "legal" because of her mother's consent.

    I sort of know what happened to the girl for a little while after that, but not the guy. They must not have been together too long. Some years later, one of my best friends "courted" her. Nothing ever happened. He was too old for her. She was 18-19-ish and he was in his 30s. Later, I heard she married some guy, but I don't remember who, or his age, but I believe he was mostly age appropriate. She was infamous among Scientologists males though. I had a lot of male buddies that have always felt very comfortable speaking freely with me and most of them spoke about her all the time, if you know what I mean. She never slept around. That's not what I mean. I mean my "friends" were just pervs.
     
  9. Jenyfurrr

    Jenyfurrr Patron

    Wow! Good to hear she ended up in a normal marriage and that first relationship didn't last. Lol doubt your friends were pervs, just typical young guys! As for what you went through - I'm so so sorry!

    Glad to hear someone around you figured out what was going on and spoke up to you though. Any question I'd ever had about what I could be capable of doing to another person was answered the moment I had kids and suddenly hearing/reading about anything occurring to a child evokes a visceral reaction from me. I just don't understand how anyone can victimize a child and sleep at night.

    But I have the same struggle with parents who've abandoned their kids to the SO or put Scientology before their kids/family. And it just seems like a lot of sexual abuse went on in there because of not seeing kids as younger people who need to be cared for.
     
  10. EZ Linus

    EZ Linus BT-free since 2003!

    Well, she ended up in a Scientology marriage, so I don't know how normal it was or for how long it lasted. Now that I think about it, I think it didn't last too long, but there were no children either.

    The pervy guy friends I had that spoke about her inappropriately were not young. I don't think a 40 year-old should be saying, "She was 12, but she was not 12..." and go on to talk nasty about her body parts and objectify her. Not that it's cool to objectify anyone.

    Her mom was either on staff or in the SO, and yes, she was abandon like so many other kids. I had/have friends that still struggle because of their abandonment. They too joined the SO at a young age probably just to be with their parents, but of course that did not work. Many of them are out now (thank God), and there are a lot of mixed feelings. Some have disconnected families. It's all so sad. One of my best friends, I met her on Berendo St. (now L. Ron Hubbard Way) when she was just a kid, maybe 13 years old. She was in a large group of other dirty unkempt kids with no adult supervision just running in the street near Fountain Ave. I think she was the one "in charge" because she was the oldest, but she didn't know what the hell she was doing. She was a kid herself and seemed terrified.

    <I wrote more details about her story with the SO, but had to delete them. :( >

    And yes, kids need to be cared for. I agree. Once I turned the same age as my perpetrators, it hit me what had been done to me. And by the time I finally got angry (which wasn't until after I left the cult), the statue of limitations had run out and I could no longer press charges. However, I wish I could be of some help for someone else in some way.
     
  11. Jenyfurrr

    Jenyfurrr Patron

    Oh wow EZ, yeah if they were in their 40's... even 30's or 20's talking about a 12-13yo yeah definitely beyond pervy! I can imagine how frustrating or angering it must have felt to have realized what happened and not be able to report it. Just the few things that have happened to me (date rape... lots of alcohol & woke up during, along with a mentally ill parent who was extremely verbally abusive, neglectful, very occasionally physical w/me and would plan parties or friends nights out whenever I had a talent show or band performance... but not like that w/my siblings...) left me feeling very powerless and violated but I was able to get counseling and between that, having my own children & mothering differently & watching my parent become a victim of his/her own very issues, forgiveness came and sometimes has to happen over and over but it gave me leave. ALL of that said to say, I can't FATHOM what you must've felt because in all my experiences there were things I could see from the other side and understand how it made sense in the other person's mind somehow, even if warped... but with sexual abuse there's NO rationalization to give a sense of understanding or peace and then to not be able to do anything to stop that person!

    But I will tell you, I've read your stories here. I need to refind the thread you'd started to tell your story. I was RIVETED and re-checking everyday. I'm so glad you're getting it out there because your story (what I've read thus far) was SO powerful! It takes so much courage to put all of that out there for public consumption! You do a great job of reaching out to posters on here too... there've been a number where I'd read a post & think "this person needs help & is in a bad place" and sure enough, a couple posts down there's a response from you that's profound & advises something I wished I'd thought of! So if it helps at all, you've done incredible work here reaching out to others through your story & with compassion and likely helped heal a lot of pain and direct people to appropriate help!
     
  12. EZ Linus

    EZ Linus BT-free since 2003!

    Wow, Jenyfurrr. I read this yesterday and was just so overwhelmed, I really didn't know what to say. You brought me to tears. You have been through so much yourself and still your compassion overflows, it's quite remarkable. You are an incredible person. Your children are truly fortunate. I'm happy to hear that you were able to break the cycle. You are so strong and courageous. And forgiveness is a process. I found to be anyway. That is incredible that you found a way/ways to forgive the people in your life. :budhug:

    For me, I found, while they were alive, that only temporary/transient forgiveness was possible. I'd beat myself up when the anger and blame returned. I finally settled on being able to understand. Understanding was what I had from the get-go and I continued to have more and more, thus more compassion.
     
  13. In&Out

    In&Out New Member

    My thread has been derailed. Oh well!
     
  14. EZ Linus

    EZ Linus BT-free since 2003!

    I really apologize for that, In&Out. I did not mean for that to happen.
     
  15. phenomanon

    phenomanon Gold Meritorious Patron

    Lovely Avatar.
     
  16. Jenyfurrr

    Jenyfurrr Patron

    Sorry In & Out! My bad!
     
  17. Jenyfurrr

    Jenyfurrr Patron

    Did/do you have family or loved ones still in? How'd you get into Scio & then the SO originally?

    I ask because it seems people who were able to retain their true self enough to walk away more quickly, seem to have family that's either not in or weren't as die-hard and are therefore stronger about sticking up for themselves (e.g. You being unwilling to do the RPF and not scared to set that boundary).
     
  18. Enthetan

    Enthetan Mutant

    It's easier to leave if you have people to go to.
     
  19. Jenyfurrr

    Jenyfurrr Patron

    Exactly - you said what I was wondering in a much less verbose way than I did!
     
  20. Enthetan

    Enthetan Mutant

    When I got fed up with the SO, all I had to do was call my family. Got a pre-paid ticket waiting for me at the airport, got in a cab when dinner started, and was in the air by the time I was missed.
     

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