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2016 SCIENTOLOGY PREDICTIONS -- You heard it here first!

oneonewasaracecar

Gold Meritorious Patron
Marty surprises everyone by releasing new info.

This is an interesting thought. After the case, maybe Marty will do just that.

He has really changed his tune on Scientology while the case has been dragging on.

He may have been holding back while the case has been heard. He's certainly been busy.
 

idrizomare

Patron with Honors
After serious consideration, I offer these predictions for Scientology in 2016:
  • David Miscavige will have cosmetic surgery.
  • Sensing that the threat of a lawsuit has vanished, the publisher ALPHA comes out with The Complete Idiot's Guide to Scientology. While critics hails its publication as another nail in the coffin, most of the first publishing run are remaindered because ...
  • By the end of the year, when someone hears the name "Hubbard" they assume you mean Freddie Hubbard. No one cares to read about Scientology itself. The Scientology expose books continue to sell briskly.

[video]https://youtu.be/hm4_4tPbXxA[/video]
 

AngeloV

Gold Meritorious Patron
The worlds largest clay table demo is created when a student at Flag realizes that she has a misunderstood on the word 'guh-LAX-ee'. Her course supervisor orders her to do a clay demo. Every week for the next several months, the student returns to the supervisor and whispers 'moar clay'.

A Marcabian DC8-like space plane locates Trementina base in New Mexico and bombs shut the vault housing the etched, metal plates that contain hubbards 'tek'. The Marcabs then send a telex to Gold base that says "LRH is a jerk, ha ha."

The cult purchases an exact replica of the Bluebird motor home that Hubbard died in and parks it at the CST Creston, CA ranch in hopes that it will encourage him to return there once he obtains a new body. It remains empty.

Prompted by the cults purchase, the Bluebird company produces a new model called the "Elron Elray". It is promoted as a safe, mobile auditing space for only the most dedicated OTs. It comes complete with a portrait of hubbard, an e-meter and supply of Vistaril.

Wikipedia's scientology page is hacked. The entire contents are removed and replaced with the words "A cult."
 

Helena Handbasket

Gold Meritorious Patron
.... And the Green Lantern Corps show up just in time for an epic battle. Hal Jordan kicks the asses of Tom Cruise AND Davey Miscavige simultaneously, ridding Sector 2814 of the scourge known as Swinetology once and for all.

Hey, it reads better than anything LRH ever wrote :whistling:
Hal Jordan! the real Green Lantern!

Back then, he was my favorite super hero -- I guess because he was the most "OT" like of them all (and this was WAY before I heard of Scientology).

Helena
 

Intentionally Blank

Scientology Widow
1. Thanks to Sen Ron Wyden's continued efforts, the IRS will announce a joint venture with the US legislature to review scientology's tax exempt status. No resolution will be reached during 2016 but the initiative will provide the cos with multiple opportunities for a whole new breed of foot bullets.

2. Going Clear will win the Oscar for Best Documentary.

3. Shelly Miscavige's tell all book will be published. It was written on napkins, toilet paper, and dry leaves and smuggled out. Just prior to publication Shelly escapes and is taken into safety by Leah Remini.

4. Taking a winning tip from abused Catholics, former members start suing local orgs and their staff for abuse and fraud particularly as it pertains to labor and wages and dangerous medical practices. The crumbling cult begins its final implosion from the ground up.

5. This may be 2017 but I'm putting it in 2016 just in case: As the final days of the criminal cult of scientology appear on the horizon and the last battle approaches, the Jedi rush in to vanquish once and for all Miscavige and his personal guard. Not even the most powerful OTs can stand against the Jedi forces.

6. Mr/s Blanky will "leave the building".
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



Oh...I forgot to say that

next year historical research will show that "Milestone" is actually a typo...it was supposed to be "Millstone".







:ball:







:hysterical: :hysterical:

In the interests of Standard Tech, the 1950 LRH reference on "Milestones" is hereby referenced and can be conveniently be accessed in the Stupid Thread.



[SUB](1950, DMSMH) The BEGINNING of Scientology:
[/SUB]
"The creation of Dianetics is a milestone for Man
comparable to his discovery of fire."





(2016) The END of Scientology:​

"The creation of Dianetics is a [STRIKE]milestone[/STRIKE] millstone for Man
comparable to
[STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] my own discovery of (The Wall of) fire."


a6f3db4ca0069f95daef04cbb2dd0f0b.jpg


Scientology minister (aka, spiritual guide, registrar)
approaches parishioner in need of "help".​
 

Little David

Gold Meritorious Patron
.......

The cult purchases an exact replica of the Bluebird motor home that Hubbard died in and parks it at the CST Creston, CA ranch in hopes that it will encourage him to return there once he obtains a new body. It remains empty.

Prompted by the cults purchase, the Bluebird company produces a new model called the "Elron Elray". It is promoted as a safe, mobile auditing space for only the most dedicated OTs. It comes complete with a portrait of hubbard, an e-meter and supply of Vistaril.

