Yesterday I watched Leah Remini Scientology and the Aftermath: Thetans in Young Bodies. A lot happened while I was watching it. Doors opened in my head. Tears rolled. I hurled a few (soft) objects across the room. I sat in numbness. I juggled with the horror. I felt raw anger. Then all I felt was fearless and fierce. And calm. A deadly calm. The high-level hypocrisy and constant contradictions that spew from Hubbard’s rantings, attack something so sacred & vital to building a healthy world. He attacks a core attachment that is primal in humans. The attachment between mother and child. Anyone that does that is without any discussion needed, a monster. I hold very strong views about anyone that messes with the sacred bonds between mother and child. I hold even stronger views about anyone that would hurt a child. While I was watching the show I remembered something I witnessed at the AOSH ANZO (Sydney). I was fairly new to scientology when this happened. Maybe been in a year or less. There was great excitement as one of the crew had just arrived back from a two-plus-year training cycle over in America. This woman had left a baby in Australia when she’d gone to the U.S. to do her training. That baby was now about three-years-old. I realised at the time that the baby would not know who her mother was. The sea org mother was being given a “few days off” to get reacquainted with her child. Even though I was up to my eyeballs in all things “save the world scientology style” I remember my heart flickering wildly in sorrow for the small child. A child needs their mother. A small child really needs their mother. I am sorry I didn’t say anything that day. I was so under the influence of cult-think. All I can say is the woman I have become would fucking rant and rave and roar if I witnessed anything like that now. That doesn’t change what happened to those dear sweet children. It doesn’t ease the pain or suffering of those that were abused, without the healthy safety and security ALL children deserve. Sometimes I deserve to cry about all I was part of. Sometimes I need to say sorry. I am sorry. So very sorry.