Where do I go from here?

[20000000]

One of the big difficulties I had with leaving Scientology was having to admin to myself that Scientology does not actually have a road to Total Freedom. Once I confronted that, it was easy to disconnect. But there was a big hole in my life.

I had been involved with Scientology for 20 years, 10 of those on staff. My sole purpose was to get myself up the Bridge and help others. One of the things that I had to confront was the fact if Scientology did not have the answers, who did. Did anyone?

My wife and I have spent since then researching the different practices out there from all sorts of avenues, having a look at each and trying to evaluate them. The other thing I have done is put into perspective what Scientology does actually achieve, and how it achieves it, taken from a viewpoint of what gets done on it's "OT Levels". I have also been auditing on FreeSolo for a few months. The results have been good, put into their correct perspective. How far will this take me? I am not sure.

Do I think there is a road out? Yes, but it is not a well marked out. I don't think Scn has it. I think there are various people that have the answers in bits and pieces. Someone is going to have to put the materials together in a Scientific way, and have them properly validated. How that will get done, I don't know.

So for me personnaly, I will continue auditing on FreeSolo and see how far it takes me. I will then also continue researching, and finding alternatives.

In the mean time I will enjoy life being out of Scn.

Hey ScnRebel,

Thanks for placing your view point on this thread.

Getting out of the CofS was quite a thing for me as well but I was very relieved. What also got to me, was the fact that I worked hard at getting others to join the CofS for them to also one day reach "Total Freedom". After I left, I realized that I was working very hard at leading the blind to the pot. This thought really pissed me off. I did it because at the time I fully believed that there was a route to "Total Freedom" in Scientology. To be able to stand up and admit what scientology actually is, takes quite a bit of confront for me because then I also have to admit that I sort of commited overt acts againt others that believed in me. You get my Point?

I also have a quest to find answers and I truely believe that there are answers scattered all over the place. And yes, finding the pieces and putting them all together is also what I need to fill the hole that the pot left in me.

As far as Free Solo is concerned, I truely believe that from a "Case" perspective, it has done me some good. When I started with it a few weeks ago, my needle was very active. Since then I have had a big change "in needle characteristics". My needle is mostly a clean needle and I have to skip session for a few days at a time. This to me is a good indicator that it works for me.

Thanks for sharing and please keep me updated on the wins in your life after the pot.

 

[20000000]

Bingo

I have heard that refered to as dharma (not to be confused with Dharma) which, from my understanding, basically suggests one's own spiritual path which may differ somewhat from others'.
Whether or not these paths ultimately lead to the same place I do not know.
I got that definition from a video interview here, btw.
Different interviews on this site have been really influential in my own journey. Lots of useful information.
There is also a plethora of information all over the net if you care to take the time and look around for it.

I can really relate to your position as I find myself in a similar one. I got involved with Scientology for a specific reason myself. I was looking for a solution to maintaining a state of high awareness that would happen to me now and then. A state that I knew was my true self as opposed to a lesser state which was the norm for me.

I still think that parts of Scientology and LRH theory are useful but the church itself has gone off the rails and is useless to me anymore so I tend to keep my own counsel -- something that Hubbard discouraged and that I hold him in contempt for to this day. However, I am also grateful to him for some things that I have picked up from his work -- one item in particular that I have just begun to check into more in the last couple of days. (The pineal gland thing, so as not to create a mystery here.)

One thing that I have learned, at least for myself, is that each of us has an inner "higher self" that is forever trying to guide us on our spiritual journeys. It is a non-physical part of you and if you will ask it to provide to you what you may need those things will kind of "magically" show up for you to check out and learn from.
Tolle's The Power of Now is one such example that we seem share in common. It was really big for me and kind of fell into my experience right when it was needed.
I kind of felt that I was catching a wave at that time and more and more things have followed on this wave. I am once again excited about living and doing better and better all of the time.

I don't consider myself an expert on any of this and am, in no way, insisting that I am "right" about it; just thought I might add something to the thread in hopes that it may be useful somehow. There are many here that have much to contribute.

Welcome 20000000

Namaste

You speak with a non-forked tongue.

