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Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by Wisened One, Feb 7, 2008.
Don't you dare...stop talking...it does us goot
Ok you can take five.:wink2:
Oh darling girl,
As I said on chat, I've been keeping up with your posts here, as you've written them, but I just didn't feel good about 'typing' anything in response, and still don't really - I would rather see you IRL, give ya a big hug and lots of love, and giggle with ya.
Thanks for sharing Michelle - you've had a wild ride, yet done so well (on many fronts). Good on you!
Love you Michelle!
Can't wait to see you again..........
I'm only half way done reading this thread.
About that part where you and BobTheSP are hiding in the house, staying away from the windows -- wasn't it ridiculous the amount of silly things we were intimidated into doing? I did similar things. But now we are facing the paper tiger, huh?
You are a brave girl with a good heart!
I CAN'T WAIT EITHER! I had sooooo much fun seeing you last time!
I still look at all the pics and smile!
Thanks for bumping, Mac...I guess.....
Yeah, Our jaws literally dropped to the floor before we did when we watched them walk to the back of the house and looked in the bedroom windows, like that! I mean, Geeeez!
To this day, I soooooo REGRET cutting the time short with the reunion with my kids, and driving allllll the way back down to Miami to route-stupid-off, like that! Arrggghh!
But...ah well....we live and learn, eh?
And....some other memories came back to me while routing off....hope ya'll don't mind me sharing 'em...
The moment we drove that rental car (it was a nice one, a dark green Impala, I think).
Dean parked it in the back of the Org, while he went inside to let Bob Blair and Kitty (the SO EO) know that we arrived, Sean Carroll came outside and walked up to my window. (He was the course Sup and a GREAT, GREAT GUY! Still in, afaik but off Staff now).
Anyways, he says: 'Hi. Nice car.'
I, as nervous as all-get out...and remember 'Leaving and Leaves' PL, don't know what to say to him, cuz..always the overanalyzer, I KNOW that he KNOWS that the car is not ours, cuz he asks...is it yours?
Well....I didn't know how to answer that...cuz if I said it was our, I'd by lying...and if I said it was rented, then THAT would be admitting to him that we were leaving Staff and there to route off (when you are not allowed to tell anyone on Staff that you are routing off or leaving, etc.).
So, I started stammering....No...it's not ours...Uh....we....borrowed it....from a friend (making mental friends with the rental agent so it wasn't a lie) (I wasn't laughing at the time tho!).
And Sean looks me in the eyes (good looking guy, too, btw! ) and calmly and softly says to me: 'Michelle, it's ok, nodding his head and smiling softly at me in tacit consent. 'It's ok'.
It took all I had not to break down in tears and wanna hug him at that moment, but I held my composure pretty good.
While we were were blown..Dean and I went to the Mall and bought some clothes and new shoes...(well, his mom did, really)...and I was wearing my new shoes and clothes. And later that day when inside the Org, Sean again noticed my shoes and complimented me on them. I was sooo grateful to his kindness to us during those days....cuz others
of course were anygry at us for blowing and literally shunned us at first. (Charlie Fox, sweet, sweet guy and HE was actually MARRIED to Cat Fox, our ED! )
But....that memory just came back to me with your post, Mac. Thanks!
Sorry, didn't mean to laugh at you. I was laughing WITH you. Seriously, though, I was very intimidated, too. And if they came to your house today looking for you, your response would be MUCH different, right?
Live & Learn.
Oh, no, no worries, Mac. I didn't think you were laughing AT me or anything of the kind!
And yeah, they should even TRY coming to our door, now!
Wisened One, I've got to say that you've got a knack for writing. I don't know if you had much practice doing it or classes or stuff, but you've definitely got a knack for communicating emotion without coming off as forced, which I take as a sign of a good writer. Reading your story, I felt like I was there. Strange, during the tougher parts my screen started going blurry. Got to check that out
I got a lot out of reading it, anyways, and thoroughly enjoyed the happy ending I think this is a good thread for people like me who want to know what being on staff was like.
Why thank you for your kind words, justaguy! And I'm glad it doesn't come across as too melodramatic or anything? I was just writing how it was for me, ya know?
Thank you for taking the time to read my LONG story! And yeah, my screen got blurry while writing some of those parts, too. Gotta get mine checked as well, huh?
I just hope it may help other lurkers, ESMB'ers to add my voice as to my experience with Co$ and just some of its effects on my life (both good and bad).
Was a nice inclusion there. It helped me see what mood you were in and how you were thinking. Stuff like that. (Also, I lol'd).
If your goal was to communicate how you felt at the time, you succeeded. So if you were a melodramatic person back then, there ain't much we can do about that now, eh?
Just posting another pic of our time on Staff. This was cutey Dean kiss running a bookbooth. Think this particular pic was taken for one of the many stupid CR's he was always turning in...
Heh. Doesn't it look like he needs a big silver wind-up key in his back?
And ya'll notice that this was the time when Kirsty had her face all over the Purif Promo? (that she didn't like nor give permission to, I've heard)
He is a cutey
Michelle, it was truly a hearth breaking story to read, but you are out to. We are together fighting this mess. Love you/Sally
Thanks so much for reading and for the encouraging words, Sally! It IS wonderful to be free of that life now!