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coming out as an ex cult member

Balthasar

Patron Meritorious
In cult recovery how do you explain to regular people that you were in a cult for years and not have it sound like bs or you were an idiot or knowingly complicit in crimes? How can you be accepted as possibly sane after serving a group less popular than the KKK and that pays SO slaves less than Chinese slave laborers and gives RPFers less rights than convicts and forces young girls to have abortions ? I feel like it's going to be a tough sell to explain mind control , misdirection,etc to people who don't know and don't believe it's possible. I also don't know how to explain going from a fanatic who slavishly loved lrh and would've killed or died for scientology to a critic who doesn't believe any of the doctrine and that just a few months study up to the affirmations and completely stopping thinking in the language has resulted in a complete change in loyalties and beliefs; it just seems like more change than is possible in a human being, especially after decades of cult membership. Please tell me how it's gone for you guys. thanks
:p

Why not tell people that you worked for the Scientology cult whenever the subject comes up. I would feel extremely uncomfortable pretending not knowing anything while my friends or the the people I am with, discuss it. I always tell them. Oddly enough, nobody ever asks for details. Perhaps because I don't look like a cultie.

Beside that, why would one even care what other people think about oneself? If you run around worrying wether or not other people approve what you do or have done in the past, you are not free but a prisoner. You have got to free yourself of cult shackles but not only that, you also have to break free of religions preconceptions, society moral codes and, I am sure most will disagree, even laws.

Laws may one day tell you point a gun at your fellow man and shoot. Will you do it?

You are your own master. It's YOU who has to live with YOURSELF forever. No other person can truly judge onother person. Only the person itself can - and will.

Beside that, seriously, WTF would it be somebody elses business what I choose to be involved in?

If nothing helps - please make this your new religion:

"WTF is it somebody elses business what I did"

repeat this until the need for approval disappears:)
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
Another never-in here. I too don't find it to be all that unusual that someone would be suckered into joining an organization like $cientology. Especially with the love bombing bit at the beginning. Probably the area that I most still don't truly understand is the staying in. But having never been subjected to brainwashing techniques and all the peer pressure, etc. I've come to the conclusion that unless one actually experienced it, no one can ever really "understand". So be it. But I have a whole lot of compassion for all those who have been through it.
snipped

Ah yes, why do people stay in???

I can tell you from experience: The cult works VERY well at playing on two key things: HOPE and FEAR.

Most people (especially young idealistic people) have great hope for improving things: themselves, others, the world at large. Scientology promises to help them improve EVERYTHING.

The other one, FEAR, is probably what really keeps people in over the long run. Once someone buys the clear and OT crap, there is FEAR that something bad will happen if they don't keep going. Fear of ethics, fear of pricey confessionals, fear of being clear and "being at risk", fear of being overwhelmed by their "case", fear of hidden implants, fear of "psychs", fear of being cut off from loved ones and friends if they leave. The list of things to be feared (for those who've been in a number of years) goes on and on and on.
 

DeeAnna

Patron Meritorious
I borrow a line from Bill Clinton, yeah I tried Scientology:biggrin: when I was young "but I never inhaled"


This is good. ^^^^^^^ :clap::clap:


Speaking as a "never-in", you all need to understand that people really don't give a shyte - even those who are asking questions about it. For the most part, people have no idea whatever what they are asking. They know very little to nothing about $cientology. If they are asking at all, it is likely out of some sort of "politeness" or "evidencing of interest in the other person".

My advice is to have "stock answers" prepared and rehearsed for "stock questions".

Person at party: "So I heard you used to be a $cientologist"
You: "Oh, yeah" said with a tone somewhere between disgust and grudging acknowledgement.

Person at party: "So what was that like?"
You: "Well, it was different."

Person at party: "Huh. Well, I heard that it's a cult"
You: "Yeah, I heard that too."

Person at party: "Well, was it?"
You: "What, you mean was it a cult?"

Person at party: "Yeah"
You: "Actually, when I was in it, I didn't think so, but after getting out of it, I thought it was."

