Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

[HelluvaHoax!]

- PART 2

...

The newest episode of the continuing feature "MYTHOMANIACS WITH METERS":

(And, no, I did not make up that word. LOL)

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

My nomination for the all-time stupidest of the stupid is...(no, it's not the toilet paper dilemma that I erroneously thought was just a regional insanity only to discover on ESMB its true world-wide scope)...

...it's been mentioned before...

It's that Scientology is supposed to disseminate on Broad Public Issue the Bridge to Total Freedom in order to stave off nuclear annihilation and psych wards and this would include the Purif, the Grades...you know...how to handle Communication, Upsets, Fixed Conditions, Problems, unhappiness, false purposes, illiteracy, ARC Straightwire and all of that.

Ask any wog anywhere about anything like that and they won't have a clue. They won't even know about the Tone Scale or the ARC/KRC triangles...just read the commentary here of the never ins and you can readily see that they're clueless about these much needed and vital solutions...you know...marriage counseling, getting off drugs, etc.

Scientology is supposed to keep under very tight wraps the super secret super confidential OT data of Xenu, tax audits, volcanoes, Body Thetans, clusters and all of that because this material is sooooo restimulative that it will do in any thetan who runs across it. This stuff is kept under lock and key.

Ask any wog anywhere anything about Scientology and if they've ever heard of Scientology they will immediately mention Xenu, eternal batteries, DC-8s, volcanoes and BTs while remaining completely oblivious to the Grades.

Is that stupid?

lololololololol

Well, the OTs only have so much time, so have to select only the most sensitive super-secrets to protect.

Germany for example. Nobody there knows for sure how the Berlin Wall came down!

I happened to be in Berlin the moment it came down. The most overheard phrase all over Berlin at that moment was:

Was zum Teufel ist passiert?
Ich denke, die OTs nur die verdammte wand as-ised!

What the fuck just happened?
I think the OTs just as-ised the fucking wall!



​

 

[Dave B.]

Re: Top 100 Stupid POWER Moments in Scientology

...
Cross-Posted from another thread I just remembered and cringed about. Again. LOL.

It was a discussion about Grade V, the "POWER PROCESSES".

OMG, did I actually do this mind-numbingly stupid stuff? LOL.

-----------------​

I once had "Power" auditing (Grade V).

I was so powerful during this powerful rundown that I had to wear a powerful warning note pinned to my shirt all day that read:

I AM ON POWER PROCESSES.
PLEASE DO NOT TALK TO ME OR
ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MY CASE. ​

Yes, that happened. fuckingcringecringecringe!

Suggested note for all Scientologists to wear 24/7:

I AM IN SCIENTOLOGY.
PLEASE DO NOT TALK TO ME OR
ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MY NOT
HAVING ANY OF THE POWERS OF
A CLEAR OR OT THAT I PAID $500K FOR.
​

I should make one of those tags. It would read:

I just woke up. I haven't had my coffee.

Please DO NOT talk to me.

Or I will rip your head off

 

[guanoloco]

lololololololol

Well, the OTs only have so much time, so have to select only the most sensitive super-secrets to protect.

Germany for example. Nobody there knows for sure how the Berlin Wall came down!

I happened to be in Berlin the moment it came down. The most overheard phrase all over Berlin at that moment was:

Was zum Teufel ist passiert?
Ich denke, die OTs nur die verdammte wand as-ised!

What the fuck just happened?
I think the OTs just as-ised the fucking wall!



​

If OTs want the Berlin Wall to come down the go all theta perceptivs and theta flowy and handke this MEST consideration by going in session.

If OTs want the new books sold to raw public stat (NBSRAW or something like that) to go up they go door-to-door knuckle knocking.

Is there something stupid here?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid POWER Moments in Scientology

I should make one of those tags. It would read:

I just woke up. I haven't had my coffee.

Please DO NOT talk to me.

Or I will rip your head off

LOL!

That's why for those rare occasions that my regular fresh ground organic coffee (imbibed strong and black!) won't cut it, I take out my personal stash of this......

