Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Sep 13, 2016.

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  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Top 100 Stupid RACKETS EXPOSED in Scientology3

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    Cross-posted from another thread. Lest anyone forget how truly insane L. Ron Hubbard was. . .

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    Thanks for posting that reprint of the "RACKET EXPOSED" to remind one and all of the audacious and outrageous fanaticism that Hubbard once-upon-a-time didn't even try to hide or cloak.



    The sheer stupidity of publicly publishing the "RACKET EXPOSED"!

    One has to truly marvel at the ingenious way Hubbard unintentionally exposed his own fraud & fair game racket!

    One can only wonder what a Scientologist would say in order to justify all that. . .



    OT STAFF MEMBER
    Hey, there is so much terrorism in the world
    you need to pay for your OT levels immediately!
    Today! Before something horrific happens to
    you and your family and children!

    PRECLEAR
    You keep telling me those entheta things
    every day. It sounds like such a generality.
    What specifically are you talking about?

    OT STAFF MEMBER
    My God! The terrorists! ISIS! They are cutting
    the heads off everyone and taking over the planet!

    PRECLEAR
    But at all the VIP briefings where you regged me
    you said that Scientology is taking over the planet.

    OT STAFF MEMBER
    Whatever, don't blame me when your family is
    massacred by Jihadi religious fanatics!

    PRECLEAR
    Yeah, but you never really explain how Scientology
    is going to stop religious fanaticism.

    OT STAFF MEMBER
    By applying Ron's policies!

    PRECLEAR
    But, truthfully, aren't some of Ron's
    policies religiously fanatic too?

    OT STAFF MEMBER
    Are you insane?
    WTF are you even talking about?!

    PRECLEAR
    Well, what about that "RACKET EXPOSED"
    order where Ron declared a religious Fatwa against some
    Scientologists he didn't agree with--ordering them
    to be be stalked, terrorized and murdered?

    OT STAFF MEMBER
    Oh that! LOL. You know, researching the Wall of Fire
    for all mankind can cause some serious by-passed charge!
    Besides, he hadn't even discovered the Way To Happiness
    tech yet
    , so that totally explains why Ron might
    on rare occasion have had a slightly bad mood.

     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2017
  2. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    Re: Top 100 Stupid RACKETS EXPOSED in Scientology3

    Lest anyone forget how truly insane LRH was, and US as well, who followed him and bought into the insanity!

    During a time that I was an HGC auditor in New York, I audited a woman who told me she was related to one of the names in the infamous "Racket Exposed" fatwa that Hubbard had issued.
    The Guardians Office took an intense interest in her, via the case supervisor, Bruce Gaines and I was instructed to note ANY details relating to him on my worksheet.
    The GO was salivating in anticipation of locating him; Mike McGee, the A/G, was positively giddy with the prospect of meting out "justice" to him.
    Thanks for helping me remember that particularly nasty aberrated and occluded bit of my "track".

    Scientology, the game where almost everyone wins!




     
  3. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    "...and on the third day he rose from the dead..."

    But NOBODY asks the important question: "Did he see His shadow?":omg: :duck: :hysterical:

    Jack
     
  4. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Today, Ron Miscavige was on the Joe Rogan show.
    Recently Leah Remini went on his show and got 1.3 million views in short order.
    So the Cult was spooked.
    Retaliation fast.

    Cult of smear and vengeance on tax free dollars manning up their OSA INTERNET UNIT
    90,000 views in 4 hours ~ and counting.....
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2017
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .

    Cross-posted from another thread discussing "whole track recall", "exteriorization" and Ron Hubbard's countless other OT myth-ed withholds.

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    .

    Thanks for laying all that out so nicely.

    I have reached a similar conclusion, based on the wholetrack research of Church of Hoaxology Founder Don Hubbard (see avatar photo).

    Don states in COH scripture[SUP]1[/SUP]: "Scientology is like getting off the freeway to get some gas and finding yourself in a dark, gang-infested ghetto. You get terrorized, beaten senseless and robbed. For the rest of your life you wonder how incredibly stupid you must have been and blame yourself. Others compound the humiliation and shame by pointing and laughing at you for the tragic and psychologically scarring incident. Then one day (after years of being beaten up by others and yourself) you realize that it's actually incredibly simple--you just need to pay a little more attention to what neighborhood you wander into."



