Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. Voodoo

    Voodoo Don't Mess With Texas

    Wow. I just realized I still have one of those shirts (never wore it).
  2. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    "Wow" is right! In that case. . .

    It's time for the Hubbard Haiku du jour!


    L. Ron Hubbard Way
    The Way To Happiness Way
    The Way Out. . . . NO WAY!

    Last edited: May 12, 2019
  3. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    A shirt like that might be worth quite a bit to the cult churtch. Not for intrinsic value (it has negative value) but to avoid another major incoming flapping. Think about it.
  4. Voodoo

    Voodoo Don't Mess With Texas

    Yeah, I imagine they're pretty rare in unused condition. If I wasn't such a lazy bastard I'd look 'em up on Ebay to see what they're going for :p
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Sure, why not name a street in Americans' second largest city after a sociopathic liar, con man and charlatan who sold fake cures to credulous marks for billions of dollars.

    Sure, let's "validate" avaricious cult creeps & sadistic criminals by naming significant geographic areas after them.













    Is there anything else we can do for you, Dr. Hubbard, in order to put in our exchange to you, for Clearing our wretched slave planet?

    What's that? You'd like another major thoroughfare named for you?

    Sir, yes sir, no problem! We'll get right on it, sir!


    Last edited: May 12, 2019
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  6. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron

    It is a theme inside Scientology that Earth is a "Prison Planet" That all of us were Dumped on earth.
    This is not comprehensible. Based on the fact that if you agree you are a spirit, how do you pick up a spirit and ship it. How to capture a spirit and send? FEDEX ?
    Also, within the cult the word is that the planet is INSANE.
    A lunatic asylum. Only Scn cult brick and mortar outfits are "islands of sanity."
    So Earth is a combo of Prison and Lunatic Asylum.

    This is the planet that has evolved Mars exploration, instant communication on multiple platforms to anywhere, jets that can fly you at super speeds, modern medicine that add to longevity.
    The Hubbard lecture called "Role of Earth" explains the prison planet in great detail. Anyone heard it ?

    The only prison I experienced was in the cult.
    I was held against will for 6 torturous months. On the so called "Running Program" I was a prisoner because I was in a Prison of Belief

    Like some mindless robot I ran around a pole 12 hours a day as punishment even though it was crushing me making me into a sub atomic particle with no will, no power of choice and I did it because I was ordered.
    Conditioned and brainwashed, I did what was ordered but I absolutely could feel the Darkness in the cult.

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  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    You've captured the 4th Dynamic step on the "Dissemination Formula", wherein the Scientologist must "find the being's ruin, or make one real to them".

    This is how Hubbard trained Scientologists to recruit new degraded donor-ific dupes. That little phrase "...or make one real to them" is what Hubbard's tech classified as the tone level of "covert hostility" or "1.1".

    "Make one", as in "make it go right".

    TRANSLATION OF THE WORD "MAKE": 1. To cause something to happen. 2. (Scn) To lie or otherwise commit any crime you think you can get away with in order to raise your havingness high enough to have what another being has reactively misidentified as their own.

    Ergo, Hubbard (being the BIG being that he was) indicated to all mankind their BIG 4th dynamic ruin:

    "Hey, Ron here, just dropping by earth to give y'all a friendly free BIG r-factor--- You folks are
    slaves on a prison planet for the criminal and the insane. Worse yet you are trapped in the
    MEST universe and you are never, ever going to get out of your nightmarishly degraded state,
    so naturally you will suffer for eternity. Have a nice day. Oh wait, I just had an idea of how you
    could escape the MEST insane asylum that has been ruining your entire existence for trillions of
    years. You are never going to get out of MEST hell by the way until you as a being stop desiring
    MEST. Now isn't that fascinating that a being craves MEST--the very thing that is stopping them
    from having miraculous Godlike powers where you can create & have any MEST you desire
    without becoming enslaved inside it! Now, in order to escape the hideous MEST booby trap
    that you are tragically ensnared in, you simply have to apply my technology and to donate
    some of your MEST to my church so that your exchange is in. Now, I don't need your MEST,
    you understand, but if I help you go free of the MEST trap and you don't pay me with MEST,
    you are only going to go out-exchange to me and become criminal, which is only hurting

    you because beings do not get case gain when they are continuously committing overts."


    Last edited: May 13, 2019
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  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



    REASON: Because Scientologists are severely harassed, punished, tortured & terrorized if they DON'T apply Hubbard's tech and also if they DO apply Hubbard's tech.

    EXAMPLE: You can literally turn to ANY page of Scientology or Anti-Scientology material and find a perfect example. Here, let me prove it by picking something on THIS page. Okay, let's just go with the tone scale graphic just previous to this post.
    A) If you DO NOT apply the tone scale properly you fail to "detect, handle and shatter" a 1.1 SP, that makes you PTS. PTS people are routed to ethics for handling. They are also ordered to buy the PTS/SP course. And they are also stalked until they buy the PTS Rundown for tens of thousands of dollars. They are literally forced to find an SP that is causing all their problems.

