Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    That reminds me of that idiotic idiom!!!

    "You--the being"

    Hubbard used it ad nauseum in his marketing scams to sell messianic miracles & paranormal powers.

    Often "Dr" Hubbard doubled-down on that copywriting hook, saying things like:

    "This rundown is tailor-made to handle you the being.

    It has great significance to Scientologists--and especially PCs--to have "the being" handled. Let's eavesdrop, shall we, on Ideal Scientologist Billy Blowdown. . .

    DISCLAIMER: About once or twice a year, we let two Scientologists 'get in com' and then we just step band and we let 'em talk. No filters. No cut com. No 8C to get to the point. We just......(as I say)......let 'em talk, lol. So, it might go short and it might go long. Way long. Ya never know what'll happen when planet-clearers use their com cycle tech, on this planet! the following conversation is part of the full length video now being sold in church of hoaxology bookstores everywhere. order the full 7 hour unedited version today today for only $99.99! call now: 1-800-666-ITSA and order your copy of "WHEN SCIENTOLOGISTS GO WILD!"


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Hey, I just attested to OT VII!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Wow! That's so theta. I just
    attested go Grade I!


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    You good, but.....
    you really need to get on the level!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Yeah, I'd love to do that. I just don't have the
    money. It's another $450,000 from Grade I up to Solo Nots.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    I want to select you as your FSM to do your entire
    bridge up through OT VII!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    (apathetically)
    Um...okay.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Now I am going to help you apply Ron's tech to get
    the MEST money particles you need.


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    (soaring uptone!)
    OMG! Really! You can do that??!!


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Of course, LOL.
    It's rather simple, LOL.
    Obviously you're here at Flag because you
    are amongst the elite!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    The elite?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Yes, Ron says that! You are in the top
    one-percent of the top one-percent of the
    top two-and-a half-percenters. Or something like that.


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Wait, aren't the two-and-a-half-percenters the SPs?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    don't necessarily have total certainty
    on the percentages. Hey, I said I was OT VII, total cause over
    life, but I still may have some wholetrack charge on math or whatever.
    But we are handling you, so let's not Q&A. You just attested to
    Grade I, problems release right?


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Um, yes.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    And you just attested to the ability to spot the source
    of any problem and make it vanish---right?

    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Um, yes.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Well then, you can get the $450,000!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Whuttttttttttt?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Just use your new ability. Spot the
    source of your problem and make it vanish.

    SCIENTOLOGIST
    I did spot the source of my problem.
    I don't have enough money.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    I see. Well, that's no problem either!
    We'll just use the LRH remedy for that!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    OMG, really? Ron discovered the remedy
    for not having a half-million dollars?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    LOL. Hey, it's Ron we are talkin' about! LOL
    So, the next step is this command. "So, how
    COULD you get $450,000?"


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    That's it?!


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    LOL, simple right? LOL


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    I tried that already. I have no
    idea how to get $450,000.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Oh, I see. . .
    Well, that's not a problem either
    We'll just apply Ron's tech. So, I'll
    give you this r-factor: You nee
    to make it go right!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    And?????????????


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Yeah, just do that, then your money problems
    are gone! Just make it go right!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    I tried that already, it didn't work.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Um, okay. I see your ruin is still not handled. Ron says
    that until you get on your OT levels you are still a kind
    of degraded being. Too bad you can't get on OT VII, because
    that level handles you the being! Then you wouldn't have
    any problem paying for OT VII!


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    I don't know about that. I also did L-10 and Ron said it is
    a series of tailor made actions that really handle you the being.
    But it didn't really handle me the being. I borrowed $100,000
    for that and now I'm kinda broke and kinda screwed.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    That's totally not true. If you did L-10, it handled you the being!
    If you are broke that is not you the being. That is you the money.


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Don't take this wrong, but WTF are you the being talking about?!


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    I'm talking about you the being.


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    What.The.Fuck.does that even mean?!


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    It means you the being.

    SCIENTOLOGIST
    I don't get it!


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    You the being!
    You know---you the being--on this planet ?


    SCIENTOLOGIST
    Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Now I get it!



    EXPLANTION: Scientology is a joke. The punchline is always an idiotic idiom. If the idiom doesn't make any sense, Scientology can explain it to you with another idiom of equal or greater idiocy.


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  2. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron

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  3. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

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  4. strativarius

    strativarius Comfortably Numb

    Who can RG be talking about? 2:45

     
  5. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron

    The Cult of Scientology is too stupid to UNDERSTAND this about the worldwide fallout against them.:
    YOU GET WHAT YOU ARE GETTING, BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU DO.
     
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  6. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron

    The Cult of Scientology is too stupid to UNDERSTAND this about the worldwide fallout against them.:
    YOU GET WHAT YOU ARE GETTING, BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU DO.
     
