What did you need most when you left Scn?

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by Petey C, Sep 12, 2011.

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  1. Petey C

    Petey C Silver Meritorious Patron

    This thread is probably directed at ex-SO members than ex-staff/Narconon/WISE etc, but don't let that stop you.

    I'm interested to know about what you needed most when you got out of scn. For example, did you have to borrow money to get to where you were going? How long before you were able to get a job? How did you live in the meantime? Did you have all those things we take for granted like a driver's license, a bank account, etc? What sort of help would have been gratefully received? How long did it take before you felt secure in the world?
  2. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Crusader

    I had blown all my money on services by the time I left. I was still young when I got out, 28, so I started making it back pretty quick as my interest in what I could NOW buy was highly motivating. But I needed someone I could relate to. I was an island.

    The thing I needed most was stability....people around me who were not suspicious or attacking, and people who wanted me to WIN instead of looking for reasons why I was still undeserving of pulling off the big one. :unsure:

    It took me four years to feel stable again. We all have many aspects of self.. I had become unstable as a result of stirring everything up jumping around here and there on repair lists, opening up pandora's boxes and completing nothing absolutely. I needed my sanity back. I NEEDED A STABLE POINT OF VIEW FROM WHICH TO OPERATE FROM. I needed just to BE... without someone ELSES' reasons to BE... I would find groups and just 'sit' amongst them..regaining the feeling of being human again....realizing it was not deplorable to be in that condition and I need not beat myself up.

    Within groups we role play for each other, getting heavily imprinted this way and that. It can be hard to shake these off___ these embeded imprints where powers of intention have been honed to the hilt and members' absolute right to stigmatize you is so over the top.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2011
  3. Petey C

    Petey C Silver Meritorious Patron

    Hats, were you on staff or public? If public, I assume you had a place to live, a job, etc.

    I'm glad you got out young, and even after four years, young enough to remake yourself. It's hard for people getting out in their 50s.
  4. GoNuclear

    GoNuclear Gold Meritorious Patron

    I needed my time back, my life back, to keep my money, a job, to get away from the crazyness, etc. And I was public. I eventually did a crash and burn and wound up on the street. Gospel Missions of America out in California gave me a hand up, a way out of the trap of having wound up on the street.

  5. scooter

    scooter Gold Meritorious Patron

    When I left staff in 2000, I needed a career. I found one, sort of, but soon found myself sucked back into the cult via the TTC (very brief) and then NarCONon.:duh:

    When I left the cult in 2008, I needed a career but also an outlet for the betrayal I felt I'd been subjected to. The latter was ESMB and activism. The former was a long slow process of trying to find how to find a good career when you're over 50, been on another planet for thirty years and have no real job skillset to show for it. that was the hardest thing to do.:omg:

    Having ESMB was a Godsend as it had stories of how people had recovered from this situation I now found myself in and links to the stories and, in some cases, I befriended those who'd done what I hoped to do. And badgered them with questions.:biggrin:

    I had to work out what I wanted to do and where I had talents and skills that I could enhance. It's a work in progress.:yes:
  6. Petey C

    Petey C Silver Meritorious Patron

    Pete, you had a tough time. Hope you're OK again now. Just curious though, how did the GMA help?
  7. SchwimmelPuckel

    SchwimmelPuckel Genuine Meatball

    I'd have said that almost verbatim if you hadn't.. I WAS staff however.. The confounded Guardian's Office just to add mayhem to explosive diahhrea!

  8. AngeloV

    AngeloV Gold Meritorious Patron

    I needed stability. I needed a place of calmness. After blowing from the SO and the "hill 10's", chaotic work environment and dirt poor living conditions I needed my life back.

    Compared to others I have come to know on this board, I had an easy escape route. The sum of my possessions was $300, a car, some clothes and several boxes of scio books. But I had a family ( non-scio) to go back to. I was able pick up my pre-SO life very quickly and move forward and away from scio.
  9. Coyote13

    Coyote13 Patron with Honors

    What was needed most was to learn that scientology is fucked up and I'm not the only one to see it. To have people in my life who didnt make me wrong for having problems. People who encouraged me to talk and not stuff things inside. People stuck with me even when times were down. People who helped me( and others) with no personal gain involved( no ulterior motive). People who encouraged me to find my own way ( instead of believing they have the only way and if i disagree i must be bad). I guess in simpler terms, real caring, compassionate/loving, open people( not the scientology kind of "caring" and "open" and "compassionate/loving", but rather, the real world kind).

