FROM ORIGINS TO OFFLOAD

Discussion in 'Life After Scientology' started by vumba, Dec 29, 2011.

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  1. Petey C

    Petey C Silver Meritorious Patron

    Vumba, when I finally left the SO I felt wonderfully liberated. What was most exhilarating though was to know that I didn't have to be afraid of anything for the rest of my life because the worst had already happened to me. I hope the same is true of you.
     
  2. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    :thankyou::bighug:

    Wow. That is quite a story Vumba, thanks! Please, as more bits come to light, and more details emerge, add them to this thread. That "era" in Scientology is heavily (overly?) romanticized, and, as you know, became the template for a repressive, controlling and destructive cult. So the more light that can be shed on that era, the better.

    For example, LRH's focus on hygiene for the ship was probably "a good thing" given the comings and goings of so many "random particles", but the extreme to which it was taken borders on the unbelievable.

    On a personal note, how is your brother doing? How did you and your family "find the exit", so to speak?

    Again, much thanks for this post!
     
  3. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    thank you! My brother(s) are both doing extremely well thanks. Having been through what we did, somehow made us incredibly strong, and getting back up again, and again after being knocked down builds up an amazing resilience and fortitude that no one person now, in Scientology can ever break through! The key is positivity and love of family. It is also an utter and blind determination that nothing like this will ever come between us again.
     
  4. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    Hi and thanks. Yes I totally and utterly agree! There was (and still is) a complete realisation that nothing will get that bad again, and this means that our confront levels are very high, and our coping mechanisms are heightened when confronted with life's relatively minor challenges when compared to those in the SO days. My anger towards the regime is very clean when I say "how dare they"! HOW DARE THEY and be allowed to get away with, still even todayN hence my motivation for telling my story and joining this site.

    :yes:
     
  5. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    :yes:
     
  6. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    Hi and thank you for your reply. I realise that, along with many Govts and regimes too. They were all at it, and still are. I guess I just know that to be true to myself is to simply tell what I bore witness to, and hope it can make a difference to even one person, as we will never eradicate the in-depth infiltration. Yes, I hooked up with my dad again who was still doing his Interpol type works, but we were obviously not privvy to details! When I worked in the GO I did see and hear snippets when Agency bins of shredding were being stolen and stuck together again, or when Agents were sent into offices to spy so nothing surprsed me then, and nothing now! I am aware the evil goes on, I just choose not to engage nor invest any time on dwelling on it. :wink2:
     
  7. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    Hi Angelo. I knew an Angelo on the OEC\FEBC at Flag? Thanks so much for your reply. Yes thanks we have all done really well and coped in this "scary wog world" :eek:). But all somehow more resilient and so much stronger for our ordeals, with a good strong work ethic! Oh dear it sounds like going through the ordeal was a good thing! I jest.. No all is well in the land of Wog
    :eyeroll:
     
  8. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    Thank you! We are all survivors! my story doesn't end there, it did get worse, but I got up again, dusted myself off, held my head up high and I am still here! Never let the bastards get you down,whoop whoop!

    :eyeroll:
     
