grundy
Gold Meritorious Patron
I was talking to a friend who is on the forum (I dont pass on who without permission) and I mentioned that at times, I feel like an outsider on ESMB.
It's a queer feeling.
I don't have the tremendous zeal that many seem to have. There are those that will get very emotional about their viewpoint. Hmm.. not really my thing.
There are those that feel unfairly attacked or fair gamed by the church. Im not one of those.
There are those that have been declared because they left quick because it was too much crap. I wasn't declared.
There are those that have had to disconnect because they left. I never had to.
There are those that feel like they were conned and never received any promised gains. I got a lot out of it.
There are those that feel that everything they learned was a crock. Actually, I liked almost everything I learned.
For some, Scn was always a total living hell. I had fun in many of the things that I did. It wasnt always fun, but you live in the moment.
Many lost fortunes to the church. I never really did. (Well except a few years of my life - but it was something to do.)
I know that I have been enthusiastic at times, and I have never been.. "unenthusiastic" about it, but I don't have as much reality on the upsets. I don't really get upset about things. It happened, its over.
I know the major thing which I have been inculcated with is this sense of being an outsider - but that started when I was a kid. No friends in school. (Okay, I had 1 in Kindegarten, 2 in first grade - got double promoted and never had a close friend in school again), a mother who didnt like contact with family (maybe she disconnected - I never thought of that), no social life as a teenager (working until I joined Scientology at 15 - and I joined staff).
Yeah - this is kinda victemy, I know.
But am I the only one who ever feels this way? (and NO, Zinj, I aint doing a poll.)
It's a queer feeling.
I don't have the tremendous zeal that many seem to have. There are those that will get very emotional about their viewpoint. Hmm.. not really my thing.
There are those that feel unfairly attacked or fair gamed by the church. Im not one of those.
There are those that have been declared because they left quick because it was too much crap. I wasn't declared.
There are those that have had to disconnect because they left. I never had to.
There are those that feel like they were conned and never received any promised gains. I got a lot out of it.
There are those that feel that everything they learned was a crock. Actually, I liked almost everything I learned.
For some, Scn was always a total living hell. I had fun in many of the things that I did. It wasnt always fun, but you live in the moment.
Many lost fortunes to the church. I never really did. (Well except a few years of my life - but it was something to do.)
I know that I have been enthusiastic at times, and I have never been.. "unenthusiastic" about it, but I don't have as much reality on the upsets. I don't really get upset about things. It happened, its over.
I know the major thing which I have been inculcated with is this sense of being an outsider - but that started when I was a kid. No friends in school. (Okay, I had 1 in Kindegarten, 2 in first grade - got double promoted and never had a close friend in school again), a mother who didnt like contact with family (maybe she disconnected - I never thought of that), no social life as a teenager (working until I joined Scientology at 15 - and I joined staff).
Yeah - this is kinda victemy, I know.
But am I the only one who ever feels this way? (and NO, Zinj, I aint doing a poll.)