It's been a while since I visited this thread, and thanks all for your posts. I'm interested in what Mike Laws had to say about pre-cult identities (and the impossibility of returning to it if you had none, ie were born in). My pre-cult identity was hippyish and therefore not relevant to the 80s when I got out, and I had trouble figuring things out for myself. What was really clear was that the Scn/SO identity absolutely did NOT work. I admit that I spent years just wanting STUFF -- clothes, food, cars, books, household stuff, presents for people, furniture, whatever. I was starved for it and was envious of people who'd been accumulating for years, not deliberately but in that natural, evolving way one does when one lives a normal life. In the end it's living in the world that gave me what I needed: perspective, resources, tolerance, forgiveness (of myself as well as others), and sense that life can be fun.