  9. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    Going back to the Apollo for a moment, one must never forget a young boy, about the same age as me at aged 12 who was locked up on LRH’s orders in the twin screw locker room at the aft of the ship. We are not talking about a “safe” place at all, just a ledge in a loud, noisy screw room where you could see the water churning below. I know his name, but to protect his identity will not mention it here in case he should wish to do this himself one day. He was screaming and shouting to be let out. He was imprisoned against his will, and absolutely terrified. How long he was in there, I have no ideas, but ethics was being meted out I can tell you!! Wherever you are L, I do so hope you made it and are happy.
    When I hear music from the 1970’s, I am reminded just how much our childhood was taken away from us. We never got to experience what it was like to be a real teenager, to go to nightclubs, have a drink in a pub, date people our own age, dress up and have fun. I was yanked out of school in the middle of my ‘A’ levels to work for the GO for Judy Tampion. Over the years, as I have dated men who never had anything to do with Scientology and hear about their teenage years, and my teenagehood bears no resemblance to theirs in any way, shape or form. Another aspect to all of this was that sex before marriage was frowned upon, and the single women and girls slept in dormitories, as did the single men and boys. Married couples had their own rooms. After I had been back at Stonelands from the Ship for a couple of years, I had my first relationship at aged 14. He was in his 20’s! The relationship was not stamped upon, but we were told that I was not to go to a pub or be seen out in public with him as it would be bad PR. The illicitness of the relationship was exciting, but being so young I didn’t realise the implications and dangers of getting involved with someone so much older than me and me being so young. It ended up with my being raped. I was so ashamed and scared of getting into trouble with the Ethics Officer (I think it was Monica Quirino at the time), that I didn’t tell a soul. I was in a lot of pain as I had been sodomised, and had been pinned down by the perpetrator as he was skilled in martial arts and I had no chance at all of getting away. Needless to say, the only way it eventually came out was that he had got married soon afterwards, and confessed to his wife. She was an American lady who came back from the States from whence he had ended up and told my mother. However, despite this, nothing was ever done about it. I started dating someone a little time later, and he was very good to me, but left to go to GOLD so the relationship came to an end, but if it weren’t for him, I am not sure how I would have recovered from the original ordeal! I am not sure I ever told him about what had happened to me, but nevertheless he gave me the support I needed at the time, albeit unknowingly.
    There is more to relate, but I will take a breather for a wee bit. Thank you for reading our story.
     
  10. AngeloV

    AngeloV Gold Meritorious Patron

    Good grief, vumba!! You have overcome an enormously painful experience! It really pisses me off when I hear about this horrid behavior. God, I just want to do really nasty things to perpetrators of rape. Argh! :angry: The guy probably knew he was going to get away with it. Bastard should be in jail.

    And of course the scio's didn't 'stamp upon' the relationship...you're a thetan in a small body after all. It's only in the wog world that it's illegal for a 14 year old to date a 20 year old.

    I was in the SO at Flag in 1980 for about 6 months before I realized that scio was a fairy tale and a con. I never took the OEC/FEBC, but if you saw an EPF'er scrubbing floors or shampooing carpets, it might have been me. My profile has a recent pic of me.

    You are a hell of a survivor, ma'am.
     
  11. Div6

    Div6 Crusader


    And for that, I am thankful. Scn has such an unhealthy viewpoint re: sex. It seems that it is only spoken about in sessions or ethics interviews, otherwise it is taboo. Such a puritanical incubator is not only a bad thing waiting to happen, but negates the whole "ability to talk to anyone on any subject" ideal. Sex can be good (really, really good) or bad or meaningless or a complete violation of ones sovereignty...any number of things, but it is something most all people DO at one point or another. Avoidance of the issue creates vacuums capable of great harm.

    I am happy that someone was at least "there for you" even though unknowing...my girls learned martial arts at a relatively early age, for which I am thankful.
     
  12. Petey C

    Petey C Silver Meritorious Patron

    My god, Vumba, what a thing for a young girl to experience. I am appalled and shocked. While I'm usually a peaceable person, I think this sort of personal violation of an underage girl should be brought to the attention of the authorities.
     
  13. Axiom142

    Axiom142 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Wow!

    Thank you so much for recounting this so eloquently for us Vumba. This is why the cult must be stopped.

    This must have been difficult for you, but also cathartic as well, I hope.

    Obviously I had already heard a small part of this before, but to see it all laid out here was a very sobering experience. Even with what we know of the paranoia and stupidity extant in the cult at this time, it beggars belief that this should have been allowed to happen to you. Of course, we know that similar things happened to many other children, but to hear it first hand is truly shocking.

    It is so important that you tell your story so that we and everyone else (including those that think that Hubbard was a saint and never did anything wrong) can know what really went on in ‘the good old days’.

    I was glad to hear that you have been able to discuss this with your mother. Is there any chance that she might be persuaded to tell her story?

    Also, do you have any more personal stories about Hubbard? For example, I have heard that he needed glasses but never allowed himself to be photographed wearing them. Did you see this?

    Thank you once again, I look forward to hearing more of your story.