    .


    [SUP]1[/SUP] Quotation taken from Don's "Fundamentals of Ought"--a refutation of his twin brother's similarly titled book. The entire concept for Don's book came to him in a cosmic epiphany while unconscious during a visit to the dentist. In his journal, Don noted that the nitrous oxide ("laughing gas") caused him to lapse into a coma after uncontrollably line-charging at his twin brother Ron's sci-fi book 'Fundamentals of Thought'. Don, like Buddha 2600 years earlier, suddenly received enlightenment--realizing that all Ron's scientific OT discoveries (e.g. "...my exteriorization tech ought to work") didn't work. Don's book (like Ron's) also had an artist's portrait of himself on the cover, depicting his appearance after 3 years inside Ron's underground research facility, which later became known as a chain locker.


    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2017
  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

    ...

    Talking about "Wholetrack Recall", there is a fascinating chapter in Don Hubbard's bestselling autobiography that talks about the early days with his twin brother Ron.

    [The following excerpt is reprinted here under the Fair Use statutes:]


     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2017
  7. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

    That's one of the worst photo shoops I've seen which makes it even more hilarious.

    As for this quote...
    When I read the above selection it hit me like a ton of bricks. Hubbard was a money monger and was selling a false bill of goods (bads?) to make his fortune.

    Gee, if only I was this smart back in 1975 when I was sold the false promises of DMSMH.
     
  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

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    .




    LOL!

    I know, Don Hubbard's shooping skills are truly pathetic!

    I have repeatedly asked the ESMB moderators to delete all his lame attempts, but they said they were powerless--something about "religious protections under the constitution" or something.

    He has been pink-sheeted, crammed dozens of times and literally ordered to never attempt any more photoshopping--all to no avail.

    The Church of Hoaxology even issued a Non-Enturbulation order on the guy and threatened to expel him--but he just laughed and said: "Hey, my brother Ron tried that and even DID expel me and then tried to imprison me in a chain locker fitted with an eternal battery--so good luck with that!"

    Honestly, I don't know what else to do to stop him! At this point, I am seriously thinking of investing in some headcams and having the guy stalked/harassed until he comes to his senses and knocks it off.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2017
  9. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    :hysterical::roflmao::lol::giggle::thankyou:
     
  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

    .


    Yeah, it's kind of astonishing that so many went along for the ridiculous ride, isn't it? Hey, I bought my ticket! LOL

    Yet, here we are in 2017, DECADES after the exteriorization and OT powers hoax has been fully debunked and disgraced--yet Scientologists and "Indie Scientologists" are STILL talking about exteriorization as if it is a scientific fact.

    And, HolyHell, to this very day, there are folks on Scn websites, Indie Scn websites and even ESMB that are still posting about the wondrous miracle of Ron's exteriorization tech. As if the greatest miracle in human history somehow happened without the world ever noticing it. LOL

    It's one of the great and enduring mysteries of the universe. Not exteriorization. But, the supernatural abilities of Scientologists required to pass a clay "demo" about exteriorization when no Scientologist (including Hubbard and themselves) has ever once been able to "demo" it in real life.
     
  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Top 100 Stupid SURVEY Moments in Scientology

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    Cross-posted from another discussing Dr. Hubbard's "SURVEY" technology.

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    .

    :hysterical::hysterical:

    Hilarious because it is simultaneously so ridiculous and so true!

    Mandated by sacred scripture, Scientology spends (literally) hundreds of millions of dollars on promo. So many billions of pages of slick, luridly-colored brochures and graphics of rockets hurtling through intergalactic space have been printed and mailed out over the past 67 years, that it has caused a crisis--the "overpopulation" of landfills on Teegeack--necessitating the "transport" of unread/discarded cult promo to a remote planetary dumping ground by DC-8s!

    Earthmen have resoundingly responded to Hubbard's intentional and unintentional surveys over the past 7 decades and the answers are as follows:


    97.5% OF SURVEYED SCIENTOLOGISTS DID NOT ANSWER
    ANY SURVEY QUESTIONS BECAUSE THEY WERE ALREADY BLOWN.
    WHEN TRACKED DOWN THEY STATED THAT THEY
    BLEW BECAUSE HUBBARD'S CRUEL HOAX DEFRAUDED
    THEM & DID NOT DELIVER WHAT IT PROMISED.


