Feral
Rogue male
A couple of weeks ago I wrote to my Solo Nots C/S of many years. I don't know if it got to him, S.O. censors well may have stopped it and of course I've had no response.
I can't help wondering about who if anyone I may have helped to look at the actual scene with all this correspondence.
I wanted to put it up on the board for the benefit anyone who may be considering doing this level within the CofS, even though it is personal data and something I'd normally keep to myself. I was an active FSM when I was in and had helped many people onto OT levels, I know a few of those guys lurk here. So I think this little portrait will serve more people if I do bite the bullet.
Starts
Dear Mark,
I hope this letter finds you well and fit.
I have an important series of points I'd like to share with you, some things that have come to my attention after being on OT VII for fifteen years. First I would like to thank you for your dedicated C/Sing over the years. I know you put everything you had into it.
That being said, I'm sure you are aware that I spent 15 year on OT VII and audited about 3500 hrs. The cost to Vicky and myself was around $800,000 Aust $. I spent the majority of the last 8 years on the level utterly miserable, during that time I found myself hoping to die for the first time in my life. However I was convinced that the way out was the way through and persisted auditing for the majority of that period, several times a day.
Having departed from the level and a great deal more I have experienced a resurgence and would like to share the benefit of my experience.
I have come to suspect that the serious work of OT VII is done in the first 500 or so hrs. All that I got out of it I got then.
The six monthly sec checks are in violation of C/S ser 73 rb, the FPRD definately was.
The FPRD since GAT is run "general" until the ev purp step. This means all and sundry present mis-own the charge as we take the chain of heinous overts down the track till the dawn of time. This is in serious violation of "handling reads on OT IIIs and above" As I did 13 ints of FPRD during my six month checks at flag I consider this to be by far the most out tech and damaging feature of the service. Mis ownership tars all with the same brush and acts as a wrong indication for the balance, in my case with disastrous consequences.
I even suspect the sec checks were intended to be run that way , but have no data.
L&N the item me, this was changed in violation to the class 8 tape on the matter three years ago via the GAT drill on handling ptsness.
Obsession with MWHs:, I was repeatedly crammed and corrected on the application of mwh tech. It swung so far that it bore no resemblance to the HCOBs on the subject. Hubbard said "bitterly complaining" that became any complaint. He also said " when you hear 1.1 carping criticism that seems a bit stretched" that became any criticism, the net effect of this was that despite having 17 ints of FPRD and sec checking on the level as well as pulling my own witholds daily I became introverted at the first unhappy thought about anything. This is not the way to live a life. Factually I could and did find a WH any time, it did not always remedy the complaint but it did create silence.
I also experienced sending my WSs back after not finding a WH, the questions FNed on checking after it had been arbitrarily deemed that I had been critical. I was sent to keep looking until I found a WH, because it "MUST have been there". Couldn't the judgment that I was "critical" have been faulty? I was always prone to antagonism and I found this routine pushed me down the tone scale and not up.
Our gains on this level fell far far short of what was ever expected, the cost and time far exceeded anything we could have imagined, We still do not understand how Vicky consumed 6 ints on the EP check at flag, ensuring she had all the correct phenomenon, isn't auditing for the PC, not the org? 2.5 int of that were a sec check which ground to the point of her crying and refusing to go on, this is the third time it has happened to her on a sec check, have you ever read OW a limited theory?
To be honest our flag experience was an exercise in abuse that has had no equal in my life. The complexity of the experience and demand, harassment, expense, imposition led to a complete collapse of my personal well being 8 years ago, this in turn led me to becoming emotionally abusive as well as chronically unhappy. I persisted because what turns it on will turn it off. I no longer believe this datum at all, it certainly does not apply to all circumstances.
I'm taking the chance of writing this to you because I now suspect this abuse is endemic and systematic in the scn culture and we were all caught in it. I bear no malice or grudge, but thought I would let you know, the way out is not on this path of abuse, sacrifice and expense.
Sincerely KBM
I can't help wondering about who if anyone I may have helped to look at the actual scene with all this correspondence.
I wanted to put it up on the board for the benefit anyone who may be considering doing this level within the CofS, even though it is personal data and something I'd normally keep to myself. I was an active FSM when I was in and had helped many people onto OT levels, I know a few of those guys lurk here. So I think this little portrait will serve more people if I do bite the bullet.
Starts
Dear Mark,
I hope this letter finds you well and fit.
I have an important series of points I'd like to share with you, some things that have come to my attention after being on OT VII for fifteen years. First I would like to thank you for your dedicated C/Sing over the years. I know you put everything you had into it.
That being said, I'm sure you are aware that I spent 15 year on OT VII and audited about 3500 hrs. The cost to Vicky and myself was around $800,000 Aust $. I spent the majority of the last 8 years on the level utterly miserable, during that time I found myself hoping to die for the first time in my life. However I was convinced that the way out was the way through and persisted auditing for the majority of that period, several times a day.
Having departed from the level and a great deal more I have experienced a resurgence and would like to share the benefit of my experience.
I have come to suspect that the serious work of OT VII is done in the first 500 or so hrs. All that I got out of it I got then.
The six monthly sec checks are in violation of C/S ser 73 rb, the FPRD definately was.
The FPRD since GAT is run "general" until the ev purp step. This means all and sundry present mis-own the charge as we take the chain of heinous overts down the track till the dawn of time. This is in serious violation of "handling reads on OT IIIs and above" As I did 13 ints of FPRD during my six month checks at flag I consider this to be by far the most out tech and damaging feature of the service. Mis ownership tars all with the same brush and acts as a wrong indication for the balance, in my case with disastrous consequences.
I even suspect the sec checks were intended to be run that way , but have no data.
L&N the item me, this was changed in violation to the class 8 tape on the matter three years ago via the GAT drill on handling ptsness.
Obsession with MWHs:, I was repeatedly crammed and corrected on the application of mwh tech. It swung so far that it bore no resemblance to the HCOBs on the subject. Hubbard said "bitterly complaining" that became any complaint. He also said " when you hear 1.1 carping criticism that seems a bit stretched" that became any criticism, the net effect of this was that despite having 17 ints of FPRD and sec checking on the level as well as pulling my own witholds daily I became introverted at the first unhappy thought about anything. This is not the way to live a life. Factually I could and did find a WH any time, it did not always remedy the complaint but it did create silence.
I also experienced sending my WSs back after not finding a WH, the questions FNed on checking after it had been arbitrarily deemed that I had been critical. I was sent to keep looking until I found a WH, because it "MUST have been there". Couldn't the judgment that I was "critical" have been faulty? I was always prone to antagonism and I found this routine pushed me down the tone scale and not up.
Our gains on this level fell far far short of what was ever expected, the cost and time far exceeded anything we could have imagined, We still do not understand how Vicky consumed 6 ints on the EP check at flag, ensuring she had all the correct phenomenon, isn't auditing for the PC, not the org? 2.5 int of that were a sec check which ground to the point of her crying and refusing to go on, this is the third time it has happened to her on a sec check, have you ever read OW a limited theory?
To be honest our flag experience was an exercise in abuse that has had no equal in my life. The complexity of the experience and demand, harassment, expense, imposition led to a complete collapse of my personal well being 8 years ago, this in turn led me to becoming emotionally abusive as well as chronically unhappy. I persisted because what turns it on will turn it off. I no longer believe this datum at all, it certainly does not apply to all circumstances.
I'm taking the chance of writing this to you because I now suspect this abuse is endemic and systematic in the scn culture and we were all caught in it. I bear no malice or grudge, but thought I would let you know, the way out is not on this path of abuse, sacrifice and expense.
Sincerely KBM