I walked up to the front door of the Nordland and Clara was there. With two children in tow. She opened the door, ushered Chris out, put two suitcases on the ground and handed me Sean (who had to be carried then, he was not yet walking). And then closed the door.
Holding Sean in one arm, holding Chris' hand with the other and three large bags, nowhere to go, very little money and it was cold and dark.
More later.
Interesting that the first thing DM used his power for was to create a police department in the Church. I lost a lot of friends at this time, gained a lot too since people thrown out on the street ended up at my apartment as I paid no heed to the Church's "justice" rituals. Two missions in my city folded.
From all of this over time I knew very well there were people in the Sea Org capable of anything when I did join. I made sure I had credit cards out to the wall and an income. I actually had to finance myself in the Sea Org, pay to work there as I bought all of my own things, food, clothes, etc. It irked me that when I left after six years they handed me on a bill on top of everything else, (freeloader debt) but I paid it.
For the most part I found the people in the Sea Org were handicapped when it came to common decency or caring about others. It was a frightening experience to exist in that ghetto for six years. The brutality and injustice was harsh and below human standards. I had to see it with my own eyes and experience it for myself.
I was really able to leave it behind and I think it was very important for me to experience it for the OT levels to be real to me at all. I have to admit one thing though, when I got out I had a whole new appreciation for civilization and society as it stands. I am grateful for just about everything floating around in all the vast freedom.
And I am most grateful that I never rolled into the madness I saw there, I have a new appreciation for myself too.
And I am especially grateful for a few of the people that I know are still there, behind walls and seperated from the rest of society.