Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Well surely they do have SOME friends. :cool:

    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
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  2. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    Hey Hoaxy......a tad battery? I like that. :clap:

    Does that mean he was a little charged up? :spitcoffee:
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  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    lol lol lol lol

    i guess my reactive mind (being the diabolical a=a=a mechanism that it is) combined the words NATTERY with BATTY and ended up with "battery".

    Things Scientology always seem to end up at "battery". To wit:

    -- Xenu incarcerated in a mountain prison by means of an eternal battery.

    -- Sea Org members incarcerated in a maritime prison by means of (their guru's) eternal battery (against them).

    HolyHell, why in the f***king world did I not stand up, laugh loudly and walk out at the precise moment I first heard Hubbard's "eternal battery" xenu whopper? Was I super-stupid? HELL YEAHHHHH! LOL

  4. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    Yeah, I too can't understand why in the f***ing world you HH didn't walk out at the precise moment you heard of Xenu :confused::scratch:
    Come on
    So disapointing! :kickedout:

  5. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    I've beat up myself about this a lot . . . because I'm basically a very smart person,
    and how could this have happened?

    All I can think of is decades ago -- before the Internet -- we were all living in a societal
    "dark ages" of sorts. I remember going to the library to look through newspapers
    (on microfiche) from distant cities to confirm things I was hearing about Hubbard
    and Scientology. Wow, how antiquated. It was just so hard to see and understand
    events outside one's own local neighborhood.

    Centuries ago, I would have been one of the Christians who believed in the power of
    indulgences and would have given all the gold coins I could scrounge up to Rome, as
    a way of possibly avoiding divine punishments for all my sins -- real or imagined.

    Then when Martin Luther plastered his Ninety-five Theses on the door of All Saints
    Church in his local town, I would have probably joined his "squirrel" movement
    with new-found enthusiasm. Then, as I got much older, lived a lot more life and
    saw much more life, I probably would have chucked it all and joined an "ex group,"
    writing my screeds with the ink and paper of the day.

    Maybe the stupidity of youth and wisdom of older age is just an unavoidable aspect
    of the human condition.
    All I can come up with. :shrug:
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  6. Koot

    Koot Patron with Honors

    Scientology???????????????????????????????????????????????????????/ Give me a fucking break
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Interesting and fun to read that!

    I guess all "vehicles" have blind spots. Automobiles do. And whatever vehicle(s) we are using to navigate through life (e.g. body, mind, spirit, et al) it holds true. Everyone has blind spots. That's why I laugh in the face (figuratively) of folks who reduce former Scientologists to clueless fools---which is true---but then....

    Then they often go on a chest-thumping victory dance about how THEY'D never be taken in and duped like that. Then they push you down into some mud and disdainfully laugh, LOL.

    No, THEY'D never make a miscalculation or commit a stupid error in judgment. Not THEM! Pay no attention to the fact that they:

    --got divorced more than once by reason of stupidly committing their life to the wrong person.

    -- lost all their savings in one (or more) incredibly stupid investment deals.

    -- deal with serious health issues due to stupid dietary and other life style mistakes.

    -- have a bad job (that they hate) that doesn't pay them enough due to awful life choices where they naively (and stupidly) never bothered to learn a valuable skill or profession that would pay them enough to make them happy.

    Well, we can just go on for hundreds of examples, but suffice to say, all them folks who laugh at the utter stupidity of Scientologists (like I laugh at them) have ghosts a'plenty in their own closet of cringefully stupid things they believed or did.

    Now I have the rare and super-fun pleasure at laughing at the stupid folly of Scientologists AND others who pretend they have "risen above" the human blind-spot condition-----and laugh like hell at myself for my stupid scientology adventure and all the other incredibly dumb things I have believed or done.

    When people who know me personally begin to praise the enormous successes I have had in business, I politely stop them and let 'em know how many really dumbo mistakes I made...before i learned enough to do it right.

