Finally saying hello and would love feedback

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by muchhappiernow, Jan 16, 2018.

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  1. After having been "out" for 17 years, iin for 30 previously, it seems the brain washing and ridiclous ideas I bought into have no more "left" me than I have grown another head. I thought I had somehow left the pesky influences that captured me, kept me on a treadmill within the organization for 30 plus years.

    Short update: My life is at a crossoads. I seem to have inexplicably ended up in a culdesac, and wondering WTF and how did I get here. Googling around on the internet, I found a site by Terrance Gorski. It detailed hypnotism and mind control from the early ages. I realized that the explanations of hypnotism to explain what happened to me/us while under scientologys inflemce were more true and pervasive than I had ever acknowledged. thought Arnie was a bit "over the top", but am realizing he may not have been. I thought I was a pretty smart cookie-reading here for years, reading everything I could get my hands on to try and pull myself out of it. But I am realizing the idea that I was "free of them" ((OT 7 joke) is ridiculous. I am still drawn to the use of auditing to help me find and spot my problems, and would to this day love an L1C, or a good 53 to an fning list. This I just finally admitted to myself.
    I seem to have NOT absorbed what others have done to eradicate and remove these viruses of the mind. Despite reading here, other places etc. It seems to be as varied as why any of us got in in the first place-which always seemed to me to be different from person to person. I do not want to "hook up" with any exs still practicing, and would love to hear what "deprogramming" techniques have worked (in their own estimation) for others.
    Spot the times you violated your own common sense? There has GOT to be something beneficial reflection wise.
    I am posting here now because I want to move forward and be a part of a community that is healing, not just standing outside looking in.
    Mike and Leah are a tremendous testament to the fact one can regain their faculties.
    I am doubting mine ever had time to develop and grow,having gotten in at such an early age.
    So hello!
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  2. Out Ethics

    Out Ethics Out Ethics Ex Ethics Officer

    WELCOME to EXSMB - MuchHappier! You are drawn to auditing because you were under the influence of Scientology Marketing for all those years and that was a need implanted into your subconscious through repetition. "Go Clear" and then everyone talking about how great auditing is.....sets us up for an addiction to auditing.

    The way out of that programmed Scientology shit in your mind - is to get all the information you can find on mind control and study it.

    Ask yourself in present time - what do I believe now constantly and write it down.

    You have to reprogram your mind with the information you WANT to have.

    Here are some articles and also Steve Hassan and Margaret Singer understand cults and how the mind control methods are used.

    Arnie Lerma is SPOT ON! Read his stuff.

    Honestly - the way out is the way through learning how Hubbard conned and persuaded people to join and be loyal to his cult.

    Study up on Rhetorical writing. Gib has a thread on Dean Wilbur - Hubbard's professor.

    This information is abundantly available in libraries and on the internet.

    Believe me - I was a total and utter MESS when I stopped doing Scientology. Now - I am pretty much disabused of the Scientology implanted ideas.

    I still have relapses and triggers that set me off...but I am recovering nicely and restoring my sanity one day at a time.

    Margaret Singer says ex cult members need


    Find someone to talk to that will listen to you about your cult involvement. I could not find anyone around me (they are all IN Scientology) so I used an ex Mormon to talk to. I also had a great 2-D Wog that would listen....It helped.
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  3. ThetanExterior

    ThetanExterior Gold Meritorious Patron

    The internet has opened up a huge range of self-help systems/books/ideas. You don't need Hubbard's lame correction lists.

    Look around for other things that can help you.

    Coincidentally I too have been out for about 17 years and in that time I've discovered so much about the mind/self-help and life in general that scientology tech has shrunk to be just an insignificant little irrelevance that I used to be involved with.
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  4. Veda

    Veda Sponsor

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  5. TrevAnon

    TrevAnon Big List researcher

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  6. phenomanon

    phenomanon Canyon

    Hi. You know, sometimes I just don't "get it".
    I don't get why a Solo Auditor can't pull out an LIC, or a C/S 53, and audit himself on it.
    I'm sure there's one available on the Net somewhere.
    Would someone elucidate?
    O..and Welcome, much happier.
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  7. hummingbird

    hummingbird Patron with Honors

    I found just plain living life eventually reprogrammed me. I was shown the door because my then-husband was consorting with known SPs (this was back in the 80s). I had a baby, went back to school in a totally unrelated field (computer science), got a job at a software company, and never looked back.

