CoS doesn't want you crazy, they want you perfectly crazy. Ordinary crazy folks cause a lot of problems. They don't do what they are told. But perfectly crazy folks all march and answer in unison. And they are happy to obey commands like "Buy or Die!" I was just remembering a time I was at "the friendliest place in the world" (flag) and had this crazy idea that Scientology was supposed to make me free & happy. So, when I needed a car, I bought a car, like I had always done my whole life. New car = more freedom, more happy! Right? I was ordered to report to Ethics. Seems that I bought the wrong kind of car according to ron's perfect tech that makes perfectly crazy people. I apparently did not donate enough money that week to my bridge or whatever. Somebody saw me in a shiny new Porche and wrote a report on me. The Ethics Officer was plenty unhappy. I was sternly interrogated about whether I bought a car or not and what kind exactly. The EO took furious notes to help me as-is this crazy act by using Axiom 38 and getting the exact make, model, year, color, etc. When we got to how much I paid, it looked like the Ethics officer wanted to beat me to death with the book Introduction to Scientology Ethics. I thought it was a win to buy a fun car. Seems that it was a loss (of income to CoS). I suddenly got angry and stopped the "handling" that I was getting and demanded to know: "What kind of car exactly is Scientology ordering or allowing me to buy so that I am in ethics?!" The EO was more than stunned with my unexpected craziness. (a perfectly crazy person would find out what car is needed and wanted by Ron and his church before daring to make such a reckless decision on one's own without an approved CSW). I didn't back down and the perfectly unhappy Ethics Officer eventually realized that something was very, very wrong somewhere and ended off. It gets worse....(seriously). A year later after spending another small fortune on NOTS, OT VI and OTVII, I was told I needed to come up with more money for urgently needed intensives. I had been away from my company for a long time and was routing out to go back to business. When I said I didn't have the cash to buy more, naturally I was told (ordered actually) to borrow the money. I refused. The friendliest people in the world grew unhappier & unfriendlier the closer I got to the end of my leaving routing form. Suddenly I was ordered in to the org for an r-factor from the CS. (I was crazy enough to think that the Tech terminals at Flag would wish me well with all my gains from "raw meat" up to OT VII, and tell me to "come back soon" with a warm smile.) Wrong. A deadly-serious D of P took me into a little room and sternly informed me that the C/S says: "Unless you get this auditing right now, you are not going to make it!" I was stunned. A death sentence! Buy or Die! Here I was, the envy of the entire world, a Clear. But wait, that's not all...An OT VII. I was an Operating Thetan, at cause! I was a powerful, free and happy being, but....not really. None of the guarantees of scientology were true. A clear didn't live longer than a wog. An OT didn't become an immortal being with supernatural powers. I was "not going to make it!". Don't collect $300,000 from me to perfectly restore my classic Ferrari (which has been in your shop for years) and then when I come to pick it up and take it for a drive, warn me that the car is going to blow up and kill me if I don't also buy a new $50,000 engine, right now. That's a con game. That is a criminal enterprise. That is evil. Truth Revealed: An OT VII was a really a slave that was literally ordered to pay vast sums immediately in order to not be terrorized with death threats. If doctors did this they would be sentenced to long felonious prison sentences. Actually, mafia and street gangs run these "protection rackets" all the time ("your business is going to burn down, but we can make that little problem go away if it's worth it to you to pay a little each month..." Those guys get locked up behind bars for decades for playing God with people's lives like that. That's when I realized that I was crazy (according to Scn) but not perfectly crazy (the way Scn wanted me). I didn't buy any "freedom" after that. You have no idea how happy I am about that!