    So, what shall we conclude from this well intentioned rant. I guess I'll turn to a quote from Church of Hoaxology Founder (and Ron's estranged twin brother) Don Hubbard to explain it all:

    "Man is basically stupid".
    L. Don Hubbard
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
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  8. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    That's the difference between a scientologist who believes what he's told that he'll freak out vs. my wog sister who saw the movie and laughed at how hilarious it was.
  9. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    I was going to write that we had known the same super ethical guy..
    but just realized mine was only clear...and sometimes pts of womens seduction....
    But Flag knew as well as St-Hill and all the planet earth but his trusting lovely wife. :eek:

    Don't ask me how I know this. :cool:
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    I often wondered how I could have stayed in Scientology when nobody was attaining any of the abilities of a Clear; nobody was going exterior with full perception or any perception, for that matter; nobody was "total cause over life" ever, even for one minute; nobody was able to levitate or even psychokinetically move any object even one-trillionth of a nanometer; and, nobody was able to postulate anything and demonstrate it instantly manifesting in the physical world.

    It was all high-flying delusional con games being played against duped marks, who then paid vast riches to acquire the "ability" to dupe themselves.

    So, what was it about me (my reactive mind wonders) that made me succeptible to such a clownishly obvious hoax?

    Since I threw my e-meters out decades ago, I could not "get on the cans" and assess the REASON or even do a "listing and nulling" to find my "item". Nonetheless, I was able to contact an Indie Scientologist who is carrying forth Ron's miraculous technical legacy, by agreeing to give me a telephonic auditing session, where THEY would hold the cans and thus be able to see what MY emeter reactions are. (Yeah, I know it sounds like I am still overwhelmed and disoriented by Hubbard's tech, but trust me---Ron's tech is really, really, really going to work this time, I just know it!

    Hold on, the phone is ringing------------------

    Well, I just spoke to my auditor on the phone and he said that he was kind of tied up today and doesn't have time to give me the session. So he just did a session without me on the phone, telepathically putting his attention on me in the theta universe, so he could assess a list of possible reasons I got hoaxed by Scientology when I was a teenager and beyond. . .

    Here's what he just emailed me (weirdly he didn't note the size of the reads, but it's probably some advance tech I don't know about since he used to be a Class XII auditor!!!) :


    (x) STUPID
    (x) NAIVE
    (x) GULLIBLE


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  11. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    We all know why we say : NO to any doubt about attestin and YES to wanting other to have similar gains

    1) If we tell the truth it will cost thousands of $$$ of review and if we don't make gains it means something more fearfull...So better to get a floating needle....:cool: After all, there are so many other gains to get on the next level...:D
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  12. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    didn't you get David St-Laurence to also kick out the evil BT's out of your degrading meat body :p

    Seriously HH,
    We all run the same thing I guess...I too can't figure out why I have been so stoopid ...

    When discussing this with friends, the specific issue that is the most shameful to talk about is that we knew those people asttesting they gained such powers and walking in the org with their super mystic aura about such powerful powertz were , for many of them, unable to figure out a proper meal, holding a stable job, paying bills and raising kids...Some of them were even unable to manage proper hygiene and dental care.

    Therefore we were only facing gullible and delluded people who lost their critical mind and ability in organizing properly their basic life, for they had superior serious matter and mission to look after, on this planet...

    Thus, IMHO, what may be one of the answers is ; a sin of a spiritual greedyness...
    Believing eternity and freedom can be bought and only those who can buy it will get it...and they will be part of the earth elite appointed to salvage the planet...... Wouaw.....
    Which brings us to the second sin: Pride....Pride to be choosen to be part of the elite, who possesses such a high degree of ethics and powers (SO & OT - the elite) The group play a large role here..the social rank and praise...(we are egregious beings)

    And soon, one must develop creative selective blindness to hold all this social ego inflating system alive...It's like being told a lie we like to be told, then buy it, hold onto it, and later on , keeping it alive despite knowing it was just a lie ...because it addresses a basic human fear..the fear of dying...If we can buy our eternity, then we will never die....thus we won't jeopardize it.

    The major lie that shall have alert us was this stuff of buying our eternity and not loosing it...
    How the fuck could eternity be either bought or lost
    eternity= eternity ???? Right ????
    (Is eternity a good to be possessed ? In $cientology = YES. This is what they sell us to make $$$)

    (but honestly, I gave up on trying ot make sens of my own stupidity...Somewhere I lost my critical mind and there are too many aspects of $cientology that uses mind conditionning, reshaping, that I don't know about and that would be essential in gaining the complete scene of what happened to us)

    Anyway, when you get your next session with David, please pass my regards for him helping you. :cool:
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
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  13. Out Ethics

    Out Ethics Out Ethics Ex Ethics Officer

    Not to bust up your hysterical comm cycle here...

    but I saw this on Social Media from my "still ins" hiding under the radar...

