My Ups and Downs

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by FoTi, Oct 31, 2008.

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  1. thetanic

    thetanic Gold Meritorious Patron

    I'm just now reading your story....

    Many of us have done this, and the secret is to not flow energy at the whole person, but just to flow it to whatever's sticking in their space. Smaller target, less energy used.

    Also, once the change has happened, pull the energy back! They don't need it any more, and you don't need to have your energy stuck in their space.
  2. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron


    Wow, FoTi - Holy Crapola - This is WHY.

    This morning when I first read the part of your story quoted above (by thetanic), I was reminded of something that happened to me and a friend, approx 30 yrs ago. I'd completely forgotten about it until I read that. This friend was the one who first talked me into going down to the scn place - around that same time, approx 30 yrs ago. I really cannot recall if this happened before or after our brush with scn (as neither of us got in - me anyway, and to the best of my knowledge, neither did she). I suspect this happened after our little stint with scn - due to the nature of it.

    We were in a nightclub, listening to a band, watching the dancers, dancing if we got asked, drinking a little, as neither of us were big drinkers. My friend brought to my attention a guy at the bar who was staring and staring at us - her actually (lol). She was quite beautiful in a model/starlet kind of way, thin and tall, gorgeous - you know. Me, I am just pretty, and in no way model material, as I am, ahem, too well built . . .

    Anyway, this guy - and a buddy - were staring at us (her). It was kind of creepy. Eventually the one guy comes over and asks my friend to dance. She politely turned him down. Neither of us, after that, danced with anyone, as we did not want to insult him with the rejection. We were done dancing for the night. OR so she told him, and so we really were - he was that creepy. We did not want to 'upset' him or piss him off.

    Well, that did no good, as after that he just GLARED at us from the bar. Then he began pitching ice from his drink at us.

    My friend says to me, Lets do an imaginary mirror - postulate this mirror up in front of us, between him and us, with the mirror reflecting his own hostility back at him.

    Sounded like a good idea to me.

    NOT. It worked REALLY well, and that guy went ballistic, interpretting the hostility being reflected back at him as coming from us. He scared the shit out of us, and we said good bye to our friends in the band and headed for our car. He followed us out and got physical with us in the parking lot. :omg:

    Some guys - perhaps bouncers (sent by our friends in the band ?) - came to our rescue - and we got the hell out of there.

    We NEVER did that again. I am surprised that I forgot about it, as at the time, I thought I never would. Hey - 30 years - lots of life goes down, and old things get buried, until recalled up . . .


    You've been through Hell, FoTi. I am so glad you got the hell out of there. :clap:

    Thanks for sharing your story FoTi. I'd not read it before, so I am glad it came back up today.
  3. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    An imaginary mirror. Hmm..... I like that idea. I'll have to remember that. :) I might try it sometime. I'll make sure that there is someone around to rescue me if the person tries to attack me. :lol:

    I'm glad you like reading my story.
  4. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    How can I flow it to whatever's sticking in their space if I don't know what is sticking in their space?
  5. thetanic

    thetanic Gold Meritorious Patron

    Well, that takes practice! :)
  6. thetanic

    thetanic Gold Meritorious Patron

    In pagan circles, it's called a Mirror Spell and they not only work well, they're pretty easy to do.

    The way to make it more karmically neutral is to only reflect the energy specifically aimed at you back. It tends to escalate things less.

    And yes, the first time I tried it, the person who was the source of the hostility started literally foaming at the mouth, which is when I refined it to be more genteel.
  7. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Good Idea

    Good idea - but I think the only thing we might have been reflecting back, that was ours/from us, was perhaps fear/trepidation. I think the guy was a sociopath, drunk - and on the prowl. He wanted to hurt some woman, and he picked my friend. He was probably attracted to the fear and trepidation, like a snake to the mouse . . . Only sometimes that mouse turns out to be Mighty Mouse, heh heh. Or has a Mighty Mouse friend at her back.

    Ya know, come to think of it, my friend was into witch magic . . . Maybe that is where she got the idea - - ???
  8. afaceinthecrowd

    afaceinthecrowd Gold Meritorious Patron

    FoTi. Thank you for your story. I know it took a lot to write this. You have written well, written “real” and written with your heart.

    Your story stirred so much in me. I was, at one time or another, all the places you were, during some of the time you were—up until 20 years ago or so—with the exception of the Crusade and El Ron’s death event show.

    Your story is truly a Saga and within it captures many of the elements that led me to walk away, such as:

    1. I came to the point where I knew that El Ron was not the “magnanimous OT of the Universe” that Hisself sold and so many of us bought.

    2. That the FSO, as the rule and not the exception, misrepresented Tech Estimates to get folks there and then wring them dry.

    3. That as long as you got bucks and fork it over you were treated differently than other folks.

    4. That fantastic amounts of money was siphoned off to SO Reserves and LRH Accounts and that staff were ill paid, ill treated, ill trained and most ill suited for the posts they were doing.

    5. That staff lived in fear of Senior Management and the “System”.

    6. That folks were going loony on the OT Sections and Bat Shit crazy on the L’s and NOT’s.

    7. That misrepresentation and outright clever lying without conscience was considered an “OT” ability of a “Big Being”.

    8. That the SO and Scn had in it some of the finest and best folks I had ever met and some of the most heartless, cruel and evil bastards I had ever met.