    B) If you DO apply the done scale properly and you successfully detect a 1.1 SP (Hubbard), this makes you an enemy of Scientology (and mankind), and therefore YOU are an SP. Whereupon Scientology declares and disconnects you after which they viciously attack you with "Fair Game" tricks and lies, lawsuits and other felonious terrorist shattering technology.

    PC PUNCHLINE OF THE DAY: It is sacred scripture that an auditor must never evaluate or invalidate the preclear. Unless the preclear cognites that Hubbard has lied and defrauded them and stolen all their money. Then all manner of EVAL/INVAL is unleashed to intentionally cave-in, spin-in and destroy that being. Funny, isn't it, how the sacred scripture on covert hostility is itself covertly hostile?

    Last edited: May 14, 2019 at 1:39 AM
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  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



    THE CHALLENGE: Within the vast array of deceptive cult tricks, is it even possible to pick out just one (1) as the most rockslamming ruse to religiously rape its recruits of their riches?

    THE GIMMICK: Misdirection. The same gimmick used by stage magicians who likewise promote paranormal miracles.

    WHY IT WORKS: Whilst having his metaphysical & MEST pockets picked clean, the mark never notices. Instead, the Dianetically duped DB credulously grins and writes wins.

    THE MISDIRECTION: Scientologists are taught early and often how to follow (obey) "commands" whether in the form of tone-40 commands, auditing commands or the command channel itself. They are never allowed the luxury of pausing to think, evaluate and/or question anything---because those are reactive responses in the form of "com lags", which are only manifested in low-toned losers of lugubriously low-status. The mesmerizing misdirection methodology used to KSA (Keeping Scientologists Anaten) is so obvious that it becomes invisible. To wit, Scientology is a fraud built on lies. Ridiculously risible "Big Lies", in the form of promising people they will very soon acquire god-like superpowers with which they can shower them with magic-lamp miracles!

    HOW DO SCIENTOLOGISTS POSSIBLY NOT OBNOSE THAT THEY ARE BEING LIED TO? Now we are approaching the diabolically deceptive genius of Dr. Hubbard the meitreyya & betrayya. Who knew that "mankind's greatest friend" and the reincarnated Buddha was a pathological liar? But that's not the gimmick, that's just propaganda positioning. The reason Scientologists never consider that they are being LIED TO is because Scientology is built on the principle of "Never defend, always attack!" Ergo, a Scientologist never does what any normal person would do when faced with ludicrous promises of magical powers. Ask for proof. Wogs call it "due diligence", cult management calls it " out-ethics lower condition called DOUBT".

    OKAY BUT THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY THE "KNOWING HOW TO KNOW" PEOPLE DON"T KNOW THE CULT IS LYING: Yeah, we're finally getting to that. The reason "able" Scientologists are never able to figure out that Hubbard is lying to their face is that the cult pre-emptively attacks them by demanding they confess their "crimes" (fraud) and "withholds" (lies). The cult quite intentionally introverts the very people they are charging $600,000 to extrovert. Scientologists never suspect that cult leaders are defrauding and lying to them because they are too busy looking for their own lies. This is precisely how Scientologists are kept perpetually off-balance and "out of present time" so that the victim is searching for their own lies (out ethics, overts, withholds, alter-is, et al) that prevent the actual liar's (Hubbard) hoax technology from working.

    CULT CLIFF NOTES (summary): Defrauded Scientologists are so bamboozled by bullshit, they actually think THEY are the one that is lying! The precise moment that a Scientologist finds the actual liar, the reactive condition called "Scientologist" blows.

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  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



    That there is no secret technology.

    Making Scientologists think the technology has
    advanced when there was no technology to begin with.

    That Scientologists have total certainty they have
    witnessed a miracle when nothing at all actually happened.

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  11. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    When the technology didn't seem to work as advertised Hubbard was brilliant at making customers believe the reason was something other than a possible flaw in the technology.

    And this was one of the keys in why Scientology has lasted as long as it did and on why some Scientologists stay in as long as they do.

    They don't blow after failing to achieve the promised abilities they've paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for because they've been lead to believe that what's preventing them from achieving those abilities is something wrong with them, or their application of the tech, MU's, PTSNESS, or other issues that will get handled on the next level or after hundreds of hours of sec-checks. Oh yeah, and we can't forget the evil SP transcriptionists who used semicolons in a non-standard fashion.

    Another key to pulling off this con was forbidding Scientologists discussing their experiences on the "bridge" with each other. If allowed to do this they'd quickly figure out it was not just THEM that were having trouble obtaining those promised abilities, but the situation existed widely amongst all members.
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  12. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Well said!

    When the Scientology movie is ultimately fast-forwarded to the end---WHEN ALL JUSTIFICATIONS FOR WHY THE TECH DIDN'T WORK HAVE BEEN EXHAUSTED AND/OR THE SCIENTOLOGIST IS IS FED UP TO THE POINT WHERE THEY INITIATE DUE DILIGENCE OR DARE TO DISAGREE---there is only one excuse card left for the cult to play:


    There is an entire spectrum of "gradients" that determine which one of the countlessly varied declarations is asserted, including, but not limited to the fact that YOU--

    -- are evil
    -- are out ethics
    -- are committing overts
    -- have withholds
    -- are criminal
    -- are a liar
    -- have evil purposes
    -- are an SP

    All the above r-factors essentially mean the same thing.