"World's Strongest Coffee". Try it, LOL.

Besides being crazy-ass strong, it's actually incredibly delicious. I wasn't expecting that the first time I ordered it (WEBSITE). Actually, I ordered it as a joke for an upcoming meeting i was holding and didn't expect to actually grind/drink any. I just loved the concept and the artwork and the name. At that time, their website was super funky and had wicked-funny shit on it.

Now the company's gone more mainstream corporate. But, one day I actually was soooooo freaking tired, I decided to try it. It was amazing, but only for special and rare occasions. It smells and tastes delightful, but after drinking it you'll know it's potent! LOL

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

If OTs want the Berlin Wall to come down the go all theta perceptivs and theta flowy and handke this MEST consideration by going in session.

If OTs want the new books sold to raw public stat (NBSRAW or something like that) to go up they go door-to-door knuckle knocking.

Is there something stupid here?

LOL!

Actually I don't see any inconsistency in OT's knocking door-to-door to sell books. If they instead wanted those doors to fall down (like the Berlin Wall), they would simply go in session.

Talking about things falling down. . . .

Once I was in a Solo Session and everything was running okay when I suddenly blew a huge BT that was "being gravity" and holding everything down. When he blew, my body was so light it felt like it was starting to fly right off the ground! Right after session, I heard on the news that a bus did fly right off the ground and off a steep cliff, killing 39 tourists.

For a brief moment I felt weird about it, but then I came right back uptone and wrote it up as a huge OT win for Advance! Magazine. Thanks Ron!

 

[uncover]

.....
Right after session, I heard on the news that a bus did fly right off the ground and off a steep cliff, killing 39 tourists.

For a brief moment I felt weird about it, but then I came right back uptone and wrote it up as a huge OT win for Advance! Magazine. Thanks Ron!

Hmmm..... yes.... seen from the viewpoint of overpopulation.....

 

[guanoloco]

Hmmm..... yes.... seen from the viewpoint of overpopulation.....

Xenu had somethinv to say about overpopulatiin. That's why we're here in this present time condition.

 

[Anonycat]

Xenu had somethinv to say about overpopulatiin. That's why we're hear in this present time condition.

He could have invented contraception. It's a hell of a lot easier than killing billions of people, finding billions of intergalactic DC-8s, Bombs, numerous magnetic soul-catchers, a brainwashing theater, an eternal force-field, bringing all that shit to earth, and waging a war to capture our beloved Xenu, and years to do it all. Alien fail!

 

[DoneDeal]

If OTs want the Berlin Wall to come down the go all theta perceptivs and theta flowy and handke this MEST consideration by going in session.

If OTs want the new books sold to raw public stat (NBSRAW or something like that) to go up they go door-to-door knuckle knocking.

Is there something stupid here?

What part of the concept of "pyramid scheme" did you fail to understand?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

My nomination for the all-time stupidest of the stupid is...(no, it's not the toilet paper dilemma that I erroneously thought was just a regional insanity only to discover on ESMB its true world-wide scope)...

...it's been mentioned before...

It's that Scientology is supposed to disseminate on Broad Public Issue the Bridge to Total Freedom in order to stave off nuclear annihilation and psych wards and this would include the Purif, the Grades...you know...how to handle Communication, Upsets, Fixed Conditions, Problems, unhappiness, false purposes, illiteracy, ARC Straightwire and all of that.

Ask any wog anywhere about anything like that and they won't have a clue. They won't even know about the Tone Scale or the ARC/KRC triangles...just read the commentary here of the never ins and you can readily see that they're clueless about these much needed and vital solutions...you know...marriage counseling, getting off drugs, etc.

Scientology is supposed to keep under very tight wraps the super secret super confidential OT data of Xenu, tax audits, volcanoes, Body Thetans, clusters and all of that because this material is sooooo restimulative that it will do in any thetan who runs across it. This stuff is kept under lock and key.

Ask any wog anywhere anything about Scientology and if they've ever heard of Scientology they will immediately mention Xenu, eternal batteries, DC-8s, volcanoes and BTs while remaining completely oblivious to the Grades.

