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Ok, I'm telling more of my leave story.

Pixie

Crusader
Hey thanks! i will look for it. Everything will be alright on the rugery. Our thoughts will be with you. Post asap you can after that. We will be waiting hear from you.

:D

:bigcry: Thank you so very much for that incredible positivity, I appreciate it more than you know.. :kiss: I hope you're right about the surgery, I really do hope you're right.. thanks again. :yes:
 

Pixie

Crusader
Pixie,
We are thinking only good thoughts for you. Your healing is important to all of us.:yes:
I also feel transformed by "A New Earth". It is impossible to look at things the same way. I also lost interest in telling my story to a great degree. The way I see it now is not so much as "my story" but part of the story of what Scientology has actually accomplished as opposed to the PR version of Scientology that I took part in for so many years. So for that reason the stories are of value. They help focus on what happened instead of what we pretended we were doing. I know reading the stories of others helped me start to unravel when I first came here. It is part of the true picture of Scientology. Or perhaps it is the entire picture.:yes:


Thank you very much Good Twin, I appreciate that feedback for sure, and yes, that's an interesting perspective to have and you're right, it was indeed other's stories that helped me unravel too so yes, I guess as long as we don't get 'caught up' in the 'my' anymore. Yes, also it is indeed quite impossible to see things the same way after the book, it's really blown my mind totally and for me it's come at just the right time. Thanks again for your support.. :kiss:
 

nexus100

Gold Meritorious Patron
I've just got back from Ireland where I bought Tolle's new book 'A New Earth'. I'm nothing short of blown away by it and have found that I am no longer very interested in 'my story', my whole perspective has changed since reading this book.

I just feel that it's true that we are not really who we think we are and that hanging onto a 'story' - for me anyway - is not in fact doing me any good. Of course I still have a lot of anger and frustration at all the lies and the wasted years and here I am yet again with suspected cancer, but now I understand that until I let all this go, my health is going to continue to deteriorate as I am still holding onto all the emotional pain from my years in the cult.

This is just the way I feel today. Two days to my surgery and I'm shit scared of the outcome, however, I feel I must move on somehow and .. ... well I diverse but the book has changed my viewpoint on almost everything and I'd highly recommend it. :yes:

Just be sure the doctor is sober and you aren't.

Seriously, best of fortune with your health and all things.
 

diablo

Patron
You will be fine and posting back very soon. Your health is important. So after the surgery be naughty that is cute on hospitals. :)

See ya!
 

Pixie

Crusader
Just be sure the doctor is sober and you aren't.

Seriously, best of fortune with your health and all things.

Thank you very much for that Nexus100, I do appreciate your feedback.. 24 hours to go, it's hard not to be scared.. so I'll be on the forum most of today to keep in touch and visualize coming back stronger and better and hopefully more happy and witty! :p Thanks again.. :yes:
 

Pixie

Crusader
Sending you hugs and - remember to breathe, ok?
:bighug: :kiss: :rose:


Free To Shine, you always make me laugh!! Yes, I will remember to breath, I'll have no choice as I've been given a choice of the cigarettes or the medication, so.. that'll be no more ciggy's after over thirty years puff puff puffing away, so yes, I'll be breathing and huffing and puffing like there's no tomorrow!!

I did buy a dummy one when I was in Ireland, they're very popular over there now that the smoking ban is in and it's like watching a load of adults walking around with dummies in their mouths, funny but effective. So my intention is that while I'm 'under', I intend to somehow let go of a whole heap of shit and wake up completely enlightened :D

Thanks again for your hugs and kind thoughts.. :kiss: :hug:
 

Pixie

Crusader
You will be fine and posting back very soon. Your health is important. So after the surgery be naughty that is cute on hospitals. :)

See ya!

