My girlfriend left me for scientology

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by Onkel, Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. The_Fixer

    The_Fixer Class Clown

    Well Trouble, I have never really heard it used the way you first described. As I said before, it was used a bit in our Org in NZ as the worthy oriental gentleman. But I think it was mainly used as a term to look down upon outsiders and to make the culties feel superior. So in that way it was really used as a racial/discriminatory slur.
  2. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    No need to be - Scientologists who bring people in get 10% of whatever the new person buys. If they drop for $5000 some auditing, the Scientologist who brought them in gets $500. It's a commission plain and simple. It is based on the idea that word of mouth is the best feeder line for new people into the organization. And that cash is a great motivator to get people to bring their friends and acquaintances in.

    Just like insurance salesmen, multi-level marketers, or many others, such as car sales men - they get a commission.

    In Scientology these salesmen are named "Field Staff Members" or FSM for short.

    The FSM will get a commission for each new service he gets the person to do. So his job & motivation is to keep the person continuing to buy services. Some of the better FSMs in Scientology's hay days could make $100k a year or more. These days, with the lousy PR Scientology enjoys, finding people who are interested in Scientology and haven't heard of its awful behavior are few and far between. When someone like your x shows interest - the FSM salivates.

    The easiest person for an FSM to motivate is to get existing Scientologists to buy more stuff - in the insurance industry it is called "churning". It's where the insurance salesman tries to get you to dump your current policy, and to buy a new policy (for which he gets a commission for each new policy bought)

    I will bet you dimes to doughnuts she has a FSM who is prodding her onward and would like nothing better if you were to fall off a cliff. Hummm. Speaking of's a recent picture of her FSM :


    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017
  3. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    Wog - worldly oriented gentleman is how I heard it defined. Mimsey
  4. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    Yes, the expression (wog) was definitely used in that way (as a superiority thing) but ... not every outsider was oriental (or a gentleman ... or worthy/worldy/western) so it still doesn't make any sense to me and I don't think it ever will, whereas "without goals" did make sense at the time, sort of.


    I'm going to forget about it now ... I've totally stopped caring.

  5. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Silver Meritorious Patron

    lesbians are less gay than guys
    Mims. Man gay sex is prohibited as "abomination" in Leviticus but not woman gay sex. The next injunction prohibits man/beast sex and the one thereafter forbids woman/beast sex.

    They're women. They get lonely. God understands.
  6. Onkel

    Onkel Patron

    So automatically when a scientologist gets friends and family in, they become fsm and get money every time they buy a new service?
  7. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Mostly, yes, as long as the FSM is active in keeping his friends and family in.

    There is a degree of competition among FSMs, and FSMs can steal selectees. Your FSM is whoever you say your FSM is. Besides bringing you into Scientology, your FSM is the person you go to when you have problems or issues inside Scientology. As somebody who has been in longer than you, he is more likely to know the people, procedures, and policy, and can give you advice on how to handle difficulties in getting service, or in dealing with the "ethics officer". If your original FSM doesn't do this job, then you may be approached by someone else to take over this job, and become your new FSM.

    There's two main kinds of FSMs: the casual Scientologist who brings his friends and family in, and the "professional" FSM, who is more like a registrar (sales person) and works on lots of people in order to make a living as an FSM.
  8. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    So, to illustrate your situation - a Scientologist recently had emailed me a question, and also asked about my status with the church. I wrote up a brief statement of how I came to be declared, pointing out some of the Churches lies, books I'd read, etc in 4 fat paragraphs about how I came to be declared, and how reading books, going on the internet lead me to leave Scientology behind. I tried to keep it as natter free as possible. The person sent a nice ack email including this line:

    "I had asked about the situation with the church just in case things had changed or straightened out. I did not know what it was and had heard it was something to the effect of a family situation. I get it. I hope it all rights itself in the future."

    My efforts were for naught. Not that I expected much, and most likely the person skimmed what I wrote anyway. That, in a nut shell is the situation. Your well meaning thoughts and warnings may have no traction whatsoever.

    In retrospect, I likely should have simply said: I was declared and have no desire to rejoin the group. But, whatever. I gave it a shot.

