Best J & D memories !

Ah, at CC La Brea - someone was moaning to TR Bob about having tightly strapped their e meter ( one of those wooden box things ) to the back of their motorcycle to secure only to get to the org & find parts rattling around in the box.

TR Bob asked ' Did you have your meter set on transit " ?

I almost fell down the stairs when I heard him ask that.

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Also saw the cram of a student who following exactly the HCOB of what to do while the PC looked for an incident : make notes on worksheet.

So, he drew notes on his worksheets the half notes, quarter notes, whole notes, etc.

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Or the new student answering why he was late to class said to the sup " Because your clock is 2 minutes fast ". Uh, got at trip to ethics !

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AOLA said to person sent to ethics to handle other practices said to EO " Yoga is not another religious practice, it is an exercise. Do you have a dictionary to look that up " ? ( Uh, funny, but didn't end well ! )

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As a friend said to me on reading that " pain & sex " thing . . . . . . . " You have to remember he was an old man when he wrote that shit "!

 

I was watching the propaganda video of L Ron Hubbard doing the ONLY interview with the media...at the mORGue whilst waiting to get in session.

I wrote up a KR about LRH not brushing his teeth.

He violated the precept to The Way to Happiness.

I actually thought L Ron Hubbard was coming back....and that is why they have the LRH office in each mORGue.

 

If the old boy does go back on his word ( as usual ) & does come back, won't he be so pleased with what little dm has done with the place !

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If you want a real howl, ask your local library if they have any book on scientology . . . . . . . <------ expect some BIG eye rolls

 

I once remember asking a friend if she was on 7 & she replied " No ! It's on me "!

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Then there came the time when ' getting an assist ' mean having someone point out the exit !

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Or, when asking is he OT getting the straight faced dead pan answer " Not really ".

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Or, the person who felt like having 25 folders was embarrassing so requested they be consolidated into fewer folders. Done. 10 very fat folders ! Person was happier ( who says auditing doesn't work ! )

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Hey, here & there I found some isolated laughs scattered among a few decades of self inflicted misery.

 

There were some moments of fun every once in awhile. Decency, too. But it was always in spite of da cherch, not with or because of it.

edited- because... WTF autocorrect? I type moments and you give me mementos??

 

My friends and I used to do a lot of J&D stuff when only the right people were around, i.e. if we didn't think we'd get busted. There's an auditing demo of LRH prepchecking where he loudly calls out the reads, which we thought was outrageous because it was strictly a no-no when I was in. At one point he says, "Has anything been SUPPRESSED? BANG! LOOK WHAT THE METER DID THERE!" We howled with laughter over this. I used to repeat it when bullbaiting, in my best imitation of LRH's voice! Cracked my twin up many times.

I also used to do an LRH-cum-W.C. Fields parody of the Tony Hitchman interview: "Yes, I've slept with Mongolian bandits ... I've hunted with pygmies in the Philippines ..." (even then I thought that sounded like bs).

Another time I heard someone coaching TR3: "Do birds fly? HOW MANY BUCKS AN HOUR AM I PAYING FOR THIS SNIVELLING DROOL?"

 

The crap we used to do with dolls in meter drills....

 

J & D, aq fine afternoon in th reral world imho.





JD on the other hand

 

Oh man, that's funny!!!

 

Yes and he got the clap. - must be very painful!
"Oh, Jesus, where'd he get that?"

 

My favorite ever when I was at FCDC in the early-mid 70's ... I believe that the person who came up with this was the Director of Tech Services at the time and his first name was Chip ... can't remember the last name. but it wasn't Chip Gallo .... he invented the ethics condition below Confusion ... he would put PCs in the condition of Baltimore

 

There's a condition below confusion?? OMFG!

 

The best is all the derogatory slam words Hu666ard came up with and using them on bull baiting.

"OK. Got that. Thank you, Can't Hide Rejects Motion!"

 

Yes. We often used to bullbait by telling people they were "in debasement," which works out nicely 'cause it sounds like "in de basement," which of course is also very low.

We also used to bullbait each other about being brainwashed, believe it or not! "Look at you! You're totally brainwashed! You're just sitting there staring at me like some kind of awful zombie! Oh Jim, my little Jimmy Boy, how horrible! Please, speak to me! Please, please speak to me!" How ironic it seems now, eh? Truer than we knew ...

 

Oh, the fun.

We used to bull bait about being in a cult and explaning why one was hollering at an ashtray.

 

At flag in the 80's there were multi levels of J&Ding. in the CMO you had to know when to play and when to tighten up. A lot of times it was not really clear and it got quite a few people in trouble.

The missionarie unit in Clearwater was comprised of two or three people. The rest of the missions were manned from the orgs flag crew and FSO and FLB. Don Jason and I were manned on a sit handling mission that was heading the PAC. Our mission was to RPF the CO pac crew, run the org, handle the remaining execs and post a new CO.

So Don Jason and I are at the airport in full class A uniforms. He starts looking all worried. He starts saying he has a bad feeling about the flight.

I laughed and was like what? I had only flown once in my life. It was when my dad had taken me ,two years prior, to sf international and sent me to the sea org in Florida.

Don continues for the next 30 minutes talking about he was sure the plane was going to crash.

Finally I asked if he thought we should take another flight.

Don was like yea we might want to because that plane is going down.

At this point I really started to get worried and wondered how this was all going to go down. We could not just remove ourselves and let all those people die. My concern rose greatly. In fake Navy uniforms and on our way to a situation handling mission, fuck I was s messenger and was supposed to be acting like LRH would have. Things got very real for me and I got very scared.

Don then took a huge drag on his cigarette just before putting it out. a huge smile came to his face and he told me that he was just fucking with me.

I never had a big brother but right at that moment I knew exactly what it must be like.

 

Ah, one of my most fav was the guy sent to the examiner at CC on La Brea & asked if there was some state he'd like to declare.

He reflected a moment & then with a serious smile said












" California " !

Talk about the calamity for all of us in ear shot range of that one !

It was PIMP funny !


Damn it takes so many years for enough to fade away for the all to rare humor to - at last - surface.

 

1970s:
A guy, Brad, was joining staff at the Riverside mission (going into div6). A Div6 staff member Loretta gave him a list of cigarette brands and said that now that he was joining staff ... he would have to pick one (implying that he would have to start smoking).

Yes, sometimes Loretta had quite a sense of humour!

 

A few I heard a few decades ago:

Did you hear about the [Polak][any favorite negative social target at the time] who went clear?
1. He erased his analytical mind...
2. His clear cog was "A really does equal A!"


Did you hear about the Event Correction List? It had items like:
1. Started too late?
2. Went on too long?
3. Lied to a staff member and said you took LSD to avoid a Sea Org recruitment cycle?
4. Too many money demands?
5. Too many altered or fake stats promoted?


How many OTVIIIs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one... he holds the light bulb and the universe rotates around him.

 

Sounds like a new thread. What brand of cigs did you smoke and how much? The whole 9 years I was in I smoked Kool Milds and near the end switched to Merit menthols. I was up to 30 to 40 cigs a day. I quit for good nine months after I left. I haven't smoked nadda since October 14, 1985! I could buy a carton of them for $9 or $10 U.S. Now they go for around $50! Not only have I saved money not buying cigs but I've saved tons of money not buying scio related crap. Scientolgoy and its' realted bad habits really breaks your wallet! (And mind and health.)

Ok. Back to favorite J&D moments.