Hey thanks for that Diablo!! I welcome all the good wishes I can get right now, I appreciate that. As for being 'naughty that is cute on hospitals'... not sure I got that.. :eyeroll: however I have to say that I am both naughty AND cute anyway so.. :p ok well it does really help me that I have all these lovely wishes and I hope not to be away too long.. :kiss:
 

Wisened One

Crusader
:no: :omg: :no: :omg: Diablo: Thank you for reading my story...I hope you've read my more detailed version further in this thread, too? (If not, do so:)

But....WOWwwww, YOUR story and what YOU'VE endured.....:no: :no: :no:
My story is sooooooo kindergarten and NOTHING next to stories like yours diablo, and many others on here....and that you made a VIDEO will before reading OT III, LOL! GLAD you didn't die and the police had to find that video, huh?

Aren't we all so gullible to be soooo afraid of reading the OT crap, of OSA, of Ethics, etc..etc..?

I'm HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY I got OUT when I did (while my kids were little) and stayed in their lives, rather than tied myself to a damn phone calling bookbuyers, selling books, bodyrouting, etc!:yes: :happydance:

Every holiday that comes up, me and hubby always say to each other: 'I'm so happy we're doing this right now..(barbequing, laughing with friends in front of our firepit, seeing movies, making yummy dinners, etc,etc.). Because if we'd 've stayed on Staff, we'd be RIGHT NOW, doing call-in, Promo, bodyrouting, etc, etc,etc.....:no:

Thanks for sharing your story, PLEASE share more, it helps ALL of us, it really does! :yes: :hug:




Hi!
I just read your story and I can relate, I was FSC for about two years; made to Clear and worked on CMO, Finances, and other posts; I had the same curious about the upper levels due I needed to do them see? But when I read the OT III I was so afraid at the begining to drop the body and never being able to come back that I made a special video will (testament) just in case is true. Obviously is not lol :happydance: :melodramatic: But what an Idiot I was to believe the SCI FI things, honestly I must admit several audit were fantastic, still feeling good and shinny but the rest is pure crap, and I am not trying to say the Tech is not good, of course some of it is pure gold, but the political and organizational structure is so bad.
I remember the day I decided to leave I was confined to a cold office and kept by an insane kid, other members comming by and visiting me to say crap on my face, I remember a girl told me:
- I read all your pc folders and I can not understand you.
I answered to that: So you should die because are confidential and a pc should not read a Clear folder, anyway I said, you will start to see the things different from now on.
She was amazed and coulnt believe she didn't drop dead on the fact I was telling her she just read Pre-OT materials (secret and heavy stuff) but well what a way to find the scam. :)
I was for weeks dishwashing and cleaning bathrooms, floors, walls, repainting buildings and just kept waiting my Sec Check auditor (but where I am there is no chance to have a Clear Auditor) so I didnt get one, after a month making renovations and heavy MEST work, they decided to let me go. I selpt on the floor for almost a month, no food and not being able to make even a phone call to my family, it was just a fucking prision camp. Some times after two days and cero sleep nights working renovating and cleaning buildings, some ass just decided to use me to renovate some old Org and got me wake up at two am in the morning for remaking a Wall. I was no sleeping, not eating and not drinking water for almost two weeks, and this ass wanted me to go out in the night and make a Wall?
I had enough and punched him on the nose, he was so much bleading that I was happy. So l went straight to the Berthing door and got out.
I am fine now but I hope more people (good people) get out from that shit. I am now SP declared and honestly I couln't care less.
See ya!
:happydance:
 

AnonSunshine

Patron with Honors
Congratulations for exiting!

Wisened One,
Thank you for your post! I am sure, it will help others who are lurking.:yes:
The Cult does that with everybody!
They separated my spouse from me, and said bad things about me, although I have never betrayed my spouse.
Some spouses do believe, and end up staying. That's what they want - to break up families. They sure know the third party law, and use it a lot.
Oh boy, I am glad you are out!
:clap:
AnonSunshine
 

Wisened One

Crusader
Thanks for reading and commenting on my stories, AnonSunshine!

I do hope my stories (added to the many others here) help those lurkers, the many on-the-fencers to realize that the group they are a part of, has been and is a sham on many levels.....sad that it is, but that's the gist of it.....:no:
 

Lermanet_com

Gold Meritorious Patron
wow what a hell of a story.

