Blanky's Blog ~ Scientology Widow

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by Intentionally Blank, Feb 26, 2018.

View Users: View Users
  1. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Hi Lotus,

    Yes, of course, you can ask me anything. When I met B I did know he was in Scn. That was 2009 and we started dating summer of 2010. I was working for a group of docs and one of them was also a member. Other than that I didn't know much about it and tended to confuse it with Christian Science - which I think was not uncommon.

    Because he was an illegal pc and he didn't have much money he wasn't as committed to being at the org as often as others. He was on course, typically, twice a week. For a while he was co-auditing but that was discontinued. Our friend Chris Shelton had a fair bit to do with that, actually.

    I didn't begin to suspect how destructive it was until late 2012. I'd seen a few things that I thought were questionable. I'd been to some events and been regged after one. And there were a couple other things. That was when I joined here - Dec of 2012 - and really began to understand what I was observing as well as the deeper implications of the cult. Oh, and now that I think about it, they'd already meddled earlier that year and convinced him I was evil. I wasn't then but I certainly became so the more they interfered in our lives.

    xoxo
     
  2. cleared cannibal

    cleared cannibal Silver Meritorious Patron

    I have been around Scn on and off for 25 yrs and in the last 2-3 years there doesn't seem to such thing as an illegal PC. I think this started with the release of the Golden Age of tech phase II. I have know some people with extensive psych meds history which have done the purify and SRd. They tell them that with the new and improved purify they can run the meds out.

    Really the only thing that seems illegal any more is lack of money. I am not really being funny on this. I knew one person that did have some mental issues and little money and really no prospect of joining staff and she was told she was illegal. I knew some another individual that had plenty of money with a similar history and he routed on to the purify with really little discussion.

    I am not privy to large numbers of people but in my early days this moneyed individual would not have been allowed to start. I think Scn really is hurting for PCs and this rerunning of the purif and new objectives bought them some time. Next few years will be interesting to what they come up with. They have already reduced the price of services in my opinion to try to get more people. When this fails I predict they will increase the price to try to get the last drops of monetary blood out of the people who do have money and willing to pay whatever. They are going to have to come up with something when the lack of growth becomes apparent. I look for them to promote some kind of martyr complex in the remaining members.
     
  3. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    Thanks a lot Blanky, I appreciate you replied to me.

    I now understand better what happened and that you weren't knowleadgeable of the cult when you met with him. Yes, It may be easily confused with Christian Science from outside..there are some pseudo-metaphysical stuff in both.

    Some pictures of Brian when he seemed to be doing fine..display beautifull eyes and smile , he is truly so beautiful... I wish you can reunite although it's obvious he is still alive within your heart.

    One thing got my attention: The fact the he gave up to the cult to choose you, despite he was so suffering and so much in need of help...that speaks a lot for his true love for you ....From a $cientologist = true love. No best proof.

    I've recently seen a documentary concerning a syndrome encountered with migrant childrens deprived of any hope and thus falling into a semi-coma...it describes exactly what you described that happened with Brian ..but what they found is that those people, even though they don't react, they hear and can understand the people around them . Thus even though he was prisonner of a profound despair, he knew he was truly loved by you till he left.

    Love to you Blanky

    Lotus
    XXXX
     
    • Love Love x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  4. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    This week I talk about Scientology and fear.


    https://scientologywidow.wordpress.com/2018/03/12/scientology-a-cult-of-fear/
     
  5. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    I think you are partially right. What others have told me is that if you have taken anti-d's NOT under the care of a psychiatrist you can probably audit in the church. Or if you have only had a couple visits with a psychiatrist but not long term care. The big stop for B was the ECT more than the meds. Although by any standard 10 years is going to be an extended amount of time for meds and for psychiatric care.

    The other thing that I think may have changed is that the decision to waive the illegal status might be at the local level. There were rumblings of that in 2015 when B was working his petition harder. Again, ECT is going to probably be a deal breaker though. And, all he was asking for was the Purif and SRD.

    You're probably right about that.
     
  6. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    I have pics of when he was extremely ill but I don't share those. Even when he was sick I only posted ones on the days he was doing better. I did share a video of a really bad day with my therapist. She almost started to cry.
    He did. And I try to take some comfort from that. I suspect, though, if he hadn't been sick almost immediately after that he would have gone back to the cult.
    That's really interesting. If you had a link or a name of that docu I would like to see it. Although he was never really himself again he would go in an out of the catatonic state. And, yes, he could hear and understand just fine even when he appeared to be in a deep sleep. He would tell me that in his better moments.

    Thanks for the comforting thoughts and words. It's been a hard week.

    xoxo
     
    • Love Love x 2
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
    • List
  7. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    I'll link to you blanky, but hopeful it won't saden you.

    It's called resignation syndrome:

    resignation syndrome - BBC

    In the event you wish to watch videos about it, there are some on you tube but I didn't want to expose you to a video.

    p.s. taking refuge in this semi-coma state is a way to avoid the suffering..they don't suffer. It's the sleeping beauty syndrome.