    2.5% OF SCIENTOLOGISTS SAID THEY
    ARE EXTREMELY THRILLED WITH SCN & THEIR
    NEWFOUND ABILITIES OF EXTERIORIZATION,
    LEVITATION AND THE MIRACULOUS SUPERNATURAL
    POWER TO GET ANYTHING THEY WANT INSTANTLY
    BY MERELY POSTULATING IT. THEN THEY ASKED
    FOR A SIGNATURE ON THEIR LIABILITY FORMULA.


    97.5% OF RESPONDENTS STATED THAT
    THEY WOULD NEVER RETURN TO SCIENTOLOGY
    NOR WANT OTHERS TO HAVE SIMILAR
    [STRIKE]GAINS[/STRIKE]
    FINANCIAL LOSSES TO THEIR OWN.


    99% OF EX-SCIENTOLOGISTS RESPONDED THAT
    "WHAT IS NEEDED AND WANTED" IS FOR SCN
    TO STOP SENDING PROMO AND
    [STRIKE]DIAF[/STRIKE] DIAWOF[SUP]1[/SUP]






    [SUP]1[/SUP] DIAWOF: Die in a Wall of Fire
     
  12. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Wouldn't it be FOADIAWOF?
     
  13. Free Being Me

    Free Being Me Crusader

    Re: Top 100 Stupid SURVEY Moments in Scientology

    Free Being Me's Army Surplus Store just happens to have handy cult promo disposal systems in stock! Order while supplies last!

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2017
  14. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    Re: Top 100 Stupid SURVEY Moments in Scientology


    :thankyou::lol::hifive::giggle:


    I swear to Xenu - just before I blew the cult - a staff member handed me a "survey" and on the right hand side of the paper next to the survey questions - was wording "If answer is below 2.0 - discard.

    The survey was about the Idle mORGue.

    BAT SHIT CRAZY - Scientology is doing survey to "find out" what people think or feel about Scientology so they can "do something about it" - improve and make changes..

    and Scientology takes ALL negative reviews and comments and trash them so "no one in Scientology gets enturbulated and upset"....

    Caaaaarrrrrrrrraaazzzyyyyy

    Can you imagine if Apple did a survey and asked their employees to discard all answers that are not waxing reviews of Apple Products?

    And then write up those people and give them a Label - SAP - Suppressive Apple Person - a person who criticizes Apple Products - everything and anything Apple and the founder.

    A SAP Can be tricked, lied to and utterly destroyed. A Declared SAP will have heir "apple" product disengaged. They will never be allowed to buy Apple Products or use Apple products ever....Ruin then utterly

    Their only recourse is the Apple Rounting Form. They have to go through a security clearance program where they will get off their O/W on Apple products, company and founder.

    After that - an A to J program.

    Leave the crack open...even if it is just a tiny crack...

    SAP's don't like to lose their Apple's for eternity....
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2017
  15. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    Re: Top 100 Stupid SURVEY Moments in Scientology

    No need to sware..we believe you :biggrin:

    The cult doesn't want to know what degraded beings think..
    they adresse to able beings..to make them more able...
    :biggrin:
     
  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Re: Top 100 Stupid SURVEY Moments in Scientology

    .


    That is so very.....Crazy-Cult!

    I am really fascinated if that was one lone "loyal officer's" contribution--or if there is actually a Scn policy which mandates that low-toned answers should be ignored.

    It is so bizarre that it could actually be a real policy! LOL. Hey, even if there was a lunatic policy like that, I still find it hard to believe that they would disclose that "in writing" on the actual survey being handed to public!!! LOL

    I remember distinctly the Hubbard tech (originally from an audio lecture I believe) where he gave two hard and fast "stable datums" about theta and entheta.

    (The following is not verbatim, but close---hey it was 45 years ago that I heard that tape! LOL):

    1) "WHEN YOU CUT A THETA COM LINE YOU GET AN EXPLOSION"


    2) "THE HANDLING OF AN ENTHETA (COM LINE/PARTICLE)
    IS TO CUT THE COM LINE"


    Well, let's dive into it a little.......