You described looking up at the sky on your way to the taxi, and noting how beautiful the stars looked... I remember that too, the evening after I walked out of foloeus...in winter 1977/78
 

HappyGirl

Gold Meritorious Patron
Wisened One - Thank you for posting this. I had to laugh about making a will before reading the conf. data, and then saw a response to this thread that another guy also made a video will. But it's true! The courage it takes to do that, you feel like you are jumping off a tall building. You are sure you are going to DIE or worse!!! I really enjoyed reading your story, and I have enjoyed your humor in many of your postings. I am so glad to meet you.

Oh, and Linus and BoldGirl - it gets easier. Really, it does. Breathe deeply, catch every sunset you can, and just imagine the world exactly as you would like it to be, because guess what? It actually IS, right now, this very moment, exactly as you would like it to be, because it is that way in your heart.

Happy Girl
 

Wisened One

Crusader
Happy Girl and Arnie: Wow you guys...thank you so much for reading my stories!

And yes, lol, it DOES seem really funny now that I look back at it all, but come on! ALL of us were really brainwashed to unquestionably accept and believe that a bolt from Xenu was gonna appear out of nowhere and KILL US DEAD, :lol:

That night was very intense for us.

I need to add more to my stories...(show our journey from that point to where we are now).

Arnie: Yep, those stars were soooo bright that night. I literally felt the chains of Staff life slip away from us......enjoying it, yet dimmed by guilt, too....

Michelle
 

programmer_guy

True Ex-Scientologist
Wisened One said:
I need to add more to my stories...(show our journey from that point to where we are now).

Yes, please do. Escaping the cult is always an interesting story to read.

Regards
 

Wisened One

Crusader
PG, et al:

Just to let you all know...I am at this time, working on adding more to my stories. And it'll be long.

So keep checking back!

Thanks for still reading them!

Michelle
 

Rene Descartes

Gold Meritorious Patron
how every other Staff/Public that left and died, or got cancer, divorced, couldn't get any job,etc..

Huh?

You mean all these people on this board are either dead, have cancer, are divorced or jobless?

People in the church don't have a big R-factor on the world, eh?

Rd00
 

Wisened One

Crusader
LOL Rene, you got THAT right! But the way he had presented it to me that night...I kept thinking..'I'll take my chances, thank you very much' (I didn't dare SAY anything to him, he was on his tirade and was intent on pinning me like a bug to that chair and his black scn......:no: (wish there was a f u smiley)...
 
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Linus,

Look at the founder. He exaggerated, fantasized, and lied. He did not have the super powers claimed. His biography is very fake. He was just as frail as every other human. Don't believe his mumbo jumbo. Don't even bother reading the upper level stuff.

I don't like to see people still affected by his mental nonsense. The discussion of what works and what doesn't is a whole different subject.

But... BTs nonsense, OT III nonsense. The human imagination is powerful. People can be led to believe and agree to believe almost anything. Self talk is very powerful, make that self talk positive.

If you think that you might be a bad person, then just do good things everyday. It doesn't take a lot of money or time, and bang, zowie, you prove everyday that you are a good person.

Walk out of that briar patch. Just put one foot in front of the other. The thorns fade then disappear.

I Love You!http://www.forum.exscn.net/images/smilies/eusa_clap.gif
 

Wisened One

Crusader
It's true, Mary.

Want to share a side note to part of my previously-posted story:


One line entered my thoughts while I was being lectured at by Gary Bottorf during that last night of my routing out.



It washed over my tired soul like a cool wave over a hot stone:


'You have no power over me!'



And the last of the spiritual shackles slipped free.



Suddenly, I no longer feared him or what he was saying.



I pitied him.



I saw through everything he was saying, too. Every word, transparent as the wind.



And I smiled softly at this man, who couldn't make me stay.



He felt it, too.




I was free.



I was truly free.


:cloud9:


Michelle
 
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