WARNING - WALL OF TEXT!!!
I couldn't decide whether to start a new thread or revive this older one. I'm just not sure what the exact etiquette is...
I wanted to share a couple experiences and thoughts.
Getting out of this body seems like it has always been a priority for me. My earliest memories of this drive manifesting itself is me sitting on my bed calmly trying to back out of my body when I was about five. Later, in 6-7th grade I came across Robert Monroe's work and started educating myself on astral projection and OBEs. I was so excited that someone else had already explored this thing that I didnt realize was 'normal.' Normal in the sense that I was not the only one who felt this way or realized that they too weren't bodies. I always found it peculiar when the body would become ill. I would always laugh because thats when I noticed most that I wasn't it. It was sick, I wasn't. the more it suffered the more I laughed because its like the distinction was more clear.
I had a dianetics book delivered to my door by some persistent book seller and I felt like I had found the answer. I walked into my first org (orlando) and told them I needed to go clear as described in this book (I was holding up the dianetics book) so I could get out of my body. They tried to sell me immediately on scientology and I told them I didn't need all that crap, if I could just get rid of some of these hidden incidents I would be able to get out on my own. After a few hours of dianetics and hanging out at the org for a few days over the next couple of weeks and I was on the bridge excited about getting out.
My first exteriorization experience was more of a "becoming something else" experience. It was on ARC objective (look around here and find something really real, you wouldn't mind being around, you wouldn't mind communicating with). I actually BECAME a bucket for a few seconds. It was the most awesome thing that had ever occurred to me at that point. The next time was the most profound for me...
The next time was in grade zero. I was coming close to the last few hours I had on account and the process was in the area of hidden things (spot something hidden or something such). The auditor was catching up on some admin during session ( just a few seconds) and I was feeling funny. I asked him if it was ok if I exteriorized (I was worried about all the big FNs that we had to break for - I hated taking a break for anything). I think I had spotted myself as 'hidden.' He seemed puzzled and said "sure" and went back to writing his notes but he glanced at the meter and did a double take at the meter and then followed up with "why?" and I explained I didn't want session to stop. After comm-ing with me a bit on it I felt comfortable and fully exterioized.
I laughed for five minutes and could do nothing but laugh for five minutes. Here I was, exterior and still connected to the body, sort of. He was trying to get me out of the room to go to the examiner and was having trouble getting me to move. I was afraid to try and stand up, I was afraid of trying to make the body do anything - I was afraid it wouldn't work or that I would go back in if I tried to make it move.
He finally started to get a bit perturbed so I decided to try and stand... It worked! much more laughing! It was incredible! It was like I had a bit of dual perception - mine wasn't very good, it was like I was aware of spaces and people but the body perception just solidified everything for me. My body was a pet! It was funny that I never wore my seatbelt but I put it on for that drive home - I had to take of this thing! Seems hard to describe. My personal perception diminished over the next few days as I was still focused on body perception to get it around and work etc.
I spent about 6 magical weeks exterior. The body worked so much better without me in it. It slept better, was more regular, a few minor aches were no more. I worked so much better not being influenced by it any more. I was so much more social, so many anxieties gone, I was so much more interested in others! Life was so easy - there were no problems just situations that I dealt with quickly and without the usual figure-figure.
After a few weeks the break in reality with my wife was so great I came to the realization I had to leave her as she was never interested and could never see my point of view. I simply decided to tell her so. Well the fountain works started and I found myself wobbly and crashed back in.
I've never re-achieved that state in full strength and duration. The church really started to screw things up at that point (or I did so I wouldn't get out and break everyone's heart anymore). After another 150 hours I was done with scientology.
I've been out several times since then but never the same magnitude. I've read several people's ideas about what it takes and different rundowns designed for that purpose but it always seemed those processes hit too far away from the foundations of the problem (most fosued on space and old locations and int/ext). Though I have exteriorized several friends with just "Get the idea you
have to have a body. Get the idea you have to
avoid having a body."
The problem seems to be breaking my 'identification' with the body. We have all had things we 'know' (usually just intellectually) but then we cog on something that makes what we 'know' so much more real and we 'know' it at a whole new level. I'm going to find someone to start putting in the hours on CCHs and Objective until this is more consistently real for me (I am not a body). That is always what happens when I do get out. I become so much more aware that I control it, that I am not it. I find it becomes an obedient pet. It stops fidgetting and seems to become so much more deliberate, calm? It's hard to describe. It's like things from me quit bleeding into it where it becomes expressed as a fidget - does that make sense?
It seems the first step for anyone getting out should be the thorough examination of the fact that they are the ones moving the body, it obeys them, it is not them. Working on things like spacation and old places you are stuck seems like something for more stability maybe higher up but doesn't the foundation seem like it should be a certain high level of certainty and high constant awareness of the fact that you aren't it? I think this is why the old way of doing CCH produced so many exteriorizations, you ran it and the more people found out they were in control of the body the more they realized they weren't it!
After that, for me, I think I need to work on the whole hidden thing and being seen. Spotting myself as something 'hidden' when I had my first major exteriorization really hit home. I was hiding. I've seen alot of material on why but basicly this needs cleaned up. "what problem would hiding be a solution to?" and "Spot something hidden" seem like good starts in this area. I need to do some more research into this and how best to solve it. "What would happen if you were seen?"
After that it seems like body sensation/perception is what really needs dealt with next. After that first big exteriorization my perception diminished quickly, I believe, because I was still so constantly focused on on the body. It is such a handy cap and crutch. it is also course and loud in comparison to my own perceptions, like listening listening to a whispered conversation (my perceptions) over the concert of white noise constantly going on (body perceptions). Sensation really seems like a glue, or drug. The one time a ran "have to have/ have to avoid having" on body sensations I quickly found myself being torn apart, like fighting an addiction I know is bad for me. Trying to stay away but not able to because it makes other stuff go away. If I can keep this loud body game going I don't have to worry about what I know is really there.
Anyway... I'm not very well trained. I've read alot but still find the application of so many things to be like stumbling around. So I'm just coming back from a bunch of BPC I picked up trying to run things on myself last summer and I am finding my interest returning. If I were to find I had a week of life left this would be my regret- that I didn't do enough to solve the problem of being forced to have a body.
I think I'm going to try and keep it very simple this time:
CCHs & Objectives to really raise the awareness and distinction of self/body
work on hidden/being seen
work on the glue/addiction of sensation
Thanks for the feedback guys
Quasi
P.S. I do believe I was forced to have a body. I think it was one of the reasons I was so driven for so long on the subject, just operating on my last strongest desire "to not have a body." My reality currently is that they beat you until having a body is a step up. But that's the trap - there is no more up to go to from there. if you are a body where do you go from there?