Buy or Die! How CoS creates brand loyalty.

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by HelluvaHoax!, Jul 6, 2009.

View Users: View Users
  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    CoS doesn't want you crazy, they want you perfectly crazy.

    Ordinary crazy folks cause a lot of problems. They don't do what they are told.

    But perfectly crazy folks all march and answer in unison. And they are happy to obey commands like "Buy or Die!"

    I was just remembering a time I was at "the friendliest place in the world" (flag) and had this crazy idea that Scientology was supposed to make me free & happy. So, when I needed a car, I bought a car, like I had always done my whole life. New car = more freedom, more happy! Right?

    I was ordered to report to Ethics. Seems that I bought the wrong kind of car according to ron's perfect tech that makes perfectly crazy people. I apparently did not donate enough money that week to my bridge or whatever. Somebody saw me in a shiny new Porche and wrote a report on me.

    The Ethics Officer was plenty unhappy. I was sternly interrogated about whether I bought a car or not and what kind exactly. The EO took furious notes to help me as-is this crazy act by using Axiom 38 and getting the exact make, model, year, color, etc. When we got to how much I paid, it looked like the Ethics officer wanted to beat me to death with the book Introduction to Scientology Ethics.

    I thought it was a win to buy a fun car. Seems that it was a loss (of income to CoS). I suddenly got angry and stopped the "handling" that I was getting and demanded to know: "What kind of car exactly is Scientology ordering or allowing me to buy so that I am in ethics?!" The EO was more than stunned with my unexpected craziness. (a perfectly crazy person would find out what car is needed and wanted by Ron and his church before daring to make such a reckless decision on one's own without an approved CSW). I didn't back down and the perfectly unhappy Ethics Officer eventually realized that something was very, very wrong somewhere and ended off.

    It gets worse....(seriously).

    A year later after spending another small fortune on NOTS, OT VI and OTVII, I was told I needed to come up with more money for urgently needed intensives. I had been away from my company for a long time and was routing out to go back to business. When I said I didn't have the cash to buy more, naturally I was told (ordered actually) to borrow the money. I refused.

    The friendliest people in the world grew unhappier & unfriendlier the closer I got to the end of my leaving routing form.

    Suddenly I was ordered in to the org for an r-factor from the CS. (I was crazy enough to think that the Tech terminals at Flag would wish me well with all my gains from "raw meat" up to OT VII, and tell me to "come back soon" with a warm smile.) Wrong.

    A deadly-serious D of P took me into a little room and sternly informed me that the C/S says: "Unless you get this auditing right now, you are not going to make it!"

    I was stunned. A death sentence! Buy or Die!

    Here I was, the envy of the entire world, a Clear.

    But wait, that's not all...An OT VII. I was an Operating Thetan, at cause!

    I was a powerful, free and happy being, but....not really.

    None of the guarantees of scientology were true. A clear didn't live longer than a wog. An OT didn't
    become an immortal being with supernatural powers. I was "not going to make it!".

    Don't collect $300,000 from me to perfectly restore my classic Ferrari (which has been in your shop for years) and then when I come to pick it up and take it for a drive, warn me that the car is going to blow up and kill me if I don't also buy a new $50,000 engine, right now. That's a con game. That is a criminal enterprise. That is evil.

    Truth Revealed: An OT VII was a really a slave that was literally ordered to pay vast sums immediately in order to not be terrorized with death threats. If doctors did this they would be sentenced to long felonious prison sentences. Actually, mafia and street gangs run these "protection rackets" all the time ("your business is going to burn down, but we can make that little problem go away if it's worth it to you to pay a little each month..." Those guys get locked up behind bars for decades for playing God with people's lives like that.

    That's when I realized that I was crazy (according to Scn) but not perfectly crazy (the way Scn wanted me).

    I didn't buy any "freedom" after that.

    You have no idea how happy I am about that!
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2009
    • Thanks Thanks x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  2. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

  3. KnightVision

    KnightVision Gold Meritorious Patron

    Good for you man! Just great! I'm so happy for you, your thread is excellent.

  4. Feral

    Feral Rogue male

    AND you didn't die...obviously.

    False advertising too!!
  5. Tim Skog

    Tim Skog Silver Meritorious Patron

    Helluva great story Helluvahoax. I'm glad you are here now.
  6. pollywannacracker

    pollywannacracker Patron Meritorious

    Just goes to show that it's really all about the money and not personal gains, betterment or salvation.:p
  7. owl

    owl Patron with Honors

    well written post :thumbsup:
  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Thanks, i thoroughly enjoyed laughing that hard early in the morning!