......
I predict that they have already spent millions preserving and maintaining his original Blue Bird Wanderlodge motorhome but Little David has made LRH angry by not keeping it where he left it at his Creston Ranch. It has made him so angry that he will not return to this planet in 2016.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
1. Thanks to Sen Ron Wyden's continued efforts, the IRS will announce a joint venture with the US legislature to review scientology's tax exempt status. No resolution will be reached during 2016 but the initiative will provide the cos with multiple opportunities for a whole new breed of foot bullets.

2. Going Clear will win the Oscar for Best Documentary.

3. Shelly Miscavige's tell all book will be published. It was written on napkins, toilet paper, and dry leaves and smuggled out. Just prior to publication Shelly escapes and is taken into safety by Leah Remini.

4. Taking a winning tip from abused Catholics, former members start suing local orgs and their staff for abuse and fraud particularly as it pertains to labor and wages and dangerous medical practices. The crumbling cult begins its final implosion from the ground up.

5. This may be 2017 but I'm putting it in 2016 just in case: As the final days of the criminal cult of scientology appear on the horizon and the last battle approaches, the Jedi rush in to vanquish once and for all Miscavige and his personal guard. Not even the most powerful OTs can stand against the Jedi forces.

6. Mr/s Blanky will "leave the building".

So that's where all the toilet paper's been going...
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

I predict that they have already spent millions preserving and maintaining his original Blue Bird Wanderlodge motorhome but Little David has made LRH angry by not keeping it where he left it at his Creston Ranch. It has made him so angry that he will not return to this planet in 2016.


Jeez, that's angry!

Q: How angry exactly was Dr. Hubbard?

A: Soooooo angry that...........in 1986 (from Target II) he telepathically communicated to senior church management that until his BlueBird Motorhome was fully restored (with a fresh & open pack of KOOL non filters at the ready) that they were to prevent anyone from going Clear or OT. And they complied!


This is highly confidential information that must not be exposed to Scientologists who have been madly attesting to all kinds of Clear and OT states for the past 30 years. It would be simply heartbreaking for them to realize that all those joyous PR photos of them holding their completion certs high above their grinning faces were what Ron calls--er...Dub in.

Thus far, LRH has not answered a query sent up lines to explain why from 1950 to 1986 nobody went Clear or OT either.
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
Well, this is a no-brainer since we've just seen half of Narconon reject any connection with Scientology..

The IAS and RTC will do as Narconon did and legally deny and refuse any connection with Scientology. (Of course this is a devious plan by Miscavige to salvage the money!)

:yes:
 

F.Bullbait

Oh, a wise guy,eh?
:hysterical: :hysterical:

In the interests of Standard Tech, the 1950 LRH reference on "Milestones" is hereby referenced and can be conveniently be accessed in the Stupid Thread.



[SUB](1950, DMSMH) The BEGINNING of Scientology:
[/SUB]
"The creation of Dianetics is a milestone for Man
comparable to his discovery of fire."





(2016) The END of Scientology:​

"The creation of Dianetics is a [STRIKE]milestone[/STRIKE] millstone for Man
comparable to
[STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] my own discovery of (The Wall of) fire."


a6f3db4ca0069f95daef04cbb2dd0f0b.jpg


Scientology minister (aka, spiritual guide, registrar)
approaches parishioner in need of "help".​

:spitcoffee:



:shock: Golly Gosh! :shock:


And I thought the Millstone bon mot was a FB original!


I was thinking about Millstones One and Two; I forgot about original thesis Millstone.





:ball:
 

oneonewasaracecar

Gold Meritorious Patron
I predict that they have already spent millions preserving and maintaining his original Blue Bird Wanderlodge motorhome but Little David has made LRH angry by not keeping it where he left it at his Creston Ranch. It has made him so angry that he will not return to this planet in 2016.

Or they burned it because it contained potential evidence.
 

He-man

Hero extraordinary
I predict that a new "target" like GAT 1 and 2 and the golden age of estates will be set to once again reinvent Scientology.

Hmm, maybe a reboot of the good old Saint Hill Size for all those empty orgs? :p
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
Or they burned it because it contained potential evidence.





Perhaps they burned the original to eliminate evidence as you said then built a number of other replica Bluebird Motorhomes at Gold Base and the CST bases so that when LRH returns from Target Two he'll have a place to stay?

Afterall, Hubbard had millions of dollars and could have stayed in ANY accommodation he wished to, right? And he chose the Bluebird. :whistling:
 

dchoiceisalwaysrs

Gold Meritorious Patron
A) 50 % of the lawyers hired by scientology will be disbarred and sent to the Super Power building to spin around the pole until their ethics conditions leave them at the operating state of NON-Existence, courtesy of LRH policy.

