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Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by JustSheila, Mar 30, 2015.
What a lovely, thoughtful, honest and vulnerable statement. Thanks.
Reminds me in a way of Face's reaction. . .
Reminds me in a way of my own reaction...
I am back to posting junk as though "business as usual"--but saying nothing at all about my feelings about the documentary, yet.
As I mentioned to a cool friend of mine, I am somewhat still "inside" of that film.
I don't know what I think of it yet. And I don't know why I don't know.
I am, I guess, still floating atop some vibe that the documentary seems to hold things aloft with. I don't really know what it is. . .wait, i keep repeating that. lol
Haven't seen doco yet but just wanted to share my little realisation from today (regarding exes)
People leaving Scientology experience shame and the antidote to shame is being able to speak openly about your experience with a compassionate and non-judgmental audience.
While ESMB/WWP/OCMB/the Bunker have provided a place for exes to talk about their experiences in a reasonably safe environment, this probably has not been possible in the wider world to many.
This doco is a huge move in the direction of all exes being able to talk about their experiences without shame - to colleagues, new acquaintances etc. Maybe even potential employers when big gaps in work history are noticed (ok - that might be going too far!)
What a relief.
Of course all this is possible because of those individuals who have been opening up, bit by bit over the years.
If you read the tweets today it is clear that most people understand that Scientology did something bad to good people. There were still some of the usual 'never-happen-to-me' and 'just-like-all-religions' but they were in the minority.
The tweetiverse is telling exes - you have nothing to be ashamed about.
Thank you for this. It really helps. I want to write more about shame and vulnerability. Not tonight, my brain is in over-load.
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”
I've known this stuff for years, to have it condensed into a 2 hour no ads film for the general public was amazing. Especially for it to be shown to the American people, a country that sees the word church and treats the group with respect, respect that hasn't been earned. This was an Historic moment and I felt privileged to have been there watching it live on my little lap top in the little old UK.
The staff at OSA will be watching this film so they can 'handle' members. I do hope many of them 'cognite' and leave.
Goodbye church of scientology!
good watch this morning - but need another one....
The movie had quite a deep impact on me, too.
In the last few weeks, events in my own life have come to a sort of ending. I should be thrilled, happy, excited about starting a new life, but I haven't been feeling that way, even though I want to feel that way more than anything.
Twice in the last week or so I lost my temper with some people on ESMB. It was odd. Not that I'd lose my temper (I do that sometimes, oh well) but more the subject that made me lose it. Trying so hard to understand and relate to others that I went way beyond my personal convictions in doing so. Hmmm.
Was I depressed? Was I sick? Was something wrong with me? How many times have I asked myself these sorts of questions since leaving Scientology? How many times have I looked inside myself for an answer? Maybe, instead, the problem was that I ask myself these kinds of questions so frequently.
This past weekend I'd gone to Sydney's festival of colours. It was relaxing, fun, entertaining. There were yoga demonstrations, so I participated in one. It had a remarkable effect on me, because of one simple yoga thought, "I am not guilty."
Yeh. That one needed a few days to sink in.
It means I owe no apologies, that I don't have to spend my life making up for some imagined wrong. It means I am fine just the way I am, and if anyone doesn't like it, well, that's their choice and it doesn't mean it affects me unless that person is someone close to me. They can have their views and I can have mine. Even if it is someone close to me, if I've done my best and I'm still doing my best, then I am not guilty.
It's amazing sometimes the way some of our most noble actions can be twisted by others. Guilt is something imposed on us by those that blame. Those that blame the most, that gossip the most, criticize the most and do their best to control us aren't the ones who worry about whether their own actions are good or not. Miserable and empty, some can't even conceive of the idea that anyone would just spend years sacrificing their time and efforts to benefit another person, family member or group. So they accuse. Accuse the good-hearted person of having bad intentions; they take good deeds and find a way to make them appear bad. They ostracize, criticize, alienate. They form cliques just to let others know they aren't welcome, they treat others as inferior only in order to feel superior. They are jealous of those who can give from the heart and criticise them, always, for not giving enough to everybody all the time. It's something they can't do, but we're nominated to be their hearts and do all their good acts for them while being bashed for it.
They use our hearts to control us with guilt for all the things we couldn't do, didn't do perfectly. It is never enough. So we worry about what's wrong with us, always thinking we're inferior.
Watching Going Clear really brought that concept home:
I am not guilty.
Thank you, Alex Gibney, for showing this to the world.
