2017 SCIENTOLOGY PREDICTIONS -- You heard it here first!

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by HelluvaHoax!, Dec 18, 2016.

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  1. Lee_from_phx

    Lee_from_phx Patron with Honors

    I predict that thanks to ever-increasing scrutiny of the cult from the media and other sources, more and more people will be forewarned against becoming involved in it. People who would otherwise have fallen victim to the cult will be inoculated against it -- immune. They'll never become involved.

    The money they would otherwise have been conned out of will never be deposited in the cult's coffers. The cult is heavily dependent upon income from "new public." Its revenues will decline. In response, the rapacious criminals running the cult will try to wring more money out of their current victims. This will generate revenue over the short term, but will have the long term effect of driving those people out of the cult at a greater rate than they would otherwise leave.

    Furthermore, the loss of "new public" will also deplete the pool of potential Sea Org recruits. The cult depends on slave labor to operate. The attrition rate among Sea Org members is pretty high. The cult is constantly trying to recruit new victims to replace the people who have wised up and ditched the cult, or simply routed out of the Sea Org. If the cult cannot maintain its staff of slaves, the effectiveness of its various organizations will deteriorate, which in turn will lead to even fewer people being suckered into the cult.

    Welcome to the death spiral.

    The cult won't be dead at the end of 2017, but it will be weaker, more vulnerable, and more desperate.
  2. programmer_guy

    programmer_guy True Ex-Scientologist

    This has already been going on for many many years now.
  3. TrevAnon

    TrevAnon Big List researcher

    In 2017, David Miscavige will still be short.

    Do I win the prize now? :happydance:
  4. RogerB

    RogerB Crusader

    More fame and infamy for the cult . . . .

    BrasscheckTV Report

    It's a cult, it's a religion, no it's a
    breakfast cereal.

    Whatever you call it, Scientology
    plays some pretty savage and
    ruthless "games" with its members.



    - Brasscheck TV
  5. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    I predict a powerful SP starts a promotional and greeting card company that sells SP greeting cards and promotional items to wake their loved ones up from the cult.

    Proceeds go to the SP's Non Profit Organization to fund help for ex Sea Org Slaves and staff member or anyone hurt by Scientology - to help them start their lives over, get jobs, have a place to decompress.


    If you would like to see an example of one of the greeting cards - here is one HelluvaHoax put together for our next 2-D Holiday - Valentines Day.

    I would like to give HH a huge ACK cuz HH really did a superb job here - joking and degrading, using the "tech" and IMPINGING on the stupidity of Scientology and its loaded language.

  6. Lee_from_phx

    Lee_from_phx Patron with Honors

    True, but the pace is accelerating. The cult is being hit with new exposes every week of the sort it used to deal with every few years, if that.
  7. Freeminds

    Freeminds Bitter defrocked apostate

    Let's just imagine, for a moment, the consequences of David Miscavige having a stroke in 2017.

    It's not entirely unlikely: he's in his late fifties, he works the long hours of a control freak (never trusts those he delegates to), and he has a drink problem. Recent public appearances have suggested other health complications, too.

    He might surprise me and live for decades, but if he does that might not be any better for the Scientology UFO Cult. If you will permit comparison with a real religion, remember how awkward the final months of Pope John Paul II were? Personally, though, I don't think COB will make old bones.

    And after him... what? And who? He's maintained his power by undermining or eliminating anybody who the remaining victims might think of as a leader. The Cult barely survived the death of LRH, under better conditions. Can it do it again? I say no: it'll fragment - possibly slowly - effectively adding a new half dozen or so flavours to the Cheapzone... each one bringing court cases against the others until all the money is spent.

    Could that chain of events start in 2017? I think so.

    I hope so.
  8. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    I predict another Television Series about Scientology and Disconnection will be coming on after the Docu Series -

    Leah Remini; Scientology - the AFTERMATH - kicks that hornets nest real hard and finishes up the last episode.

    There is nothing worse than a bunch of suppressed bitter defrocked apostates that have been bankrupted, families destroyed and dreams shattered - coming out of apathy and "doing something about it"!:happydance::happydance::yes::wink2:

  9. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    I predict that David Miscavige will never die.

    Rather, he will come to a point where he decides to causatively drop his body as it has become an impediment to joining LRH on Target Two, assisting him in his advanced research.

    The day before his departure he will sign a new will ordering all his assets to be donated to the CoS and he will announce his choice of a hand picked successor.

