There is nothing like the insane thinking of someone on OT VII caught between serious financial and life troubles and the unbelievable financial and emotional pressures brought to bear by the church. It is very hard for someone outside the church and, perhaps, even for someone in the church but not having been on OT VII to comprehend.
Then again, maybe he was still trying to complete his battleplan (lol) and wear his hat by having the meeting and making the payment to complete the cycle, as he had emailed a co-worker that he would take care of this. I mean, if you are a scientologist and want to off yourself you would want to keep your word and complete all your cycles first, right?
And yes, what to do with that pesky briefcase??
Let's see...if I am going to murder maybe it's best to bring it with me so my wife can grab it. (But was she even at the office when this happened?)
Or should I leave it home? (Flag has the combination to your locked briefcase and closet so they'd have no problem getting at it.) This, in fact, would have been less out-security than bringing it with him to work.
Um...maybe Rex is an SP.
Or....maybe I won't kill anyone today, but I do want to kill myself and just in case I'll bring the briefcase because maybe I'll have a session first and see how it goes. Besides, I only did two sessions yesterday so I am under my quota and I don't want my poor D of P to catch hell. And maybe I'll bring the living will in case I miss in my attempt to kill myself because attempted suicide will land me in with the psychs for sure.
Or....I'm gonna kill this guy and then give myself a session and run out the overt before killing myself. Uh huh, this would be best.
There is an endless combination of insane thoughts from a cornered OTVII.
The pressures only go away if you step outside of the church. When in, they are very real and very dangerous.