Now I can have some self confidence again.
Beautiful eyes and smile
Just saw it. Best thing - Spanky Taylor injected a glimpse of what drew people to it; also she seems such a nice woman to be utterly crushed by the robotic ass*oles like that guy in the disconnection video that surfaced today.
Biggest surprise - they left out Hubbard's complete College and HS records fakery and his claiming to be a nuclear physicist, etc.
I just wish that HBO would release the 4 hour docudrama on Hubbard. There must be a real market for it now this has whet the world's appetite.
I just stood up. It gives me the giggles how high the guest numbers are. Normally, always, to any given time of day, the relation between members and guests was 1:10, not diverting from that for more than 20%. And look at that:
During the documentary it went up also. I copied it several times. But what I did for the last 20 hours, was sleeping and having some very strange dreams.
I would so, so, so like to see the ESMB "guest" numbers of short before the documentary until now as a graph. That's such a delicious fuckyouOSA. Sure these numbers are saved?
The development of Google search terms would also be interesting and sure I'll look into these over the next days.
There's that site that people used to compare the popularity of tonyortega.org and Scientology sites, I tried it once but apparently ESMB (still? ) is below a threshhold (of the global ranking) so that details don't get saved. (Or something. I'll look into it again.)
According to Google Trends....Yesterday, Scientology was the 6th most searched word....and "going clear" related....?
Wrestle Mania...was #1.
I thought the part about hubbard's phony Navel Career was interesting some new info and the Sara Northrup story about Ron kidnapping his own child and telling Sara he killed her. How chillingly Occult that was.
One creepy thing Im glad the left out was His self singing "Thank you for listening" on the Road to freedom album. Sheesh I'll bet the newbies have never heard that creepy ass Power of Source (POS) album either.
Links are up on Solarmovie. Typically, I never openly try and provide people with links to copyrighted material, but in this case I think the producers and even HBO want as many people to see this as possible.
It's always wise to have adblock on along with your antivirus if you click on one of the links at this site.
What an incredibly simple, yet profound statement you have made!
Disagreement stimulates thought, sharpens critical thinking and you had all better agree with me!
By the way, my name is Len Zinberg, and, to paraphrase Tom Cruise, "I consider it a privilege to call myself an Ex-Scientologist"
And I love you guys, except for Lone Star, of course.
Hi again, Len. Congrats on becoming non-anonymous here.
We knew most of it.
The rest of the world is just learning.
You should have been at Tony Ortega's viewing party.
I owe you a drink.
Hey thanks Sheila.
I just figured, if not now, when?
The part of Going Clear that took my breath away was Sara Northrup's diary.
some Hubbard apologists think Hubbard went nuts in the 60's, but the guy was a total nutcase way, way earlier. His cruelty is just staggering.
And of course, every time I remeber how I worshipped him...well, let's just say my ass is bruised from some well placed, self-inflicted kicks!
It doesn't get remarked upon enough, the great service that Emma has provided us...
a forum to discuss and debate, to view and hopefully de-construct the whole bloody Scientology experience.
It is such a great public service she's performed.
I'm glad you came forward, Len. I know you wanted to do it.
Sara is fascinating. I'd love to know everything in that diary.
Lots of different parts of the movie got to me, but I have to watch it again because there was a lot of start-stop action in the streaming and I missed some bits. I'd have to watch it again anyway, though. It's one of those movies that I think any of us would get even more from it the second time through. There were a lot of nuances.
Yeh, Emma went through a lot to keep his Board up and going. For years. The hugs, the smiles, the tears, the dedication. She was mum to thousands. That's huge. And she still is - but now she has a life, so some of us try to greet the Newbs and keep things going as best we can. Many of us have become good friends through this Board, too.
Was Tony Ortega's party open to everyone, or just those who worked on the movie and a few more well-known exes? How many people were there? We haven't heard much about it, with all the talk about the movie itself. I'd love to see some pics.
I wan't privy to the planning, but it was a great gathering! There was at least one picture posted in the comments section of the live blogging.post at his website. It was the 2nd time I'd seen the film, and the impact was not lessened in the slightest. I found myself holding my breath at parts, and realized that it is a very lean documentary, and one which very clearly delineates fact from opinion, which I loved about it. And the thoughtfuL quality of the film; Gibney just took his time developing the themes and building on them, and it was just so rich in facts and details, and look at me, rambling at 4:45 in the morning. Sheila, I wish you had been there. In a way, though, you were.