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  9. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    Typically, the new Scientologist finds out rather quickly about the "benifits" of being an FSM, and takes a free mini course which gives him /her drills on how to overcome objections, how to find the thing(s) the person is having problems with in their life, and how to show them Scientology can handle them, ( it's called "finding their ruin") how to fill out selection slips, the rules an FSM is to abide by. They get listed as an FSM and there is a person posted in the org who helps them, keeps them motivated, makes sure they get their commissions etc.

    So, no, the person doesn't automatically become one - he/she has to take steps to become one. It is all based on the idea that word of mouth is the best sales approach.

    Handing out tickets on the street corner to passers by are the least productive. Bulk mailings to people with similar interests fares somewhat better. There is a portion of the population who, upon reading negative press about Scientology, want to investigate it, feeling it must be good if it is being attacked. But one on one communication works the best.

    Once they get them in the door they start methodically placing the person's foot in the bear trap and push the release allowing the jaws to snap shut. The person never sees his life's blood oozing from the teath of the bear trap. The reason this works - amazingly so, is because the staff and FSMs believe in Hubbard and Scientology technology. And thus we have this axiom:

    Lies told by a person who is unaware he /she is lying are the most effective.

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  10. Onkel

    Onkel Patron

    Honestly I don't have any idea what I am doing. Right now I guess I'm just educating my self. I think it's scarry to think I'm being "watched". And it's scarry they might somehow use things I have written to push her into disconnecting with me. And I feel so bad because this could get her into trouble. On the other hand if they start telling her that I'm a bad person I hope that would get her thinking..But it's probably naive of me. In reality they are probably making sure she keeps repeating how great things are, and making a point at how my influence was bad for her. Now she is free to focus fully on scientology - and the results are outstanding!

    The whole thing has left me so hurt. I'm not in contact with her at all. I don't recognize her at the moment and her decisions make no sense to me. So talking to her is like letting her step all over my heart in stilettos. It's too much.
    I hope she will be pissed, though. Soon! I think you are probably right. You have to find out for yourself.
  11. Onkel

    Onkel Patron

    Plus - you want to believe. I wanted to believe in wasn't as bad as I thought. Turns out it's worse than I had imagined!
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  12. Onkel

    Onkel Patron

    She has been doing it for more than 15 years. Now she is just really hooked.. But months of doing nothing but sessions would probably have that effect on anybody.

    It's so scarry, the picture you are painting.. I feel like a damned idiot. Didn't realize I was supposed to think like a secret agent.
  13. guRl

    guRl Patron with Honors

    I think that's what's really tragic about this whole thing. From the research I did over the years, I came to see that while Scientologists witness a great many distressful things during their time in, it takes really bad punches to be served to them, themselves, in order for many of them to get up leave. As long as nothing really painful happens to you, just to the people around you, it's like you don't have reason enough to investigate further and eventually leave, and with the threat of disconnection and losing one's eternity, you have all the reasons to stay. It's horrible. And with all my research, it took me YEARS to realize that yes, these guys really and truly believe in what they do. Just imagine how hard to was for me to really get that!..

    Anyway, girl, I'm so with you on this. I absolutely hate the fact that there's so little we can freely say to those people we love and used to know, that it's better and less painful for us to not say anything at all. Ugh.
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2017
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  14. The_Fixer

    The_Fixer Class Clown

    15 years is a long time. I thought she had just joined up. Puts a different angle on it, as she is not getting out anytime soon and not listening to anything negative. The cognitive dissonance would be well ingrained now.

    No one is really supposed to experience this sort of crap. Scientology is a very ruthless and paranoid organisation as most cults are. It is designed to trap people and get everything out of them and if they end up as a withered bankrupt person without even their soul, it doesn't matter. The cult always comes first and Scientology is one of the more nasty ones. Its founder was a ruthless, paranoid psycho who found it distasteful to be truthful, so it stands to reason the cult he founded would be any different.

    The cult has always strived to protect itself and continue to expand. Hence the creation of their secret police, the OSA. They have no morals or limits as to what they will do to ensure the cult comes out on top. A bit like what the KGB did for Russia (note the clever avoidance of Godwin's Law there? ;) ). They will never admit it, but Scientology is slowly imploding and diminishing, especially with the more recent avalanche (!) of defecting celebrities.