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  7. RogerB

    RogerB Crusader

    Yes, quite right and it does deserve repeating!! :D:p

    R
     
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  8. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    It's not limited to Scientology. It seems to be a feature of the narcissistic sociopath personality. No retaliation against them can ever be seen as justified, no matter what they do.

    In life in general, if you encounter somebody who keeps complaining about all the people who are aligned against him or her, and the person denies ever doing anything wrong, just run away from that person.
     
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  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .
    def.
    sorry -adjective:
    1. feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else's misfortune.
    2. (scientology) a rhetorical device and conversational conjunction used to bridge the moment from irreparably harming someone to demanding they donate enough to take responsibility for what happened to them.


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    Last edited: Jan 12, 2018
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  10. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Does anyone think that this photo should be the subject of a Things that Shouldn't Be report?

    P70_1.JPG
    Does looking at this photo instill desire to buy sanity from this person?
     
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  11. screamer2

    screamer2 Prisoner Of Zen

    I want to know how lrh managed to avoid good old fashioned cowboy ass-kickings.
     
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  12. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor


    LOL!

    There are at least 100 stupid things about that photo of "Ron The Director". To name just a few. . .

    --- A real motion picture "director" would not need to compose a fake action shot of himself directing, with glam 1930's lighting effect, a moronic-looking cowboy costume and a chair that has a label boasting "DIRECTOR!" If you've ever seen movie memorabilia at auction (or been on a film set) you know that real director's don't have to promote that they are a film director. For example, at auction you might see Spielberg's chair from "BACK TO THE FUTURE" that simply has his name tastefully stenciled on it. Or, George Lucas' director's chair from one of the Star Wars episodes that simply bears his initials:

    [​IMG]

    R-FACTOR DU JOUR: Directors direct. They don't
    spend their time trying to convince others they
    are a director--by labeling their chair for the world
    as if it's a clay demo. Proclaiming you are a "director"
    (instead of learning how to direct and doing it) is
    a perfect balance of mass and insignificance.

    --- Why is the "director" using color coordinated (yellow) megaphone/chair and fantasy airbrushed background effects? And leather gloves? Why does a movie director need wrangler's gloves---unless he is herding livestock like cult sheep, lol.

    --- Like everything else in Scientology, Hubbard proclaimed himself a "MASTER" and "AUTHORITY" of a subject (film directing) long before he accomplished anything. Hubbard even wrote "advices" that were highly confidential masterful about movie making. Someone told me about them once and I asked to see them. They responded that they were "confidential" and they would try to get authorization to let a non Golden Era Studios SO member to have that "data", lol. As if Hubbard held the secrets of the blockbuster universe which might be restimulative or "violate security" protocols. All that while Hubbard was directing absurdly amateurish "tech films" and writing Battlefield Earth, a movie that was judged by most film critics as "THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE".

    This is how Dianetics became "the modern science of mental health". He just claimed that market position with no slightest evidence, results or justification. Wogs have a word for that. Lying.

    .




     
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  13. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .

    Cross-posted from another thread named:
    "How can "mental mass" change depending on sex or race?"

    ---

    .

    Thanks for that rare commodity in discussions about Scientology---clarity!

    History is filled with miracle mongers and other charlatan clowns pitching their electronically deceptive devices. Hubbard and his e-meter will go down as the greatest 20th century hoax in the categories of both SCIENCE and RELIGION.


    [​IMG]

    Wow! Looks very....scientific!


    [​IMG]

    THE ORIGINAL OCA PERSONALITY TEST
    Franz Joseph Gall's 19th century Psycograph
    [high
    tech phrenology to diagnose personality traits and types]
    link at:
    The Museum of Quackery


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    Last edited: Jan 13, 2018
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  14. uncover

    uncover Silver Meritorious Patron

    Hmmmm.... are you talking about El Con Hubbard himself ? I mean, if yes, wouldn´t it better read: "....things that shouldn't have been ....(on this planet, in this universe)" ?
     
  15. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Are you insinuating that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg don't wear such outfits?

    -�-�-� -+-�-+-�-�-�-�-�-�.jpg
     
  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor


    LOL !

    [​IMG]



    original poster


    .
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2018
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  17. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    If a cult guru lies out of his a** in the forest and no one is there, does it still make a sound?
     
  18. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    What is the sound of one ass lying?
     
  19. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    Which side does it come out of, the left or right?
     
  20. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron

    I received this Facebook Message from Edoardo Lupi on Facebook. (a stranger)
    LOLOLOLOL



    MESSAGE:
    Hey Karen. The things you are sharing are inappropriate and should not be on Facebook. If you don't like Scientology anymore because you have become a Suppressive Person, its fine.
    But do not spread faleshood and disaffection around.
    Kids do it
    Bullies do it
    Are you one of them >
    Just drop the act and continue with your life.
    We won't stop because of you.
    I know it terrifies you that we are getting better and smarter than you.
    I hope this will haunt your nights
    Sincerely,
    A guy part of the 80%
    +++++++++
    End of message.
     
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