I decided to leave a few years ago, but the fear of losing my minor children kept me in; my husband threatened to take them from me. I've been distancing myself more and more since then, and even read Leaving Scientology (and boy did I cry for days!), but things have really come to a head now and I just can't live with the fear and lies anymore, the low integrity I've been maintaining knowing the truth about the Co$ but not leaving or doing anything about it, the terror I feel when my husband tells me he was regged into paying for another action and that we're in even greater debt, the constant concern over my children getting involved and one day being shipped off to one of the Delphi schools and then some SO base, the nausea I feel when I have to go in session. I know I'm not the first person who has ever had to divorce and fight for custody when leaving. I'm meeting with several divorce attorneys over the next few weeks to accrue legal advice, but the likelihood of them understanding the depths of the complications Scientology presents is slim, so I'm here asking for advice and to read your stories! Has anyone reading this had to divorce over leaving Scientology? If children were involved, how did you handle legal custody and/or stipulations over religious practices? If you were already declared, did that help your case for custody? Were you declared because of the divorce? Did you transfer your funds on account to your spouse, did you get a repayment, or were you still responsible for Scientology-related debts? If Scientology wasn't a factor in your custody agreement, why not? Was religion disregarded by the judge as a factor in weighing his/her determination? Even worse for me than the possibility of my children wanting to disconnect from me when they're older is that one of them might be driven mad or into depression because of Scientology -- or just because life poops on us sometimes -- and not be able to seek actual mental health services; or that their father might reject them due to their "covert hostility" or try to audit the gay away if one of them turns out to be gay, queer, or trans. Any advice on these topics, even if it's not about divorce, would also be welcome! Of course I would love for my husband to come with me, but as you can imagine, I've spent several years trying to get him to "see the light," treading carefully so as not to set off red flags for him that would lead to him writing me up (not always successfully!). I really don't think it's going to happen. But maybe one day he'll wake up and get out, too! I won't stop hoping. In the meantime, I really can't keep losing my life to Scientology and risking my children's lives, too. Please don't hesitate to communicate; I could use all the advice I can get.