I totally share the same reality with you. The "higher awareness" that we all have, unfortunitly has an auto drive. Most of us have not found the manual swich yet and this results in the "lesser state" being the more dominent one.

My quest is to find the switch.

I also believe that we all have a "magic stick" in our back pockets. We do however forget to look there at times.

The Power of Now is a very simple but powerful book and I have had huge wins reading this book and applying this data to myself. (Thanks Emma)
The timing could not have been better.

Your are also absolutely right in saying that others also have much to contribute to this thread. But I honestly think that you have also mad a great contribution.

Thank You Namaste

 

[20000000]

I went to a couple of different churches myself. I just can't bring myself back to organized religion, which is interesting. I used to think that people who told me they don't believe in organized religion were too scared to be part of a group or that they simply could not make up their mind. But I get it now that I have come as far as I have in my cult recovery.

I have my faith in God, I don't need to be part of an organized group to have that. I think the other big thing to struggle with is what do you fill your time (and thoughts) up with now that you aren't filling it up with scientology. I have the perfect answer for everyone - go out and LIVE. It is wonderful. You will love it and only learn to appreciate your newly found freedom until you do it.

Of course this all was after an obsessive dive into the internet, books and magazines in search of the truth.

Thanks for that Finally Free.

I have to agree with you when you say that organized religion is not for you and I feel that it's not for me either. I personally have not had a successful track with it. I do however believe that other have found it to be workable for them.

Going out and living life is the answer for the burn wounds from the Pot. For what is life if we cannot fully live it? This I feel is vital to the recovery of any ex-scn.

Hope you really enjoy living your life.

 

[20000000]

I am 75 and I left Scn 36, or there abouts, years ago. I have spent those living and enjoying. All during that time I have studied many books, to many to number. I would recognize a piece of truth when I read it. I was a Christian (Baptist) for several years and got to know Jesus pretty well. Left the church because I felt I had graduated. Still reading and learning.

At this stage of my life, in a wheel chair, 24/7 on oxygen, I am considering what I will do after death. I am planing to go to heaven, not reincarnating this time, but staying with the Masters and continuing my spiritual growth.
Looking forward to it. I am still enjoying studying and still learning every day.

God helped me to walk away from Scn before the really crazy shit started. I had completed OT1 and was a class 6 auditor. The wins that I had on my lower levels I used in life. Droppped the things that weren't useful. Hadn't thought about Scn for many years then found this site on the web. I had no idea of how insane and abusive it had become. I really admire and honor the people, here, who went through the hell that it became.

Now I want to do anything I can to stop the madness. Not much I can do in my place but I do pray several times a day and I know Mother and Father God are listening. They will help those who are fighting for the end of CO$.

I am glad that you are here and have the chance to read their stories and how they have recovered and become the giants they are.

Auntpat

The fact that you are also expressing your views on this Message Board is also a great contribution to others and also flows towards stopping the madness.

Thank you for your contribution.

 

[20000000]

That's an easy question for which the answer is: wherever your interests take you.

The only thing you truly need to be wary of is forgoing your own integrity.


Mark A. Baker

Thanks for that Mark A.Baker.

I'm also interested in what you have experienced. My interest right now is searching for truth. The resonse that I have been getting from others on this thread has been a great help in showing me, the right direction for my search of truth.

Yes, I have felt the effects of forgoing my own integrity. This one is a real bitch to overcome and I have made it one of my top priorities.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

Yes, it's about what's right for you and for you alone. Ideology is a very special and personal choice. And, personally, I think ideology can be created by that person and that non traditional paths can not only be taken (note: I did not say "followed") but also forged.

 

[thefiredragon]

Thanks for your input.

From my viewpoint, each one of us had a different track in the pot. I fully believe that CofS affected us all because it has the tech to deal with each and every "CASE" if you know where i'm coming from.

Yes I do agree with you that time heals. I have experienced it myself.

I am realy interested what religions you have tried. If it's ok with you, please give me some more data.

