The Dilettante
Patron
After 17 years in the church, I am out and I must say that I feel a tremendous amount of relief. No more being regged, recruited, and no more suppressed communication. I call myself "The Dilettante" because I remember when I first read about dilettantiasm, I thought, "That's me". I like to do so many things. It never sit well with me that LRH got to live such a full life and the rest of us were expected to give up all our interest outside of the church and just read about what he did.
It's funny that my husband was the one to get me into Scientology and also the one to get me out. When I first discovered that he was thinking about leaving the church, I felt such relief and I also felt guilty. When I asked him what would happen, he told me that they would probably try to get me to disconnect from him. He was very upset as he has family members who are in the church and the thought of them disconnecting with him was horrible. I will say that our years in the church put a huge strain on our finances and our marriage as well. There was so much suppressed communication. I was always considered the one who had CI on everything and in all honesty I did. But I learned very quickly to keep my mouth shut.
Anyway at that point I decided that I needed to find out for myself and not just blindly disconnect from him. If I was going to be asked to disconnect from my husband I needed to know the truth. As I looked at the data on the internet (thank god for the internet!) at first I was skeptical about the information. The more I looked the more I more I realized that we did not know the truth. Talk about "Think for yourself!" It was scary, you always think that any problem that you have will get handled somewhere on the bridge. What if you don't have a bridge?
And after that I felt like, maybe we should over look some of these lies because after all aren't we the only ones who are saving the planet? The greatest good for the greatest number and all that.
The more I read the more I felt I could not support a group based on such lies and inhumanity towards its own members. I knew that I had to leave the church and not pretend to be a member.
I called my "friend" who is my fsm, a BC grad and OT 5 to tell her what had happened. I wanted her to hear it from me as I was not sure what lies may come out. It shocked me that her very first words were, "Ok, I will have to disconnect with you". Just like that. I thought, "Wow, I'm glad I found out now that you are not my friend." She told me that LRH was source and the only tech she would adhere to. I found it ironic that her very last words to me were, "You have got to get "The Secret" tapes, they are incredible, I listen to them every day when I drive to work." So much for source!
So that is where I am at. My relationship with my husband has improved tremendously, he is more like his old self, the person I fell in love with. Thanks to all of your support we do not feel alone, it really helps to read all of your stories.
Best regards,
The Dilettante
It's funny that my husband was the one to get me into Scientology and also the one to get me out. When I first discovered that he was thinking about leaving the church, I felt such relief and I also felt guilty. When I asked him what would happen, he told me that they would probably try to get me to disconnect from him. He was very upset as he has family members who are in the church and the thought of them disconnecting with him was horrible. I will say that our years in the church put a huge strain on our finances and our marriage as well. There was so much suppressed communication. I was always considered the one who had CI on everything and in all honesty I did. But I learned very quickly to keep my mouth shut.
Anyway at that point I decided that I needed to find out for myself and not just blindly disconnect from him. If I was going to be asked to disconnect from my husband I needed to know the truth. As I looked at the data on the internet (thank god for the internet!) at first I was skeptical about the information. The more I looked the more I more I realized that we did not know the truth. Talk about "Think for yourself!" It was scary, you always think that any problem that you have will get handled somewhere on the bridge. What if you don't have a bridge?
And after that I felt like, maybe we should over look some of these lies because after all aren't we the only ones who are saving the planet? The greatest good for the greatest number and all that.
The more I read the more I felt I could not support a group based on such lies and inhumanity towards its own members. I knew that I had to leave the church and not pretend to be a member.
I called my "friend" who is my fsm, a BC grad and OT 5 to tell her what had happened. I wanted her to hear it from me as I was not sure what lies may come out. It shocked me that her very first words were, "Ok, I will have to disconnect with you". Just like that. I thought, "Wow, I'm glad I found out now that you are not my friend." She told me that LRH was source and the only tech she would adhere to. I found it ironic that her very last words to me were, "You have got to get "The Secret" tapes, they are incredible, I listen to them every day when I drive to work." So much for source!
So that is where I am at. My relationship with my husband has improved tremendously, he is more like his old self, the person I fell in love with. Thanks to all of your support we do not feel alone, it really helps to read all of your stories.
Best regards,
The Dilettante
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