Person at party: "Well, how long were you in it?"
You: "Too long. And how about you? You seem very interested in this. Any particular reason?"

Person at party: "Oh no. Just curious."
You: "Well, you know what? Someday if you ever really want to sit down and discuss the ''Church of $cientology" I'd be happy to do that with you. But for right now, how about if I just say that I got hooked in because Tom Cruise and John Travolta thought it was such great organization?"

Person at party: "Yeah, I hear you. Hey, do you believe that stuff about John Travolta being gay?"
 

Elronius of Marcabia

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thanks Dee Anna :)

In 35 years of no Scientology I've only been asked the question once
and after a couple minutes we were discussing what was goofier Mormon or
Scientology since he had an ex girlfriend who was Mormon.

Who won ? I think it was a draw, but we both had some good laffs:yes:
 
I've was awakened to the falsehood 4 years ago. I did the "unthinkable" and started googling. My kids and I frequently watch funny videos on YouTube, and you know how you can click the next and the next and the next etc? Well, soon enough I found myself watching the Xenu story. Then I sent the kids to bed and searched for more and more. That lasted 5 days and almost no sleep. Since then, I have nightmares of everything I endured as a kid of the CofS, in the SO as a kid at PAC during the CC INT reno, the RPF at the CC INT reno, and all of my family, which are still "in". I still have, about 3 or 4 times a year, episodes where I cry because of what happened to me and all of the pure abuse my whole life. I joined here so that I could read, and maybe find some solace that I am not alone.

BeenLiedTo
 

Lulu Belle

Moonbat
I've was awakened to the falsehood 4 years ago. I did the "unthinkable" and started googling. My kids and I frequently watch funny videos on YouTube, and you know how you can click the next and the next and the next etc? Well, soon enough I found myself watching the Xenu story. Then I sent the kids to bed and searched for more and more. That lasted 5 days and almost no sleep. Since then, I have nightmares of everything I endured as a kid of the CofS, in the SO as a kid at PAC during the CC INT reno, the RPF at the CC INT reno, and all of my family, which are still "in". I still have, about 3 or 4 times a year, episodes where I cry because of what happened to me and all of the pure abuse my whole life. I joined here so that I could read, and maybe find some solace that I am not alone.

BeenLiedTo


You are not alone.

:hug:
 
In cult recovery how do you explain to regular people that you were in a cult for years and not have it sound like bs or you were an idiot or knowingly complicit in crimes? How can you be accepted as possibly sane after serving a group less popular than the KKK and that pays SO slaves less than Chinese slave laborers and gives RPFers less rights than convicts and forces young girls to have abortions ? I feel like it's going to be a tough sell to explain mind control , misdirection,etc to people who don't know and don't believe it's possible. I also don't know how to explain going from a fanatic who slavishly loved lrh and would've killed or died for scientology to a critic who doesn't believe any of the doctrine and that just a few months study up to the affirmations and completely stopping thinking in the language has resulted in a complete change in loyalties and beliefs; it just seems like more change than is possible in a human being, especially after decades of cult membership. Please tell me how it's gone for you guys. thanks
:p

Life's a Bitch.

PS. I don't tell anyone how stupid I have been unless they tell me something equivalent first.

PPS. I am not a Catholic anymore. Don't have to confess to people.
Not a scientologist anymore. Don't have to give "R factors", etc.
 

phenomanon

Canyon
One way around this that I have used is when new acquaintances ask "what did you do before you retired?", I tell them that I worked for an International Non-Profit Organization. Hopefully, that ends the matter.
 

Operating Wog

Patron with Honors
I'm in the "nobody knows I'm an ex" camp. That's the solution that worked for me. Sucks carrying around that secret for the last 15 years, but not really that bad. The more it moves into my past, the less important it all is. I used to fear being "outed", but now, whatever. I'm not going to bring it up, but if someone finds out and has a hard time with something I did decades ago, screw them.
 
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