I got kicked out from almost every Church I tryed. Because of my backround as Scientologist.Some churches just can't acsept the fact that somebody would go to their Church and still believe in something else. I tryed almost all Churches in the area where I live and even some out of area. I had a hard time getting married in any of the churces.I was married twice;both time in City Hall.Just recenetly I left Galvary Asembly of God Church. (Read my post
"I'm thinking about leaving Christian Church.)
About my backround: My garnadparents from mom's side are Muslims and from my father's side are Orthodox. (Hope I spelled ot right.LOL) My parents never went in any Church.

 

[20000000]

Yes, it's about what's right for you and for you alone. Ideology is a very special and personal choice. And, personally, I think ideology can be created by that person and that non traditional paths can not only be taken (note: I did not say "followed") but also forged.

I see that. Thanks for posting it.

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Kathy I have read your thread and all I can say is Wow. You are a great insperation for others. Your determination to win is awesome. I am very happy to see that you, despite all odds, grabbed the bull by the horns and did something that truly worked for you.

From what I got out of your story, the key words were trust, confront & will power. You are truly a fine example of hope after the pot.

What also really touched me was the amount of support that this board has given towards your journey. But there again, this board is not made up of ordinary people.

All the best and thanks for sharing.

My determination came from being tired of the "baggage" I've been carrying around most of my life. When I started looking at what I was still carrying around and realized that Scn didn't do anything to alleviate that baggage, I decided to do what I'd tried before. Big difference being that I found a counselor that practices the Jung method and not just "talk therapy". I figure we all could talk about our baggage till the day we die. I didn't want to talk and talk and talk and talk. I wanted results. And I found a counselor that is getting results with her approach to counseling.

Yes, I did have to "confront" some stuff I really didn't want to. LOL!!! But the only way I was going to get rid of the baggage was by confronting and having a counseling that is patient and kind and understanding.

The members on this board are GREAT. They are very encouraging and supportive.

 

[20000000]

Where to go isn't so hard to answer. The tricky question is how to get there.

I've got lots of different ways to take charge off very effectively, most of them available in the PaulsRobot repetoire. But there's a lot more to do than just take charge off.

The most promising way I think I've found to change behavior is Cognitive Therapy, as summarised in an excellent book by Judith Beck entitled Cognitive Therapy: Basics and Beyond.

When I finally get around to making good use of it (definitely a thing that needs changing!), I'll make further comments here.

Paul

Hey Paul,

I have finally got round to acking your post. I have heard of PaulsRobot on this board but not yet had a look at it. (the contributors to this tread has been keeping me very busy) The Cognitive Therapy also sounds interesting and I will have a good look at that as well.

Thanks for your feed back and input to this thread man. I think that this thread could be an exellent compass for any ex-scn and newbie to this board. You guys have really made a good effort to plot the different courses and paths that could be considered for further examination.

Hope to hear from you soon.

 

[20000000]

I got kicked out from almost every Church I tryed. Because of my backround as Scientologist.Some churches just can't acsept the fact that somebody would go to their Church and still believe in something else. I tryed almost all Churches in the area where I live and even some out of area. I had a hard time getting married in any of the churces.I was married twice;both time in City Hall.Just recenetly I left Galvary Asembly of God Church. (Read my post
"I'm thinking about leaving Christian Church.)
About my backround: My garnadparents from mom's side are Muslims and from my father's side are Orthodox. (Hope I spelled ot right.LOL) My parents never went in any Church.

Dragonfly.

I have looked at your posts and found it to be a very interesting story.

I feel you and fully duplicate you. I have also sent you a private message. Please check your in box.

Thanks for your contribution to this thread and all the best.

 

[20000000]

My determination came from being tired of the "baggage" I've been carrying around most of my life. When I started looking at what I was still carrying around and realized that Scn didn't do anything to alleviate that baggage, I decided to do what I'd tried before. Big difference being that I found a counselor that practices the Jung method and not just "talk therapy". I figure we all could talk about our baggage till the day we die. I didn't want to talk and talk and talk and talk. I wanted results. And I found a counselor that is getting results with her approach to counseling.

Yes, I did have to "confront" some stuff I really didn't want to. LOL!!! But the only way I was going to get rid of the baggage was by confronting and having a counseling that is patient and kind and understanding.

The members on this board are GREAT. They are very encouraging and supportive.

Hey Kathy.

