Withholds, relationships and self-inflicted mind control

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by Orglodyte 2, Mar 5, 2018.

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  1. Orglodyte 2

    Orglodyte 2 Patron with Honors

    I've been out of Scientology for over 20 years, and I think I have untied most of the knots it tied in my mind. But a few days ago I ran across a beauty, and laughed as hard as I have in a long time. (Well, not counting certain episodes of Flight of the Conchords.)

    I often find myself in agony in my intimate relationships. I will have lots of thoughts about my partner, who is of course a complex individual with qualities I love, and qualities that drive me nuts. Some of these thoughts are "bad," or unacceptable, what a jerk they can be, etc. ... and of course I don't want to say these things to them because they would hurt, and many of them could not possibly do any good, because they are off base, unfair generalizations, born of lack of empathy, narrow viewpoint, or just seen through my own filters -- and I can see that.

    These withheld communications can become stronger and stronger until they are all that occupy my field of view. I cannot see my beloved through the wall of huge withholds.

    So it becomes very important to me that I SUPPRESS these thoughts and I go into another phase where I am monitoring my own thinking reflexively, trying not to think "illegal" thoughts. Integration becomes impossible and I find myself feeling divided, internally conflicted, like there's a little voice inside me screaming to be heard. So I go into an existential angst that has often led to me leaving the relationship to get some relief.

    What I realized is that this was implanted in me by Scientology.

    I was indoctrinated to believe that:

    1) Any overts, not confessed to, would impede my case.
    2) Critical thoughts count as withholds.
    3) These withholds could always be pulled by an auditor or sec-checker with an emeter.
    4) If I did confess to the illegal thought, I would get in big trouble.

    This left me highly motivated to NOT THINK THOSE THOUGHTS.

    So now, all these years later, the belief was still clinging to me: Since I must confess my darker or less desirable thoughts, I must not think them. I was still in the cage of self-enforced mind control.

    So I make this declaration:

    I can think anything I damn well please, and I have no obligation to tell ANYONE.

    Then I get to decide what to do with those thoughts! Most of the thoughts can be regarded with amusement and let go of. Some are valuable information in the quest for a harmonious relationship. Some may be valuable to pass along to someone else. But I get to decide, and it's my choice and my responsibility.

    I no longer have to police my own thinking, because the obligation to confess to thoughts is gone.

    Dang that feels good.

    O
     
  2. Bill

    Bill Silver Meritorious Patron

    Yes, indeed. Scientology is big on this, as are other religions as well. Thoughts are not things. Thoughts are not "overts"; Nor are they "sins". Scientology is bad about that but isn't alone.

    In Scientology, I got real tired of feeling guilty for thoughts. Like you I finally realized that thoughts are not things. They have no substance, no real effect, no value. No person is harmed by anything you think. (Except, apparently, L. Ron Hubbard). You think a "bad" thought -- and nothing has happened in the real world. It's perfectly OK. Likewise thinking a "good" thought. As nice as your thought might be, in the real world, nothing has happened.

    Of course, Scientology isn't alone in such "thought shaming" and "thought control". Not only some other religions, but even today's politically correct culture: You are guilty of "sexual assault" if someone else thinks you might have had a "wrong" thought about them... even if nothing was explicitly said or done...

    Guilt is a way to control others.
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2018
  3. Orglodyte 2

    Orglodyte 2 Patron with Honors

    Yup. And this makes its way forward strongly in New Age philosophy, the Secret and so on. One acquaintance of mine wrote on her kitchen wall, "Thoughts are Things" -- as inspiration! Surely the indoctrination started with my Christian upbringing. I think the supposed infallibility of the e-meter, along with the heavy emphasis on confessionals, kicks it up a notch. I was never so unfree in my own mind as I was as a Scientologist.
     

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