It was not the information that I found astounding or even particularly interesting, I kind of took it as read that there was a plan or dream or sorts in the offing. What was astounding was being, for the first time in five years, with a group of people talking and thinking in Scientology speak and think. That was a most disconcerting and frankly, troubling experience. I felt blood vessels in my brain rupture.
One fellow, a still in, tried to run a coffee shop process on me to find my ARC X with the tech. Pedrofcuk of Dublin Anon and protest fame was with me and he was as freaked out as I was with regard to their behaviour. It has taken some reflection to process what we experienced.
The encounter brought home to me just how far gone from the real world these people are, they speak gobbeldy gook. They cannot see or even perceive the world around them, so deeply are they lost in the Hubbard faux reality.
I watched them, I like watching people, it is a little hobby of mine. When these people, all former SO, weren’t jabbering on in gap-less compulsive communication about how creepy and weird the freezone people are, what they are going to do once they get St. Hill back and who they were in their past lives, they stared into the half distance. Cogs spinning in their heads: trying process what had happened to them and what they were doing to themselves.
I was astounded watching them chain smoke, their manic restless moves, fixed and forced (pardon the language) up-tone 'beingnesses'. Blinkless eyes. If you met a person acting like that you would assume mental illness, when you meet and interact with a group of people in this mode, it is a bit creepy. It is mental illness. That is what I found frightening, Hubbard created a system that is in use daily in the civilized world, that induces mental illness on an industrial scale. And I was like that, just a few short years ago. I shudder.
Sorry Petey, I went off the point. The info garnered is what I garnered, it is fairly obvious that they do have a plan of sorts, these people are working in some kind of a co-ordinated fashion. I don't know, or really care, what degree of wishful thinking is involved, but they, being scientologists, are utterly convinced of the rightness of their plan. What I found genuinely chilling was that these people were out yet 100 percent 'in', there had been no diminishing of the conditioning, no reflection, no self examination. They were still Sea Org Members, still on mission.
Hi John Anchovie,
SO happy to have you here on exScn with me and so many others who are fully out. Your observations are terrific. Thanks for all the information.
I thought Marty had a plan to take over corporate Scn when he recently mentioned on his Board that he is still listed as a legal corporate member of RTC. You've confirmed my thoughts on this.
Jesse Prince mentioned what a power shit-fight it was the last time around, when Hubbard died. Can you imagine how it is now that DM has had over two decades to legally and physically armor himself? Marty and co are living in la la land thinking they are going to move in and take over. Delusions of grandeur have always been part of Scn. Marty was clueless that Debbie was gearing up for action, so he hasn't infiltrated very deeply, has he?
But telling stories of grand things like taking over billion dollar corporations and putting your friends in charge is a Hubbardian device that Marty learned very well. Some people will always be followers. It is their nature. Marty lives off their admiration and keeps feeding their dreams and as long as he does so, it really doesn't matter that his plan is ridiculous, he still gets to be a cult leader with fools sucking up to his every word. He's got a good deal.
My most difficult challenge after Scn has been reconciling that there was some good in it. The hardest thing I've done has been coming back to my Scn past two years ago here on exscn. I left it behind for as long as I could, as many others have done. It was crazy stuff, still is.
But it promoted positive thinking. It promoted using your abilities to their fullest. The problem is, it robbed me of all independence and rights to my life, actions, thinking processes, earned money, and production - and by so doing, stole years from my life.
To keep the positive thinking and believing in self while remaining truly independent in thought and life, to reincorporate these things in my life as my own identity has been my focus. Because there is no other choice.
I cannot hate my experience in Scn. Mainly because hate does not allow me to move on.
Yes, Scn is an addiction. As you said, it causes mental illness - specifically, dissociation. Its founder was a chronic story teller, liar, braggart, megalomaniac and selfish, power-hungry, admiration-craving, paranoid thief
because he was dissociated. I don't believe Hubbard intended to cause the dissociation in others. Its the end-result of listening and following every word of a madman so that one thinks like him and thereby becomes just as mad.