Thank you, everyone, for all the advice and kind words. I'm not able to make in-depth replies to each of you at the moment but I've read everything you all wrote three times over and I really do appreciate it. I can't deny that it feels a bit surreal being on this forum... I knew it existed but never thought I'd be here! But I really appreciate knowing I'm not alone in my experiences or in the way I feel about the Church, and that I'm not crazy or "CI" for being afraid for my children. I don't want to go into details yet, because I know that if/when I get declared, my husband will most likely think I really have completely "gone off the rails" and am not worth trying to converse with, and I'm not quite ready to risk that; he's at least still willing to talk to me about my issues with the Co$, though I can't break through his wall of certainty, no matter how much I try to gently encourage him to open his eyes -- he's always been so convinced that if I just gave it another chance, if I just did another handling, if I just did another repair action, if I just wrote up-lines, if I just spent more time at upper-orgs, if I just got to the top of the Bridge, I would see things his way, and I've wanted very much to believe that if I stayed with him and kept nudging him, as I have been the last few years, that he would budge in his blinding certainties, but he's even told me he's dead-certain he never will. Like I said, I can't risk my children's well-being on that very small chance. And for better or worse, I do think he knows that with the Church, you're either in or you're out, and what that would mean for me and for our children. I will let you guys know how it all goes, and hopefully can give other people in this situation some advice in the future, if necessary. I'm so sorry to hear that and I'll hold out hope things change course for the better with your family. Thanks so much.