    (#1 above): So, the most theta com line that exists in Scn would be Hubbard talking about theta things, like miraculous Godlike OT powers like "eternity" and "levitation" and "exteriorization", right? We can "cut" that "theta line" quite simply by joking about the fact that no OT ever did any of those things. So, that is supposed to produce an "explosion". But where is the explosion? The only explosion I ever observed was Hubbard (or his delegated goons) exploding with psychotic screaming when anyone would dare to "invalidate" or "suppress" Hubbard's sacred infallibility by simply NOT AGREEING with his delusional ideas. That was "entheta" and "suppressive" and intended to "sabotage" mankind, right? No wonder Ron was forced to explode by terrorizing and throwing 4 year olds into chain lockers.

    (#2 above): Anything that doesn't agree with Hubbard is "entheta". Ergo, anyone who disagrees with the cult's mendacious messianic Meitreya must be "cut" from the "com line". Ergo, disconnection. Sure, that makes sense (said no one, ever!).


    ETHICS OFFICER
    Okay, Ricky, I am ordering you to disconnect from
    that SP Fred Wilson immediately!

    RICKY
    But--that's my dad!

    ETHICS OFFICER
    So, you want me to declare you SP too?

    RICKY
    But I am only 5 years old.

    ETHICS OFFICER
    And now you are adding even more high crimes
    to your Declare order by suppressive reasonableness!

    RICKY
    But where will I live?

    ETHICS OFFICER
    Oh! Another crime! "Committing a Problem"
    to a senior Scientology terminal.

    RICKY
    Wuttttttttttt?

    ETHICS OFFICER
    Hey, look it up in your green volume #1 in the
    justice polices under crimes.

    RICKY
    Committing a problem? A crime? LOL.

    ETHICS OFFICER
    Another charge! Joking and degrading!
    Nice going, little buddy, you just lost your eternity.

    RICKY
    Wow, if that means I don't have to come in the org
    any more and talk to zombie freaks like you, that's fucking
    amazing! Can I get one of those Success Story forms?
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2017
  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .

    Freaky Footnote (to that last post).

    No.

    No, I was not joking.

    "Committing a Problem" is a cult "CRIME".

    Seriously. LOL

    Yes, Scientology IS that insane!

    Oh! You still doubt it? LOL

    For those hung-up in a lower conditions ("Doubt") here you go:




    STABLE DATUM: Never doubt Scientology's supernaturally unreasonable power to affront the sensibilities!
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2017
  18. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Looks like Ron violated everything in that list...hmmmmmm...I'm beginning to smell a rat...
     
  19. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    ..


    RE: That previous posted list of Scientology "CRIMES"

    I happened to notice that there is not even one (1) single Scientologist in the world who could not be indicted and found guilty of a "CRIME" every single day! In other words, EVERYONE is a criminal just awaiting detection and declare. Unless they can donate or cause to be donate vast sums of cash to Scientology's leader du jour.

    That's the game in Scientology. Trying to get through the maze to the cheese before being hunted down and devoured by cannibalistic gurus and the avaricious spiritual guides called registrars.

    All that aside, there is one (1) paradoxically perfect "CRIME" that would be a crime to not showcase. This one:

    CRIME #266:
    Failing to insist upon precise and exact application of the Data Series
    policy letters in investigaions and evaluations.

    Let's break it down by trying to answer this question:

    WHO IS FAILING TO INSIST ON
    USING THE "PRECISE" DATA SERIES?


    ANSWER: All Scientologists.

    EXPLANATION: If a "precise Data Series" existed and if that Data Series was being used and if it worked--then all Scientologists would figure out after 24 hours that there are no Clears and no OTs in the entire world. Then Scientology would cease to exist. That's why the leaders of Scientology violently opposing any use of ANY kind of data or data series--or anything which would utilize rationality and critical thinking skills to evaluate Scientology, its claims and its results.

    ADVANCED BRIEFING: Anyone who dares to actually evaluate Scientology "data" with logic/reason is promptly slammed with a Non-Entbulation Order. If they continue using "data" they are declared SP and attacked. The real "CRIME" in Scientology is knowing correct data and/or revealing it to others.

     
  20. Free Being Me

    Free Being Me Crusader

    $cientologists are the last to "know how to know" they are being hoaxed. In hindsight I dislike the "knowingness" and "certainty" thought-stopping cliche's Elcon sprinkled into his cult. I can say without a doubt I certainly didn't know squat while clapping at a maniac's picture. Cringe.
     
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