    I was going to start a new thread but I thought I could throw it here for a few laughs

    Anyone hear of the Happiness Convention ?

    Scientologists are taking their kids to it

    One stopped in Dallas Idle Morgue and the staff were salivating over his 13 year old daughter....RAW MEAT for the SEA ORG
  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    The power of suggestion! Wait, I mean....

    The Power of Postulates!

    That's the one (1) single, solitary time in a Scientologist's life when they really, really can postulate something and instantly have it manifest in the physical universe! When they are "r-factored" or "briefed" on something and instantly go into "total agreement" with it---which makes it "reality".

    Scientologists call that "total knowingness" or "total freedom". Wogs call it total stupidity.

  15. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    Don't forget to mention Don's contrarian bestseller . . . .

    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
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  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Thank you greatly for the helpful advice which really indicated to me, the being, on this planet! Your knowingness about my unhandled BT case is astonishing, you must have been picking that up with your perceptics!

    Yes, it's true that due to my OT III thru OT VIII case----the incalculably vast numbers of alien degraded beings from the wholetrack literally RUINING my life every single day----I ended up in hopelessly despondent apathy. At which point I simply gave up and blew Scientology. However. . . . . . .

    Quite miraculously, the very moment I blew Scientology all of those hidden-influence, intergalactic wholetrack BTs blew instantaneously and with thunderous finality!

    It was only then that I realized Hubbard and his zombie PC posse were the ones meddling in all aspects of my life, countering my own dreams and intentions with those of their avaricious hoax. They, not the reactive mind, were the actual BTs1 ruining Scientologists' lives!


    1 BTs - noun: (abbv.) Bullshitting Thetans
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  17. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

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  18. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    This explains why I have had so much difficulty in the previous weeks reaching Don on his mobile. . .

    He obviously must have been on that book signing tour. When i realized that, I decided to put my anchor points out and locate where Don, the being, is on this planet---to put a com line into him. And, miraculously he just called me back!

    He's very excited with the blockbuster success of the book and he said that even greater, his wholetrack research has made the biggest-ever breakthrough in the Church of Hoaxology's entire history!

    Don has been crunching a lot of numbers and actually figured out the financial & viability metrics of OT III through OT VIII. His findings include the scientific fact that:

    -- An average Scientologist handles/blows 100,000 BTs on the OT levels.

    -- An average Scientologist pays $500,000 to do the Bridge.

    -- Ergo,in the Church of Scientology, the CPBTB1 factor is $5.00 per BT.

    Then, Don announced a startling new breakthrough that he said will guarantee planetary clearing, on this planet. Don stated that for a limited time, qualifying Pre-OTs can prepay their OT levels at the Church Of Hoaxology's Advanced Org (it's on a ship at a confidential location) will be allowing you to make a one-time advance payment to your account of only $50,000 for "all the BTs you can blow!"

    This works out to an astonishing savings for you the being!

    Instead of paying $5.00 per blow, you only pay the low, low, deeply discounted price of 50 cents a blow!!!

    Let me quote Don exactly here, when he stated: "That's right folks, if you order now, we'll even do something crazier! We'll discount that to only 25 cents a blow which is below our cost!!!"

    1 CPBTB: (acronym) Cost Per BT Blow

    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
  19. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    I kind of have to disagree with you here. When I was brand new to Scientology, I walked up to a small group in the lobby of the Manor Hotel and as I did I overheard what someone said. Suddenly I was losing my perceptions and the room was disappearing. I was struggling to maintain contact with my scared the shit out of me. I said something and someone took me around to give me a locational for a quite a while. Eventually I went to bed, but I couldn't was awful. The next morning I went to ASHO and had a session, even though I was in ratty shape and what was terrifying me showed up in session and got handled. :whew:

    It seems to me that anybody's shit can be triggered if the right buttons are pushed. Mine sure was....shocked the hell out of me. I wasn't told that I would freak out just by happily walking into a conversation of something that I knew nothing about. It just showed me how vulnerable people can be if they run into the wrong stimulus in their environment and how the mind can just take over suddenly, without warning, with an unwanted and unexpected effect on oneself. It can be terrifying.
  20. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    Oh boy
    25 cents a blow job is not well paid :(
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
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