    I had a rough time, but I was blessed with some hella awesome people after being totally away from the influence of scientology and not being able to count on my family. I was exposed to people with real integrity and love in their hearts and were succesful. People who showed theres more to life than personal gains and that the suffering of others isnt a casue for scorn because they pulled it in. Hella more, I could go on, but again, real people with real personalities and feelings and emotions and able to deal with them and live life successfully and happily without ever even hearing of scientology or lrh. Peace and blessings.
  10. A new phone number
  11. bobthebuilder

    bobthebuilder Patron

    I'm with you on that one mate. I actually ended up getting work in Germany for a year or two because scientology isn't as welcome there as it is in England and I would have done anything to get away from the phone calls and friendly visits.

    I think like a lot here I most needed acceptance and validation when I left. ( If I dare use those words! ) I needed to know that friends and family still cared about me and still wanted me even after my rejection of them and I needed a roof and I needed money and they gave me all that. Getting a job was the hardest part and even now I sometimes wait to be sacked for some trumped up reason again.
  12. Iknowtoomuch

    Iknowtoomuch Gold Meritorious Patron

    I was pretty young and never finished school like so many other kids when I joined the Sea org.
    When I left we had absolutely nothing. I fit all my belongings in one bag. Quite literally.
    No money, no phone, no home, no real family that could help much. We were walking two miles to work one way for several months because we couldn't even afford bus tickets.

    They do give people $500 now when they leave. However that does little to help.
  13. Smilla

    Smilla Ordinary Human

    Time to enjoy just being myself was what I needed. I was never on staff, and never really made any friends in Scientology. None that mattered anyway - just some aquaintances. I was in and out whilst still young, so I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones.
  14. bobthebuilder

    bobthebuilder Patron

    They GIVE people money when they leave? That is a big change! We weren't ' allowed ' to leave and if we did, we did it secretively and we didn't leave with a penny to our names, that was for sure!
  15. Ogsonofgroo

    Ogsonofgroo Crusader

    I have yet to hear of anyone being given '500$' if they are on their way out the door, please prove me wrong with DOX.

    I call BS but am happy to be proved wrong.

  16. Voltaire's Child

    Voltaire's Child Fool on the Hill

    I wasn't SO. So I had a lot of basic needs covered. I got off a lot easier than many others did.

    I am glad that there is that 800 number for SO members to call. It has to be incredibly hard to leave the cult after years- in many cases- and start all over again.
  17. I realized that Scientology was thirty plus years of being misled from the answers that I wanted when I entered Scientology.

    When I got out, I still needed answers.

    All I realized from my experiece in Scientology was that I was asking the wrong questions.

    The Anabaptist Jacques
  18. Petey C

    Petey C Silver Meritorious Patron

    Thanks all -- I'm sobered by the knowledge of all that misery and struggle we all went through AFTER all the misery and struggle we went through while trying to get out.

    I have heard of several people getting $ to leave and $500 seems to be the magic number. I've read it in a couple of books -- Jeff Hawkins's book, I believe Amy Scobee's, and possibly Marc Headley's. I've also heard it personally from someone who was in the SO 17 years and got out about 5 years ago.

    I didn't get a cent, myself.
  19. bobthebuilder

    bobthebuilder Patron

    Maybe it was just the Sea org who got money when they left? I didn't want pay off money. I just wanted my own ' wasted money ' back! Good for those who get it though, they deserve it.
  20. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    When I left the SO in 1996 it was explained to me in OSA Int that the $500 was the "consideration" in exchange for signing the (false) waivers of rights of speaking out about the SO etc. In the end I was given some KTL books in lieu of the cash, as the cash would never have made it through FP. I didn't care as I had credit cards galore and told RTC they could give me a bag of dogshit and I would agree it was worth $500 just to get out of there (I did say that).