    Don't feel stupid. At least you stayed out of it unlike many of us, so you were smarter in the right ways. It is designed to be insidious and deceptive, so for the more open people it has a way of getting under your skin without you even realising it.
  15. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    Don't freak out. They have a spectrum of people they watch - the top 3 being Tony Ortega, Mike Rinder and Leah Remini - after that are the blogers like Chris Sheldon, and the authors of books critical of Scientology, then lawyers who have sued Scientology, people who have or could be guests on Leah's tv series, members of the media, etc. These people they will fair game or make hate sites about them.

    Next are ex- sea org staff who know sensitive data. Then come the people they have declared, and further down are posters like me and HH and all the other regulars etc. on ESMB. You are even further down the food chain since you aren't a scientologist - but are connected to one.

    Their interest in you is pretty much this - they will hire a hacker to try to find out who you are and make a file of your posts and what ever else they can find, such as your contact info, physical address etc.

    More than likely they already have that info, since she no doubt talked about your situation with her MAA at the org she frequents. The MAA would ask her for the info and expect her to divulge it. It would be in a file they keep on you.

    More importantly they will link your file to your exes. Lets say she joins the sea org, and then blows - the link in her file that has your data will become an asset because she may go to your house, where they could track her down ( per the blow drill) and try to convince her to come back.

    But for now, they will just sit on the data, much like the stored video recordings a bank keeps of those who enters their premises, to be used to ID a crook in a robbery. Nothing may ever come of it. But they keep the data nonetheless.

    Last edited: Dec 10, 2017
  16. Terril park

    Terril park Sponsor

    There is one avenue I don't think you've tried. Tell her she can do Scn outside the church in whats called the Freezone or independent field. They don't do disconnection as a rule. I've got people out of COS by letting them know can do all services outside of CO$.

    I've been a scientologist for 50 or so years, half of it in
    the FZ. I think almost all criticism is valuable.

    Other than that I think and have found that
    Scn auditing can be very beneficial and worthwhile even
    if it not always is.

    This is not suprising really in that most auditors
    do not have extensive training. Its sort of miraculous
    some get the results they do with minimal training.

    I also think everyone is free to follow whatever path
    they wish.

    That believe it or not is a scientological view.

    The organisation is toxic and is best ignored, or protested
    as I have done for 8 years.
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  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor


    "Everyone is free to follow whatever path they wish".

    That is absolutely NOT a Scientological view. Never was. Never will be. Ridiculous.

    Anyone who has been in and around Scientology soon learns that (aside from the cult's guru) nobody is free to follow whatever path they wish.

    The Indies will disagree, but then consider that Indies LEFT Scientology and simply don't believe in ADMIN TECH nor ETHICS TECH. Hubbard emphatically stated that the tech will not work unless you use all the ethics tech and get ethics "in". Thus, we have the absurd situation of a person disavowing most of Scientology tech, yet still calling themselves a Scientologist.

    Kind of like a Christian who believes in the Bible, just not the parts about God or Jesus.

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  18. Onkel

    Onkel Patron

    I get that scientologists feel like they have been helped in some way and to a certain point. I think mainly it's because it's good to talk about things. And maybe the whole thing with the e meter will get people to tell it all - sometimes people are not honest when they for instances go see another kind of therapist. And the more you talk about traumatizing events the less they tend to build up inside. When you say things out loud you gain perspective - and that would happen anywhere if you are open and truthful. In my opinion. But scientology will take all credit, and make you give all credit to them.
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  19. Onkel

    Onkel Patron

    Thanks - that's good to know. She is in no way a prominent person. But she is close to some who are.
  20. Terril park

    Terril park Sponsor

    Following the path they wish is most definitely aligns
    with scientology doctrine. Not that the CO$ actually does so
    and violations of this are too numerous to detail here.

    "Grant beingness: the ability to assume or grant beingness
    is probably the highest of human virtues."FOT

    You I believe put forth Hubbard's law of commotion whereby
    everything he says he also contradicts elsewhere.
    Thus it is quite sensible to choose which statement you with to

    Thus one may well put aside Hubbards statements in admin and ethics. Unless you enjoy being a robot. Gave that up a
    long time ago.

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