Is that stupid?

LOLOL!

And Scientology is still pretending that nobody knows about Xenu.

Even though the OT III materials are plastered all over the internet and entered as exhibits in courtroom legal proceedings.

Yet Scn celebrities go on TV interviews and deny OT III, pretending they never heard of it.

Even though the original Xenu materials can be located in 3 seconds in Hubbard's own handwriting!

Yet, Scn spokespersons go on TV and throw fits, tantrums and literally storm off stage when asked a simple question about volcanos. Surely this must be one of Tommy Davis' "Top 10 Ways To Utterly Humiliate the Cult You Are Being Paid To Do PR For".

Anyone feel iike watching 60 seconds of lying cult rage quit? LOL

[video=youtube;rzUQZ-5x4ss]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzUQZ-5x4ss[/video]​

And yet, with all that, Scientologists are threatened with "losing their eternity" if they ever speak a word of Xenu to anyone "on this planet". And they are trained to lock their little MEST briefcases that contain the secrets of the universe. And if they don't lock the briefcase.....or forget for even 2 seconds to scramble the 3-number combination so nobody can possibly open it--they go straight to hellish ethics punishments called "lower conditions" where they must "make up the damage". The damage caused by not turning the numbers out of combination, even though nobody ever opened the briefcase and looked inside.

Well, just for good measure, here is all that stands between a Homo Sapiens and death by restimulation and pneumonia, should that human ever figure out how to break through the impenetrable security devices that Scientologists use to protect their Xenu-death-documents. . .

ADVANCED OT SECURITY SYSTEM​

It's sure a good thing that no WOG has ever figured out how to beat that unbeatable high-tech locking system. In a profound way, it confirms the OTness of Scientologists, that not only have they prevented wogs from finding out about Xenu, they have also prevented wogs from discovering a MEST device that could pry open that flimsy lock in a couple seconds.

CONFIDENTIAL MEST DEVICE​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Knowing How To Blow (ohb) moments in Scientology

.


Cross-Posted from another thread engaging in the dark arts of J&D (Jocularity & Depravity):

-----


​

Originally Posted by CommunicaorIC

 

[Dave B.]

. .

 

[Anonycat]

..

It's sure a good thing that no WOG has ever figured out how to beat that unbeatable high-tech locking system. In a profound way, it confirms the OTness of Scientologists, that not only have they prevented wogs from finding out about Xenu, they have also prevented wogs from discovering a MEST device that could pry open that flimsy lock in a couple seconds.

​

Back in the early 70s when it was indeed locked away in a briefcase, and word was that it was then handcuffed to its keeper (think Blues Brothers) I had heard of this powerful course, that if known of before doing the prerequisite courses, would kill you. Suddenly, I thought of some movie from the 1940s I'd seen that started with an actor who looked like a distinguished Harvard professor, with his oak desk in the shot, warning the audience that any pregnant women about to see the movie might want to leave the theater, etc., with the grave warnings.

I thought, well that's the stupidest shit I've ever been told in person before. The sekret class can kill anyone who finds out about it.

Then while doing the communications course, a staff member asked me if I'd gone exterior (left my body). There was always a lot of suggesting to people on course to prime them with suggestion as to encourage them to feel like they'd experience it. Like with auditing and past lives. They pour that crap on heavy. Anyway, when I was asked if I went exterior, I thought -- well, if people do, that locked briefcase isn't very safe. Dumbshit cult liars. LOL!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid OT SUCCESS STORIES in Scientology

..


I'm still having some bad thoughts.

As a Clear, I'm starting to become concerned that some of my reactive impulses to post bad things may not have been fully erased. . .

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid CLEAR MOMENTS in Scientology

..

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid "OH DAMN--YOU ALMOST COGNITED!" moments in Scn

...

The newest installment of the continuing feature "MYTHOMANIACS WITH METERS!"

(...and NO, I didn't make that word up, LOL)

 

[JustSheila]

lololololololol

Well, the OTs only have so much time, so have to select only the most sensitive super-secrets to protect.