    Axiom142
     
  14. Axiom142

    Axiom142 Gold Meritorious Patron

    About 4 years ago, when I had just left the cult, I had an exchange of emails with John Duignan, who I had known while I was in the SO.

    John said something about wanting to get the cult shut down and that he expected that I wanted this too.

    At the time I thought “Actually no, I don’t particularly want to shut the CoS down. I don’t have any objection to people practising Scientology per se, and if they want to organise themselves into a ‘church’, then fine, let them do it.”

    Well, of course John was in the Sea Org a lot longer than I was and he saw a lot more of the abuses and especially how children were treated. But even so, I didn’t necessarily agree with him on this point.

    Now I have changed my mind.

    Not just now, but this reinforces my reversal of opinion. The so called ‘Church’ of Scientology has to be dismantled. Anything that can allow, no, cause something like this to happen not once, but probably hundreds of times, cannot be salvaged.

    What sort of evil takes over a person so that they think children barely in their teens can be sent away from everyone they know, including their family to work on a ship where ordinary laws don’t apply. Where children can be locked in a chain locker or the screw compartment for the most minor of offences? Or where a child is raped and the first thought is not to give love and support to the victim, but to think of how it can be covered up so it won’t harm your ‘church’?

    Truly despicable. Any organisation that can breed this sort of thinking doesn’t deserve to survive and in fact should be humanely put down as a warning to all those other fanatical groups who feel that they are ‘the chosen’.

    Whenever I think about writing my story, I read something like this and I think, “Huh, what have you got to complain about?” I wasted some of the best years of my life, spent close to £100K and I got off lightly. Vumba is only a few years older than I am and if my parents had got sucked into the cult around this time, this could have been me. Or what if I had had children and they had been stolen into the Sea Org?

    No, I got off lightly.

    Axiom142
     
  15. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    There really are no words are there? :bigcry:
    Well actually there are....and many more to come.

    I think you are remarkable and I wish I had known more at the time, only I was lost in my own nightmare, and there was no recourse or safe haven really. Only snatching love and normality where it could be found, in little pockets here and there.

    I get the feeling you are very wise, though small compensation for the horrors.

    Thankyou for having the courage to speak out.
     
  16. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    I am really glad to hear that Ax.

    I remember when I first joined the board and started talking, it seemed an impossible task to even begin to describe what happens to families, and especially children within the confines of the 'tech'. John saw much of it, and experienced it as well and his outrage and heartbreak is well justified and I'm glad he and others speak out.

    I think that rape was probably more common than can be imagined, there are more stories emerging all this time later and it took me 30 years to even mention it myself. There was absolutely no way there could be justice, care or support for a rape victim in those times and no doubt it is the same today. It always came back to "out ethics" and "you pulled it in" which makes recovery a very long haul. And 'ethics' and "PR" will always be a part of scientology and to me it is one of the most destructive aspects of all. I still see the effects of it in my family today as no doubt Vumba does in hers, and so many thousands of others.

    I hope that anyone reading this who was raped or abused while in scientology understands that it is ok to speak out now, to gain the support and understanding that may be needed... and that it was not right or your fault!
     
  17. Caliwog

    Caliwog Patron Meritorious

    Hi Vumba, thank you very, very much for telling your story. There are so many people who believe the crap about "the good old days when Hubbard was in charge" that it's more important than ever that people who were THERE tell the truth about what really happened.

    Harmless religion, my ass. I wonder what that heap o' crap Hubbard was doing while you were being violently attacked right there on his ship.
     
  18. vumba

    vumba Patron with Honors

    Thank you for your reply. I want the people who doubt how sadistic LRH could be, to read all of our stories and try to defend them! The truth is the truth. Whilst we were being locked up, restrained, deprived, LRH was receiving his caviar and champagne and going out on shore parties on his Harleys! :ohmy:
     
  19. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    Vumba,


    I don't know what to say ... adults getting themselves caught up in that sick cult is one thing, children being dragged into it is quite another.



    :blowkiss:
     
  20. Kookaburra

    Kookaburra Gold Meritorious Patron

    Vumba, thank-you for your story. It is important that these things are told. It is essential to prevent them from recurring.

    I am glad to hear that you are doing well in life now that you are out.