Feeling too much???

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by acousticologist, Mar 25, 2016.

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  1. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    I suspect that it's a physical manifestation of subtle energy discharging through the 6th (brow) chakra just like yawns and sighs are a physical manifestation of discharge through the 5th (throat) chakra. If I ever think of a way of testing this I'll do so!

  2. Helena Handbasket

    Helena Handbasket Gold Meritorious Patron

    Gee, acousticologist, you started this thread, got over 30 replies, and haven't been back to read them.

    If we're going to support you, at least come back and read the replies.

    We're a very helpful bunch and will be there for you when needed.

  3. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    How do you know he/she hasn't been back to read them? There is simply no reply is all, don't jump to conclusions. It can be very hard to post here at first, and people do have other things to do in life.

    I always think of the hundreds of guests who read here every day. Maybe our replies will help someone else. :)
  4. acousticologist

    acousticologist New Member

    I've been back here. reading the responses. Thank you.

    My moods / motivations are swinging daily.

    I feel that I want to return to the org, and complete my training. At least just finish the course I was doing. No one at the org knows I've been on here or what's been going on. I haven't listened to LRH or read anything for a few months. Perhaps I can get better perspective on what I was doing and feeling by re-visiting.

    I feel silly for having vented here. . . But to be honest, I feel isolated, disconnected from people, and unable to express my thoughts or feelings with anyone I can really trust or confide in. .

    Thank you so much for listening, and offering your thoughts. There is a wealth of knowledge here, and support. But I don't feel ready. I can't explain it. I just feel it.

    Hope I didn't trouble you too much here.
  5. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Totally cool ... again, many people have walked the same path.

    You know where we are. :)
  6. TrevAnon

    TrevAnon Big List researcher

    I was never in so this is just my 2 cents.

    No. :omg: Just don't. You sound like an addict thinking about taking another shot, just one last time. This may sounds harsh, but I don't have better words right now. :(

    Good for you.

    No. Please. No. :ohmy:

    It's not silly what you are doing here. You're looking for help, for an outside perspective. That's a courageous thing to do.

    AFAIAC ESMB is and will always be a source for people who are looking to get out. Others who were in have given excellent advice.

    Please try and come back. You don't need the COS to live your life.

    Thousands of others have gone through the same, more or less.

    Talk to us. It will help you. :yes:
  7. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Ahh Trev mate, you are so right.

    The thing is that it's like breaking out of the Matrix. Sometimes one step forward two back, then 2 forward and one back.
    I went back twice in my life, 3rd time lucky. :biggrin:
  8. ThetanExterior

    ThetanExterior Gold Meritorious Patron

    Don't do it.

    You can't just finish a course then say goodbye. They won't let you out of the building until you've signed-up for another course or auditing or whatever.

    You seem to be in a position where you haven't been back there for a while and they're not hassling you. That is a very good position to be in.

    Don't mess it up by going back there. I speak from experience.
  9. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    And if they think you are ambivalent about Scientology, you are likely in for a long night. They WILL demand you pay for sec-checking.
  10. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    Acousticologist. Very few of us here at ESMB have a vested interest in wanting to dissuade you from going back and finishing your course. We don't have anything to gain personally by stopping you, and we don't have a stat of 'people successfully prevented...'.

    We just don't want you to make the same mistake that a lot of us here made, like being flattered by the love-bombing or being fooled by all the talk of 'super-powers' etc etc.

    My advice. Quit while you're still ahead and before you get in any deeper.
  11. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    I believe that is HE&R and human beings have feeling for a reason. If your feelings were suppressed by Scientology during the time you were in, they will come out.

    When we left, (me and my Tu Dee and other family members) we noticed that all of the feelings we suppressed in Scientology, through auditing and thought stopping techniques, came flooding into our "systems".

    Tons of grief and sadness mixed with anger due to finding out we had been betrayed by the "church" of Scientology BIG TIME.

    It took a while to get them out and occasionally they come back when we get triggered by loss and betrayal.

    It is normal and the feelings will pass. Feel them and maybe try to write them down. to get them out.

    Find a good friend to let you vent. That will help!
  12. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

    No trouble at all. A lot of people work their way out of Scientology through a long circuitous path after a series of red flags and disappointments. Doubts set in for very good reasons and the biggest mistake is to not examine the causes and logic behind these doubts more closely and continue on in blind obedience and devotion.

    For the public consumption Scientology promotes freedom of thought, expression and will but organizationally it forms a construct that ultimately inverts all these these things towards the Church's self interest.

    I hope you will invest more time researching what others have said on-line but if you do go back please let us know how it went and what you observed.
  13. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Of cours , should you decide your place is in the org then that is what you should do - 100% your choice about your life.

    But, as I bolded above, the difficulty you will one day have to face is not feeling safe in honestly communicating in a group that prides itself on having mastered communication.

    As you feel not ready to leave that group, don't.

    You know how to get on ESMB & can find out where people are that will help when you decide it is time for another decision for your life other than scn.

    I sincerely wish you well in your life choices !

    & for other readers, my partner & I find that now - after TWENTY FIVE YEARS OUT OF SCN - are sharing things with one another that we never felt safe enough while we were in to share with one another !
    Had we felt sfe enough to honestly share with one another ours thoughts & doubts ? We'd have hauled ass out of scn some TWENTY TEARS BEFORE we actually did !.
  14. Hypatia

    Hypatia Pagan

    The problem with Scientology is that they forbid any dissent and you cannot speak freely there about any concerns you have. It's just not open.

    When you finish the course, they will push you to sign up for another. They're required to. This, among other things, makes it very hard to break away.
  15. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    Anyone who has researched Scientology and has read the well documented horror stories that proliferate the Internet who still chooses to continue, is certainly free to do so.

    But the odds are quite high that it may well be the last free choice you will make for a very long time.
    Coercive persuasion and undue influence are very real and not to be taken lightly.

    One thing you can never say is you weren't warned.
  16. Helena Handbasket

    Helena Handbasket Gold Meritorious Patron

    Now is that a Freudian slip or what? :)