Totally get it Sonja, but no-one is or has been pointing the finger at you or your sibblings. They have pointed the finger at actions of your mother, but then ultimately they are pointing the finger at what the CofS "indoc" does to people, and what people can become under the 'hold' of the CofS. Any reference to you kids or any other SO/cadet org kids "not doing well", is usually and always almost made, to bring home the point how fu'ked it is and has been for them. If you read more on this board, you'll see how our hearts go out to you and all these kids. The reference is not made, in any way, to put them down. It's made, just to drive it home, that this scenario for any and all of our children, needs to change!