B) The other 51 % of the lawyers hired by scientology take their client the COS to court for fraud and brainwashing and plead with the court for an temporary_eternity_restraining order against anyone who stands 4ft 13inches and evades depositions because he thinks all Judges are DBs and need to be utterly ruined. Their pleading is granted by twelve sitting supreme court justices who require DM to get down on his knees in front of their bench and turn over the passwords to all his bank accounts and other assets.

C) Donal Trump buys up all the Ideal Orgs, and fills them up with all USA resident Muslims allowing them to bow down to the almighty dave's head on a pike while circling that pike of cause resurgence.

D) DM undergoes a psychiatric evaluation which recommends his case is so disturbing that he must be quarantined on Target II until such time as he originates a letter to LRH that he realizes the 'let him die attitude' was both inappropriate for Lisa McPherson as it was for the Old Man and it is his own death wish 'valence' He then lends EL Con his cell phone to call Shelly to prove that she is still alive and still working diligently on "ALL Clear" so LRH can return to Teegeack.

E) Back on the home front, DM gets treated for cirrhosis of the liver and copper poisoning and releases the NOI blaster piloted in Creston, California, version of the e-meter to commemorate his court recognized black heart.

F) Thousands of scientologist take a detour on a 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters' and have a sing-a-long with Simon and Garfunkel applauding the 'Sounds of Silence'

H) I take up bowling and frying fish because another cult has gone extinct.
 

Little David

Gold Meritorious Patron
Perhaps they burned the original to eliminate evidence as you said then built a number of other replica Bluebird Motorhomes at Gold Base and the CST bases so that when LRH returns from Target Two he'll have a place to stay?

Afterall, Hubbard had millions of dollars and could have stayed in ANY accommodation he wished to, right? And he chose the Bluebird. :whistling:
Yes, but like most things he bought with the money his customers paid him it was the best money could buy. While he lived in it at his Creston ranch he was spending millions remodeling the house, other buildings and grounds.

Blue Bird Wanderlodge

Wanderlodge
is a high end brand of Class A motorhome recreational vehicle that was built by Blue Bird Body Company (now Blue Bird Corporation) in Fort Valley, Georgia, from about 1963 until 2009. Production started with a 31-foot (9.4 m) gas powered forward control (front engine) model and expanded to include larger diesel engine powered pusher (rear engine) models up to 43 feet (13 m) in length. They remain highly prized by their owners[SUP][1][/SUP][SUP][2][/SUP] and have an extensive service network.[SUP][3][/SUP] For many years the Wanderlodge was in a separate class of motorhomes along with other premium brands like Prevost and Newell.
Pricing of these RVs, from the 1960s until now, has been comparable with pricing of a medium-sized house.

The Wanderlodge was sold around the world to celebrities, dignitaries, and heads of state. Notable owners[SUP][4][/SUP] include the former President of the United States, Jimmy Carter, country music superstar Johnny Cash, and King Hussein of Jordan, among others. Features of the Wanderlodge that were unique when introduced included a built-in safe, redundant heating and hot water systems that used electricity, engine heat or diesel, and fuel tanks offering range in excess of 1,000 kilometres (620 mi).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Bird_Wanderlodge
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
When writing a response in another thread I decided to cross-post it here as it contains a prediction, although not necessarily for this year.

Unlike my predictions though for Elvis and DM's dog I do sincerely believe this one will happen, and when it does it will have a whale of an impact: :coolwink:



Whales obviously provide a lot of benefit to the CoS. But if one of these whales WTFU and jumps ship s/he could do serious damage to CoS.

Just think what a pissed off whale could do with millions of dollars at their disposal to spend on payback.

In my New Year's Predictions for Scientology in 2016 I almost predicted that a whale WILL jump ship. For me it's a matter of when, not IF.

I only didn't write it down as I don't believe it will happen in 2016.

However, I'd happy to be wrong about the timing.

And if Billionaire Bob (Duggan) ever comes to his senses I believe he could single handedly fund the takedown of this cult.

Miscavige better hope that Bob never has a realization that Scientology (as described by Hubbard and Miscavige) is a fraudulent bait and switch operation which is a destructive force for its thousands of members and society in general.

When he does have that realization I doubt that he'll want to go down in history remembered as being the biggest financial supporter of a mind control cult that hasn't ever created 1 Clear or 1 OT with the abilities as promised. He may come to the point where he wants to make up the damage he's caused by promoting Scientology, and his financial position gives him some options that not many others possess.
 

FlagEmDown

Patron
1. The tub sinks & scientology blames it on sabotage by sp's and bigots, but really it was just DM creating a new money-making scheme.
2. NOI takes scientology's tech, trademarks, books, etc and refuses to pay DM anymore. Gang warfare erupts.
3. Russia puts both political and public pressure on the US to return its citizens that are being "held captive" by scientology.
4. scientology sells huge chunks of its real estate and Duggan and Cruise chip in as scientology purchases its own island and becomes its own nation. They buy nuclear bomb technology from North Korea. Good-bye wog rules. Only James Bond can save us now.
 
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