Hello everyone. Here for my very first visit. I first heard about Scn in 1972 while on a flight back to New York, from the passenger sitting next to me. It sounded very interesting. Then I was walking in Central Park, NY and there was a guy talking about it. I figured maybe I ought to go check this out. I went to some Hotel on 33rd Street (I think that's where it was- it's been quite a long time ago) and bought my very first book "A New Slant on Life" Well...my journey started there and ended up years later with me being in the RPF in Los Angeles. What transpired during the years in between was quite an experience needless to say and when I escaped one night, running like hell in the pouring rain and looking over my shoulder to see if I was being pursued, my feelings were very mixed...mostly feeling disillusioned (hence my name but I had to spell it with a "z" because somebody else here is already using it) and disbelief that here I was now "homeless" in the dark in the rain, in the street. I was penniless. I had no ID. I was starving. I never thought I'd do it, but I went through a trash can and found some discarded French fries and a partly eaten cheeseburger from a McDonalds, but compared to some of the crap I had in the RPF...this was a gourmet meal. I asked a stranger for a quarter to make a phone call to my dad. His artic response was "Well you made your choices and look where you ended up, so work it out and don't call me again. Wow! Just the compassion I needed at that moment (not) So my family wanted NOTHING to do with me, great! I borrowed another quarter and a cigarette and I called an ex-girlfriend who had also been in SCN but left. Well SHE understood my situation and came and picked me up. Man if it weren't for her I don't know what I would have done. She let me crash on her couch and gave me some clean clothes that some former boyfriend left behind. They were somewhat big because I had lost so much weight. Well it's been a few years now and I work in a restaurant as a short order cook - hey it's a job, I get paid, and can eat all I want for free. This guy who knew a guy got me a fake ID. I even changed my name for fear of "them" finding me. So here I am now. Before I wrote this I zipped through many of the threads. A lot of very interesting, educational, revealing as well as some hot topics, touchy topics and even some scary stuff. I don't want to write too much for now and I don't know what kind of reception I'm going to get here.