Germany for example. Nobody there knows for sure how the Berlin Wall came down!

I happened to be in Berlin the moment it came down. The most overheard phrase all over Berlin at that moment was:

Was zum Teufel ist passiert?
Ich denke, die OTs nur die verdammte wand as-ised!

What the fuck just happened?
I think the OTs just as-ised the fucking wall!



​

If OTs want the Berlin Wall to come down the go all theta perceptivs and theta flowy and handke this MEST consideration by going in session.

If OTs want the new books sold to raw public stat (NBSRAW or something like that) to go up they go door-to-door knuckle knocking.

Is there something stupid here?

Meanwhile in Germany, while Scientologists were busy mentally masturbating with their past life demons in an obnoxiously perverted rendition of self-help flagellation combined with delusions of grandeur, genuinely spiritual folks were working for years to bring about the fall of the Berlin Wall. As the scientologists locked themselves away in rooms gripping soup cans tightly and dreaming of lives as super-heroes and obsessed about regaining superpowers, the Pastor of St Nicholas' Church spent years organizing and assembling a prayer group turned protest that eventually united a country:

By 9 October 1989, just after the 40th anniversary celebrations of the GDR, what had begun as a few hundred gatherers at St. Nicholas' Church had swelled to more than 70,000 (out of the city's population of 500,000), all united in peaceful opposition to the regime.

...

The next week, in Leipzig on 16 October 1989, 120,000 turned up, with military units again being held on stand-by in the vicinity. (Two days after the rally, Erich Honecker was forced to resign.) The next week, the number more than doubled to 320,000. This pressure led to the fall of the Berlin Wall on 9 November 1989, marking the imminent fall of the socialist GDR regime.The demonstrations eventually ended in March 1990, around the time of the first free multi-party elections on all-GDR level, for the Volkskammer parliament that paved the way to German reunification.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monday_demonstrations_in_East_Germany

Not that any scientologists ever joined the demonstrations, but they were eager to take credit anyway, as their delusional egos demanded.

But when the Cult of Scientology wants other religions to back them up so their fraud isn't exposed, they are so eager to be part of an 'enmasse' group! Not when it's for an actually useful, good purpose, though.

Fuck Scientology and its delusions and uselessness.

 

[Karen#1]

Remember when the Cult slimed Tony Ortega for being a journalist on the Village Voice when it had Adult type ads on its back pages ?
How hypocritical.

Take a peek Craigs list New York with 10 ads wall to wall spamming to LURE in singles in New York. Craig's list ~~ an entity with the highest amount of adult/prostititution/child trafficking and other issues that is 1000x more explicit in Vice. ​

Screen grab

Sample Ad

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/...anization.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

...

Meanwhile in Germany, while Scientologists were busy mentally masturbating with their past life demons in an obnoxiously perverted rendition of self-help flagellation combined with delusions of grandeur, genuinely spiritual folks were working for years to bring about the fall of the Berlin Wall. As the scientologists locked themselves away in rooms gripping soup cans tightly and dreaming of lives as super-heroes and obsessed about regaining superpowers, the Pastor of St Nicholas' Church spent years organizing and assembling a prayer group turned protest that eventually united a country:

...


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monday_demonstrations_in_East_Germany

Not that any scientologists ever joined the demonstrations, but they were eager to take credit anyway, as their delusional egos demanded.

But when the Cult of Scientology wants other religions to back them up so their fraud isn't exposed, they are so eager to be part of an 'enmasse' group! Not when it's for an actually useful, good purpose, though.

Fuck Scientology and its delusions and uselessness.

Wog concept of "Taking Responsibility": Accepting that one has done something bad, after which one assumes the liability for it.

Scientology concept of "Taking Responsibility": Waiting for others to do something good, after which one "takes responsibility" by taking the credit for it.​

EVERYBODY! SING ALONG!

You put your acceptable truths in,​

You kick your whistleblowers out,
You put your OT miracles in,
And you shake it all about,

You do the hokus pokus
and you take down the Berlin Wall
That what it's all about.
​