    They mean that you are being introverted, spun in and MISDIRECTED from noticing that all of those attributes are perfect descriptions of what cult leaders (Hubbard, Miscavige, et al) are doing to you.

    When those indications have no effect on the Scientologist they are simply declared and disconnected and (as required to protect the cult's financial empire) the victim is further attacked with Fair Game felonies, black ops, stalking & terrorism.

    CONCLUSION: The modern science of mental health is a treacherous viper lying in wait--quietly grinning until the moment you stop feeding it donations--at which moment it strikes with poisonous fangs to incapacitate you or much worse. Because destroying others is simply an "ethics" gradient to make things "theta" again, don't you see?

  13. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on




    Holding Swords & Saluting!
    That is how Scientologists Clear a Planet.
    They're not worried about nobody ever attaining Clear.
    Because they have swords & people are saluting.

    Last edited: May 16, 2019 at 4:41 AM
  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    L. Ron Hubbard's "Bridge To Total Freedom" & miraculous OT powers!

    The only people (on this planet) not cringing are Scientologists. . .


    CUE MUSIC: SImon & Garfunkle

    Hello DORKness
    Mankind's Greatest Friend
    I've come to Joke & Degrade
    About you again. . .

  15. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    I only read the first two words of your post "scientific proof" when I reactively laughed and knew it was going to be a hilarious post.

    Then I read your next post about Dorkenetics while drinking coffee and it almost went up my nose.
  16. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    Yeah. I thought it was pretty good, too.

    We need more J&D here.

    I'm just saying.
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  17. This is a huge thread and I sure wish I was Super Literate so that I could just blink and sped red each and every one of these 85 pages in a couple of seconds, (always looking up MU's and using the demo kit, naturally), but I am not going to even try to read it all.

    With that in mind, this may have been already mentioned, but I always thought the price increases that happened from time to time to be one of Scientology's dumbest moments. Dumb for a lot of reasons.

    For one thing, your biggest and most numerous criticism is that you are nothing but a money grubbing cult and yet you have the gall to ask for even more money from your members. These are members who have spent more than enough time insisting to the rest of the world that you aren't a money grubbing cult. And yet you do it time and time again to your supporters.

    Did it ever occurred to Hubbard or Miscavige that these price increases would only piss off Scientologists? I am sure it did but the sheer greed and nerve of it all was one of the things that led to me question what was really going on here.

    The other dumb thing was having to listen to the die hards defending the fact that a Scientology book was at least three times the price of a hardcover book in a normal bookstore. They would get so righteously angry with me in order to shut people like me up. I mean, how dare I point out the obvious fact that something might be wrong here.

    In a way, I have to thank Hubbard and his band of yes men and women for setting me on the path out of this crazy trap.

    I believe most Scientologists know this as well but they have spent most of their lives in the cult trying to ignore it. I could be wrong about that. Some clams seem perfectly happy with all of this.
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  18. [​IMG]
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  19. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    What occurred to Hubbard was how much extra money he could pocket by charging triple the price of most other books on the market.

    During the early 80's when I was on staff at Boston Org averaging about 33 cents/hour, struggling just to survive, and our org was chronically short of toilet paper because so much of our gross income (in addition to the money from the book sales)was being sent "uplines", Hubbard was living like a king, having suitcases full of cash being sent to him, and he accumulated hundreds of millions of dollars prior to his departure to Target Two.

    During this same period Sea Org members at the management organization in New York (FOLO or CLO) went through long periods where they were living on a diet of rice and beans.

    I'm grateful that Ron was "mankind's greatest friend." :yes:

    I would have hated to see what the conditions would have been like had he been our enemy. :whistling:
    Last edited: May 16, 2019 at 11:31 PM
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  20. Karakorum

    Karakorum Patron

    Yep, fully agreed. I'd say the "second pillar of stupidity" was the multiple secret levels, which simply won't work in the age of the internet.

    I think if Scn had removed the fees in favor of some sensible tax say 2.5% - like what is in Islam AND had an open and accessible doctrine, it would still have 100 000 members or more.

    "Yeah, but why should we copy the stuff that all sucessful religions do? Let's try to rip people off while trying to reinvent the wheel at the same time!" :blink:
    Yep, but then again this strategy was quite shortsighted. Smart religions leave free copies of their "hey we are cool!" books in hotels. That way they get many more new members, so they can afford to 'charge' individuals less.

    Scn went for "less quantity" from teh get go, so soon it had to sheer their sheep several times a year, which decreased membership quantity, which made them sheer is a death spiral.

    You see the same process in a newspaper that is about to die. They lose readers, so they come up with more and more preposterous content to rise sales, but the madness drives readers away in the long run, so they have to come up with even more preposterous stuff... Classic death spiral.
    Last edited: May 16, 2019 at 10:42 PM
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