30+ Years in Scientology

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by Free to shine, Mar 9, 2008.

View Users: View Users
  1. parrotnutz

    parrotnutz Patron

    This is tough to read...and comprehend...how could this happen? This tears me apart to the point I can`t type.
     
  2. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    It's ok...my life has also brought a lot of wisdom that I have been able to share. Let's make sure it doesn't happen to other kids. :bighug:
     
  3. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Bump for new readers
     
  4. Ms S Dyson

    Ms S Dyson Patron

    look at the time!

    ..
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2010
  5. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

    D:welcome: to ESMB, Ms S. Dyson!
     
  6. Ms S Dyson

    Ms S Dyson Patron

    ..
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2010
  7. Glenda

    Glenda Gold Meritorious Patron

    For those that have not read a 2nd generationers full-on story, this account from our Free to Shine is very worth the time.

    This is how scientology fractures families and has been doing so for decades. The story starts in the 1960s and is ongoing to this day.

    This week Free to Shine's mum passed away.

    Link to thread, where Free to Shine writes an extremely moving and beautiful tribute for her mother:
    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?40046-Rest-in-Peace-Joy-James-my-mum

    Together, with this thread (which I have just re-read), my heart breaks, again. Free to Shine's story, the story of her family, is the raw harsh reality of scientology. Sue is amazing for having not only survived the cruelty, but also for finding her voice and the pure guts to tell the story - here on ESMB (and her blog which is on her signature line thing).

    Sue, you know I love you deeply. You know how deeply grateful I am for all the support you have given me over the years, the hours of listening, of your caring about me, supporting me. There's been some very late nights talking. And of course, far too many cups of coffee drunk during those times. :)

    But today, ya know, this one, not any other, this moment, I want to tell you that you are one in a million. Re-reading this thread, at this stage of "evolution", leaves me speechless, with damn tears rolling down my face.

    Tonight I just wish the world hadn't been infected with Hubbard's toxic bullshit.

    My sincerest respect and love for you Sue. :flowers:
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2015
  8. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Ahh shit, more tears. Thankyou Glenda. It has been hard, it is still hard. This thread is so old, I had only just found my voice and had then a long way to go with actually dealing with it all. I haven't written about so much ... my scientology marriage, raising my kids, dealing with drugs and dramas, my ex husband's death last year, coping with surgery and the sheer insanity of the emotional Fair Game against me the last year. Maybe some time.

    The good news is I have found that if you continue to live life with as much kindness and love as you possibly can, many challenges can work out. Most of my family is still split by lies and disconnection yet out of the embers has come a strengthening of some relationships I never thought possible. I never give up hope, but I don't hold my breath, as I have said before. When we help each other, as so many have done here, we have the strength to carry on and make the world just a little brighter. You and some other wonderful people here helped me keep it together and I am forever grateful. It's hard doing it all alone, as I was when I found ESMB. So I figure Pay It Forward.
     
  9. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    :bump2: I guess I should bump my own old thread. Much has happened since I wrote this, I can't believe that I used to be scared of speaking out. :) Yes I paid a price in some ways yet I gained much peace and the courage to maintain my integrity.
     
  10. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Thanks for all the 'bumps' today Free. :thumbsup::yes:
     
  11. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    Bold mine.

    That is so cool, FTS. :thumbsup:

    How about an update to your thread? :begging:
     
  12. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    An update? Crikey, there's years of posts in between. I'd have to go back and think and pull it all together. It's a project though! :)
     
  13. Freeminds

    Freeminds Bitter defrocked apostate

    How did I miss this thread, before?

    Great writing. Sad story, of course: like too many other Scientology victims... but you could write a book.

    Thank you.
     
  14. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    :) Okay, maybe not ALL the stuff in between :biggrin: but what I'd personally find most inspirational is where years ago you might have thought one way and acted one way but later did not, or times when you felt your integrity was really tested and you chose the more difficult, but far more rewarding, path.

    I'd love to read how things got better later, like an aftermath/conclusion and maybe others would, too.
     
  15. xseaorguk

    xseaorguk Patron Meritorious

    like somebody said a few posts before - how did I miss this thread until now?
    I have seldom read such a moving SCN story, with much that I can relate to from the 70's and 80's. Even recognise a few names.
    Also much of the self esteem issues mentioned and the putting up with abuse made sense to me.

    As others have already suggested, you should write a book about your life in and around the cult.

    A mesmerizing read, thank you for sharing this.
     
  16. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Oh my dear I wish I could let it all hang out. But as you know that would have ramifications on other people and that is how the bastard cult still affects our lives.

    I will get together some kind of synopsis of what's happened since I first wrote that so long ago though.
     
  17. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    It's funny you should say that because when I re-read those words that were so hard to put down back then, it lacks a lot of the emotional content. And it's struggling with those emtions that is a real story. I have tried several times to really write it all out and so far have not succeeded. Maybe when the time is right it will just come. Currently I have restrictions on what I can and can't say about other people, and I hope that changes and I am sure it will. Thanks!
     
  18. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    Hi FTS

    Hope you're doing fine (the best as possible)

    Glad to see you! :wink2:
     
  19. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Hiya gorgeous one! Even if I don't post much these days I'm still around and doing great.
    Your posts so often make me laugh, I'm glad you stick around!
     
  20. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    As I read these 25 + years or 30 + years in the cult stories it is beyond sad.

    This ' long-time-in ' stories so need to be read & digested by those thinking about sticking a toe in scn to see what it's about - it is absolute quicksand that is soul robbing !

    So many of us trudged along with a stiff upper lip never imagining the people in the halls we passed everyday were also in a living hell - and some so much worse abused than we could imagine.

    Those who have told their stories help so much in educating the public & helping those in to get out - plus helping those out heal. THANKS !
     

Share This Page