Yes, from what you have said in this thread, your counselor that you have been working with is the real why that you are making progess. It also proves the point that the right why, the right tech, applied to the right situation came in fact produce fantastic results.

Just a pity that another orginiza.....................$#%@#@$@$$$#@@#@@!#
could not do the same for us.

 

[thefiredragon]

thefiredragon.

I have looked at your posts and found it to be a very interesting story.

I feel you and fully duplicate you. I have also sent you a private message. Please check your in box.

Thanks for your contribution to this thread and all the best.

Thanks for your PM!!

 

[20000000]

I have been reading Living Deliberately by Harry Palmer and find it very interesting.

Has any one else read some of Palmer's stuff that can share their viewpoints.

 

[namaste]

I just Googled it, clicked on a downloadable PDF (free), and when I tried to save it I found that I had already saved the book for future reading. I don't remember when I saved it but it is there. I didn't even recognize the author's or the book's name, lol.
At a glance, it looks like it is along the same subject as I have been studying lately.
Hopefully I will have some time today to read some of it. Thanks.

 

[20000000]

So far today, I have not stopped reading it. It's almost as if I pulled in some right answers that I have been seeking, at the right time of my life.

 

[yon8008]

Harry Palmer and Star's Edge: Avatar Program

http://www.avatarepc.com/
The Mini-courses are also very good.

I believe the level 3 course WIZARD gets into NOTs type stuff.
It's nice to see what other Ex-Scientologists do with the Tech.

Those involved are High ARC in my experience.

- Yon

 

[Wisened One]

Hi two-with-seven-zeros:

Since the Big Blow, I personally tried finding me a *real* 'security blanket' through trying other Churches and religions. Some of them even helped me find some semblance of peace, comfort, even joy..for a little while. Then idk...the organization of it being full of such 'rules' and 'organization' would start to chafe and onward I'd go.

I also found lots of comfort and mind-exercises through books by other authors and they helped me and my husband for a while. (A New Earth brought INCREDIBLE peace to us).

Now sometimes, I wish I could go to some church (even if my former religion, Catholism) and gain comfort and I suppose I can if/when I want...but something always stops me, and I feel like I'd be...awkwardly misplaced within their (or any other organized religion's) walls.

I take comfort in a myriad of paths in the comfort of my own home, sure it's lonely, but oh well. Works for now.

Good Luck!

 

[20000000]

Harry Palmer and Star's Edge: Avatar Program

http://www.avatarepc.com/
The Mini-courses are also very good.

I believe the level 3 course WIZARD gets into NOTs type stuff.
It's nice to see what other Ex-Scientologists do with the Tech.

Those involved are High ARC in my experience.

- Yon

Hey Yon, Thanks for your feedback. I will chechout the site.

 

[20000000]

Hi two-with-seven-zeros:

Since the Big Blow, I personally tried finding me a *real* 'security blanket' through trying other Churches and religions. Some of them even helped me find some semblance of peace, comfort, even joy..for a little while. Then idk...the organization of it being full of such 'rules' and 'organization' would start to chafe and onward I'd go.

I also found lots of comfort and mind-exercises through books by other authors and they helped me and my husband for a while. (A New Earth brought INCREDIBLE peace to us).

Now sometimes, I wish I could go to some church (even if my former religion, Catholism) and gain comfort and I suppose I can if/when I want...but something always stops me, and I feel like I'd be...awkwardly misplaced within their (or any other organized religion's) walls.

I take comfort in a myriad of paths in the comfort of my own home, sure it's lonely, but oh well. Works for now.

Good Luck!

Hi Wisened One,

Thanks for you input. I must admit that I would never in this lifetime commit to any form of religion. I had enough of that to last me a few hundred years. Or at least till some orginization figuers it all out for real.

The main reason that I joined CofS to start off with was because I was soul searching. I wanted to find the I. Even though I had received auditing, I never really achieved what I wanted to originally. I did not get the answers or the results that I was looking for.

I do however believe that there are answers out there. Answers that I can find without a misleading path. (bridge)

I have found some data that I consider valueble to me. Each person has to follow his own path and find his own answers.

This site has poined me in the right directions and I am sure that in time I will reach my destination.