Can anyone help update Ron's obituary?

Discussion in 'L Ron Hubbard' started by HelluvaHoax!, Feb 21, 2018.

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  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    It's been 32 years since Church of Scientology copywriters fashioned a fanciful mythological explanation for why the universe's greatest OT, L. Ron Hubbard, went mad and then suddenly dropped dead.

    Since 1986 the world has been stuck with that pack of stupid lies about how Hubbard was so OT that he couldn't keep a body any more. And, in selfless, Christ-like fashion, he sacrificed his own body in order to save mankind (by going into deep space to "researched advanced levels" without a body).

    Not only is this ludicrous story-telling (worse than the humiliating bomb Battlefield Earth, to be sure) what's even worse is that NOBODY HAS RE-WRITTEN OR CORRECTED THE CULT'S OBSCENE EULOGY. Ergo, mankind has been stuck ever since with a steaming hot, Hubbardian hagiographical pile of Big Lies.

    It's time to replace that "impediment shedding" abomination with a clear and unambiguous statement on the death of the universe's greatest OT.

    ONLY RULE: YOU'VE GOT TEN WORDS OR LESS TO CORRECT RON'S ACCEPTABLE OBITUARY.

    ----------------------------------------------------​


    OT died on purpose. First time Hubbard did greatest good.

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  2. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    I'll have a go!

    Can anyone help update Ron's obituary? ---- Nope. 'e's still dead! :horse:

    Jack
     
  3. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    One of the world's finest and cleverest con-artists.
     
  4. Tanchi

    Tanchi Patron with Honors

    His body caught up with his teeth. ElRot Hubbard dead.
     
  5. screamer2

    screamer2 Occam's Ball Crusher

    The work was free a lie. Keep it so.
     
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  6. F.Bullbait

    F.Bullbait Oh, a wise guy,eh?

    Just another bad case of static cling.
     
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  7. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Anti-Psychiatry cult leader dies with Vistaril in his butt.
     
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  8. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    He's scrubbing the floors of hells asylum ... with a toothbrush.


    :devil:
     
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  9. George Layton

    George Layton Silver Meritorious Patron

    Should have un-created MEST freeing Thetans instead of traveling Space.
     
  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .


    Cruel messianic imposter blows.
    Parishioners stand & cheer his overts.

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  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    ..

    Something odd about that last one I just posted.

    It had almost an almost rhythmic, zen feel to it.

    Reminded me of a Haiku. So, out of curiosity, I had to check out out if it would fit in that 5-7-5 syllable paradigm:

    Cruel messianic
    imposter blows. Parishion-
    ers stand, cheer his overts.


    Not really, but kinda. LOL

    .
     
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  12. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    "I'd never had a second obituary."
    Hubbard interview on Target II
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
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  13. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    For this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You Win the Internet for today! :heartflower:

    Jack
     
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  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .
    No replacement CSW.
    No leaving sec check.
    KSW? No. . .
    Squirrel!
    .
     
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  15. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    ..
    Guru from another planet.
    He just got his ass extradited.

    .
     
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  16. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Let's not speculate here how Ron rose above all Court Summonses...
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
  17. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    tombstone6.jpg
     
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  18. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    I wrote this one a long time ago...in a guh lack sea far, far away...

    tombstone.jpg
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
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  19. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    Cruel messianic
    imposter blows. Fans applaude
    cheering his overts


    5-7-5
    :giggle:
     
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  20. The_Fixer

    The_Fixer Class Clown

    His body was never found under all that bullshit...

    There. One word to spare!
     
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