    Love to you

    Lotus
    XXXX
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
    • Love Love x 2
    • List
  8. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Lotus,
    This is fascinating. Thank you for that. I found this research paper that suggests quite strongly what these children experience is a severe depressive state with catatonia and/or severe dissociation. This is exactly what Brian had.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4731541/
     
  9. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    When I watched the documentary few weeks ago Blanky, I immediately thought of what you said about Brian's catatonia when he found himself in despair and hopeless from his $cientology breaking up and you tried to explain this state to the doctors.

    :cool:
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Love Love x 1
    • For you For you x 1
    • List
  10. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    I've read most of the research paper I linked above. It's amazing. As the researchers compare the two it gives more in depth information about catatonia than I've found in any single place elsewhere. I'm changing my next blog post because of it. Thank you so much for that.

    It does hurt to see how terribly harmed he was by the COS and how ill. I struggle every day with the horror of how none of the medical providers he saw (there were a lot) recognized what was right in front of all of us. But to finally be able to sort out the pieces and to understand what probably happened - it helps, it helps a lot.

    xoxo
     
  11. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    Blanky,

    For anyone waking up to the true essence of the cult it is a great pain..very tough though for some people to emerge after they realize how they have been fooled and find the courage and strenght to start a new life..devastated and feeling ''empty'' with no more purpose in life..

    Thus, when this happens to someone struggling with any illness, especially a mental issue like depression, it may act as the final straw..since the resiliency it takes might not ba available :( It's like your whole life, dreams, hope, faith, life purpose is suddenly collapsing...it may hit some people like a train...I've seen several people dealing with mental illness and they soon or later became devastated, especially with this ''illegal pc'' label and ostracization; it has to do with the abuse of faith and hope in human beings in search of ending their suffering.

    I wish you can get an understanding(a piece at the time) of what happend to him and you
    But there are so much things (manipulation) going on in this cult that we are not aware of when it's happening...:oops:

    lotus
    XXXX
     
  12. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

  13. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    What you put up together in the post are the plain right fears any $cientologist encounters, soon or later...
    The fear is implanted, one gradient at the time, especially when you are considered as a true $cientologist ( going up the bridge, with either auditing or majour courses)

    As son as one gets one the student hat , and graduate, the indoctrination and pressure had began...

    The key policy that makes one deeply involved for the greatest good is the KSW policy...
    This policy is enforced as soon as one gets enrolled on major courses.



    It starts there Blanky!
    AS soon as the cult get your agreement on this, then the door is open to all abuses since we are enrolled on the ''salvaging the agonizing planet'' mission, securing our freedom and make things go right. The only answer is $cientology and in order to protect $cientology to accomplish it's salvaging mission, it must be protected from people in our environement who , because of their bank restimulation and out-ethics, would try to harm it in any way. :oops:

    Thus, it's very challenging for one to keep involved with his\her family, friend, lover when there is such pressure and people become critical.. Thus, we must remain very secretive and are permanently feared that either their critical mind (SPness) will be discovered or it will be found in confessional\sec-checkin (lie detector)

    At that time, disconnection begins to take place, ethics handlings, seck-checks, board of investigation, and inquiries till crimes are found and conditions are assigned...

    But unfortunately, you are already caught deep into the belief that this planet is agonizing and your only chance to save your eternity is $cientology..and some people decide to give up on those sp degraded beings who won,t make it..but if we do, we can then, at the end, lear them.......:(

    So when a $cientologist deals with all those fears while remaining close to his\her loved one, and people being part of their life..it tells how he\she love them while resisting, despite the fear.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2018
    • Like Like x 2
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  14. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Scientology Induced Fear Killed My Husband


    https://scientologywidow.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/scientology-induced-fear-killed-my-husband/
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  15. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Very grateful to Chris Shelton for featuring me, and our story, on his Sensibly Speaking Podcast this week.

     
    • Thanks Thanks x 3
    • Like Like x 2
    • List
  16. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    Very good interview!
    Wel done.

    I can't recall such a story, from a non-$cientologist , has been told.
    Penny, I am glad you're writing a book.

    That will help people to understand the wide extensive reach of $cientology devastation.

    Tanks for sharing

    Lotus
    X0X0X0
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Love Love x 1
    • List
  17. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    • Thanks Thanks x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  18. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    Thanks for posting this video of you and Chris. Nice to meet you friend. I'v'e only listened to 10 minutes so far, I can't listen to all of it at the moment.

    But so far when you say you told Brian how can you post a bad comment about Going Clear book without actually reading it, and he runs away, yep, I'v'e encountered the same thing, scientologists are so well taught by Hubbard to put their heads in the sand, Hubbard called it entheta which should be called "don't critically think" or listen and examine opposing viewpoints

    I did the same thing as Brian did more or less when there were protesters in front of my Org every weekend back in 2011/12. As well as my spouse.
     
  19. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    A Funny Story About Spiders and Scientology

    Be sure to listen to the recording. It's the best part ;)

    https://scientologywidow.wordpress.com/2018/03/21/a-funny-story-about-spiders-scientology/
     
  20. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    https://scientologywidow.wordpress.com/2018/03/23/communication-course-tipping-the-sacred-cow/
     

Share This Page