    A major flap arises when CoS claims to have cremated the body for religious reasons prior to authorities properly signing off on the death certificate.

    Rumors start that DM really didn't go to Target Two after all, but rather Target Three (also known as 'Bulgravia')

    An internal power struggle transpires to determine who becomes the next COB. Tom Cruise alleges that the new will DM signed off on the day before his departure is a fake, and that HE is the one who was in the #2 position after DM.
  10. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    In 2017 I hereby predict the following will come true :

    The Dark Dwarf :

    1) Will be imprisoned for the remainder of his if he hasn't died from chronic alcohol abuse first.

    2) Be sure Shelly's body will still not be found.

    3) L Ron Hubbard Way will be renamed the YSCOHB Way.

    4) Will be recognized not as the first Pope of Scientology but also the first Saint.

    5) The auction of the complex ( & contents ) plus all properties ( & their contents ) in Clearwater & elsewhere in the world will provide many mementos.

    6) PC folders of the high ranking officials were sold for a dime per folder.
  11. This is NOT OK !!!!

    This is NOT OK !!!! Gold Meritorious Patron

    Absolutely unfair to pick such low hanging fruit!

    Next January I predict you to be the award winner.

    Will I get a prize HH?
  12. Lohan2008

    Lohan2008 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Here HBO: Take my $$$ !!!!
  13. TrevAnon

    TrevAnon Big List researcher

    Scooter's e-mailbox will fill itself in no time and be full at least twice.

    Oh wait, only predictions about Scientology are allowed?

    Sorry. :blush:
  14. Babel Fish

    Babel Fish Patron

    Tommy Davis will talk into a microphone.

    DM will undergo surgery to make himself 8 inches taller, then convince all sea org members that he was always that height. (We Stand Tall will be heard blasting on repeat at top volume on DM's expensive sound system every night for several weeks.)

    DM's mother will write a book about David's infancy. It will receive mixed reviews. It will be titled "toothless"

    John Travolta will find true happiness.

    (direct to VHS)
    Battlefield Earth 2: Battlefield Mars
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2017
  15. David Miscavige will continue to consolidate his power and control over all elements and facets of Scientology.

    Then, quite unexpectedly, at the IAS event later in the year. David Miscavige, while speaking, will rip off a gigantic wide-mouth yawn.

    The stunned crowd will start to murmur restlessly and then break into chants of "Find your word!" until Miscavige, in tears, wets his pants and runs off the stage.

    The Anabaptist Jacques
  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor



    Théâtre de l'absurde! Love it!
  17. dchoiceisalwaysrs

    dchoiceisalwaysrs Gold Meritorious Patron

    Looks like in the last line they omitted to put in the name of Tony's book " The Unbreakable Miss Lovely "
  18. GE cmdr

    GE cmdr Patron with Honors

    New Video footage of LRH released that was undoubtedly hidden by SPs. Most of this film will be CGI reconstruction.

    Another golden age of tech

    OT9 & 10 will be released but they will be old versions of OT levels.

    Wishfull thinking- Pat will come out of hiding and tell his story.
  19. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

  20. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

    The Ventura Fault is calculated to achieve a magnitude 8 earthquake.

    I predict if an earthquake of this magnitude hits Big Blue, the most likely section of the complex to have a catastrophic failure will be the 2 story columns on the Sunset side of the Lebanon Hall Auditorium and the incinerator stacks will follow.

    The Ventura-Pitas Point fault in southern California has been the focus of a lot of recent attention because it is thought to be capable of magnitude 8 earthquakes. It underlies the city of Ventura and runs offshore, and thus may be capable of generating tsunamis.
    Since it was identified as an active and potentially dangerous fault in the late 1980s, there has been a controversy about its location and geometry underground, with two competing models.
    Originally, researchers assumed the fault was planar and steeply dipping, like a sheet of plywood positioned against a house, to a depth of about 13 miles. But a more recent study, published in 2014, suggested the fault had a "ramp-flat geometry," with a flat section between two tilting sections, similar to a portion of a staircase.
    In a recently published paper in Geophysical Research Letters, a team of researchers used computer modeling to test the two alternatives.
    In these computer models, the crust—outermost layer of rock—in the Ventura-Santa Barbara region is represented as a three-dimensional volume, with the surfaces of the region's faults as weaknesses within it. That volume is then "squeezed" at the rate and direction that the region is being squeezed by plate tectonics. In comparisons of the expected movement in the models with GPS data, the fault with the staircase-like structure was favored.