...
I remember that HCOPL. In bad economic times, staff would try to go on welfare, and be "volunteers" at the org.
Welfare? You mean like food stamps?
I probably shouldn't laugh. Ron said "Total Cause Over Life", he never stated anything about "Total Cause Over Food".
RECRUITER
So, I noticed you just now taking your Free Personality
Test. That is very well done! You are one of the top
1% of the top 1% of all the most able beings on this planet!
WOG
Really? But I didn't even finish my test yet.
They didn't even score it, so how could you--
RECRUITER
Well just by the fact that you are here in the
org to get on your Bridge!
WOG
My bridge?
RECRUITER
Yeah, bridge to total freedom. Never mind that,
I don't want to give you absent mass.
WOG
Absent what?
RECRUITER
We could really use a fantastic person
like you on staff. We happen to be hiring
today if you are interested in a high paying
job where you help this planet.
WOG
Really? I could use the money--I'm a student
and I'd like a part time job to pay for all my
personal and school expenses.
RECRUITER
Consider your problem solved!
WOG
What? Wow! This is unbelievable.
But...well...what's the job? I mean
are you sure I can make enough each
week to pay my gas, car, insurance, rent,
utilities, tuition, books, phone and everything?
RECRUITER
There are no limitations on how much you can
make as staff! Just sign right here.
WOG
Unbelievable! Are you sure? Or are you just jacking
me up so I'll sign that contract?
RECRUITER
Ron states that every staff member can make enough
to live at a very high level of prosperity that would be
the envy of any VP of a major corporation!
WOG
Seriously? Wait, who's "Ron"?
RECRUITER
Our boss, Ron Hubbard.
WOG
He sounds amazing! I'd love to meet him
before I sign, if you don't mind.
RECRUITER
Well, he's, um.........dead.
WOG
Wutt? I thought you said he is your boss.
RECRUITER
Absolutely!
WOG
You have a dead boss?
RECRUITER
Well only his body is dead.
WOG
Weird! What's "not dead"?
RECRUITER
His spiritual identity is not dead.
WOG
Whoa! His spiritual identity works in the building here?
RECRUITER
As a matter of fact YES! He has his own desk.
Inside Office of L. Ron Hubbard!
WOG
Can I see it? I want to see what his
spiritual identity looks like.
RECRUITER
Well, you can't actually see him.
WOG
Because he is invisible or some junk?
RECRUITER
No, because he is on another planet.
WOG
Whoa...I really gotta go.
RECRUITER
I need you to sign this staff contract
before you go. So that you can have
total prosperity.
WOG
Dude, I didn't want to mention this but when
we met at that convenience store 15 minutes
ago, I noticed you were paying for your potato
chips and coffee with food stamps. That doesn't
look like total prosperity.
RECRUITER
---
[ONCE A YEAR I LEAVE THE LAST LINE OF DIALOG ON ONE
OF THESE CRINGEY CULT CONVERSATIONS BLANK,
SO FEEL FREE TO COMPLETE IT, LOL]