    9. That the “System” favored the heartless, cruel and evil bastards.

    10. That I was not able to change the System and that the System was incapable of change and was only going to get worse.

    I didn’t “join up” to suck up to and be a slave to the rich and powerful; I was there to work with and help folks like you. Your Saga has been gut wrenching for me to read. I know for a fact that El Ron knew that folks were getting F’d up and F’d over…Hisself just didn’t care. What El Ron cared about was the control of the thoughts of others, adulation and devotion from others, a steady flow of large amounts of money from others to Hisself and not getting found out.

    My best wishes to you always in all ways. You’re one of the good guys.

    Last edited: Sep 22, 2010
  9. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

  10. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    That was an amzing post Face. I agree with every word. :yes:

    And guess what FoTi? I'm working on getting that cat thumping her tail to music video. Thanks for telling your story. Especially thanks for coming back and finishing it. I know it took strength to tell. I've worn myself out telling bits of mine. But you pushed through.:thumbsup:

    Great Story. Now let's get on with Life Outside the Cult!!!!!!:happydance:

    Good twin
  11. Ogsonofgroo

    Ogsonofgroo Crusader

    This is a profound point, and something that has bothered me about the system Hubbard set up to start with.
    The idea that there are 'other' truths, or 'acceptable' lies, is sort of foreign to me.
    The old saws~ "They can't handle the truth" "Its too much for them to understand, they are not worthy..."
    To lie without conscience, with impunity, without moral delema, for what-ever greater cause~ Is just lying. Whether it is to yourself, for someone else, or for a 'cause'.
    If you are trying to protect a person from pains, then maybe you would not tell the whole story, with a child you may make up a white lie, but, when you are dealing in the real world, lies and deciet are just what they are: Sleight of hand diversions keeping others from seeing the true natures of a situation/action.
    I have no idea where I was headed with this, sorry, IRL diversions have broken my train of thought, I hope some of it made sense, if not, well cocks and chickens and such...

    Last edited: Sep 22, 2010
  12. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Brilliant post Ogs! :yes:
  13. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    For sure. I'm tryin'. It really helped to finish it off. I might add a little bit here and there, but for the most part it's done. Feels better and it did take a lot of attention off the area. Freed me up some.

    And I'll be watching for the cat.
  14. afaceinthecrowd

    afaceinthecrowd Gold Meritorious Patron


    One of the most insidious things El Ron did was to use the fear of ones “eternity” to enforce the edict against “Wog” Law and Judicial Systems.

    El Ron did this to protect Hisself and the cash flow cow and the effect on the faithful was oppressive and debilitating. The net result was that Predators within the Membership and Organizations were given Carte Blanche to feed on honest, sincere and decent folks.

    Numerous cheats and liars were protected, supported or even rewarded while numerous trusting and giving folks were stifled, stymied or slapped down without any way or hope of recourse.

    That happened to FoTi and so, so many others...I guess damn near all of us to one degree or just boils my blood.

    Last edited: Sep 23, 2010
  15. Ogsonofgroo

    Ogsonofgroo Crusader

    Thanks for the props Face and Twin :)blush:), yeh, it pisses me off too.
    One of the nicest, gentlest, people I've ever met was a long-time OG (late 60's- early 90's) who took a long time to see through the crap, and is still bothered by the lies he bought; his stories about being coerced into propagating lies are mind-numbing. So many with good intent, so manipulated, indeed a maddening thing :grouch:

    My sincere apologies to FoTi for the derail thingy :rose: & :cake:
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2010
  16. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Crusader

    That was control par excellence
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2010
  17. lkwdblds

    lkwdblds Crusader

    I never knew about this thread until now!

    Hi FoTi - I just found out about this thread from Carmelo's post on you know where. I read the first two installments and they are very good. BTW when you interst is stirred up, I believe you say that your interest has been "piqued" not "peaked".

    Getting back to your story, I can not believe that CC was that bad. Up through late 1973 when I left staff there, they were very good on delivery and service. It seems that when they moved to the Manor Hotel, things changed. I'll read a few more chapters tomorrow. It is reall avery good story.
  18. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    I don't mind the derail.
  19. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    I just looked up piqued. It means to arouse anger or resentment. Where did you get your definition?

    Yeh, it was that bad. I'm sorry it was. If it had not been that way I probably would have been able to get my 100 hours of auditing and got myself trained up thru Class IV that I had paid for without having to sell my car and maybe I would have been able to finish college as well. That would have been much better. Maybe the disconnect with my parents would never have happened either. That would have also been much better. But who knows. :confused2:
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2010
  20. CarmeloOrchards

    CarmeloOrchards Crusader

    pique |pēk|
    a feeling of irritation or resentment resulting from a slight, esp. to one's pride : he left in a fit of pique.
    verb ( piques |pēks|, piqued |pēkt|, piquing |ˈpēki ng |)
    1 [ trans. ] stimulate (interest or curiosity) : you have piqued my curiosity about the man.
    2 ( be piqued) feel irritated or resentful : she was piqued by his curtness.
    3 ( pique oneself) archaic pride oneself.
    ORIGIN mid 16th cent.(denoting animosity between two or more people): from French piquer ‘prick, irritate.’

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