    I also never looked in again. To me it was an unbelievable relief not to have to deal with the contents of my head. No reading about mind control or hypnosis, just forging ahead in life, deciding on my goals along the way, having fun and new adventures when they presented themselves.

    The idea of selfsolo-auditing a CS53 or an L1C or any of Hubtard's crappola makes me want to scream. Why bother with that nonsense?

    Welcome @muchhappiernow, may your journey be awesome!
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  8. Veda

    Veda Sponsor

    There was a Paul's Robot Auditor L1C, although I can't seem to find it at this time.

    The Paul's Robot information that I came across, while searching for it, says the L1C list was developed around 1963 by Alan C. Walter.

    I did come across some videos by Paul. Here are two.

    Self Analysis Auditing

    Voodoo Doll Project Force
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  9. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    I would suggest you first examine the stuff you (and we) bought into.
    I strongly recommend you watch these.
    You're the person this conference was designed for.
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  10. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    I have my own formula for finding Total Freedom:
    Do your basics!

    Think for yourself.

    Make up your own mind.

    After reading these books, you'll have your own opinions and conclusions about
    everything, whatever those turn out to be. You may have to read some of them a
    couple times to really gain the "full conceptual understanding" of what's gone on
    and purge it out of your mind . . . or not. I had to.

    I also suggest reading this thread in its entirety, paying special attention to all
    the posts by "cowboy."

    Thread: cowboy's "trepidatious"

    I found his anecdotes and conclusions to be very revealing and very freeing. I've
    confirmed his bona fides and trust his truthfulness and reliability.

    Read those books and identify your own truths about life.
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  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Upon jettisoning Dr. Hubbard's technology, I not only experienced an unbelievable relief but to my great surprise (for the first time in decades) my "TO DO" list actually reduced down to manageable size!

    It was quite miraculous, because within 24 hours of leaving Scientology i was able to handle 99.99% of my TO DO list, by crossing off both "clearing this planet" and "salvaging this sector"!

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  12. exseaorgclocmoflagetc

    exseaorgclocmoflagetc Patron with Honors

    it took me almost 25 years to fully peel the layers of the onion...and fully realize every ounce of it is a complete and utter scam. Take your'll get there. Keep reading and watching people's stories on the internet. Its funny because I witnessed most of what everyone has said was bad, and what happened to me was one of the worst case stories, but it took me a long time to register it as not right and wrong to happen to me and others. Cognitive dissonance for sure. Good luck
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2018
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  13. Miss Ellie

    Miss Ellie Miss Ellie


    Everyone finds a different road out. Some are straight... some have curves & turns. Nothing says you have to end the journey on the road you started on. Sometimes you keep the bags with you and some you toss out the window while on your trip. If you have not tossed all the bags are they at least a little lighter than when you started? If yes then you are making progress... if no roll the window down and toss a little harder.

    Sounds like time to re-invent yourself and your life... what fun. When you hear echos of sciobotdom just stick your fingers in your ears and sing a different song. I know it is not that easy... but you can do it - look how far you have come.

    My thoughts are:
    Who cares why you got in... you are out now.
    When the past bites you on the ass learn from it... and forgive yourself for not being "clear" of it.
    Keep looking forward - learn from the past - FORGIVE YOURSELF for being taken in.
    No one does the dishes the same..or makes a bed the same.. no one recovers the same.
    Accept "it" may stay with you - but that is no reason not to enjoy today.

    Keep your eye on the rainbows end and keep us updated on how you are doing.
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  14. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Silver Meritorious Patron

    Hi and welcome

    I was "active" three years and "inactive" now fortyfour years

    I'm a fierce critic of abuses and friend to some vehement "SP's"


    Once an auditor always an auditor

    Have you looked into Freezone?
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  15. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    @muchhappiernow mentioned sometimes wanting to get hold of a list Birdie ... not a whole new cult ... and she specifically mentioned not wanting to hook up with any still practising exes.

    Has anyone got a copy of an LIC or a 53 that they could let muchhappiernow have a copy of?

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  16. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    me too, LOL

    Scientologists think they are saving the world, LOL

    Last edited: Jan 18, 2018
  17. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

  18. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

  19. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Silver Meritorious Patron

    What a pleasure it is to go from clearing the planet to planning the claret.
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  20. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    I read the 1st 3 Power vs Force books by David R. Hawkins and this completely eliminated any need for Scientology and there's no loss. Also, I don't "need" anything.

    What a relief!