    (...but, now I am wondering, if I sue CoS for false advertising, all they have to do to win the lawsuit is kill me?)
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2009
  9. Telepathetic

    Telepathetic Gold Meritorious Patron

    I'm glad a brilliant mind like yours is free continue to be brilliant:thumbsup:

    I really enjoy your posts:D :D

    Seems to me that Scilons attempt to squash all humor, which to me is the most potent therapy we have in this world--you're going to die, your eternity is at stake etc. When they can't make you into a solemn individual...they lose;we laugh,we win.

    If only I'd had a better*sense*..!:dieslaughing:

  10. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

    DAMN :goodposting: Hellavayhoax! :clap: (I wish there was a whistling thru your fingers smiley, to insert here, but there aint).

    So glad you drove away your ferrari and are enjoying LIFE, OUT!!! :thumbsup:

    And they also say THIS to routing out and blown Staff/SO, too!

    "Unless you get back on Post/Staff/SO right now, you are not going to make it!"

    (NOW I wish there was an f u smiley I could insert here!)
  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    I was going to really acknowledge you for those cool, funny and kind words... but if I use acknowledgements don't I have to pay royalties to CoS since Ron invented the com cycle ??? (need advice on who to send a check to and how much???) lol
  12. ILived1984!

    ILived1984! Patron with Honors

    Awesome post and a great example of the forced control exacted on members. How sickening that someone would write a report on you for buying a Porche!

    Oh yeah, about LRH inventing the comm cycle...

    Note that the paper this was based on was publised in 1948.

  13. FlunkedForLaughing

    FlunkedForLaughing Patron with Honors

    Great post.

    It seems so rediculous that this stuff goes on in the "church", especially when you compare it to something like a Ferrari repair, but that's how it really goes down.

    It always seemed that something was wrong when an OT couldn't afford a decent car. The OTVII mission holder was driving a POS clunker that would break down around town. He would tell me his "wins" in using his OT abilities and his ability to "confront" to fix it. I was thinking, how about confronting the fact that you drive a POS and use your OT abilities to get a better car.

    Here's something else I found amusing - I recently sold an extra set of the Basics and some other Scientology materials to an OTV. He saw my ad on Craigslist. The total sale was $700 cash. We loaded the materials into his car. His car was worth less than $700! The car looked like it, and he admitted it, and he laughed about it! :duh:

  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    QUOTE by FlunkedForLaughing:
    REASON: "OT's work best with other OT's"
    TRANSLATION: Humans pretending to be super-beings are most comfortable around other humans who are also pretending to be super-beings. That way nobody notices what super-indoctrinated-super-flakes they are to give up the fun parts of life in order to become a morbid CoS-licensed Ghostbuster.

    GOT BT'S?


    Last edited: Jul 8, 2009
  15. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Thanks so much 1984, but on second thought I realized that maybe it IS the greatest good that my comrades reported me so I could get my ethics slammed in. I am actually so grateful because I realized that Porches are made in Germany! Whew, I almost got suckered by those SPs into buying the enemy line that a Porche was a wicked fun sportscar!

    Ethics Change & Car Change! (I am now the proud owner of the CofS approved 1950 celebrate the same year of another modern scientific breakthrough in Dianetics!)
  16. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

    ....that would be me. And I take cash, too! :whistling: :D :p
  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    I decided to do conditions and an admin scale before getting my exchange in for using an ACKNOWLEDGEMENT which is Ron's precious gift to me.

    Ron says that the tech is "priceless" so I also doing a clay demo to get conceptual understanding of how I would pay for something that is "priceless"

    As soon as I finish this clay demo I will CSW.

    This is okay.

    Much Love,

    Ron.....uhh, wait! i mean HelluvaHoax!
  18. Mrs Pattycake

    Mrs Pattycake Patron with Honors

    Hi helluvaHoax,

    You hit the nail on the head there ! Well said !!!:clap:

    I had the "slave" cog too - unfortunately I had already comped OTVII by the time I had the cog - wish I could of had it a bit earlier in the piece and saved myself a bucket of money and a load of time. There I was "persisting" and "making it go right" to find out it was all for nothing.:duh:

    Your thread inspired me to finish the next part of my story and in this I detail the actual is ness of the "slave" cog from my viewpoint. ::omg:

    I'll go and post it.

    L Vick

    By the way, we may know each other - I was on the level from 96 to 07 - I am not anonymous, my name is Vicky Mackey from Australia - you can pm me if you think you do know me so we can have a private "hi".
  19. Illegal Alien

    Illegal Alien Patron with Honors

    GREAT THREAD :clap:

    And hey bloody well done on the Porsche and what ever you decide to buy next its TIME TO PLAY.:happydance:
  20. supafreak

    supafreak Patron Meritorious

    Who you gonna call? Thetanbusters! That was our raid theme last October. :coolwink:

    I should wear a Ghostbusters shirt to a raid one day, but I've also got a Superman shirt that I want to debut (I just say the big S is for Supafreak). Decisions...